Entry #71
Wow, lots of catching up to do.. So this past weekend I was hanging out with HB9 girl who's off and on with me all the time. We were kissing and all that.. Then I said to her "Hey I'd like you to be my girlfriend. Just letting you know that the offer's there." I know this is sort of against the whole ethics of this board, but I was just being honest with myself and her. She told me "I don't really want a boyfriend right now." and I said back "Cool, that's all you needed to tell me." and we continued doing what we were doing anyways. I was a little bummed, but actions speak louder than words. As far as I'm concerned, if she's kissing/making out with me then all is well.
Now fast forward.. Last night I got out of work and came back to my apartment. HB9 girl is here with another girl who my roomates mackin it to. Turned out they bought us some flowers? Kinda weird, but whatever. I thanked them. They were all cooking a big dinner, hanging out, and drinking wine. HB9 and I cuddled a bit, then I headed out to go catch my friend's band playing on the other side of town. I invited HB9 my roomate and her friend, but they didn't want to come.
I go to the show and catch my friend's band.. Then I start heading home. I'm about to jump on a bus where I get a text from HB9.5 saying "You hate me don't you?" followed by a phone call. I'm just thinking "Oh great here's a disaster. Might as well face the music." I pick up the phone and she's with one of her friends at a bar right by the bus stop. She invites me over there so I go chill with them for a bit.
I decide not to drink cause I have class the following morning but HB9.5's friend buys me a beer. We're all hanging out talking about the show and having a good time. At this point, HB9.5 gets up to use the restroom. It's me and her friend just chilling and talking. Then all of a sudden her friend tries to kiss-close me! Crazy. Her friend was a HB6 at best and I wasn't really interested. We exchanged numbers just for the hell of it, then HB9.5 came back. We all hungout a while more and bounced.
Then I get a text from the HB9 who denied me on the girlfriend thing "Love you".. Immediately after, another text from the HB6 chick "<3".. I'm thinking "What the hell's going on. I'm trying to stay away from women sexually right now and just get my **** together and focus on school + work. Why does this happen right now?"
Then I realized It's in the magic of not really giving a sh1t about women. Not really in the idea of treating them like sh1t.. But just not really caring to hook up or get a number or any of that. It's shutting your mind off toward the negs, the kino, and all that other stupid pick up artist sh1t. It's just being your natural confident self.
After all of this, I went and smoked some weed with HB9.5 and watched some TV with her. She's a fun girl, but not really my type I guess. I know that sounds really arrogant, especially on an internet forum, but it's the truth. Plus she told me she has a "medical condition" where she can't have sex. But then followed up wtih "It's not herpes or anything though".. I wanna be like "So what is it? HIV?" haha.. But she's a really sweet girl and I don't wanna hurt her feelings. We just cuddled all night and watched tv, then I bounced earlier this morning.
Supposed to go to some festival this weekend with the HB9 and a few of our mutual friends. Sounds like a lot of fun and I'm lookin forward to it. In the meantime, I'm gonna keep a break from going out. I've been really slacking this semester with school and think I might fail a class cause I've been too caught up in the music scene out here.