Boot Camp week 1 (Response thread)

[onestargeneral]

Ist Day on Week One

Hi!

I've inserted an exclamation point (see above) because I am in a fairly good mood. It takes a lot to get an exclamation point out of me, so be impressed.

Seriously, though, I went out today and did the first excercise--one hour making eye-contact and saying hi. This is something I've done before--but never with any real discipline. I'd just do it when I felt like it. I like the one hour specification. This is good. It's easy to go out and say hi to five people and think, "ok, that's good, I'm accomplishing something." And then not do anything about it again. If for that reason alone the boot camp seems like a good idea--gotta have a program to stick to, like working out.

So, today was a good day to do the eye-contact/hi thing--it's beautiful out--one of the first real nice days of Spring. Everyone, including me, is in a better mood, so it's easier to make connections.

I started out walking downtown on my way to get some lunch and do some studying (finals this week). I made some eye-contact, and said hi (only to dudes at first, because they were the only ones to return eye contact). I still find it hard to say hi to anyone unless we make eye contact first (however brief). I think, in order to say hi without eye contact, you have to decide beforehand that this is what you're going to do. Otherwise, you wait for the EC and if it doesn't happen, the momen't passed.

Got 10 hi's--if you count the girl who smiled and waved at me from a distance (which I do). Also talked to this girl who performed at a theater thing that I also performed in last night (it's called No Shame Theater). She's cute. It was nice.

So, that's that. I hope to keep posting, so that I'll also keep up with this boot camp training. It worries me to see that so many people give up after the first week, though--I hope that won't be me!

--osg

 

[onestargeneral]

Day Two Week One

Second day, ten more hi's--last one, I saw this pretty cute girl walking towards me from a distance (wavy blonde hair, short skirt) and resolved that I would greet her even if she didn't make eye contact. She didn't, I said "hello"--and she didn't do respond at all right away. I felt awkward just walking on as if I hadn't said anything, so I kind of waved and smiled. She finally looked at me, didn't say anything, looked away, and kept on walking. Which pissed me off. We were the only two people on the sidewalk, we were both alone, it was the middle of the day (a bright, sunny day, to boot) and she ignores my attempt to be sociable. Come on! It's not like I was hitting on her. After that exchange, I've felt unsociable. I know rejections (or being ignored) are supposed to be good for you, but they really do a lot of damage to your ego.

But I'm at twenty.

 

[onestargeneral]

Week One Last Day

I doubt anyone's reading this, but oh well--So, I started reading the stuff from week one last friday and started doing the excersises the next day. That makes this my last day officially (for week one)--I'm at forty "hi's"--not a complete fifty, but something. I really lost momentum. The whole process started feeling really ridiculous and I lost all desire to say hi to people that failed to make eye contact with me. That really cut down on the numbers. I'm going to start reading week two now, though, and try to get ten more his when I go out tonight.

I realize I'm talking to myself, but whatever. These are good excercises (I think).

--osg

 

[msg]

time to set things right

ok, went to a wedding on saturday night and a few of my closest friends had flown in from overseas and interstate... we had spent several days hanging out with each other and i was doing the usual thing approaching girls whenever, whatever, not much progress as usual but still feeling good

wedding night and there was one hottie in particular that i was eyeing except one of my best friends was eyeing her too, so we spent the night trying to out game each other, he's naturally ****y and funny, always has been, i think his natural conversation skills won over my routines and value demonstrations, he won her and i lost, i know why i lost her too, i should have thrown in a venue change with a time constraint and kiss closed her in an isolated location but i chickened out... too many f'ing years of social programming... towards the end she left, saying good bye to my friends but ignoring me and then leaving, had one last chance so i approached her as she was getting into the car for a goodbye hug, had whipped out my camera phone hoping to do a number close by asking for her email, so i could send her the photo later but it was a new phone and the damn thing didn't work in the dark! f**k, her parents were waiting in the car and i had already held them up for about 10 mins, so she said doesn't matter and left

anyways all my friends either made out or had collected numbers that night and i had jack to show for my effort, i've been experiencing so much phone flaking lately that i have been too paranoid to get a number without a venue change and kiss close

couldn't sleep sunday night, was still thinking about how much of a chump i was, got up at about 4am thinking maybe i could do a websearch and find her number, how f'ing lame is that? ended up signing up to peoplesearch.com thinking i could get her number from there, paid $40, what an f'ing rip off, they make it look like they have what you want, then you pay for it and all they give you is a bunch of weblinks that i could have found myself for free, i couldn't get her number or email so i went through my list of numbers to try and find some addresses but i didn't get anything, f'k, what a **** week

anyways i found out today that my friend ended up going out on a date with her the following night before leaving town, no wonder i was feeling so s**t that night...

funny i remember feeling like this 5 years ago, with something similar happening... the other guy always gets the girl, even after one year of trying to improve myself, when the moment came to rise to the challenge i chickened out, it's like all the hard work has amounted to zero, and i have no one to blame but myself, all i had to do was take it up a notch and i would have had her, it was a painful lesson but what i learnt is don't hesitate, go in for the close as early as possible and get the f''ing number

anyways, instead of paying for therapy, i've decided to get rid of all of my weaknesses one by one by committing to this boot camp, one of the skills i really want to develop is the ability to deal with other alphas so i have decided to add my own twist to this exercise

i noticed that when i'm at a gathering and things are a little boring, when i start going around and hi 5ing people things start to become more interesting, or at least i think so anyways, plus this is a great way to disarm a mixed set by hi 5ing and chatting with the men in the group

so for this week i have decided to approach 50 people, smile, get eye contact, say hi and then raise my hand to give them a hi 5

 

[DDevil]

Week 1 Day 1

About myself . I'm 17 , senior in highschool , live in a small town , only had one GF that lasted 3 weeks, in good shape and getting better , average looking but pale , low confidence and insecure , i'm known for being unsocialtable (which i'm going to fix even if I have no interest in conversations). But I'm tuff and very very determined.




Today I drove to a super walmart and managed to greet and keep eye contact with 10 people. Only one of them was a girl my age though.

Then when I was leaving I decided to stop by the cingular store to look interested in buying a phone and greeted 2 more people .

I talked to the sales represenative who was in her 20's and she seemed pretty irritated and she explained about the plans and phones and I asked ?'s . I kept eye contact but she would not look away at all so I would look at the phones and other cutomers coming in. What do you do if they just keep looking in your eye constantly and not look away?

The eye contact thing is difficult to get used to becuase I'm so used to not doing that. I did notice alot of people looking away or just not looking back at all though.

I kinda hoped I would of got rejected in some way.

When I greeted that one girl she smiled back and said hi. That felt pretty good. I still have to go to the gym and work so I will update later on today.

12/50 day 1

 

[kulowiper]

Nice, check this thread also
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=86985

 

[THIAGO BRAZIL II]

WEEK ONE DAY 3

Yesterday went to a club, an alternative club, so chicks there are weird and there are several gays around. But the music is pretty cool and I like going there to dance some fine eletronic tunes. Its great fun! And this is the trick.
I stood in the dance floor and the musics were not so good, I was just hanging around looking. Then the music began to rock! And I started dancing and when I looked around ALL THE CHICKS in a 3 meter range were looking at me!

Simple.

later on
I was feeling confident and looked at ppl in the eye (except those gays freak)

it was a good night.

good results so far! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

 

[Ziggy]

2nd day: I got 6 hi's today. A few of them I started short conversations with. At first it was a bit hard but it keeps getting easier, it's also been getting easier to maintain eye contact.

 

[Monkey717]

Week 1 Day 0

This is my first time posting on a DJ forum. Actually its my first time posting anything on a forum period. I have read a lot of the DJ material and it hooked my interest. I've decided to embark on the DJBC adventure starting tommrow morning.

I am definitely an AFC with moderate sucess with women. I want control over all of this, and to feel like I have this part of my life handled.

Feel free to give suggestions.

Good luck to everyone giving this a shot.

 

[blankman]

I've just completed my first week of boot camp

Hi, I already completed my first week of boot camp but and it felt kind of akward saying hi to strangers. Some folks were receptive while others were not so receptive. Well, I'm moving on to week 2 and I'm just hoping for the best outcome.

 

[Demon Wolf]

Week 1 Day 1

I am tryin to be more sociable. I used to be extremely anti-social due to child hood trauma. Pretty much any social advance towards me I terminated with extreme prejudice.

I have already done the day 1 exercises making eye contact and smiling at people. I smilled at this cute red head at the gym and got a big smile back which felt nice.

I am a 21yr old jr in college.

 

[ifireworks]

Reply

Interesting, I pretty much skip this step because i have done approaching anxiety and have no fear of rejection.

My result are:
- Eye contact, sometimes they just walk pass you or stop for a moment and look away.
- When i say hi to random stranger, they normally say hi back

 

[aussiegoat55]

I did not keep count, probably less than 50 but I get the principle. Continued to work on maintaining eye contact with teachers, friends, strangers and the ladies. Did not take some opportunities to say hi to a few strangers.

A shabby, crooked looking man named Wayne approached me as I went to the dry cleaners trying to get me to sign up for a program, he put out his hand and I shook it. Now normally I would have said a quiet "hi" but I was proud that I was loud, friendly, in control of the situation and myself. I said "Hey Wayne, hows it goin?" Listened politley, said I could not sign up due to prior committments, he then said could I make a donation, I refused, but I discovered a new way of looking at the situation. When they ask for cash donation say "How else can I help/contribute, besides giving money."

I shaking hands with a lot more people, initiating the hi, smiling, saying good morning/afternoon, and talking to strangers. Proud that progress is being made.

I will continue to incorporate eye contact and greetings in my day to day routine. I need to work on raising the volume of my voice, speak slower, and I need to enunciate my words so people can hear me more clearly, I noticed a lot of people say "what" to me.

Alright, week 2, here I go.

 

[Dr. IzzyG]

Some reflections of week 1

I've learned a lot this week. I have to admit that I was pretty scared while beginning the first exercises. I have developed stronger eye contact, but when I said hi to people in the beginning, I would get weird looks from them. It was all due to bad timing. The key is eye contact AND a great smile. When I smiled it almost forced people to automatically say hi to me. Two girls even stopped for a few moments as if they were thinking "Do I know this guy". I made sure I smiled confidently. You see, I just wasn't doing this before. I would put on a "weak" smile, and I would get weak responses. I remember something from an ebook I read: people mirror the emotions you put off. So if you are insecure, then the recipient on the other end will also have some feeling of insecurity. I was struggling at first and I made 17 by day 6. I was worried about the whole thing because I still didn't feel confident. Just when I was about to call it off, I remember a post about laziness. The words "Do you really try, I mean, do you REALLY try??" kept popping in my head. In the beginning, I causally found people to say hi to, but today I just wouldn't let that happen. I went to the library first, then the bookstore, the gym, and even the local grocery store.From the grocery store, I intentionally took the long way home to find more girls to make EC and get hi's. Now as I walk around, I am scouting to find people to say hi to. It isn't easy either - you really have to SCOUT because most people walk with their heads down, wear sunglasses, or have their freaking ipods on. The key I learned is this: even if they're looking away, just look at them anyway and smile brightly - if they happen to catch it then they will probably respond. In a way I got a kick out of it - every one is so fVcking afraid of people that they flinch when a stranger gives a friendly greeting - I had to actually contain myself from laughing after some hi's because the responses were hilarious! I ended up getting 33 hi's and ECs today - so I have a few more to catch up on tomorrow. I really think I'm starting to actually get this now. Before I never fully did, and that's because I never acted.

 

[TRA]

1st day

So I've decided to change my life like everyone else here. I'm exited about the first week. Usually I'll make eye contact with someone and look away all of a sudden. I guess because of a lack of confidence, or not knowing what to do next. Hopefully things change by the end of the week.

 

[TRA]

day 2

today was rough. I didn't have the success I had expected. I didn't have the time to spend an hour at the mall or a park or anything. I did work on the EC and hi's where ever I went though. I got a couple smiles at the gym and a hi. I think the gym can be a strange place to practice, people get really focused when they're lifting, and don't want to pay attention to anything else.

On my lunch break I went across the street to the strip mall. I was determined to get the hi's. I got 3. I noticed that when you try to make EC most people look away, or look down as you're walking by them. I then went into a clothing store. I figured I could at least practice on the employees. After all it's their job to greet people. I took a couple laps around the store. I must have passed at least 10 employees, and not one of them acknowledged me. hopefully the next few days will be better

 

[TRA]

day 3 and 4

Day 3 was a good day. I got about 10-15 hi's and worked on the EC. I did manage to close last night.

Day 4
I partied all night last night so today was a bit rough socially. I had to walk around with sunglasses all day. Lets see what the night brings.

 

[TRA]

Overall I'd have to say I had a good week. I worked on the eye contact. I think I got close to 50 hi's. I feel a bit more comfortable approaching people. I did manage to hook up with one girl this week, and number closed another one.

 

[farlenrejorano]

Week 1 - Day 1

After reading all the articles, I prepared myself for the first day.
I've chosen to go for a walk in a avenue with a cooper track where there are always many people walking or running. This avenue is 8 blocks away from my home and I decided to go walking, expecting to get some Hi's in the way.

When I made the first three EC I noted that it wouldn't be easy like I was thinking. People rarely made EC with me, and when it happened, they looked at me and away very quickly. I wasn't having time to say Hi by the time they were already looking away. By the time I was beginning to get nervous, I saw a bored vigilant and said Hi to him. He reacted nicely to it and answered. Well, 49 to go...

Then I reached the avenue and started to walk, scouting for people to say Hi to. I had the same problem. People would look at me for a short moment, but then I would freeze and the moment was gone. I walked for about 1 km without any progress but then I saw another vigilant, this time with a dog. I looked at the dog, then at him and said Hi. He answered nicely too and I continued my way.

The avenue ends in a park, so walked around the park and saw an old lady, probably waiting for the bus. I went near and made EC with her. Her face was like "WTF is goin on?" but she answered nicely when I said Hi too.

I was still saying Hi in a very low voice, I still felt kinda insecure. I walked the entire avenue twice in both directions and when I felt my legs were very tired, I decided to go home and to continue tomorrow. I made plenty of EC but I only counted the Hi's and by that time I had said 5 sucessful.

In my way back home, I went to the supermarket to buy something to drink. There, I made EC with an old lady and she asked me if I worked there (kinda funny because I definitely didn't look like that). I said no and asked if she was needing something. She asked for a product but I didn't know where she could find it. Then I bought some Pepsi, said Hi to the girl in the exit and went home.

I still have 3-4 days left this week, as I started to read the articles last Sunday. I hope tomorrow things will get easy.

 

[farlenrejorano]

Week 1 - Day 2

Went to the same avenue that I have gone yesterday...I started well greeting some vigilants in the way but soon I began to hesitate just like yesterday. I found more difficult to say Hi to people walking in the street, most because I know they don't expect me to greet them.

It was nice when I made EC with an old man in the cooper track and he nod his head, greeting me. I said "Good Afternoon!" and went on my way. Got ignored by three people but wasn't really affected by that.

By now, I have 17 Hi's. Tomorrow, I'm gonna sarge in the morning. Besides it's still hard to get the Hi's, I feel I'm getting better.