About marriage

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The question that matters....

Do you want kids?

If so, the gamble is worth it

If not, the gamble is still worth it

"A real man wants two things: danger and play. Therefore he wants woman as the most dangerous plaything"
 
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The question that matters....

Do you want kids?

If so, the gamble is worth it

If not, the gamble is still worth it

"A real man wants two things: danger and play. Therefore he wants woman as the most dangerous plaything"
Women are definitely worth the trouble. I mean, they change your life, but life can get pretty boring without them

Also, life can be pretty boring with them

Everything is inside you, grasshopper

Choose your fate
 

BaronOfHair

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My uncle, which died recently, had the "lover" life descripted in this scenario.
What is Marriage for you?
Quote that article: "How about when you’re 55 and near retirement?"

Vanishingly few folks had that luxury(Retiring at 55), even back in '13, when that article was written. Those numbers are down to almost zero today
 

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Quote that article: "How about when you’re 55 and near retirement?"

Vanishingly few folks had that luxury(Retiring at 55), even back in '13, when that article was written. Those numbers are down to almost zero today
You know, i dreamed about retiring at 55 when i was 25

At 39, i'm happy to get a good night's sleep
 

Reincarnated

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The sentiment of the article is fine, and some good points are made, but it's built on the presumption that sexual fulfillment is the only primary motive in life, which seems quite shallow.

I believe in the institution of marriage in the more traditional and religious sense, but agree with some other comments here that government/legal marriages are a completely raw deal for guys. The fact is that the stability marriage brings to society is a net positive, but as others have said it's not as beneficial to the individual. There is a strong correlation between an upbringing in a stable two parent household (generally through a marriage), and success in school and life, which is more/less prevalent in certain demographics.

Marriage in the Christian sense at it's core is a sacrifice, giving up part of yourself and part of your freedom in order to hopefully build something stronger, something more fulfilling than running through a revolving door of options. There is something noble in that sacrifice, so long as the wife is also faithful to that ideal (not always the case). I would argue one of the most impressive things a man with options can do in his life is to commit himself to a worthy woman, and forgo some of the pleasure he may have had otherwise.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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You know, i dreamed about retiring at 55 when i was 25
I semi-retired at 44 and, after my divorce, fully retired at 50. :cool:
Then again, I had my midlife crisis at 23, so that all worked out.
 

BaronOfHair

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Then again, I had my midlife crisis at 23, so that all worked out.
As of this writing no one that I'm aware of has considered the possibility that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold experienced their MLCs at 15. Fervidly as most of us might object to their approach, it's tough to fault those two for getting a jump on ensuring that their contributions would be forever inscribed in history, if that was the case o_O ;)
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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it's tough to fault those two for getting a jump on ensuring that their contributions would be forever inscribed in history, if that was the case
Their parents will appreciate the legacy.
 

AureliusMaximus

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Base housing, healthcare, etc. etc. requires marriage.
Not where I live. In most European countries you have free education, healthcare and much more etc. covered for life by the government / (You and everyone else pay for it through your taxes).

= Zero benefits in being married with some chick.
 

BeExcellent

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Not where I live. In most European countries you have free education, healthcare and much more etc. covered for life by the government / (You and everyone else pay for it through your taxes).

= Zero benefits in being married with some chick.
Then don't marry. But understand that the vast majority of worthwhile women will require marriage to keep a relationship....

So when you are left with the crazy ones nobody wanted to marry, don't ask me why.
 

davidsonj73

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Guys it's like this.

You can fear monger or you can lead & live your lives and select a destiny with a high chance for success.

My son married a woman who was a virgin, who has been in love with him since 14, they started dating when she was 16. They met in Catholic gradeschool at age 10 (my son) amd 9 (my DIL). My son had some other girls before he got serious with dating his now wife. He sees the dating shjt show his friends deal with. His buddies all want what he has. My DIL is a preschool teacher if she works at all, her goal in life is to be his wife & mother to his children. And she's cute & petite (but dresses very conservatively.)

She's not yet legal to drink.

Last night on a plane I was chatting with my seat mate. Happily married 40 years with grown children who are also happily married. His family has religious values at the heart of things too.

So there is certainly a segment of the population who get it right from a young age. But those men are not here on SS.
Guys it's like this.

You can fear monger or you can lead & live your lives and select a destiny with a high chance for success.

My son married a woman who was a virgin, who has been in love with him since 14, they started dating when she was 16. They met in Catholic gradeschool at age 10 (my son) amd 9 (my DIL). My son had some other girls before he got serious with dating his now wife. He sees the dating shjt show his friends deal with. His buddies all want what he has. My DIL is a preschool teacher if she works at all, her goal in life is to be his wife & mother to his children. And she's cute & petite (but dresses very conservatively.)

She's not yet legal to drink.

Last night on a plane I was chatting with my seat mate. Happily married 40 years with grown children who are also happily married. His family has religious values at the heart of things too.

So there is certainly a segment of the population who get it right from a young age. But those men are not here on SS.
@BeExcellent I hope your son and DIL have a long and happy marriage! What I'm gonna write next is my thoughts and observations on marriage to you and anyone else reading: I'm Jewish, but a friend of mine and his wife are both Christians and he is an Army officer. They met in high school and married right after college; they have a wonderful marriage! I also know MANY more people in unhappy marriages or that they've already gotten divorced. Many of these divorces were very costly in financial terms to the man. My personal view is that marriage is only worth that risk for the man if the woman is very beautiful, there is amazing chemistry, they are each other's best friends, they like their future spouse's family, and they can agree to how many children to have (perhaps no children). So, I'm against marriage unless I find an amazing woman to change my mind, and I know she's out there somewhere. Another thing I want to add: it may make more sense for a man to get married if he is in the military, and it may make sense if he is very religious and his religion mandates no sex outside of marriage. My Army officer friend meets both of these conditions.
 
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The Duke

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Y'all think too much. Just enjoy them while you can. When it ends find another one. Nothing lasts forever. It will all turn out fine when the dust settles.
 

BaronOfHair

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Their parents will appreciate the legacy.
Sue Klebold has definitely made her own cottage industry out of that garish day in '99. Girl received a six figure advance for an autobiography of dubious veracity, copies of which sold faster than poor little Josie Smith's


Vital organs, once the witch doctor put them up on EBay. SK continues to travel the world, commanding a lavish fee, for every speech on mental health she delivers. B-tch is an ingrate of the most vile order, if she's not thanking The Almighty each and every day, for blessing her with Dylan + Bringing Eric Harris into their lives
 

jhonny9546

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So there is certainly a segment of the population who get it right from a young age
My life make me also think this is so true. I see it with my sister LTR.
But does this mean that someone 25+ is lost?

I still believe there are wonderful women out there. It could be all about the environment and context you live in. Think about a scenario where a woman grew up in a village with genuine people, without the influence of "the media" and its associated desires. In this environment, she would likely crave a man like her father and aspire to become a good mother like her own. Her surroundings shape her desires and expectations in life.

Now, let's consider the reverse situation in our modern society. Imagine a woman whose mother is divorced, has had 3 different marriages, and has 5 children. What might this woman crave for in her own life?

This is just for saying that "Water takes the shape of the container it fills"
 
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Divorced w 3

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Guys it's like this.

You can fear monger or you can lead & live your lives and select a destiny with a high chance for success.

My son married a woman who was a virgin, who has been in love with him since 14, they started dating when she was 16. They met in Catholic gradeschool at age 10 (my son) amd 9 (my DIL). My son had some other girls before he got serious with dating his now wife. He sees the dating shjt show his friends deal with. His buddies all want what he has. My DIL is a preschool teacher if she works at all, her goal in life is to be his wife & mother to his children. And she's cute & petite (but dresses very conservatively.)

She's not yet legal to drink.

Last night on a plane I was chatting with my seat mate. Happily married 40 years with grown children who are also happily married. His family has religious values at the heart of things too.

So there is certainly a segment of the population who get it right from a young age. But those men are not here on SS.
My girlfriend in senior year of high school and I lost our virginity to each other. She was madly in love with me - I was unsure about her but, not about anything other than just what my future had in store and not wanting to make such a huge commitment at the age of 18. In retrospect, I probably would settle with that version of her then - she was fully supportive and submissive, we had a ball together and nothing was off the table in bed. Her current husband didn’t marry anything remotely close the girl I had lost my virginity to, if legend is to be believed.

I think when we look back in time, to say that hindsight is 20/20 is beyond an understatement.

They say that youth is lost on the young and I think the secret to life is simply acceptance of reality and ability to move forward in it - which I think in my humble opinion, means folks like you and me both can look on our less mistaken younger selves with a bit of nostalgia, but be easy on, or less excited for, those who are just trudging their young paths so as to not overwhelm them with guilt or regret if, god forbid, their next chapter in life is not as fairy tale as it may seem today.
 
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