About marriage

[jhonny9546]

Marriage Doesn’t Make Sense

My uncle, which died recently, had the "lover" life descripted in this scenario.
What is Marriage for you?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm Dutch and our marriage laws protected my fatherhood co-parenting when I got divorced. And I was the one to receive alimony from my ex-wife, instead of the other way around.

However, if it wasn't for the legal guardianship of our children, I wouldn't get married again. No benefits.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I'm Dutch and our marriage laws protected my fatherhood co-parenting when I got divorced. And I was the one to receive alimony from my ex-wife, instead of the other way around.

However, if it wasn't for the legal guardianship of our children, I wouldn't get married again. No benefits.

I never understood why people are getting married when the benefits of it is so low while the risks are very high.
I mean what is the point, right?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I never understood why people are getting married when the benefits of it is so low while the risks are very high.
I mean what is the point, right?

For men, the benefits are nihil, yes. Marriage was more for the protection of housewives so they don't get left destitute. Nowadays, there are hardly any women who are non-earning housewives, and there are many possibilities for working from home / remote working, so less financial pressure on women to marry for financial security.

 

[pipeman84]

Marriage Doesn’t Make Sense

My uncle, which died recently, had the "lover" life descripted in this scenario.
What is Marriage for you?

The situation changes for the man who can get laid at will. What benefit will marriage provide him? There is no pleasurable sex act or emotion a married man receives that a bachelor doesn’t.

Obvious limited intelligence and superficial perspective on life of Roosh on full display in the above quote from the article.

I think there has to be something special/unique about the woman in order for marriage to make sense.

 

[BeExcellent]

Two Words:

Nuclear Family. Marriage remains the best and most stable environment for raising children there is. I see other benefits beyond just that one, but that is the main one.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Marriage remains the best and most stable environment for raising children there is.

That was my reason for marriage. If we hadn't wanted children, I wouldn't have married her. And, of course, I figured we'd stay together for longer, but after fifteen years I got sick and she couldn't handle that.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I'll be ending mine

When did you decide this? Did I miss a thread? What happened?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Nuclear Family. Marriage remains the best and most stable environment for raising children there is.

You can have a stable successful nuclear family without being legally married and invite the government into your relationship.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You can have a stable successful nuclear family without being legally married and invite the government into your relationship.

Why would you need to invite the government into your relationship when you're not legally married?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Why would you need to invite the government into your relationship when you're not legally married?

You don't.
I made some kind of write f-kp when i was typing/thinking.
I was referring to when you legally marry you invite the government into your relationship.

 

[BeExcellent]

You can have a stable successful nuclear family without being legally married and invite the government into your relationship.

Not if you want the benefits of a military officer my friend. Base housing, healthcare, etc. etc. requires marriage.

 

[BeExcellent]

That is such a small percentage of the population... why use it as an example?

Not to mention the absolute wreckage that military spouses are legally allowed to put their husband's through, making your example particularly flawed (as well as the exception).

My son married last weekend. He commissioned two weeks before that. He and his wife are Catholic and all those benefits are going to be of great value as they get going in life together. He is an outlier, no doubt. Wonder where he learned that?

His grandfather was a military officer and Air Force Academy grad. His grandmother (my first MIL) was a military wife, homemaker & mother. She was Catholic too and was only ever sexually involved with her husband....lost her virginity on her wedding night. My son had a great example in our family and he found a great gal to build a life with.

I've been frankly very impressed with the priest (good looking young man around 35) and the pre-marital counseling the church requires prior to marriage. There are still those who take it seriously. And the priest made a point to tell his father and I how solid my son is. It was a nice compliment.

 

[BadBoy89]

Two Words:

Nuclear Family. Marriage remains the best and most stable environment for raising children there is. I see other benefits beyond just that one, but that is the main one.

That's a incorrect assumption. Marriage and a stable environment for kids have nothing to do with each other.

Getting married made sense when women didn't have legal and financial power. It doesn't make sense now. It only benefits the system (other people) for a man to be married in 2024.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Two Words:

Nuclear Family. Marriage remains the best and most stable environment for raising children there is. I see other benefits beyond just that one, but that is the main one.

I'm not religious, though i was raised in a religious household.

I'm also thoroughly anti-marriage.

But I can see the benefits of it. There's more of a commitment, which isn't only noticed by society, but also your children.

Whether I like it or not, society still has the standard. And i could see getting married if you found a proper, religious woman.

Most men, though, should not entertain the idea, as most women are vapid *****s.

I mean by historical standards, of course. But that's also what we're basing the sanctity of marriage on, is it not?

 

[SW15]

Nuclear Family. Marriage remains the best and most stable environment for raising children there is. I see other benefits beyond just that one, but that is the main one.

That's a incorrect assumption. Marriage and a stable environment for kids have nothing to do with each other.

Getting married made sense when women didn't have legal and financial power. It doesn't make sense now. It only benefits the system (other people) for a man to be married in 2024.

In 2018, I asked one of my newly married at the time friends about why he bothered to get married. He had been living with his girlfriend prior to getting married. So I wondered and asked "Why not live with her for the foreseeable future?

He told me that the primary reason for marriage was for having children and creating a stable environment for them during their formative years. He later did have children with his wife (one of the pregnancies mentioned in "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere"). This conversations reflects @BeExcellent 's viewpoint.

I agree more with the viewpoint of @BadBoy89 that marriage benefits other people/the system now more so than the individual couple. The likelihood of divorce at any time in the first 20-25 years subsequent to the wedding is too high for it to benefit the individual couple. I'm writing this from the perspective of a United States man evaluating the state of marriage and divorce in the United States.

I'm not religious, though i was raised in a religious household.

I'm also thoroughly anti-marriage.

But I can see the benefits of it. There's more of a commitment, which isn't only noticed by society, but also your children.

Whether I like it or not, society still has the standard. And i could see getting married if you found a proper, religious woman.

Most men, though, should not entertain the idea, as most women are vapid *****s.

If you were to go to a private residence party with mainly attendees from ages 30-55, you would see the society standard in action. People would be mainly married at the very least and many of them would either be talking about the activities of their children. The last private residence party I went to (very recent -- in 2024) was mainly Gen X'ers who were parents.

The blue pill norm still tends to be a married, nuclear family in White households in the United States. Black households tend to have much lower marriage rates.

There's been a lot of hype in the media about Millennials not getting married and not having children. I've seen it more as media hype than anything. In 2024, the oldest Millennials are turning 35-43. Most 35-43 year old White Millennials appear to be married and most have kids.

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Roosh's 2nd paragraph of that article was so accurate.

Marriage makes sense for the average man who doesn’t have the will or dedication to study game. Unless he finds a wife, he can go years without getting laid. Even a pathetic marriage where his wife only fornicates with him once a month is still better than his non-marriage alternative. Society will do its best to encourage this man to marry because it needs competent but unexceptional men to commit themselves to one woman, serve corporate masters to fulfill the consumer wants of their wives, and spawn children who will be obedient workers and compliant citizens.

The average man doesn't study seduction. He hasn't read a book like Krauser's "Daygame Mastery" or "Mystery Method" from Mystery. He's not watching seduction channels on YouTube or participating on forums like SoSuave or similar forums. I think it is important to remember that the average man isn't much like the SoSuave forum participant.

The average man is a man who swipes on apps, sends a few DMs on Instagram, and goes to nightlife venues and maybe dayclub pool parties when he's unattached. He's a pussie beggar for women close to his own age. He's essentially a borderline incel who is dependent on keeping his girlfriend/wife happy enough to keep giving him pussie at some interval when he manages to get into a relationship. When he isn't in a relationship, he may go a very long time without sex and be watching porn and jacking off with some regularity.

Most married men after 2-3 years of marriage are only getting laid a couple of times a month. That's ok with them because that's easier than being single again, struggle to get laid, and they also don't want to pay a financial settlement to the ex while struggling to get laid with new women.

 

[BeExcellent]

Guys it's like this.

You can fear monger or you can lead & live your lives and select a destiny with a high chance for success.

My son married a woman who was a virgin, who has been in love with him since 14, they started dating when she was 16. They met in Catholic gradeschool at age 10 (my son) amd 9 (my DIL). My son had some other girls before he got serious with dating his now wife. He sees the dating shjt show his friends deal with. His buddies all want what he has. My DIL is a preschool teacher if she works at all, her goal in life is to be his wife & mother to his children. And she's cute & petite (but dresses very conservatively.)

She's not yet legal to drink.

Last night on a plane I was chatting with my seat mate. Happily married 40 years with grown children who are also happily married. His family has religious values at the heart of things too.

So there is certainly a segment of the population who get it right from a young age. But those men are not here on SS.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

In 2018, I asked one of my newly married at the time friends about why he bothered to get married. He had been living with his girlfriend prior to getting married. So I wondered and asked "Why not live with her for the foreseeable future?

He told me that the primary reason for marriage was for having children and creating a stable environment for them during their formative years. He later did have children with his wife (one of the pregnancies mentioned in "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere"). This conversations reflects @BeExcellent 's viewpoint.

I agree more with the viewpoint of @BadBoy89 that marriage benefits other people/the system now more so than the individual couple. The likelihood of divorce at any time in the first 20-25 years subsequent to the wedding is too high for it to benefit the individual couple. I'm writing this from the perspective of a United States man evaluating the state of marriage and divorce in the United States.



If you were to go to a private residence party with mainly attendees from ages 30-55, you would see the society standard in action. People would be mainly married at the very least and many of them would either be talking about the activities of their children. The last private residence party I went to (very recent -- in 2024) was mainly Gen X'ers who were parents.

The blue pill norm still tends to be a married, nuclear family in White households in the United States. Black households tend to have much lower marriage rates.

There's been a lot of hype in the media about Millennials not getting married and not having children. I've seen it more as media hype than anything. In 2024, the oldest Millennials are turning 35-43. Most 35-43 year old White Millennials appear to be married and most have kids.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roosh's 2nd paragraph of that article was so accurate.



The average man doesn't study seduction. He hasn't read a book like Krauser's "Daygame Mastery" or "Mystery Method" from Mystery. He's not watching seduction channels on YouTube or participating on forums like SoSuave or similar forums. I think it is important to remember that the average man isn't much like the SoSuave forum participant.

The average man is a man who swipes on apps, sends a few DMs on Instagram, and goes to nightlife venues and maybe dayclub pool parties when he's unattached. He's a pussie beggar for women close to his own age. He's essentially a borderline incel who is dependent on keeping his girlfriend/wife happy enough to keep giving him pussie at some interval when he manages to get into a relationship. When he isn't in a relationship, he may go a very long time without sex and be watching porn and jacking off with some regularity.

Most married men after 2-3 years of marriage are only getting laid a couple of times a month. That's ok with them because that's easier than being single again, struggle to get laid, and they also don't want to pay a financial settlement to the ex while struggling to get laid with new women.

Great post.

I discovered the red pill in my late teens. "no marriage" was a thing at the time, because so many disgruntled men finally had an avenue to vent their frustrations.

I'm glad I saw it, because it prepared me for the potential outcomes

I hate that I saw it, because it changed me as a person.

I've ruined a lot of relationships because I distrusted women

And distrust of women isn't a bad thing in itself. It's absolutely necessary! But not to the extent that the early red-pill guys made it out to be

Part of me wishes that i had taken the blue pill 20 years ago. Maybe I would have gotten lucky and one of those early women would have been keepers. Maybe i would have never had to worry about divorce rape, having your kids taken etc.

Truth is, that world doesn't exist. You can't just live the fairytale.

Every man has to stay on top of his game at all times, and even then you might get fvcked.

"A shrewd man knows that others when they seek him do not seek HIM, but their advantage in him and by him."

 

[SW15]

Part of me wishes that i had taken the blue pill 20 years ago. Maybe I would have gotten lucky and one of those early women would have been keepers. Maybe i would have never had to worry about divorce rape, having your kids taken etc.

Truth is, that world doesn't exist. You can't just live the fairytale.

Some blue pill men manage to go through life relatively undamaged. They might meet a decent woman through their social circles and have little to no exposure to swipe app dating or meeting women through approaching strangers in nightlife venues or the typical non-bar venues. They might also be part a religious community and meet a woman through that religious community as well.

There's a segment of unremarkable men who have a mediocre marriage that manages to survive. Their woman might not be exceptional, but at least she honors her marriage vows enough not to have sex with another man.

What I've described in the two text blocks above seems to be getting less common.

The blue pill man often goes through life and sees himself as managing "to get lucky" with a small handful of women. He marries one because he wants to keep getting some sex. In a lot of cases, the sexual frequency eventually dries up and then bad thing start to happen. His wife will often cheat on him. If he's a Greater Beta and has leveled up in his career, he can impress women with money/status. If he impresses women with money/status, he might be able to have an affair too.

A lot of blue pill men end up going through an unpleasant divorce and finding the red pill.

The red pill seems to be more of a Generation X and earlier Millennial thing. Later Millennials who have never gotten married and Generation Z (aka Zoomers) seem to be going straight to the black pill earlier in life and pre-marriage than Generation X and the earlier Millennials did.

I think that finding the red pill before marriage is a good thing. I don't know how common that path would be to the red pill.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Some blue pill men manage to go through life relatively undamaged. They might meet a decent woman through their social circles and have little to no exposure to swipe app dating or meeting women through approaching strangers in nightlife venues or the typical non-bar venues. They might also be part a religious community and meet a woman through that religious community as well.

There's a segment of unremarkable men who have a mediocre marriage that manages to survive. Their woman might not be exceptional, but at least she honors her marriage vows enough not to have sex with another man.

What I've described in the two text blocks above seems to be getting less common.

The blue pill man often goes through life and sees himself as managing "to get lucky" with a small handful of women. He marries one because he wants to keep getting some sex. In a lot of cases, the sexual frequency eventually dries up and then bad thing start to happen. His wife will often cheat on him. If he's a Greater Beta and has leveled up in his career, he can impress women with money/status. If he impresses women with money/status, he might be able to have an affair too.

A lot of blue pill men end up going through an unpleasant divorce and finding the red pill.

The red pill seems to be more of a Generation X and earlier Millennial thing. Later Millennials who have never gotten married and Generation Z (aka Zoomers) seem to be going straight to the black pill earlier in life and pre-marriage than Generation X and the earlier Millennials did.

I think that finding the red pill before marriage is a good thing. I don't know how common that path would be to the red pill.

No blue-pill man ends up well in the long run

They couldn't even hack it in the 90s, which was a cake walk in comparison to what we're dealing with

Once you have children now, you basically lose all power.

You can do your best to maintain frame, but it doesn't always matter

Especially not in court

Relationships are a gamble