Another update on the "need advice" topic from below!

[PTC]

Interesting thing just happened. As you all know I bought a four bedroom house back in April and I have decided to sell it. One, because she lives about 2 miles from me and two I bought it when the intentions on all of us moving in together.
So the realtor shows up, which is a good friend of mine whom I use for all my reality issues. One thing is that he is best friends with her ex, the one I caught her with, and her. And he's known her for a long time and knows the whole situation of all the cr ap we've been going through.
So she gets brought up of course and he tells me, "You know what PTC, I love her and we're great friends but her main problem is that she doesn't know what she wants. And she knows that you and her EX will always be there for her when she decides on what she wants to do." He told me that I need to quit being that person on stand by for her. And I realized that thats excactly what I have become, a stand-by. Jesus,...I am an idiot!! :cuss:

I feel better already....

 

[PTC]

I have $10 here that says he bottles out within a week if he even pulls the plug, any takers?

:crackup:

Nope, I'm going to respect my fellow Don Juanians and follow the advice they have given. Especially you Rollo, and you joekerr31 FINALLY!!!

So put your money away!

That is why I came here because I know you guys don't hold SH!T back!! And I appreciate every word.

Man I'm getting too old for this sh!t !!!!

 

[Victory Unlimited]

:crackup:
Man I'm getting too old for this sh!t !!!!

Glad to hear it...There's hope for ANY guy who still retains enough of his sense of humor to spout off an old LETHAL WEAPON line.

 

[decades]

Wrong sir. We are all EXACTLY like you, which is why we so are so disgusted and adamant about this. Sh!t like this goes up our spines because we've all done the same thing, with the same results, and it's like watching a slow train wreck for us because we've all seen how it ends ourselves. I don't spout off platitudes here on a daily basis because I did everything right, but rather because I did everything wrong.

I have $10 here that says he bottles out within a week if he even pulls the plug, any takers?

What troubles me is he seems to have no plan for "after" he tells her. He has told her many many times that it's over. Yet here we are. The difficult part for him is staying away once he has ended things. He's been given loads of advice, links, and tips yet he has not acknowledged having investigated any of it. His biggest battle is going to be with himself Not her.

 

[PTC]

What troubles me is he seems to have no plan for "after" he tells her. He has told her many many times that it's over. Yet here we are. The difficult part for him is staying away once he has ended things. He's been given loads of advice, links, and tips yet he has not acknowledged having investigated any of it. His biggest battle is going to be with himself NOT her.

I do actually have a plan somewhat figured out. I'm just going to try and stay busy with friends and my daughter and just keep focusing on the negatives of this relationsh!t. I even got my doctor to call me a script of Remeron so I can sleep at night. That has been the worst part of this deal is the lack of sleep! Waking up two hours after you go to sleep and just laying there sucks!!

I think that has been the cause of my weakness to going back to her because I have focused too much on the good times and not all the times she has sh!t on me!

I know it's not going to be easy but I am done with her. I have humiliated myself with my friends, my family and all of you on this board by saying I was done before and ended up back with her. But like someone in a previous reply said, " You don't hurt the ones you truly love" and she has hurt me for the last time!!

Tomorrow will be a new day!! :woo:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgkYA1l6LrQ

I still have the $10 bill,...

 

[PTC]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgkYA1l6LrQ

I still have the $10 bill,...

Hahaha,...very funny.

Well,....I DID IT!!! I told her I was done and that she had hurt me for the last time. I told her she didnt know what she wanted in life. She told me, "I can't believe as long as I waited at the beginning of this relationship for you that your not going to wait for me!" I said wait for what? For you to make up your mind who you want to be with. She said" If I wanted to be with him(her ex) I could go over there right now and he would take me back" I told her that was her problem right there, she always has to have an outlet and that I was no longer one of them.I then told her she never really loved me cause you dont go jump in bed with your ex and love somebody else at the same time. The conversation went on for about 25 minutes and I finally told her i was done talking to her and told her never to contact me again. She told me, "Fvck you, I hate you!" and left. I'm sure I haven't heard the last of her.

Now for the healing part and for me to get on with my life.

 

[Interceptor]

She told me, "Fvck you, I hate you!"

Hey! C'mon now...where's the Love?!!!!!



:crackup:

Read Victory Unlimited's reply and burn this one in your mind.

Yeah, she sure Loves you,dude.

Yeah..sure she does....

 

[joekerr31]

this chic doesnt love anyone. i doubt she loves even her own kids.

people like to use the word 'love' when its convenient.

when you truly love someone you dont go 180 degrees the other way to "f*ck you i hate you".

anyway, her reaction was predictable. when she saw that you were not going to be compromising, that you wanted nothing to do with her, the REAL her came out - when she doesn't get what SHE wants she wishes nothing but badness to you (ie. f*ck you i hate you).

you totally made hte right call in this scenario.

oh another thing. her saying she can get back with her ex if she wanted was an OVERT threat. she was attempting to scare you in to submission. basically the equivalent of punching you in the face and telling you to give her your lunch money.

you should be damn happy you are cutting loose of this b*tch, she was NOTHING but endless headaches.

 

[Metro3pilot]

I hate you!" and left. I'm sure I haven't heard the last of her

if he were not hoping she would come back he would have said ..bye bye I'm glad she's gone ..I'm done ! ! !

I won't make that that bet ROLLO ! ! ! ! !

:nono:

 

[PTC]

this chic doesnt love anyone. i doubt she loves even her own kids.

people like to use the word 'love' when its convenient.

when you truly love someone you dont go 180 degrees the other way to "f*ck you i hate you".

anyway, her reaction was predictable. when she saw that you were not going to be compromising, that you wanted nothing to do with her, the REAL her came out - when she doesn't get what SHE wants she wishes nothing but badness to you (ie. f*ck you i hate you).

you totally made hte right call in this scenario.

oh another thing. her saying she can get back with her ex if she wanted was an OVERT threat. she was attempting to scare you in to submission. basically the equivalent of punching you in the face and telling you to give her your lunch money.

you should be damn happy you are cutting loose of this b*tch, she was NOTHING but endless headaches.

I just hope she leaves me alone

 

[joekerr31]

I just hope she leaves me alone

if she doesnt warn her that if she doesnt stop contacting you, you will have to get a restraining order.

even psychos will stop when you threaten to bring the law in to the picture.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Now for the healing part and for me to get on with my life.

So, what are you going to do? Hopefully not sit and wallow waiting for time to magically heal those wounds.

 

[KontrollerX]

Brilliant reply joekerr.

Anyway her parting words to you were no big surprise in BPD land.

I believe there is even a book out about them titled...

"I hate you, don't leave me."

 

[PTC]

So, what are you going to do? Hopefully not sit and wallow waiting for time to magically heal those wounds.

Actually I already feel better,...but i know,....there will be some downer days but When those come I'll just keep those thoughts about how she sh!t on me in the back of my mind.

 

[STR8UP]

The conversation went on for about 25 minutes and I finally told her i was done talking to her and told her never to contact me again. She told me, "Fvck you, I hate you!" and left. I'm sure I haven't heard the last of her.

Wow, what a shocker.

As soon as the tables turn and she realizes she can't suck any more of your life force out of you, the horns come out.

This might not be "typical" female behavior, but it certainly isn't rare.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...This might not be "typical" female behavior, but it certainly isn't rare.

:yes: True, true...

 

[decades]

I just hope she leaves me alone

PTC, you're very passive. You have the power to disengage. You have the power to cut her out of your life with finality. But i don't hear that from you. Instead I hear "I hope". That's not gonna get it done. Just like before, she WILL Contact you. It's a guarantee. But you don't have to engage like you have in the past. It's your deal man. You have it in your power to dissapear, vanish, withdraw, disengage, ignore. I am not hearing that from you, and that's scary. This is why I said where is your plan? Have you gone to any of these sites to get some insights in how to disengage from this chaos and protect yourself? Do you know what a "hoover" is?

You have to get ACTIVE. Right now, I see Passivity and the "hope" she leaves you alone. She won't. Change your numbers. Delete your email accounts. Don't answer the door if she knocks. Take action to make sure you make it this time. You can't be the same old PTC if you want to get away.

 

[joekerr31]

she will attempt to get the two of you conversing again so that when she pulls out the REALLY crazy behavior she can point to a string of conversations you've had as proof that her interaction with you was not unwelcomed.

you have to lay down the law and tell her to never call you again. then, if she calls again, you need to tell her that if she doesnt stop you will have to get a restraining order against her.

that should put her in her place.

 

[PTC]

She sent me another e-mail last night that said "Amazing! U did meet up with XXXX. Ur the liar"

Labor day weekend I went to dallas for 3 days and she knew i was going. And then she told me how convenient it was that i was going there because I have a female friend that lives over there. The other day when I took her to the airport she asked me if I had met up with XXXX and I told her no but that i did try and call her. The funny thing about my friend is that she is just a friend which she knows about and i've told her so. Some girls can't understand a guy having a girl/friend. Of course she sends me that last night saying i met up with her. I guess she's scraping the bottom of the bucket to try and make herself feel better.

Oh and I did not reply to her!