An Intoduction and my story

pdx1138

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I kept bagin my ex for a solid year as a FB before I lost interest and cut ties.

She was seeing someone a few times a year out of state. I actually got bored of bagin her after that year
knowing it was going nowhere and would never be as it was when we first met.

I wanted something real and that just wasn't going to happen with her at that point.
It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I'm glad I did and the girl
I'm with now is really great.
 

MtnMan

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pdx1138 said:
I kept bagin my ex for a solid year as a FB before I lost interest and cut ties.

She was seeing someone a few times a year out of state. I actually got bored of bagin her after that year
knowing it was going nowhere and would never be as it was when we first met.

I wanted something real and that just wasn't going to happen with her at that point.
It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I'm glad I did and the girl
I'm with now is really great.
yea, i know this situation isn't viable for any real length of time. Its pretty much insane sex right now and doing a bunch of stuff we didn't really do before. So its fun, but at some point it will either:
1) turn into some kind of relationship, or
2) someone is going to get sick of it or
3) someone is going to be dating someone else.

Seems like it should feel more wrong, but it doesn't yet.
 

MtnMan

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Demodulate said:
greetings Vermonster..

read this..

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1qb7mi/she_doesnt_love_you/


tl:dr - "She doesn't love you, she only loves her attraction to you."
excellent read. I credit this change in my attitude for her insatiable attraction to me now. I sort of lost my edge over the course of the relationship. Since we broke, I got another motorcycle, started lifting again, skiing, going out to see shows/comedians, dressing better etc.

"What does this mean for you? Well, its quite simply really, maintain attraction."
I let the attraction die, away goes the woman. I work on what made me attractive in the first place....back comes the woman, and with a fury. So simple, its almost funny.
 

LiveFreeX

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Who else posted about horses being the biggest red flag of fvcked up women... maybe it was on roosh or something. Man, if you like Latinas go to the source, Mexico has tons of nice, hot ones that would be happy to sit you down to a fantastic dinner. I use to live in Puerto Vallarta and had chicks coming out my rear, one of them who was fairly poor but really hot, cooked me dinner and it was an absolute knockout. Should've went with her instead of the rich broad... oh well you live and learn. You can stay in Mexico for like 300 bucks a month.
 

MtnMan

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LiveFreeX said:
Who else posted about horses being the biggest red flag of fvcked up women... maybe it was on roosh or something. Man, if you like Latinas go to the source, Mexico has tons of nice, hot ones that would be happy to sit you down to a fantastic dinner. I use to live in Puerto Vallarta and had chicks coming out my rear, one of them who was fairly poor but really hot, cooked me dinner and it was an absolute knockout. Should've went with her instead of the rich broad... oh well you live and learn. You can stay in Mexico for like 300 bucks a month.
i am actually heading down the the Dominican in early march for a week. A friend works there so i can stay for free. He knows a bunch of locals, would be fun to meet some Dominican chicks.
 

MtnMan

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Mauser96 said:
So let's have an update!
ok, my current situation:
-my ex got all her animals and stuff out of my place with no drama
-we are now untangled financially as well
-I've been going out, visiting friends, seeing shows and just being much more social than I have been in years, and its been great
-I've been lifting every night, and cross country skiing every day after work, and I can start to see my 6 pack again, and see my upper body looking better. I have always been in shape and active, but my body responds so well to actual disciplined exercise. Its really nice to see results so fast.
-I got an amazing deal on a sweet motorcycle. I used to be really into bikes, raced motocross, always rode a bike. Super excited to have a bike for spring.
-I have been hiking up one of the local ski mountains on my way to work every day and taking a run down. Excellent way to clear the mind before work.

Been on a few dates with chicks from match.com. Working on setting up another for early next week. Not having great success here, but I don't really care either. I can see the results from my self improvement working, and I am more interested in meeting people in real life than with the online thing. I am realizing that there isn't much point to stressing over the dating scene. Working on myself is a lot more fun and this naturally helps with my interactions with women.

As far as my ex goes, I talked about this a bit before a few posts back. I basically went NC on her, and when we did talk I basically shut her out emotionally.
Then there was one day when she was over to get the last of her stuff and I started to be a little bit more friendly with her, kino'd her a little. Long story short we had an epic bangfest. I was really afraid this was going to fully ignite my one-itis, but I think I have kept it under wraps. The situation has turned into regular hang out with wild banging every time. Honestly I don't think either one of us is trying to get back into a relationship at this point. I have really started to like the single life. Getting regular sex has stifled my motivation to go out a bit, so I have to be conscious of that, and not let it slow my progress.

A lot of the problems between the ex and I came from two things

1) I think i let myself go in a way. I lost my 'edge' so to speak and was really focusing on working on my house and property and lost site of some of the things that made me attractive in the first place. She doesn't admit it, but i know she lost her attraction for me. To further back this up, she cant stay away from my c0ck now that I have made a serious change in that department.

2) She made ****ty money, and didnt make the effort to find a better job even though she has excellent references, and is well educated and trained in her field. I felt like i was taking care of her like a kid, and I hated that. I don't ever want to do that again. Interestingly she landed a head microbiologist job this week at one of the best companies in VT making $70k (she was making $30k before).

So there is my update, not really sure what to make of the whole situation, but I am in a good place mentally and physically right now.
 

sodbuster

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Well, she finally made the effort to get a better job after the breakup, not sure if she'd revert to a child if you got back together. You know her better than we do...
 

MtnMan

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sodbuster said:
Well, she finally made the effort to get a better job after the breakup, not sure if she'd revert to a child if you got back together. You know her better than we do...
yea, its tempting to be annoyed with the fact that it took this to get her butt in gear, but there is no point harboring those feelings.

i dont think she would get into that situation again with me or someone else. I have known this girl for a long time, and I can usually tell when she is serious about something.
 

donking

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I think you've made a friend/fb for life with your girl. This is not a bad thing as long as you keep improving yourself. Sometimes you have to push women aside to grow.
 

MtnMan

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I figured I would update this thread.
-I have been consistently working out every week night, seeing results for sure.
-Been going out with my friends regularly, one of my close friends recently also became single, kind of nice to have a wingman to help get my feet wet, but ultimately approaches are almost easier alone. I SUCK so bad at approaching in a bar. I have been working on it in my daily life, and that is helping (grocery store, walking around in town etc).
-Started figuring out how to balance social life with hobby life, which is something I have never been good at. Usually I get too into a project (building a garage, building cars etc) and I loose site of my social life.

All these things are good, and I am feeling pretty good about myself. I am genuinely enjoying the chance to live by myself in my own house, never actually lived alone before. Living alone in a cabin way off in the woods can be tough, but it’s also really rewarding. It just takes a lot of effort to get my required human interaction.

As for my ex and I, well we are still banging regularly. It seems like both of us have made significant personal changes for the better. We haven’t really gone on a date or anything, but she comes over once or twice a week, we make dinner and bang like crazy. The sex is better than it ever was. It was always good before, she is very open and gives great head, but it never has been so uninhibited as it is now. I blame personal growth and competition anxiety for this. I have been dominant in bed and she loves it. I don’t know why I was hesitant to do this before.

I have been really careful with my emotions and how much I let on to her. She has given me a few very minor jealously tests that I think I passed with flying colors. She has admitted to me that every time she sees me the emotions get stronger and stronger, I didn’t really respond to that. I think my frame towards her has been in check.

I have to admit, that I still love this girl, and I know this is dangerous. I am playing with fire here. On one hand I am proud that it has not gotten the best of me, but on the other hand I know that I am playing with fire here. I know she has strong feelings for me too, but I think its easier for women to have those feelings and move on when a better prospect comes into their life.

I have forced myself to continue pursuing other women, and I actually still want to bang other chicks, but I have failed to do so thus far.

And that is where I am at, no matter what comes of this, I am glad the breakup happened. It gave me a chance to step back and realize I was not 100% the man that I can be. I had neglected some of my friendships, and lost my ‘edge’. It’s great that I got the chance to see that, and also realize that no matter how much you think a woman is into you, as soon as she starts thinking her value is above yours, she will be gone. The game is never over, and you never win, but you can lose if you let yourself go!
 

MtnMan

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just wondering what other guys thoughts are, am I insane for banging and hanging with my ex? Do you guys think this is 100% guaranteed disaster in the future?
 

SecondHalf

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MtnMan said:
just wondering what other guys thoughts are, am I insane for banging and hanging with my ex? Do you guys think this is 100% guaranteed disaster in the future?
Yep!

But, what do I know, I'm a cynic.

I suppose if I were to offer you advice, I would ask you to think about a few possible outcomes.

1) You continue to get the bestest humping of your life. Man you just can't wait to drill down really deep in that whenever you know she's coming over. Then ... she just stops coming over, texting, and most importantly, your prospect of further humping is gone. When you go to find out why, there is another man enjoying what you used to. Now when you call her on it "I thought, but ... but ... well, everything was going so good" and she responds like a cold b1tch? What's it going to do to you.
2) You continue until her life is on track where she becomes your "ideal woman". Then she moves on and the next fellow enjoys all you've helped her to attain.
3) You two end up together again, maybe with her even knocked up. Then ... it's just like it was before (she's driving you nuts). Or she walks and you are scratching your head 5 years later.

Regardless what you say, you are emotionally involved. You two share a connection that likely will hurt when it gets severed.

If I'm wrong, and its just a familiar warm slippery place and you wouldn't give a rat's a55 if it ended, then ... lol, I envy you!

Just throwing out some food for thought.

SH
 

Colossus

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MtnMan said:
As for my ex and I, well we are still banging regularly...

I have to admit, that I still love this girl..
She is not your ex.

Having dinner together and crazy sex twice a week is a relationship, no matter what you guys call it.

It may or may not end in disaster, but I guarantee you it wont end well. You are only doing this because you are afraid of cutting the cord completely and being alone, with nothing but your game to rely on.

You broke up with her for a reason. You can end it on your terms or wait until she blindsides you with another man. She is only hanging on for the same reasons as you.
 

MtnMan

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excellent advise, and yes I certainly have a lot of emotion tied up in this and I know its going to suck if any of those outcomes happen, and probably suck worse than it sucked the first time around. Not trying to hide that at all. I guess I was saying that I have avoided getting all AFC about it, been playing it cool. She has said several times how strong she is starting to feel about me, I haven't really had a response to that. I know all to well how a woman can go cold before you have any idea what hit you.
 

MtnMan

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Colossus said:
You broke up with her for a reason. You can end it on your terms or wait until she blindsides you with another man. She is only hanging on for the same reasons as you.
she broke with me, but still likely the same scenario.
 

MtnMan

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I figured I would keep updating this thread, if nothing else, as a diary for myself to keep track of my life and where it has been going in the last few months.

My ex and I had been seeing each other and banging/hanging about once a week. I knew it was going to come to a head in one way or another and it finally did. I think she is starting to get attached and it freaked her out. Going to go NC with the whole situation for now. She is a cool chick, and she has made some serious self improvement, which is a bit surprising. In the future I could consider her for mating potential, but its not going to work out now.

As for myself, I've basically got an entire new wardrobe. Nothing crazy, just clothes that fit my frame much better. I am tall and skinny but in real good shape, and tight fitting t-shirts make me look so much better than a normal large t-shirt. I've been rocking a bit of facial scruff, which seems to have good effects as well. My hair is a bit patchy, and I've tried to keep it fairly well shaven because I thought the patchy doesn't look good as it grows in. I have found that with a real close beard trimmer (#0 guard) I think it actually helps my look some.

I've been working out at home 5 days a week and eating pretty high protein food. It's making a noticeable difference. I am at the point where I need to go to the gym or get a decent set of Olympic weights and a bench. Lifting and nofap combined seems to feel like my t-levels are higher than they were.

I think I've finally got the rest of the red pill swallowed. In the last couple weeks I really started to understand how important approaching/approach anxiety is. Its something I have never worked on, and there is no way I can go through the rest of my life until I make a conscious effort to get better at this.

To start, I have just been more friendly with everyone I encounter on a daily basis. Shooting the **** with strangers whenever I have the excuse to do so. I go into town once or twice a week and meet up with a friend who is going through a similar situation. Saturday I went into town, brought my truck and set up a good bed in the backseat. I went out on the town solo with the express purpose of getting comfy rolling solo and approaching women. I started out at about 7:30, walked around downtown and through the mall. Approached a chick working at one of the stores. She had her DOG behind the counter, so that was an easy opener for sure. I love dogs, and she was cute. Perfect excuse to talk. I know this sounds like nothing, but this was literally my first random day approach ever. Felt good. I did a few more approached throughout the night and it was fun. I'm hooked, I want to get better at this. Its ridiculous that a 30 year old man never learned this skill before, but no time to dwell on the past.

Since I broke with my chick I have played with the OLD scene some, with little success. I retooled my profile a couple times but still not great results. Last week I completely redid my approach. I read through a bunch of threads on here and on roosh and got some good ideas. I took a bunch of shots of myself, chose the best for pictures. I removed a bunch of unneeded crap in my profile, put up the best pics, and one cute pic of my dogs (tons of dog lover chicks in VT). Had a little bit of C&F in my profile, but its very basic. The results have been very positive. Have a couple dates lined up this week (obviously still huge flake potential like any online chicks) but the sheer number of positive replys to my messages has been encouraging. Approaching in person is better for sure, but online seems to be a resource that should also be utilized, I was just using the wrong mindset before.

I can't stress enough how important a good picture is. Many people know this, and now I know it too.
Here are the pictures to compare for an idea.

Here is the first pic that got me pretty dismal results. I look ****ty, but I didn't even realize it at the time.
http://s1103.photobucket.com/user/danapcurtis/media/158713700S_zps420eeeb9.jpeg.html

here is my current pic, its a bit douschey, but it is working 100 times better, and I rock this look regularly.
http://s1103.photobucket.com/user/danapcurtis/media/12_zps2417ff5d.jpg.html

Final thing to report, I took a trip a couple weeks ago to visit my buddy in the Dominican. It was soo much fun. Rode motos all over the country, climbed in the rain forest and I got my Dominican flag. I used to travel in the carribean for work and developed a serious thing for island girls, but never banged because I was in the LTR. This was also the first black chick I have banged, and it was super fun, a great topper to an already awesome trip.

And that's all for now, thanks for reading along, and thanks for the insight and ideas that are shared here on a daily basis. It has helped me more than I could have imagined.

Upwards!
 

Mr.Positive

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MtnMan said:
She had her DOG behind the counter, so that was an easy opener for sure. I love dogs, and she was cute. Perfect excuse to talk. I know this sounds like nothing, but this was literally my first random day approach ever. Felt good. I did a few more approached throughout the night and it was fun. I'm hooked, I want to get better at this. Its ridiculous that a 30 year old man never learned this skill before, but no time to dwell on the past.
MtnMan, very cool thread and cheers from California.

Approaching women (cold approach) can be exciting and even if done regularly a rather funny encounter. Basically, I don't think it's a 'skill' but more of a going after what you want. It helps if you can laugh at yourself.

My last approach I botched up, big time, but if the gal likes you. It doesn't matter.

I was on my sailboat working on deck, and I see this blonde gal motor by in a skiff. She looked cute from a distance. She caught my eye, and I waved, she smiled and waved back. About an hour later, I saw her up in the parking lot of the marina, and approached her. She had a dog that caught my attention, and while petting the dog, I looked up to introduce myself to see this stunning blonde smiling back at me.

I didn't get her number that encounter, and knew if I ran into her again, and didn't get her number I would regret it. A couple weeks later we ran into each other again, and I got her number. I blew it big time when I realized afterwards her number didn't save into my phone. I tracked her down and got it again. Which would seem awkward, but we've been seeing each other since.

I guess the point of that is women know before we even open our mouths if they are interested. If they are not, no "skilled" approach will help. But, if she is interested, you can really screw up and still make forward progress. :)

My advise, just keep trying to meet those gals you find interesting and attractive. To do otherwise, could lead to looking back and thinking you should have done differently. Life is one amazing journey.
 

MtnMan

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excellent post Mr. Positive. This type of thinking and attitude is what attracted me to this site in the first place. Good work with your blonde gal and excellent advise about approaching. I suppose its the same with me, I already know if I am interested or not just after first glance. I suppose its not really skill that I am after, but its more that I am trying to kill off the approach anxiety that holds me back.
 

MtnMan

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Thread Update:
Went on a date last night with an OKC chick. Solid 7.5, short tiny and cute with curly hair. I think I played my online game/date setup game really well, but ended up in the same sort of pattern that other dates have ended up for me. Maybe a little bit of an improvement, but a let down nonetheless.

We meet up at a cool hipster bar, she was there first, I give her a hug, we grab a drink and convo starts. We are sitting close with knees touching and we chat for a while. I feel like the first 15 minutes were good, some light kino.

And then it just gets in this rut, and I have noticed this has happened on other dates with me. The convo went on for 2 hours, and was interesting and fun, but the sexual vibe wasn't there. I felt like this chick is a sexual chick too, she wasn't cold by any means. This crap pisses me off, because I know it is my lack of escalation skills making this happen. I have better luck escalating with random chicks I meet when out or at a party, but have trouble doing it on a date, especially with an online chick. It amazes me that there are dudes out there banging chicks on the first date offline, I am SO SO far away from being able to do that. Not that I NEED a bunch of first date bangs, but I need to not get in this convo rut.

I was really starting to feel on a high lately because I am really looking pretty good. I can see nice results from working out, my wardrode and style is dialed in and I have done a few cold approaches with lots of eye contact and chats with random women. This cut me back down some and showed me I have a LOT of work to do. I am still struggling to get out of the gates here. :cuss: :cuss:
 
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