I figured I would keep updating this thread, if nothing else, as a diary for myself to keep track of my life and where it has been going in the last few months.
My ex and I had been seeing each other and banging/hanging about once a week. I knew it was going to come to a head in one way or another and it finally did. I think she is starting to get attached and it freaked her out. Going to go NC with the whole situation for now. She is a cool chick, and she has made some serious self improvement, which is a bit surprising. In the future I could consider her for mating potential, but its not going to work out now.
As for myself, I've basically got an entire new wardrobe. Nothing crazy, just clothes that fit my frame much better. I am tall and skinny but in real good shape, and tight fitting t-shirts make me look so much better than a normal large t-shirt. I've been rocking a bit of facial scruff, which seems to have good effects as well. My hair is a bit patchy, and I've tried to keep it fairly well shaven because I thought the patchy doesn't look good as it grows in. I have found that with a real close beard trimmer (#0 guard) I think it actually helps my look some.
I've been working out at home 5 days a week and eating pretty high protein food. It's making a noticeable difference. I am at the point where I need to go to the gym or get a decent set of Olympic weights and a bench. Lifting and nofap combined seems to feel like my t-levels are higher than they were.
I think I've finally got the rest of the red pill swallowed. In the last couple weeks I really started to understand how important approaching/approach anxiety is. Its something I have never worked on, and there is no way I can go through the rest of my life until I make a conscious effort to get better at this.
To start, I have just been more friendly with everyone I encounter on a daily basis. Shooting the **** with strangers whenever I have the excuse to do so. I go into town once or twice a week and meet up with a friend who is going through a similar situation. Saturday I went into town, brought my truck and set up a good bed in the backseat. I went out on the town solo with the express purpose of getting comfy rolling solo and approaching women. I started out at about 7:30, walked around downtown and through the mall. Approached a chick working at one of the stores. She had her DOG behind the counter, so that was an easy opener for sure. I love dogs, and she was cute. Perfect excuse to talk. I know this sounds like nothing, but this was literally my first random day approach ever. Felt good. I did a few more approached throughout the night and it was fun. I'm hooked, I want to get better at this. Its ridiculous that a 30 year old man never learned this skill before, but no time to dwell on the past.
Since I broke with my chick I have played with the OLD scene some, with little success. I retooled my profile a couple times but still not great results. Last week I completely redid my approach. I read through a bunch of threads on here and on roosh and got some good ideas. I took a bunch of shots of myself, chose the best for pictures. I removed a bunch of unneeded crap in my profile, put up the best pics, and one cute pic of my dogs (tons of dog lover chicks in VT). Had a little bit of C&F in my profile, but its very basic. The results have been very positive. Have a couple dates lined up this week (obviously still huge flake potential like any online chicks) but the sheer number of positive replys to my messages has been encouraging. Approaching in person is better for sure, but online seems to be a resource that should also be utilized, I was just using the wrong mindset before.
I can't stress enough how important a good picture is. Many people know this, and now I know it too.
Here are the pictures to compare for an idea.
Here is the first pic that got me pretty dismal results. I look ****ty, but I didn't even realize it at the time.
http://s1103.photobucket.com/user/danapcurtis/media/158713700S_zps420eeeb9.jpeg.html
here is my current pic, its a bit douschey, but it is working 100 times better, and I rock this look regularly.
http://s1103.photobucket.com/user/danapcurtis/media/12_zps2417ff5d.jpg.html
Final thing to report, I took a trip a couple weeks ago to visit my buddy in the Dominican. It was soo much fun. Rode motos all over the country, climbed in the rain forest and I got my Dominican flag. I used to travel in the carribean for work and developed a serious thing for island girls, but never banged because I was in the LTR. This was also the first black chick I have banged, and it was super fun, a great topper to an already awesome trip.
And that's all for now, thanks for reading along, and thanks for the insight and ideas that are shared here on a daily basis. It has helped me more than I could have imagined.
Upwards!