Alex DeLarge's College Approach Journal.

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #41

Decided to hit up my buddy last night to see if he wanted to go to the mall. He said he was down and that he should probably do some Christmas shopping, so he picked me up and we went.

We walk around for a bit and he says "So what do you need here?" I just said back "Nothing really, I just wanted to go to people watch and check out the chicks." I came to check out an outdoors store too for some hiking equipment for my cousin, but didn't have the money for it.

Well anyways he said "Well I just came here to get one thing, so you wanna bounce now?" I said back "And do what? Lets walk around and talk to some chicks" then he says "Don't you think that's kinda creepy dude?"

I don't get why all my friends think it's creepy to talk to women that you don't know in an open social environment. They even think it's creepy to talk to girls at bars, yet most of them have girlfriends somehow.

We wound up leaving. No dice. There weren't that many babes there anyways.. Mostly UGs and chicks that didn't really fit my demographic. (Sucks leaving a major city and coming back to a suburb lol.. Way more ugly chicks, not nearly as many HBs)

Number Close

The other day I made an OKcupid account. I've tried this sh1t once a while ago, but figured I'd try it again. Messaged about 5 girls and got responses from 2. One of the girls I number closed while joking around about being fans of really sh1tty music. (Ever hear of ICP? lol)

Well anyways, I messaged her with this line "I HATE MY DAD AND LIKE TO DRINK IN THE DARK. YOU'RE KINDA CUTE LOL" Just experimenting and fvcking around, she messaged me back in under a minute haha!

 

[asianbboy]

Entry #41

Decided to hit up my buddy last night to see if he wanted to go to the mall. He said he was down and that he should probably do some Christmas shopping, so he picked me up and we went.

We walk around for a bit and he says "So what do you need here?" I just said back "Nothing really, I just wanted to go to people watch and check out the chicks." I came to check out an outdoors store too for some hiking equipment for my cousin, but didn't have the money for it.

Well anyways he said "Well I just came here to get one thing, so you wanna bounce now?" I said back "And do what? Lets walk around and talk to some chicks" then he says "Don't you think that's kinda creepy dude?"

I don't get why all my friends think it's creepy to talk to women that you don't know in an open social environment. They even think it's creepy to talk to girls at bars, yet most of them have girlfriends somehow.

We wound up leaving. No dice. There weren't that many babes there anyways.. Mostly UGs and chicks that didn't really fit my demographic. (Sucks leaving a major city and coming back to a suburb lol.. Way more ugly chicks, not nearly as many HBs)

Number Close

The other day I made an OKcupid account. I've tried this sh1t once a while ago, but figured I'd try it again. Messaged about 5 girls and got responses from 2. One of the girls I number closed while joking around about being fans of really sh1tty music. (Ever hear of ICP? lol)

Well anyways, I messaged her with this line "I HATE MY DAD AND LIKE TO DRINK IN THE DARK. YOU'RE KINDA CUTE LOL" Just experimenting and fvcking around, she messaged me back in under a minute haha!

Same ere man. people don't like talking to strangers in malls either, from what i've seen.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #42

Last night I went out with my gang to the bars and it was somewhat successful, but ever since moving out to a major city that's full of hot women, None of the women seem that attractive to me in my hometown anymore lol. Sorta weird.

Ran into this one girl from highschool who I never talked to really, just started flirting with her and kino'd a bit putting my arm around her waist. I had her following me around all night. I didn't go for the number close even though I could've which was stupid of me. She's all right looking.. I'd say an HB7.

Had another HB8 down there say hi to me, she said "Wow you remember me!" and I replied back "Of course! How could I forget a pretty face like that one? " She seemed really flattered but she was with some big obese guy which was fvcking weird! She was probably a gold digger.

Talked to and kino'd another HB8 outside the bar later on that night.. I don't even remember what we talked about cause I was kind of drunk at that point, but some other dude wound up swiping her from beneath my feet lol. I didn't sweat it, I ran back inside and joined my friends.

A few things I'm starting to learn the hard way
I should set a time constraint and just go for the number. I have to realize that I don't need to call the girl, but it's better to have the opportunity. By setting a time constraint, I know "OK go for the number now" rather than keep conversing til we both get bored and both walk away.

Well tonight I'll be goin out with the guys again, I'm sure there will be a ton more chicks out tonight with Christmas Eve being tomorrow. Good luck to anyone else hitting the sarging battlefield!

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #43

Editting cause I was pretty drunk last night when I typed this field report..

So the night started off with a gig I played with my band and an afterparty. This really short HB9.5 came out that I hadn't seen in ages. Blonde, and beautiful eyes and face.. She's a "thrower" if you catch my drift lol. We just caught up for a bit and talked.. Lots of eye contact, lots of kino, she even said to me "Wow, you're really hot. I bet you could fvck any girl you want.. But you smell like sh1t right now!"

:O FVCK!

I said to her "Well, I appreciate it that you told me that! But I did just play the show so I got all sweaty." Fvck.. If I had just put on some deodorant and cologne I could be bangin this chick right now. I didn't sweat it though (no pun intended)..

I started talking to this other HB9 at the after party too. Pretty cute but had a boyfriend.. I posted a previous FR about her. She was super flirty with me all night.. Lots of kino happening which was good in making the HB9.5 jealous. I kept switching up between the two and number closed the HB9.5 that said I smell like sh1t lol. Two other guys were even agreeing with her trying to c0ckblock me, but I got through.. One of them even had her one on one talking and I just jumped into the conversation and knocked his power away by AMOGing him. I never thought about it this way, but it's kind of more of challenge/more fun when other dudes are trying to CB you lol.

I asked the HB9 if she wanted to go for a walk, and she politely declined. Then I asked "So are you still seeing ___?" and she said "yes" I just replied with "That's good! how's he doing" etc.. I got a ride home with her and her friend and told her "Wow, I'd give you a kiss for the ride home but I'd feel kinda weird about breaking up your relationship. Have a merry christmas guys!" Ballsy move but I wanted to do it lol..

Came home and an HB9 sent me a message on OKcupid with her number in it... Had around 4 number closes this week. Not bad!

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #44

Hungout with an HB9 last night from my hometown amongst friends. We all just went for a cruise around our town and smoked some weed and caught up. I've been friends with the HB9 for a long time, but have made out with her a few times too. We stopped driving and walked around.. I was kino-ing her a bit by putting my arm around her, we even walked around and I grabbed her ass a bit. I did the hand squeeze technique that was talked about in the game by Mystery and Style and she squeezed back.

At one point, I went in for a kiss-close and got denied.. Whatever, I just assumed she was shy since she was completely receptive to everything else. I went in for it again later, denied again. I still think it's just cause she's shy or wants me to work for it or something. I'll keep her on the side.

Lately I've been thinking about my one-itis a lot. I talked to her two days ago and she flaked on hanging out friday after we had plans. I think I'm starting to realize the cold person she really is and move on from that. I'm sick of being stringed along through her bullsh1t whether it be saving me for one of her dry spells, hot colding me, etc.. It's tough cause we were great friends before all that, but I'm just going to delete her number and go no contact.

I'm not using no contact to get her back here, I'm purely doing it to get her the fvck out of my life and erase her existence from my mind. We had a thing going back in the summer and she fvcked one of my best friends behind my back on a trip I had invited her on. I just woke up from a dream where I saw them both fvcking and it refilled me with the same unbearable disgust for her I had at the time.

Like I said before, I don't want to do this.. I just have to to be happier. And what is more important.. My happiness or hers? I think it's time to start saying that mine is more important.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #45

I am sooo not proud to admit this.. But I hung out with my fvcking one-itis last night after saying I was kicking her out of my life. It's a long story but here's the scoop of it.

Went out to a bar with a friend to grab a beer before we went to our best friend's Christmas party. My one-itis was down there.. She had some sap buying drinks for her. I was still sober at this place so I was on top of my game and said a lot of ballsy sh1t which could easily end in either a slap in the face or getting beat up by one of her orbiters.

Me: So how was your Christmas
Oneitis: It was all right, just spent it with family
Me: That's good
Oneitis: Yeah whatever (walks away goes back to her girlfriends and orbiters then comes back with some dude.. Dude goes to the bar)
Me: So is that one of your sap boyfriends for the evening?
Oneitis: No, he's just buying me a drink.
Me: Hah! Wonder why he's doing that.
Oneitis: Cause he's nice!

This was the stupidest conversation ever.. I always thought this girl was smart, but she just revealed that she is like every other moderately attractive girl. Uses the nice guy for favors and gets fvcked by the badboy. Whatever.

Later on we're sitting at the bar, one-itis is begging to come to the party with me and my friend.. We keep telling her "no" because she keeps demanding to be home at a certain time. Dumb fvcking b1tch thinks she can invite herself to our friend's party and make us leave when she wants. Well I knocked that dumb h0 right off her throne. We got up, started to leave..

One-itis: Wait! I need a ride home.
Me: We're not going to your house, we're going to the party.
One-itis: Fine! I'll just come
Me: No, we're not leaving just to drive you home at 11. You have to learn our lives don't revolve around you. You are not our girlfriend, our little sister, a best friend, etc.. You are just a friend. You should be responsible for yourself.
One-itis: Fine, I'll stay out later!

(Now this is where I caved, I had no legitimate reason to not invite her anymore. I could easily say I'm not giving her a ride home, but I know one of my numb nuts AFC friends would probably drive her home and fvck her even though they know I had a thing with her.)

We get to the party, and 3 other girls I had kissed and had things going on with were there. I tried to occupy my time with them, playing pool, and paying NO ATTENTION to my one-itis. I really can't fvcking stand her.

I hate when people call girls a "slvt" for enjoying sex.. But this girl is a legit SLVT we have kissed before and gone to 3rd base, no sex though.. But she will try to fvck all my friends.. Even the ones with girlfriends. When they say "no" she keeps moving forward. I think she had kissed at least every guy there and probably fvcked half of them. A few while she had a long-term boyfriend. In fact, being with her before had turned me extremely paranoid with dating women recently to the point where I think they are all cheating or fvcking my friends behind my back. Anyways.. Without rambling too much..

So later on in the night, I couldn't get my one-itis away from me. I was getting pretty drunk and horny too. So I said to her "Looks like you're not going home early tonight, wanna come back to my place?" then i slapped her ass. I was fvcking with her head more than trying to get her to come back with me, but the girl's such a slvt I figured it might work. But, to my disinterest, she slapped me in the face.

One of our friends came over and said "Yo what'd you say to her?!" I said back to him.. "Listen ____, I don't want to fight but I want to speak with you in private for a minute. We're too good of friends to settle this with fighting" He agreed and we went outside.

He was a victim once upon a time of getting one-itis over this b1tch. I said to him "dude you know I don't usually say this but __ is a fvcking slvt. She craves male attention and will demand it in any and every form. We can't give it to her because when she doesn't have it, she's powerless." He actually agreed with me totally to my surprise lol.

I was so pissed off in the place I just had to leave though. This b1tch invites herself to our friends' party. All the other girls there hate her. She has the balls to slap me in the face.. And I'm pretty sure she left with one of my best friends and probably fvcked him or blew him for a ride home.

I'm not proud of this entry at all, but I have to write the complete truth in here or I'll feel like an ass.. But I will say that I am definitely getting over her. Last night helped a lot. She just seems like a disgusting girl to me now who I do not want to even be around. She is the equivalent of a prostitute except she fvcks and svcks for favors, not money. It's just such a bummer cause I've known her since I was a little kid in high school, but friends diverge from a common path at some point down the road

 

[bullethead]

@ Alex DeLarge dude I know a similar girl like that. She was my fb, and had sex with my friend. I know how u feel, I went through the same one-itis even though I slept with hotter girls. The reason you had one-itis is because she chose to have sex with your friend but not you. That feeling is the last feeling an Alpha male would like to feel. It may be weird but in some weird way your brain rewired itself- her sleeping with another guy you know made her 10x more desirable because she was successfully chased by another male in your social circle. The way you reacted was not very alpha male, she sort of won here. You should have talked to her a little, and then ignored her completely and enjoy yourself. Her seeing you happy is the ultimate salt in her wound. And added bonus is if you made out with a girl and she caught you! lol. Just forget her bro! And pat yourself on the shoulder that she is out of your life!

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #46

Last night was a lot of fun.. Played a gig with my band and hit the town. I was supposed to have some chick from a dating site come down, but she couldn't cause she had work tomorrow or something. Didn't really even think about it past that. I flirted with a few girls there, but no real good looking women.

Later on I went down to the bar to meet my buddy. He was with some HB7 who had a BF and an HB8 girl who was a little bit taller than me. I flirted around with the both of them most of the night and had them as pivots. The HB8 was a twin, so I kept calling her by her twin sister's name all night.

Later on in the night I opened up a two set. It was a kinda chubby HB6 and a plain jane HB6. Talked to these girls for about 5 minutes.. One of them said she was from northern California but I sensed a little bullsh1t... So I employed PDX1138's idea for a "Reverse Sh1t Test" and said to her..

Me: "Oh yeah ____ in northern California, that's by ____ right?"
HB6: "Yeah! My town is right by there"
Me: (sly smile) "Haha, you're not from california dear, ____ is in Alaska.. Have a nice night though."

You should've seen this ch1ck's face.. Her jaw fvcking dropped lol. She probably thought "Wow a guy really just sh1t tested me?!" Props to pdx1138 for that idea.. Golden stuff!

Anyways, later on in the night I chatted up this Scottish chick who was probably legitimately a foot taller than me. She was an HB8, but honestly a chick I would not want to date. I just cannot date women who are taller than me no matter how hot they are.. She asked if I had a facebook page eventually and I said..

Me: "No, I don't have one. Just a cell phone." (I feel like this is good to say to a chick you just met if they say ANYTHING about facebook, because it gives the incentive that you will be receptive to them giving you their number.. If they feel a bit intimidated.)
HB8: "Oh well I don't give out my number to just anyone."
Me: "That's fine, well I'm going inside.. See you around."

Went back inside, the two girls my buddy was with were kinda impressed by me haha.. Most of the guys in my demographic are just the scrawny hipster kids you see all over NYC who never have the balls to approach. Overall it was a good night, I opened a few sets and had some good conversations, but I'm not moving past that glass ceiling of bringing a girl home which is bumming me out! I know I can get past it though, just gotta keep on trying!

Also, supposed to have the One-itis's friend from highschool come over my place later tonight lol. Girl's kind of a flake, but we'll see what happens.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Follow Ups

So last night an HB7 flaked on me.. It was kind of expected cause she always does though. This chick only texts me when she's drunk and seems a little bit low quality, but she has a nice body so I figured I'd give her a shot.. Maybe there's something in her picture that I'm missing, but I guess not. She's a friend of a friend who told me she has incredibly low self-esteem and can only have sex when she's drunk. NEXT.

Now today, I texted an HB9.5 I met at one of my gigs last week. She seemed really interested in hanging out, established some rapport and commonalities with her earlier in the week through text.. but I texted her today and she's not replying. I all ready made plans with some friends for the evening, so if she gets back to me I'll tell her "maybe some other time, I all ready made plans."

I'm so sick of getting flaked on.. It's not that it's hurting my ego cause I know girls have a billion reasons for flaking, but I'd just like to have the chance to go on a date or two and get to know a chick. I have another HB7.5 plate in the works who was away for a bit, but she seems to have decent IL. I guess she's getting back tonight, so I might see if she wants to go out for drinks friday night.

 

[MisterD]

I've been stalking these forums for some while and finally decided to join. I just want to add something if I may. It seems flaking is a big issue on these forums. More so than what me or my friends have experienced in real life. I think this can be attributed to the fact that you (not you specifically) are trying to manufacture interest. 
All these PUA tips tell you to talk to a girl no more than 10-15 minutes and get her number (WTF?) and then if/when you do get the number, to only use it to set up dates and confirmations of those dates. And then people wonder why they get flaked on. You have to establish a rapport first. In YOUR mind you may be saying "Wow I killed it. I went in there like a man, approached a hottie, and got her number without sayig much, she probably thinks I'm all mysterious and cool" Meanwhile SHE may be saying "Who is this guy? Do I know anything about him? Why should I go out with him? I barely know him". I know many on here have been scarred by the LJBF scenario so are extra cautious of showing too much of themselves to a new girl, for fear of getting friended. But there's a balance. You cant expect a 15 minute conversation with a total stranger to be so powerful shes ready to throw her panties at you. Some girls just give their number out to avoid conflict/confrontation with a guy they just met in the street. I would go on to say that if you rely more on social circles, friends of friends, etc for dating, theres a smaller percentage of flakes, because eventually you'll have to see them and they'll be forced to explain themselves. Its not like a girl you meet once, and then she flakes and she never has to see you again. If its a girl that's in your class or place of work that you see consistently, she's less likely to flake for fear of what you'll say to her or how you'll respond the next time you see her in person. 

Reading one of your earlier posts, you had mentioned some of your friends think it's weird to approach random girls, and you disagreed. I think it is. There is two ways to think about it I guess, one is the idea that you're so confident and macho that when you see a babe you like, you go after it, no questions asked. The other hand, for some, it comes across as cheesy, and desperate. As if you have no other avenues in your social life to explore so you're relagated to approach strange women in public. I'm of the latter belief. I think, and studies show, those cold approaches, approaches in bars, etc, have a low success rate. You get more quality women through your social circles. For example, if you're in school, and you're working towards a degree, and you see a cute girl in your class, odds are she is working towards a degree in the same field. Or even if she isnt, asking her is already an ice breaker. And through time, you develop a connection that feels natural. As opposed to "sarging" which is very transparent. You're not approaching her because you have awesome chemistry. Or because you have a lot in common and your personalities mesh. You approached her because she has a cute face and a fat ass. Which most girls just take as a compliment and keep moving. Its an ego boost for women who dont need any more ego boosts. Thats why a lot of them flake. They dont feel a connection with you, they just feel flattered you found them so physically attractive you approached them in public. Thats good enough for them. 

I think some people on here, because of their AFC past, want to make up for lost time, and are looking for a quick, silver bullet solution to their problems, and they view it as a numbers game. "Oh if I send 50 messages on a dating site, maybe 10 will reply!". "Oh if I approach 100 women in a month, odds are at least 20 will respond positively!". Yeah...but that also means you got rejected 80 times. Some people view those rejections as earning stripes and just playing the game, and take from it some moral value. There are no moral victories for me. You either win or you lose. And why lose when you dont have to? Not sure how constant rejections and flakes with an occassional success sprinkled inbetween keeps guys optomisitic but that approach doesnt work for me. There are some on here, who have a more natural approach and take life how it goes, and remind us that women should not be the focal point of your life. Focus on bettering yourself mentally, physically, expand your social circle and the women will come. You have to take everything you see and read on these forums with a grain of salt. This place has no doubt opened my eyes up to some stuff that has now been added to my arsenal, but too much overanalyzing is as deadly to your game as not having game to begin with. Dating girls should be fun, not some experiment with numbers and canned lines and techniques etc etc. If people are using that stuff, and its working to their liking. By all means, do what you gotta do. For me, Its too much to worry about and involves more thinking and analyzing than should be required. Not sure how any of this helps you specifically but I felt like dropping in and just contributing some thoughts. Good luck in the future and remember, dont take this DJ and/or PUA stuff too seriously. Life is too short to worry about why one chick didnt answer a text message. One thing I would also suggest. I used to be in the school of "No sex, go next" And would no contact any woman who didnt want to get physical with me. But there is potential gold to be mined if you keep them around. I dont mean friend them in the AFC sense of friending them. Just dont leave in an ugly way. Keep them around, you never know when she'll come around, or introduce you to one of her friends who may be even more interested. 

 

[MisterD]

The only way that I know how to deal with the emotional frustration of flaking is to keep an abundance of plates spinning.

And if I've learned anything about spinning plates, it's that I NEVER have enough. I can get a phone number a day and have 3 dates booked in one evening, only to have it all fizzle out on me.

So I think flaking IS definitely the new dating norm.

I should have mentioned this in my novel of a first post but I guess I'll add onto it here. Some people underestimate the power of technology. Facebook and text messaging are destroying potential dates/relationships. From the time a chick wakes up to the time she goes to sleep, shes bombarded with texts and wall posts telling her how hot she is, how popular she is. We've all seen that one guy who leaves a comment under every picture she posts. To which she doesn't respond to, of course.

I refer to this current trend as "***** Inflation". Girls of all kinds are getting heavy attention from every angle. Guys are required to be funny, smart, charming, good looking, manly, interesting, cool. And even then, it may not be enough. Girls just have to be hot, and guys will put up with the rest. Girls flake when they have (or think they have) options, OR if you did a cold approach and she feels uncomfortable with you. It is what it is man. ***** is inflated right now.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Haha, good posts MisterD. Great outlook on this all. I think I'm just feeling stressed about the whole flaking thing cause I'm between semesters at college right now. If I was in school, I wouldn't think twice about the BS of it because I'd be occupying my time with studying.

On another note, I just got a call back and landed a great job today! So I guess that makes up for the flaking lol.

 

[MisterD]

Haha, good posts MisterD. Great outlook on this all. I think I'm just feeling stressed about the whole flaking thing cause I'm between semesters at college right now. If I was in school, I wouldn't think twice about the BS of it because I'd be occupying my time with studying.

On another note, I just got a call back and landed a great job today! So I guess that makes up for the flaking lol.

Thanks. Congrats on the job stuff too.Honestly I dont know how much I will be posting. I stumbled on this place a few months ago and have been stalking like an AFC but I took an interest to your thread because I'm in the same boat. I'm 24 and in college, and this semester was terrible. No prospects that met my standards. And now I'm on break and dont go back until Jan 22nd. All that does is give you time to over analyze and overthink. Believe me. Its not healthy. I'm just trying to keep in touch with the chicks I already know, make sure to keep the attraction train rolling, and hopefully this upcoming semester will be more fruitful.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #47

New Years Eve..

Went out to a bar across town to check out an awesome concert. Had a great time and talked to this girl I knew way back in the day who I ran into there (HB7.5). We had a catch up conversation, then I said "Hey I gotta go meet back up with my friends who are up front. It was nice seeing you though."

Then something weird happened.. She number closed me.

Her: "Well hey, I had a great time talking too. Let's continue it sometime, here's my number." - I felt like the man lol.

Unfortunately from this moment, it all kinda went downhill. Spent the rest of the night with my friends being drunk and immature running through the streets, which was fun.. But a few of them kept trying to start fights, and I kept having to save their asses and break it up. So I wasn't really having a good time anymore with them, and I wasn't chasing skirt. I would've just ditched them, but they were from out of town and needed a place to crash.

It was 5 dudes and 1 chick in the group. (This chick c0ckblocks everyone.. She will even start making out with you in front of a girl you're talking to in order to drive them away.) This girl got wasted and wound up making out with all of us at different points in the night, which was an extreme turn off. She kissed me first, then I though "huh.. maybe tonight will end interesting." And then kissed the rest of my friends (gross). She tried coming back to me and I just told her to chill the fvck out and stop craving all of our attention.

She got kinda pissed at me and smashed a bottle in the street so I said back "Wow that's real mature.. How old are you? 13?" She's one of those friends that I really need to just kick out of my life at this point.. She brings nothing to the table except conflict. She's very similar to the last girl I posted about (my one-itis) and uses her sexuality to manipulate men (gets her friends to buy her stuff, drive her places, give her romantic attention (excluding sexually), and so on. It's just sickening, I don't want to be around women like that so I refuse to be around her anymore.

I'm making a new years resolution to say "Fvck having female friends unless they're genuine".. I have only one female friend who I consider a true genuine friend and she rules.. She's pretty hot too, but I wouldn't want to pursue her since I have a bad track record with drunken make outs with female friends, and horrible over-analysis of everything that had happened. I am unwilling to take the risk, but only cause I value her friendship a lot.

 

[macallik]

Thanks. Congrats on the job stuff too.Honestly I dont know how much I will be posting. I stumbled on this place a few months ago and have been stalking like an AFC but I took an interest to your thread because I'm in the same boat. I'm 24 and in college, and this semester was terrible. No prospects that met my standards. And now I'm on break and dont go back until Jan 22nd. All that does is give you time to over analyze and overthink. Believe me. Its not healthy. I'm just trying to keep in touch with the chicks I already know, make sure to keep the attraction train rolling, and hopefully this upcoming semester will be more fruitful.

Hey, I read your posts. I agree that setting some kind of time restraint isn't always helpful. I just want to point out that the definition of a cold approach is approaching someone that you don't already know in any way. A girl you have a class with but don't know is a cold approach. OTOH, the definition of a social circle sarge is essentially a warm approach because you know of her through your network of friends. Your best friend's girlfriend's roommate would be an example of a social circle.

The reason for the increased amount of flakes in most cold approaches is because there is a smaller probability of two strangers having a lot in common as opposed to two individuals that share a similar interest. So while I agree that you should go after like-minded individuals to improve your chance of success, I think it important to note that you are still talking about cold approaching. I agree that you might find higher quality at a college than a bar. However, I would still be executing a cold approach or sarging a college campus.

Cold approaching in the street has its merits as well, though. It allows you to expand your potential social circle instantly and expose yourself to women and views on relationship that you wouldn't have encountered previously. Sarging a feminist class in college is likely to give you very similar experiences. However, sarging a grocery store will expose you to a smorgasbord of women with different outlooks on life. Variety in cold approaches can lead to a variety in your dating life.

Furthermore, the idea that tackling social circles results in a higher quality of women presupposes that the original social circle is quality to begin with. If you look @ the OP's current social circle as a band member, it is full of guys who start random fights when they drink and groupie females/homie-hoppers.

 

[MisterD]

Hey, I read your posts. I agree that setting some kind of time restraint isn't always helpful. I just want to point out that the definition of a cold approach is approaching someone that you don't already know in any way. A girl you have a class with but don't know is a cold approach. OTOH, the definition of a social circle sarge is essentially a warm approach because you know of her through your network of friends. Your best friend's girlfriend's roommate would be an example of a social circle.

The reason for the increased amount of flakes in most cold approaches is because there is a smaller probability of two strangers having a lot in common as opposed to two individuals that share a similar interest. So while I agree that you should go after like-minded individuals to improve your chance of success, I think it important to note that you are still talking about cold approaching. I agree that you might find higher quality at a college than a bar. However, I would still be executing a cold approach or sarging a college campus.

Cold approaching in the street has its merits as well, though. It allows you to expand your potential social circle instantly and expose yourself to women and views on relationship that you wouldn't have encountered previously. Sarging a feminist class in college is likely to give you very similar experiences. However, sarging a grocery store will expose you to a smorgasbord of women with different outlooks on life. Variety in cold approaches can lead to a variety in your dating life.

Furthermore, the idea that tackling social circles results in a higher quality of women presupposes that the original social circle is quality to begin with. If you look @ the OP's current social circle as a band member, it is full of guys who start random fights when they drink and groupie females/homie-hoppers.

Yeah. My bad if the language I used was incorrect in terms of defining cold approach. I mean personally, for me, cold approach is more of, you see a pretty girl walking down the street and you turn around to follow her and open her up. College stuff, or other social settings where you already have a common bond is an approach no doubt, but not "cold" to me. For college, you're in class together, so when you approach her, I would think, in her head she rationalizes it as "oh well we're in the same class, so naturally we're going to interact." Or another example would be if I have a dog, and I take it to a public dog park, and I happen to sit next to a fellow dog owner who I find attractive, you could open up by talking dog stuff and in her mind again, she'll think of it as "well yeah, hes a dog owner, im a dog owner, i can see why he would want to make small talk". 

As opposed to just walking up to a girl in the street where I would assume her guard is much higher. Of course in both scenarios you are approaching a woman you've never spoken to or know anything about, but I would assume she would be easier to open if there was a legit reason for talking to her. Thats why places like school are gold mines in my opinion. All you have to do is ask a simple question, something like "Hey did you get the assignment?". And after that very simple, harmless ice breaker, shes open. 

Every friend I have, has done well with women without having to walk up to x amount of random women every weekend. They get quality women through the outlets they have. Social circles, school, work, chance meetings (public approaches that they didnt plan but rather just sort of happened)

If cold approaches work for people, then they should do it. Whatever method you use to land *high quality* girls with minimal flaking should be the obvious route. In my experience, its the stuff I mentioned. 

I agree cold approaching can open you to different people and all that. Again, if this is the bread and butter for certain people, keep on. I think all of us came here for different reasons. Some have trouble meeting/picking up women. Some have trouble understanding the female psyche. Some have oneitis problems, etc. My problem was never a matter of meeting women, it was more of moving too fast on them and developing feelings for them too quickly.

I also agree with the social circle having to be quality in order to find women of the same quality. You have to know who your friends are. If you know your friends are more into getting rowdy and partying than they are about meeting new women, you don't have to cut them loose necessarily, but just don't hang with them on occassions where you know you're planning on approaching. I think we all have different circles. All my friends know each other, but theres friends I only go to bars with, friends I only hang out with when I wanna catch a movie or just chill etc. 

If there is an overall message to my posts, it's just to be as natural as possible. I see a lot of over analyzing and I can understand why. None of us want to be who we once were. But there is a limit. Some think they need complete personality/thought process overhauls when in reality it was only a minor tweak here or there holding them back from meeting the women they wanted. That's why I take this forum in moderation because at times it becomes info overload and I feel like I'm reading a homework assignment for school when I really should just enjoy the process of meeting and fooling around with women. 

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #48

Went out the other night with my roomate to his girlfriend's place. Our other roomate tagged along too. All these girls are taken, so I wasn't mackin'. I was just relaxing and drinking a beer, but I could tell that some other dude was trying to get with this chick that had a BF. She's flirted with me a bunch, and my roomate (who's single). I can completely tell that the only reason why they wanted us over was for male attention while their BFs weren't able to give it to them. Lame as fvck.

Later on I got up and left, reflecting on the whole thing. I sorta realized that even when girls hang with dudes (even the ones perceived as "slvtty") they're not always doing it to swing to a new branch.. They just want the attention of a man when their boyfriend isn't there. I saw this guy mackin' to the taken girl and she rejected his advances.

Regardless of not working game myself, it was a good social dynamics observation.

On another hand, I've been doing the online dating thing lately. Racked up about 5 numbers in the past week with that sh1t. Some very good prospects, others not so much.

1.) Kinda chubby hipster girl - would be good for a practice fvck. nice rack and ass, but seems slvtty.
2.) Mature woman - Again, would be good for a practice fvck. She messaged me saying she's "looking to meet new people" aka.. Bang younger guys.
3.) Tall amazon - She's pretty hot, but too tall for me. Considering taking her out. Seems like I won't considering she talked about her ex within the first 5 messages. Might use her for practice.
4.) Beautiful girl - She's dope, into cool music, and likes weed. Totally up my alley. Nice curvy body too.
5.) Pale girl - dope body, but I don't have a car and she lives a few towns away. Considering having her take the train down to my city. She seems really cool and spontaneous.

I never thought this sh1t was so easy haha.. All I do is read bits of their profile and comment on something I find interesting and they reply.

 

[drakeramore]

Hey there, dude! I ve been reading your exploits for a few weeks. Now, I was more or less in teh same boat as you. Been around this site for a few months, still a virgin, not overly great with girls. Im a bit older than you, 26. But although we are different for sure, there were some similiarities I think so at least. Anyhow, I was curious to see when you would, you know "get lucky" and was reading your journal from time to time. Turns out, somewhat unexpectedly, I lost my V-card (as u say it around here) prior to you. It happened last night. And, I dont know, I thought I should share some of my insights after the experience with you, for what it is worth. Now, the girl I "did it" with is very cute, not super hot or anything, but very cute nonetheless. Awesome personality. Awesome indeed. We did it twice last night. Now, I dont know why I am writing these details, hopefully there will be a point at the end of this thing I thought before last night that sex was overrated, now I am kinda certain of it. To an extent though, of course, last night being my first experience of hopefully many many more. Thing is it is not that big of a deal. It was way more satisfying, at least to me that is, to lie there beside her and cuddle her, I dont know, feel her close. Keep in mind though that this was not by all means a one-night stand. So there was mutual affection and respect. What I am getting at I guess, is that the fact that you are still a virgin should not bother you, like at all. Sex itself isnt what it is all hyped up to be, at least to me. It is not bad by any stretch of the imagination, to say that would be silly. What I mean is that it simply isnt something to get down on yourself over. Do it on your terms, dont do it because there is some outside pressure for you to do it, nor to live up to someones expectations, do it for yourself and for the girl that has attracted you. Thats all I wanted to share with you. Having done it already I cannot say that today I woke up a new man or anything And, as I already mentioned it was that feeling of closeness, not the physical act of sex itself that left me most satisfied and kinda at peace. Now, you should take all that with a grain of salt because we are all different and need different things, it would seem. Just keep your head up and dont let it drag you down. Instead, do the things you enjoy, improve yourself and one day it will come to you naturally. At least thats what I believe in. Of course you have to be pro-active in your self-improvement and push yourself, workout, look for a good job, etc.
Thats all I wanted to put into words, I guess. Hopefully it would be of some use to you Good luck!

 

[AAAgent]

Generally for most people the first time or sometimes even first couple of times s3x sucks. My first time was the same i couldn't keep it up because of mental issues. My first ONS was the same as well, couldn't keep it up even though the girl tried very hard. It was all mental that time as well. It got alot better though but i wouldn't go crazy about it. Don't let s3x control you which happens to alot of guys, can't say i wasn't one of them either.

to the OP-

props for keeping up the journal.

advice- cold approach, i don't see too many of these from you. You should also attempt to number close/date close which i don't believe you do at all either (excluding online dating). Online dating shouldn't be something you focus on as its a cop out and doesn't teach you any of the social skills you will need in life such as holding a conversation, transitioning topics, how to handle adverse conversations, etc.

You also need to learn to cold approach so you can get rejected. Rejection will open up your eyes and realize that talking to women isn't some rocket science you have to learn and everyone is different. If you talk to them even if you're creepy they won't hurt/bite you. You're 22 now, you should be making moves at this age if not even earlier than that age. Your approach journal by reading it so far seems like what highschool guys are going through.

GL

 

[drakeramore]

I guess what you say is true, AAA. I didnt mention it cause I didnt mean to brag but I made her cvm both times That is not what I meant. Anyhow. I only wanted to say that there are other things more important than sex, like staying true to yourself, even if that has to include going against the flow at times. That is me, of course. Im sure it doesnt apply to everybody.