An Intoduction and my story

[MtnMan]

Field Report: I got hit up by a cute 25 yo petite blond law student on match.com yesterday, set up a meet up with her in a couple quick messages. I arrive in town, meet up with her on the street.

She turns out to be very cute but very much a typical band dork type girl. We go to into a local bar that is filled with regulars, she informs me she cannot drink due to migrane meds. I get a beer, she gets a diet coke. We play two rounds of pool, some flirting, some kino.

I ask her about her violin playing skills. I let her talk about it and act really interested. Eventually she is like "i can play for you if you like, my apt is 5 mins from here".

I grab her hand and head to her apartment. She plays me some violin, i kino her up a bit, she tries to show me how to play. I suggest we watch some tv, and continue to escalate. Carry her to her room, bang. Stayed the night, fooled around a bunch this morning and headed home. Fun night. I can honestly say that was my first ever sober SNL, apparently band chicks need c0ck too.

This is exactly what I needed to shake my oneitis that was coming on with my previous post. I still am interested in oneitis girl, but have not contacted her yet. This hook up helped clear my thoughts perfectly.

Many thanks to all the things I have picked up on since joining this forum. I am already doing better than I ever have in my life with women, and learning so much.

In other news, a friend of mine has moved back into town and he has seriously excellent natural game. He is game aware, and I think we are going to go out and meet women together. He knows my strengths and weaknesses and I think having someone to push me in real life is going to be very helpful.

 

[Outlaw_]

Congrats on the lay bro. It's nothing like a lay to shake that oneitis.

 

[MtnMan]

Congrats on the lay bro. It's nothing like a lay to shake that oneitis.

thanks man, it hasn't shaken it completely, I still find myself debating if I should call her or not. But it surely helped, and I think the girl from yesterday could turn into a plate.

Got a cute 21yo redhead hitting me up to get drinks this week, may as well see if i can keep the streak going. :rockon:

 

[MtnMan]

I just got a text from the girl from the other night wanting to get dinner this weekend, looks like I have a new plate in rotation!

Even though I go through so many ups and downs, I am very pleased with my progress since the beginning of this year. This is an area of my life that I never mastered, and it feels great to be working towards it.

 

[MtnMan]

I'm going to keep updating this, not sure if anyone is following along, but its good for me to look back and read through it once in a while.
Looks like I was able to spin two plates for a millisecond,
but #1 appears to have dropped.

Two flakey responses to my contact, and she used to be very responsive. She used to initiate regularly, and never does now. So I am going to back off, and assume its done. Shame because I could see it going further with this girl, which may be PRECISELY what caused her IL to drop.

I keep reminding myself, I got several bangs and some fun times out of it, it should be considered a WIN not a loss.

We call this ONEITIS, and it started to get me hard with this girl after seeing/banging her only 4 times. The sex wasn't even anything special, but the feeling was terrible. It still stings a bit.

Take heed my fellow newbs who may not have fully internalized the value of spinning plates! I think at this stage it is essential that you attempt to date multiple women. A stroke of luck brought a new plate into my life just as plate #1 was dropping and it has saved me from falling victim to oneitis. I have a date with her tonight, and am working on a second girl.

Ideally, I will be able to get to the point where all plates can drop and I still feel fine because I know I can get another girl, but in the mean time spinning plates has several advantages that have become painfully clear to me recently

1)you get the chance to compare different types of girls simultaneously and pick out what traits you really like and what you dont.

2)the more women you date, the better chances are that you can have a consistent supply of sex. Like it or not, I am happier in general if I get laid regularly.

3)the more women you have in your life, the better you will be with women. Your desperation is a stinky cologne and women can smell that $hit from a mile away. If you have backup options, you are much less desperate and thus more successful.

4) its fun to actually see the teachings of rollo and this forum in practice. Its one thing to read about it, but before I was really doing much dating, I though; "i can just casually date one girl at a time and that is good enough"

WRONG!: that does not work for me, its far to easy for oneitis to creep in in that situation, and that basically kills the chances with your 'one' girl anyways.

For those getting started (like me) you must pursue multiple women. You must. I can't see any other way around it.

 

[JooJooBean]

Thanks for updating. I needed to read stuff like this. The neediness factor is what confuses me. I always think that I'm not needy, or don't notice. Reading your stuff gives me insight. Keep strong.

 

[MtnMan]

I am going to call my plate #1 officially dropped. Not a big deal, I was bummed for a couple weeks about it, but good now.

I have been seeing plate #2 for a couple weeks (violin girl). I'm not sure if she and I would have long term compatibility or not. We come from COMPLETELY different backgrounds and live two COMPLETELY different lifestyles. Also, she is only in the state for another month, before returning to VA for school.

But let me tell you, this girl gives me hope that there are relatively unspoiled quality American girls out there. She is a cute, petite blond, excellent manners, intelligent, very talented musically, going to law school, caring, DOES NOT OWN OR WANT A SMART PHONE!!!! She can cook, loves sex, sucks c0ck, gives me backrubs, she respects my space when she is there, wants to split the bill anytime we go out or go to the store, highly conscious about birth control.

Have a date with a 21 y.o. redhead tomorrow, so hopefully I can get two plates back in rotation.

It must be mating season up here in VT, because I have been getting hit up harder than ever online. I don't love getting plates from online, it feels like cheating. However, when I have a couple girls a day opening me, its hard to resist that source.

That is all, over and out!

 

[MtnMan]

in true female irony, I get a text last night from plate #1. I had sent her a text a week ago suggesting we get drinks in her town this week, and I never heard anything.

She was in the middle of moving/new job and I also felt that her interest had dropped so I just assumed the number was dead.

She texts me
"i suck"
"im sorry I'm so self involved"

WTF? Not sure how to respond to that.

 

[cordoncordon]

You don't respond.

 

[MtnMan]

You don't respond.

are you suggesting dropping this woman forever? I had considered her dropped unless she reached out, which I guess this sort of counts.

 

[cordoncordon]

are you suggesting dropping this woman forever? I had considered her dropped unless she reached out, which I guess this sort of counts.

No not forever. But don't lose any sleep over her either. Just play it by ear. But until she calls or texts saying "Lets meet at xxx at xxxx time" or "Im coming over"? There really is no need for you to respond. All she wanted from that text was validation that you are still on the hook. When you don't respond and she thinks you might have gotten away? Then she might dive in the water trying to snag you again. And then you can harpoon her with your penor.

 

[MtnMan]

No not forever. But don't lose any sleep over her either. Just play it by ear. But until she calls or texts saying "Lets meet at xxx at xxxx time" or "Im coming over"? There really is no need for you to respond. All she wanted from that text was validation that you are still on the hook. When you don't respond and she thinks you might have gotten away? Then she might dive in the water trying to snag you again. And then you can harpoon her with your penor.

I had responded to the text stating "i suck" that plate #1 sent with

"so is that xxxx-ese for saying you want to hang out, or just a general confession..."

I got a text from her a couple days later saying:
"both??"
"I am working every day this week, but I will keep you posted on my availability"

I responded "mmkay" and have not heard since.

Crazy womens, trying to keep me on the hook. And its working.


In other news, plate #2 is still going strong. Spent a bunch of time with her this weekend, went hiking, banged a bunch of times, played some excellent music (me guitar, her fiddle)

Problem is, I am more into plate #1 and she is still on my mind. Lame.

 

[cordoncordon]

I had responded to the text stating "i suck" that plate #1 sent with

"so is that xxxx-ese for saying you want to hang out, or just a general confession..."

I got a text from her a couple days later saying:
"both??"
"I am working every day this week, but I will keep you posted on my availability"

I responded "mmkay" and have not heard since.

Crazy womens, trying to keep me on the hook. And its working.


In other news, plate #2 is still going strong. Spent a bunch of time with her this weekend, went hiking, banged a bunch of times, played some excellent music (me guitar, her fiddle)

Problem is, I am more into plate #1 and she is still on my mind. Lame.

Well you can't change who you feel something for. Though I have a feeling that you are 'thinking' you feel more for plate #1 only because A) you just recently were involved with her and B) she more or less is the one in control and the one who is dictating things as far as how things are going. I bet if you had never met plate #1 that your perceived feelings for plate #2 would be much much stronger.

Your best bet at this juncture is to totally delete all contact info for plate #1. Stop thinking about her or hoping she calls. She has you wrapped around her finger and she knows it. Not a good situation for you. Date #2 along with others as well and see if your feelings for #2 grow. If a couple of months go by and nothing changes? Then I would stop wasting your time with her.

 

[MtnMan]

Well you can't change who you feel something for. Though I have a feeling that you are 'thinking' you feel more for plate #1 only because A) you just recently were involved with her and B) she more or less is the one in control and the one who is dictating things as far as how things are going. I bet if you had never met plate #1 that your perceived feelings for plate #2 would be much much stronger.

Your best bet at this juncture is to totally delete all contact info for plate #1. Stop thinking about her or hoping she calls. She has you wrapped around her finger and she knows it. Not a good situation for you. Date #2 along with others as well and see if your feelings for #2 grow. If a couple of months go by and nothing changes? Then I would stop wasting your time with her.

There are a couple things at play here, but I think you make an excellent point. Plate one is what you could call a firecracker. She is feisty, firey, and quirky. These things seem to draw me in. I would say she has excellent girl game.

When comparing pictures, plate #2 probably is prettier, has a slightly better body etc, but I have a harder boner for plate #1.

I think I am chemically highly attracted to plate #1, and not so much with plate #2. I noticed that I don't feel a spark with plate #2 when I kiss her. Its like her taste/chemistry is off in comparison to mine. When I kiss plate #1, it feels like all systems are go, it tastes right, feels right.

Also I think my attraction for plate #1 partially stems from the fact that she was a successful pull from a bar, which I am quite proud of since I have rarely ever done that.

Plate #2 honestly seems like decent LTR material. She is super caring, intelligent, soft spoken, really digs me for my manly qualities, does not **** test. She is a great girl, and I have fun with her, but I still yearn for plate #1.

Its all a moot point anyways, because I cannot pursue plate #1 because that will just drive the last nail in the coffin, and I doubt she is going to get serious about getting together with me. Its also a moot point because plate #2 is only in the state for another few weeks before returning to school, and presumably never to return.

The situation bums me out, I should be recruiting new plates, but I am getting a bit tired and probably need to let myself have a lull with the women after both of these plates drop. I have a car project I want to get built before winter, and I should be concentrating on that.

The ups and downs are still hard for me, I get emotionally invested in everything I do. I suppose I am still getting better, and when I look back 6 months, I should smack myself for complaining about this situation. Ohhh, poor baby, I only currently have one girl who wants to have sex with me constantly then give me back massages until I fall asleep. BOOO****INGHOO.

 

[MOTU]

Mtnman, don't beat yourself up. Go back and read your initial posts and then gaze at the long road between where you were then and where you are now. You may never reach the level of detachment that you want; but I am sure you can learn to keep the disappointment from creating sadness that leads to unhappiness. Fvck I sound like Dr Phil lol.

I know what you mean about being proud of your bar pull. I am working on my first bar pull now and she is hotter, sexier and more classy than any of my plates. So I am trying to play solid game without overthinking, which almost seems like an oxymoron. But if she crashes off the table, I know there are lots more bars and lots more broads so no worries.

 

[dasein]

Man you are kicking ass. Maybe your indifference to plate 2 is due to her availability? Give it a chance and maybe the same feelings you had for 1 can grow, just without the oneitis. That would be ideal. Good luck.

 

[MtnMan]

You guys are right, I've made good progress in the last 6 months. Thanks for that. Turns out I can get girls if need be, I have not gone a week without sex in several months. Never when I was single before did I manage to have consistent sex like this. I think that was the first hurdle that I needed to clear. Now I need to get myself into a mental state where I don’t get too emotionally invested in any one thing. That seems quite a bit harder for me, but it is coming with experience.

Plate #2 emailed yesterday and asked if she could come over and bring dinner. Awesome, she brought my favorite food from a local place and drove an hour to deliver it. It is a good experience to have a high interest girl, makes it seem silly to chase girls who are not as interested. But as a human, I want what I can’t have. I can feel the need for a weekend of camping in the mountains with just my dogs to try and get my head straight. I need to meditate on these thoughts and really let them sink in. Ultimately I think a man deserves a woman who appreciates him. I don't ever want to be one of those shlubs who panders to his woman in hopes of a morsel of sex as a reward.

Since I posted yesterday that I wanted to take a break from plates, I get hit up by 4 or 5 interesting girls online. It feels like I would be missing something by blowing them off, I’m sure out of the 5 I could pick up at least one plate if I play my cards right.

I got to thank the community here again. I would still be floundering wondering why I can’t seem to get a girl had I not started reading and applying things I find here. I find it funny that the best (and far away, most effective) advice for dating/women that I have ever gotten is from a community of strangers on the internet! Thanks dudes.

As a random note to self, things that I need to work on include:
-cold approaching (still a pretty big pvssy about this)
-get less emotionally involved in new relationships with women
-become more outcome independent

 

[dasein]

LOL I'm starting to get a case of oneitis for #2 myself.

 

[MtnMan]

LOL I'm starting to get a case of oneitis for #2 myself.

hahah!

she is a decent girl for sure. Not perfect, but a good women from the looks of it.
The only thing that is off is the fact that I cannot get her to orgasm. I have always been able to make girls cvm in the past. Tried oral, shes not really into it, tried every sexual technique I can, gotten her close, but no cigar.
I gave up and just cave maned her (which she loves), but cant get her to have the big-o.

Not too worried since she always wants to bang at night and again in the morning, and is super lovey dovey afterwords. She seems to get more pleasure from me having pleasure and not really that interested in her own.

 

[pdx1138]

Some women have issues, likely not you, but you can get her to climax.

Get a small pocket rocket vibrator...use it on her klit while you bang her.

always worked for me.