Bootcamp started May1st, Week #5

[OceanWindRider]

Ok, recruits, let's do a headcount who's still in the bootcamp.

I want you all to post that you're in and what your comfort level in terms of week 4 and week 5 is.
Then, I will alter the bootcamp program depending on the number of people still in and your progress.
Please post ASAP so we don't keep everyone waiting for this week's assignment.

 

[evil]

Gentlemen!
Finally, we have separated the wheat from the chaff.
We are the elite squad of the bootcamp world.
4 out of over 40. thats pretty damn impressive.

So lets do what we are trained to do!

from what i can see, the upcoming weeks will be:
1. doing more of what we've already done (get number closes)

2. practise alpha male behaviour on dates

3. full close!

this is where the fun begins.
this is what we are here for.
this is what we are born for.

thomas, poohead, ocean,
lets all cross the week 8 line together.

JUST DO IT!!

ps: poohead, get a grip!

 

[nonchalant]

this is the artist formerly known as poohead. wadup dawgs.

i changed my name because poohead is frankly a stupid name and i never expected to start posting with it.

right now i'd like to start the rejection week over, but i'll go along with whatever you guys decide.

 

[OceanWindRider]

nonchalant, welcome! I am really glad you could make it!
:rockon:
I was going to post that I am kind of going through the same thing.
It's really hard to separate what's going on in my life vs what's going on with the girls. I have to have my other stuff handled (like cleaning up, getting a job, handling divorce, etc.) But that means until that's done am I never going to try with women?? That would suck
Also, how would I define "done"? Would I ever be able to say: "Ok, now I am a man enough and I deserve women"? I don't know.
So I ask myself the same questions.

But basically, I am going to do everything at the same time. That means taking care of skills with women at the same time as handling my other areas of life.
By the way, I read some of your blog. You had several dates in a month - that's a lot!!! That's WAY MORE than A LOT OF GUYS are starting from.
So don't be too harsh on yourself. We just have to plow through that.

As far as the task goes. For now, we're going to concentrate on rejection.
It's just the other part of the conversation that leads to rejection might or might not be different. Until you and me and whoever else is still in deals with it - our goal is to GET REJECTED. Period.
That is the goal. Then there is no failure!!

When we're going for a day 2 - that's whole other story. But when opening girls and getting numbers - the goal is to get rejected.
Hence, there is no failure, there is only feedback!!

 

[Thomas94305]

OceanWindRider.. You opened this thread asking for a headcount and comfort level with weeks 4, 5. I'm IN. As for comfort, week 5 seems fine. Week 4's the problem. So far, I've gotten one downright no.. one number close, but only getting her answer machine, and 2 more number closes.. haven't called these last 2 back.

Soo... I've talked with more than just 4 women during this exercise. I'm having problems feeling OK asking for the number. When I do ask for the number, there's often been enough conversation that she feels OK to give it to me. I also need to push starting convo's and asking for numbers with the most attractive women I see.. the one's I'm number closing with now are easy enough on the eye.. but the goal is to be comfy with whomever appeals to me.

Any helps on what you guys do to psych yourself into asking for the number?

I'm in a new town now, and am dealing with a secondary problem of not finding good places to sarge. I went out earlier this week. There's a lot of little pubs here, but they were dead. There's a SBUX here, but the crowd was a lot of high school students (no joke, under 18's). Please post the venues you guys find most useful for going for numbers..

Nonchalant.. U R in Chicago.. U might want to try Rush Street. It's a couple of blocks with nothing but bars, dance places, etc on it. It's very lively Friday and Saturday nights. I've visited it, from what I remember, most of the places are quiet enough to convo fine. I do not advocate bars for meeting someone nice to date; I can discuss why if needed. However, what you'd get with going to Rush is.. I think there's like 10-20 clubs in a 2 block area, most get a decent crowd... You can go to one, quickly try out stuff on a couple of women. If that's no good, you can bounce and in minutes have a new venue. Your slate is wiped clean, you don't have to deal with a close that you felt uncomfortable about, or having walked into your first place being too quiet and looking like the unassertive shy guy, etc... In a couple of hours, you can approach oodles of people.

 

[nonchalant]

OceanWindRider.. You opened this thread asking for a headcount and comfort level with weeks 4, 5. I'm IN. As for comfort, week 5 seems fine. Week 4's the problem. So far, I've gotten one downright no.. one number close, but only getting her answer machine, and 2 more number closes.. haven't called these last 2 back.

Soo... I've talked with more than just 4 women during this exercise. I'm having problems feeling OK asking for the number. When I do ask for the number, there's often been enough conversation that she feels OK to give it to me. I also need to push starting convo's and asking for numbers with the most attractive women I see.. the one's I'm number closing with now are easy enough on the eye.. but the goal is to be comfy with whomever appeals to me.

Any helps on what you guys do to psych yourself into asking for the number?

I'm in a new town now, and am dealing with a secondary problem of not finding good places to sarge. I went out earlier this week. There's a lot of little pubs here, but they were dead. There's a SBUX here, but the crowd was a lot of high school students (no joke, under 18's). Please post the venues you guys find most useful for going for numbers..

Nonchalant.. U R in Chicago.. U might want to try Rush Street. It's a couple of blocks with nothing but bars, dance places, etc on it. It's very lively Friday and Saturday nights. I've visited it, from what I remember, most of the places are quiet enough to convo fine. I do not advocate bars for meeting someone nice to date; I can discuss why if needed. However, what you'd get with going to Rush is.. I think there's like 10-20 clubs in a 2 block area, most get a decent crowd... You can go to one, quickly try out stuff on a couple of women. If that's no good, you can bounce and in minutes have a new venue. Your slate is wiped clean, you don't have to deal with a close that you felt uncomfortable about, or having walked into your first place being too quiet and looking like the unassertive shy guy, etc... In a couple of hours, you can approach oodles of people.

i read on another board a couple of good ways to help get over fear of approach.

-visualization. play in your head asking for numbers and closing.
-play a mental game with yourself, pretend like someone will kill you if you don't go for the number close, like your d*ck will fall off if you don't go for the close. make it a life and death thing.

are we starting next week or something?

 

[nonchalant]

nonchalant, welcome! I am really glad you could make it!
:rockon:
I was going to post that I am kind of going through the same thing.
It's really hard to separate what's going on in my life vs what's going on with the girls. I have to have my other stuff handled (like cleaning up, getting a job, handling divorce, etc.) But that means until that's done am I never going to try with women?? That would suck
Also, how would I define "done"? Would I ever be able to say: "Ok, now I am a man enough and I deserve women"? I don't know.
So I ask myself the same questions.

But basically, I am going to do everything at the same time. That means taking care of skills with women at the same time as handling my other areas of life.
By the way, I read some of your blog. You had several dates in a month - that's a lot!!! That's WAY MORE than A LOT OF GUYS are starting from.
So don't be too harsh on yourself. We just have to plow through that.

As far as the task goes. For now, we're going to concentrate on rejection.
It's just the other part of the conversation that leads to rejection might or might not be different. Until you and me and whoever else is still in deals with it - our goal is to GET REJECTED. Period.
That is the goal. Then there is no failure!!

When we're going for a day 2 - that's whole other story. But when opening girls and getting numbers - the goal is to get rejected.
Hence, there is no failure, there is only feedback!!

yeah i'm gonna do everything at the same time.
if you can do this while going through a divorce i can do this.

 

[nonchalant]

are we on for redoing the rejection week?

i did 4 more over the weekend - 1 was actually a full close but i'm gonna count it.

bringing me up to 6/10

3/10
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=944576#post944576

4/10
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=944577#post944577

5/10
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=944580#post944580

6/10
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=944582#post944582

 

[Thomas94305]

FR on another rejection. Will keep posting until we coalesce around some objectives.

Starting to learn the social life in my new location. There's several small pubs around. I don't normally do pubs, but am adapting. Went out to one Saturday. Talked with a gal, maybe a couple of sentences.. name, how's your week been, some guy pushes through and I used that to ask if she's into "nice guys" or "bad boys". Walked off, walked past her a little later and said maybe a sentence or two. Time for me to go. Approached her, and said "I'm going to bounce. It might be cool to talk with you again, can I have your #?" She said "I'm married"... OK, up'd my body count.

Reflections: After, this whole exercise struck me as meaningless. Then I had a moment of clarity where I realized that's exactly the point.. rejection is meaningless. It isn't a positive thing... then again, it isn't negative either. I'm free to approach whatever HB I want to later. Rejection is just basically neutral. I don't advance, I'm not set back.

Still need to get used to the social situation in my summer time surroundings. Making progress, and hope for a better report soon..

 

[OceanWindRider]

I am going out to get my rejections, will post later

 

[nonchalant]

if you look at the rejection week as just a humorous exercise it makes it easier

 

[nonchalant]

Any helps on what you guys do to psych yourself into asking for the number?

3 second rule
also
if you are crashing and burning, might as well blurt out 'hey can i get your number?'

also

repeat: 'just another brick in my palace' and '250 approaches is the magic number'
each approach is a learning experience, even if you make an ass out of yourself you get better at it and more confident. i also found that it's not that bad, most women are basically nice as long as you put forth an affable vibe.

 

[Thomas94305]

Nonchalant.. Great posts on your FR thread.. great going!

How'd you get your wings? I'm finding the thought of just approaching a gal and starting a conversation to be sooo many light years ahead of most guys, that they freak out over the suggestion of going out with me to do this. They instead wanna wait for forces of nature to hand them an opportunity, like maybe happening to work with her, or going out and staring at her until she comes over, instead of creating the opportunity for themselves.

repeat: 'just another brick in my palace' and '250 approaches is the magic number'

Am agreeing with this one. Finding there's no magical words this time, no reasoning or personal mind games other than EXPERIENCE. The only thing I found to make this easier is take things in steps where possible. I am not a pubs person, and don't know this town that I'm in for the summer. This past week, reasoned to myself that I'd just go to one, stand around, and get comfortable just being there. I did exactly that, and it's helping a lot. Am getting into making convo's again in this new environment. Most important thing is to accept where I'm at and that whatever my next step is, the most important thing is it's a step FORWARD.

I think I'm up to about 50-60 HB approaches from this boot camp. The only part that seems easy at this point is to say "hi". The rest usually has anxiety, and I wish that would go away. Then again, pro PUAs say this never really goes away. And, before the boot camp, "hi" gave me anxiety.

Sarge on!

 

[nonchalant]

Nonchalant.. Great posts on your FR thread.. great going!

How'd you get your wings? I'm finding the thought of just approaching a gal and starting a conversation to be sooo many light years ahead of most guys, that they freak out over the suggestion of going out with me to do this. They instead wanna wait for forces of nature to hand them an opportunity, like maybe happening to work with her, or going out and staring at her until she comes over, instead of creating the opportunity for themselves.

Am agreeing with this one. Finding there's no magical words this time, no reasoning or personal mind games other than EXPERIENCE. The only thing I found to make this easier is take things in steps where possible. I am not a pubs person, and don't know this town that I'm in for the summer. This past week, reasoned to myself that I'd just go to one, stand around, and get comfortable just being there. I did exactly that, and it's helping a lot. Am getting into making convo's again in this new environment. Most important thing is to accept where I'm at and that whatever my next step is, the most important thing is it's a step FORWARD.

I think I'm up to about 50-60 HB approaches from this boot camp. The only part that seems easy at this point is to say "hi". The rest usually has anxiety, and I wish that would go away. Then again, pro PUAs say this never really goes away. And, before the boot camp, "hi" gave me anxiety.

Sarge on!

Thanks.

I became friends with one of my wings through my Java users group. The other 3 are his high school buddies. I've partied with them a couple of times, this is the first time we all went out together to sarge. My Java wing is an rAFC, but he hasn't done any reading. Any DJ principles he knows he got from talking to me. The other 3 are just alpha guys, they don't approach but they're muscle guys and they're pretty confident in social situations. Good guys to go out with, although me, Java wing and wing2 were the only ones approaching. I think the other two were just sitting back and laughing at us. These are alpha guys so I don't think they really have to approach. One of them laid a stripper his first time at a strip club.

It's true the first 2-3 approaches of the night are the hardest so I tried to get them out of the way asap. I did a solo sarge semi FR last weekend too. I'm going to continue to solo sarge as well. Every day I go out in the field it's like I'm back at square one again - today I had to work up the courage to say 'hi' to people, there weren't any HB's I encountered in just my daily routine of work out/laundry/supermarket so I didn't approach anyone. I'm feeling pretty down about that, I'm contemplating going somewhere to watch the game where I can possibly sarge.

 

[evil]

thomas,
here's a world wide lair list to find wings in your area

http://www.bristollair.com/lairlist/

 

[evil]

went out fri & sat night,
got 2 rejection on fri & 1 on sat.
nothing to write home about.
i wasn't that keen on them anyway.

 

[OceanWindRider]

I went out today and did maybe 8 approaches.
Got 1 email, I guess the rest were rejections
Had some fun with the direct approaches too.

 

[nonchalant]

just to be clear - you guys are going for the phone close right?

cos i'm way over 10 approach/rejections but i'm still behind on attempted phone closes.

 

[Thomas94305]

got 2 rejection on fri & 1 on sat.
nothing to write home about.
i wasn't that keen on them anyway.

Ya Evil.. I'm trying to relate to someone AVERAGE rejecting me, when I've gone out with and been chased by much better looking. It's easy for that negative voice to kick in and say "well, if Ms AVERAGE isn't interested, how will Ms HB7-10 ever have an interest?" I know that people reject for all sorts of reasons, meaning that Ms AVERAGE's reasons may not apply to Ms HB7-10. How to quiet those negative voices??

Nonchalant.. I am going for number closes. My personal goal is to have done 10 number closes in a week, any combination of getting the number or getting rejected. I have already gotten 10 rejections in a night if you count going to a dance place, and getting 10 no's to "wanna dance?" Personally, I ask myself "what do I want to end up with?" and choose short term goals based on that. I want to end up with the ability to approach whomever I feel like.. with managed fears.. see who this person really is.. and get numbers often enough to date quality women.

 

[nonchalant]

Nonchalant.. I am going for number closes. My personal goal is to have done 10 number closes in a week, any combination of getting the number or getting rejected..

so approach without *attempted* number close is permissible for this week?
as in, if you approach and the words 'can i get your number?' don't come out your mouth - it may be an approach, but it will not count towards the 10 'rejections' for this week's assignment?

because i've approached more than 10, but a lot of them i've gotten blown out before i could ask for the number - do they still count towards my 10?