A warning to those considering marriage...

[Atom Smasher]

More sanctimonious, 'Look at what a great and virtuous guy I am' drivel. No-one is telling you to cheat on your wife. You keep at that pvssy, no matter how old and dry it gets. Banquet? Seems more like prison food.

Hmmm... I see I'm going to have to notch this down quite a bit in order to aid comprehension. I'll try to make this as simple as I possibly can for your learning pleasure.

I am indeed considered a great and virtuous guy by most people I come in contact with in r/l. I hear that feedback all the time and I believe it, because I have taken the hammer to myself and forged myself into what I am today. I think it is a noble understaking to strive to be a great and virtuous man. Once a man has attained this, it would be the height of hypocracy for him to pretend that he has not. That is false humility, a lie.

In addition, I am not married. If and when I do get married, the vows that I speak will be just that... vows. And I will take them very seriously because my honor will be on the line. We here are constantly berating women for speaking out of the emotion of the moment and then changing as circumstances suit them. And almost unbelievably, some of us here would do exactly the same thing that we blame them for.

You have no concept under the sun of what I mean by a "banquet" so I'll just let it go. Either you get it or you don't, and it doesn't warrant explaining. I have no interest whatsoever in debating you guys personally, but I've replied with a few points for the benefit of those who do get it. You know who you are.

 

[marmel75]

Is she allowed to cheat too?

A fair question. She can do whatever she wants to do, but if I find out there will be ramifications, I assume just as if she found out I was cheating.

I honestly never thought I would get married. I've always been a little self-centered, not in an a@@holish kind of way, more in a I do what I want to kind of way, where I look at how something benefits me before I look at how it benefits others. Perhaps it was the fact I was an only child, I don't know.

Again, I think this is what is even giving me these thoughts in the first place...my thinking about what benefits it would give me and not looking at the overall big picture of things. Its not something I am proud of, truth be told, but I don't know how I can change it at this point, its just how I have always been. I am a good hearted, kind person most of the time, and usually have a smile on my face and am in a good mood, but I can also be cold and heartless at other times, completely devoid of emotion. If I decided to walk away from things, I could do so and not even think twice about it, which is what scares me to tell you the truth. I could see my wife bawling and being extremely emotional about it and me just being stone faced with no emotion and saying "I'm sorry." I don't like that side of me, but that is who I am.

That being said, I don't want that to happen. She is a good woman and none of this is any of her fault. She is a better wife than I could have asked for, and maybe better than I deserve at this point, to be honest. I take complete blame for even having these thoughts and feelings and feel like a complete P.O.S. for it. I am going to work on my mental state and try and get this resolved internally....

 

[f283000]

You are being enslaved by a lie. European style marriage, traditional marriage of 1 man and 1 woman is not Biblical. According to the holy scriptures SEX IS MARRIAGE. The moment you penetrate a virgin woman that woman is your wife. That is marriage according to scripture not the church and the state who have used "traditional" marriage to control us.

I just can't help but wonder why so many guys get "married" if they don't even believe in the Bible. If you don't believe in the Bible why do you get married? Because if you believed in the Bible you would know you could have as many wives as you wanted and that's the righteous way a man should live.

So unless your wife was a virgin when you had sex with her she is technically not even your wife. She is the wife of the guy that took her virginity. But then again does any of this matter to you if you don't believe in the Bible or religion?

Just thought i'd throw out a different perspective on "marriage." The organic, the natural way of "marriage" as it was in ancient times was for a man to have multiple wives because a man cannot be satisfied by just having 1 woman (most men, not all).

Guys need to stop bowing down to these women and they need to stop getting "married."

 

[sstype]

Awhile back I thought that it was ok to cheat for the same reasons listed by the pro-cheating crowd.
I concluded that I was wrong and the reason why is if a woman asks to be monogamous or implies she wants to be and you explicitly/implicitly agree to be exclusive then you shouldn't cheat. I'm just not a fan of breaking promises and to me if a man can't keep his vows to those he's closest to then I can't trust him to keep his word around me.

Having said that, if you need the variety then stay single or better yet find a woman that's open to swinging. Be careful with option 2 though, it requires 0 jealousy, setting boundaries, constant revisiting of said boundaries, and open and honest communication from both parties. Otherwise it will cause your marriage to fail one way or the other.

If you're hell-bent on cheating, then do the time-tested traveling businessman routine. Go out of town, and pay a lady of the night to take care of you. Having an affair with a regular woman (co-worker, acquaintance) is almost guaranteed to get you caught.

Regardless of whether you think its justified or not, understand that our society does not look kindly on cheaters, man or woman. If you get caught, your reputation will plummet, your wife will more than likely leave you and your kids will be emotionally damaged from the fallout. You have to really think this through and determine if that's an acceptable risk to take. Personally, I don't think its worth it for my children's sake alone.

Best of luck.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Awhile back I thought that it was ok to cheat for the same reasons listed by the pro-cheating crowd.
I concluded that I was wrong and the reason why is if a woman asks to be monogamous or implies she wants to be and you explicitly/implicitly agree to be exclusive then you shouldn't cheat. I'm just not a fan of breaking promises and to me if a man can't keep his vows to those he's closest to then I can't trust him to keep his word around me.

Having said that, if you need the variety then stay single or better yet find a woman that's open to swinging. Be careful with option 2 though, it requires 0 jealousy, setting boundaries, constant revisiting of said boundaries, and open and honest communication from both parties. Otherwise it will cause your marriage to fail one way or the other.

If you're hell-bent on cheating, then do the time-tested traveling businessman routine. Go out of town, and pay a lady of the night to take care of you. Having an affair with a regular woman (co-worker, acquaintance) is almost guaranteed to get you caught.

Regardless of whether you think its justified or not, understand that our society does not look kindly on cheaters, man or woman. If you get caught, your reputation will plummet, your wife will more than likely leave you and your kids will be emotionally damaged from the fallout. You have to really think this through and determine if that's an acceptable risk to take. Personally, I don't think its worth it for my children's sake alone.

Best of luck.

Fair point.

I'm not pro-cheating. Yes I agree that the best thing to do is to not get married or to have a wife who will turn a blind eye to the odd indiscretion as long as it doesn't impact on her life.

The problem with just saying 'Don't get married' is that 95 out of 100 girls will expect marriage after you have been together for a few years. I honestly can't think of one advantage for a man to get married (unless he is marrying for visa reasons which I don't think is that common).

So why do the vast majority of men get married? Because it is expected of them. And if they don't bow down to women demanding it, they will lose that woman.

It's like two parties are trying to agree a contract and one has vastly more bargaining power than the other. So she can get the guy to agree to the Draconian terms of modern marriage. The irony is the guy has more power than he thinks but doesn't realise it.

Clearly marriage as an institution isn't doing that well at the moment. It would be better if more guys turned around and said no to chicks demanding a contractual, state-involved commitment of them.

Anyway I know that's off track but the thread got pulled in this direction a bit.

 

[zekko]

You are being enslaved by a lie. European style marriage, traditional marriage of 1 man and 1 woman is not Biblical. According to the holy scriptures SEX IS MARRIAGE. The moment you penetrate a virgin woman that woman is your wife. That is marriage according to scripture not the church and the state who have used "traditional" marriage to control us.

Not so much the Biblical view, but the viewpoint of certain ancient cultures. It makes sense if you think about it - remember there was no birth control back then. A child would be a likely result of intercourse.

It sounds kind of like you are using this to argue for polygamy (very common back then). I honestly have no idea why polygamy is illegal, other than to give betas a better shot at getting a woman.

In addition, I am not married. If and when I do get married, the vows that I speak will be just that... vows. And I will take them very seriously because my honor will be on the line. We here are constantly berating women for speaking out of the emotion of the moment and then changing as circumstances suit them. And almost unbelievably, some of us here would do exactly the same thing that we blame them for.

Absolutely. A man whose word is worthless is without honor.

In marriage, a man and woman are supposed to become one. Obviously in today's culture this can be very difficult. But ideally that is what is supposed to happen. If you are the same flesh, you can't hurt her without hurting yourself. Or in other words, you can't cheat her without cheating yourself. That's the way it's supposed to be anyway. Too bad we live in such selfish times.

 

[LoneWolf]

Meh, let us know if you cheat on her or not. I'm interested in what happens.

 

[Zodiac]

Not really advice, but Chris Rock said that a man is only as loyal as his options....

Chris Rock is a great DJ. His routines strike a chord that resonates to my mindset.

 

[The_411]

Fair point.

I'm not pro-cheating. Yes I agree that the best thing to do is to not get married or to have a wife who will turn a blind eye to the odd indiscretion as long as it doesn't impact on her life.

The problem with just saying 'Don't get married' is that 95 out of 100 girls will expect marriage after you have been together for a few years. I honestly can't think of one advantage for a man to get married (unless he is marrying for visa reasons which I don't think is that common).

So why do the vast majority of men get married? Because it is expected of them. And if they don't bow down to women demanding it, they will lose that woman.

It's like two parties are trying to agree a contract and one has vastly more bargaining power than the other. So she can get the guy to agree to the Draconian terms of modern marriage. The irony is the guy has more power than he thinks but doesn't realise it.

Clearly marriage as an institution isn't doing that well at the moment. It would be better if more guys turned around and said no to chicks demanding a contractual, state-involved commitment of them.

Anyway I know that's off track but the thread got pulled in this direction a bit.

I went there because the main problem is that marriage should be done because you want to do it not because you're afraid she'll walk or she won't stay if there's no ring forthcoming.

More guys need to let women walk. Sure, it's not an easy decision, but the reason there are so many divorces is that people rush into things and don't really understand what the commitment means and the implications of making that commitment.

Like anything in life deal from a position of strength. Wanting to get married is a position of strength... getting married because it is expected of you is a position of weakness even if you're mostly behind the marriage but still feel like you need to do it because it is expected.

Otherwise you are just gambling with your future earnings and life satisfcation.

 

[Down Low]

So . . . what's the update?

Real good thread I wish I'd read it before. Just top drawer stuff.

Judging by the OPs background, he never did an honest day's work in his life. He's just bouncing through life on a male version of a banal single-chick reckless adventure. He does whatever to fvck he feels like doing, whenever to fvck he feels like doing it. His wife sees positive evidence of cheating in his phone behavior, and she cranked up her emotional attachment in response, so it's obvious she knows. She's hurting bad but the OP is self-centered and inconsiderate of the feelings of others -- just like the chicks he despises. He either doesn't recognize her pain for what it is, or he does and blows it off.

Well, the OP is the feminist cartoon image of manwh0re-as-real-man. He'll lose his house, kids, and bank when she divorces him. And it'll be sooner rather than later. There's no play without pay.

BTW, the stuff about Biblical marriage being when you stick it in -- is very true. Lowering one's personal barriers (to rejection) and fighting one's very strong inhibitions against that: this is an enormous part of basic human psychology. That's where the deep-seated emotions of jealousy, betrayal, feelings of being sexually neglected, trauma, etc., come from. But it's horse sh1t to say that it's OK to cheat on your wife by going looking for another one. Religions just do that to suck up to rich azzholes who never grew up and act like silly chicks their whole lives. The great majority of men have always been slaves/serfs/laborers and could never afford to pay a wh0re for one pus-stinking go, much less have a second wife. Most marriages were arranged anyway, so it's not like men and women practiced the very recent invention of "dating" anyway. Also, until very recently, most people went through puberty in their late teens -- not at 12 or 10 like today. A few societies did, where they ate a lot of meat, but most didn't.

Sticking your d1ck in IS marriage. The minute you go after a second woman, you started a lifetime of s1ssified hypergamy, cheating, and self-deprecation.

 

[ositosucio]

yo mama is the only guy that makes sense here and he is 100% right.

In Asia they have ***** houses and wives KNOW their husband frequent them. They understand that men need to **** other women as they need to take dumps. It is biology. All this moral crap has nothing to do with it.

It makes marriages last longer for ****s sake!

 

[SharinganUser]

yo mama is the only guy that makes sense here and he is 100% right.

In Asia they have ***** houses and wives KNOW their husband frequent them. They understand that men need to **** other women as they need to take dumps. It is biology. All this moral crap has nothing to do with it.

It makes marriages last longer for ****s sake!

He's talking non-sense. If you can't keep your **** in your pants, then it's really simple. Don't get married. If you don't believe in monogamy, then the solution is to not get married. It doesn't make sense to risk destroying other people's lives and your own included just because want to bust a nut.

And FYI the divorce rates in Asia are sky rocketing.

 

[LiveFreeX]

get a hobby.

 

[Mr.Positive]

That being said, I don't want that to happen. She is a good woman and none of this is any of her fault. She is a better wife than I could have asked for, and maybe better than I deserve at this point, to be honest. I take complete blame for even having these thoughts and feelings and feel like a complete P.O.S. for it. I am going to work on my mental state and try and get this resolved internally....

Marmel, in my 39 years of life, one of things I'm most proud of is that I can look back on my life, and have no regrets.

This is something to think about. You seem like you know you would regret cheating on your wife. You know it would hurt her, and even 10 years down the road you'd still regret it.

Some of the posters here could cheat without thinking about it. That's them, but you seem to know that it would hurt your wife, and ruin your family.

It's not worth it. Don't beat yourself up for thinking about it, all healthy men have strong urges, but there's a big difference between thinking about it and actually cheating. Think of your kids too.

You've been fortunate to sow your oats a lot more than most guys. Look back on those times without regrets, but don't go creating regrets for your future.

 

[AAAgent]

I can see this feeling eat you alive and tear apart your relationship if you don't handle it.

I agree with Positive. Live a life full of no regrets. That's where my agreement ends.

I always try to do the right thing...and am generally a nice guy but being extremely hot headed i frequently let me emotions take control over me. I cheated for the sake of cheating and knowing i could to get even with my ex because she lied about her number of partners.

I felt like sh1t the entire relationship whenever she treated me well because i hid it from her. It had nothing to do with her and had to do with me.

Also what one of the first posters said it probably true as well. There's nothing wrong with your relationship.....there's also no spark for YOU. There's a spark for her though. You going out, being distant to her, not telling her your problems (not that you should) is causing a fire for her and all her efforts are trying to put out the fire. Her efforts in turn only start a few sparks for you.

I wanted to be an archaeologist for 15 years since i watched my first Indiana Jones movie, and then the Mummy just made me want to do it even more. Ontop of all that i loved history, wars, and getting down and dirty. I never committed to Archaeology because it made no money. Last year i was fed up debating and picking up these books to read about archaeology and studying on and off for grad school that i may never go to, I saved up all my vacation days and applied for a bunch of volunteer programs and went to Greece/Albania for a month and volunteered for an underwater Archaeology project.

I don't want to be an archaeologist anymore for various reason, but at least now i know and i don't have to waste time contemplating and studying.

Last year i also had my first One Night Stand (ONS). I've had chances before but it just never interested me. I always appreciated a connection as opposed to random pvssy. I rejected the girl at least a 10 times until she was about to cry from me being so mean to her and i just fvcked her. I will never know how "Fun" it is to be fvcking b1tches left and right until i just try it right.

Well it wasn't fun. I could barely stay hard and the girl just kept trying to please me. Well now i know ONS's aren't to my pleasing and i'm not missing out on much.


This will eat you up if you do nothing. There are fantasies and there are urges that must be quenched. This clearly doesn't sound like a fantasy that you can suppress. Sure i'd like a 3 some with my girls best friends but i can live without it and it doesn't keep me up at night.

Now i'm not advocating cheating. Sit down and let your wife know your going through sh1t. You need some time alone. figure your sh1t out however which way you need to, but figure it out. Also take some time off from her. It's healthy to have space, I should know of all people as i do everything to the max.

If you're wife is as good as you say she is, she will let you figure it out and be waiting for you when you return. If not, that's also a risk you should be prepared to face. If you decide to cheat, I'd tell her and be a man about it. You seem as much a man as any of us here and i don't see you having a problem doing that, but you'll also understand if this ruins your marriage and family. Perhaps she'll even provide a compromise you're willing to accept. She obviously knows she's losing you without you telling her you want to fvck other girls. She might even think you have cheated but best keep that at only a thought.

Either way, you are risking your family. If you do nothing you can live this life and possibly withhold these urges and maybe cheat later on, or even maybe not cheat but keeping this in will definitely cause turmoil as it is now for you. If you do decide to put out the fire and quench your thirst, also know that sure your wife may be understanding, and take you back. Life may even go back to normal after all that or you maybe be visiting your kids during daddy visiting hours and dropping them back off at their home and going back alone to yours.

Be prepared for the consequences either way.

 

[JadedClear]

my first post on a forum that changed my life..

He's talking non-sense. If you can't keep your **** in your pants, then it's really simple. Don't get married. If you don't believe in monogamy, then the solution is to not get married. It doesn't make sense to risk destroying other people's lives and your own included just because want to bust a nut.

And FYI the divorce rates in Asia are sky rocketing.

bingo.. i lost a lot of respect for tiger woods and kobe bryant for what they did, not because of what they did, but how they did it... it was extremely evident that they wanted their cake and to eat it too..

the insecure guy gets married sometimes just so OTHER guys can't have her..which is a step deeper than just them not having her.

this guy admitted to being beta and having no game prior to the marriage for christs sake... so the reasons for him getting married are pretty obvious.. now he is perceived as more alpha and wants to change his lifestyle.. well BE HONEST ABOUT IT. it's like you are still struggling with the old you and not adapting to the new you.. history repeating itself?

People like you, and some others in this thread O.P.. literally lie to themselves and the girl all because they aren't able to admit their own weaknesses.. it literally makes me sick that i had to read this thread and hear people justify being a LIAR and DISHONEST.. lol, if you want to go through your life with people having an enormous of contempt for you, or sabotaging you, this is a great philosophy to have. But forget other people, you'll never realize your full potential. This isn't just about karma, (which is a copout to me), this is about cause and effect...and ultimately, progress.

guys who lie about their true intentions have nothing to do with being a good DJ.. a great DJ, the DJs who have taught me WELL i might add, is hellbent on truth.. real truth.. knowing EXACTLY what the moment is telling you and all the layers that go with it as far as possible outcomes are concerned. You obviously didn't when you got married.

here's some truth for you O.P.. until you can kick the urge, you shouldn't be married. And if you have a problem denying that urge, you should be denying the marriage. You, and anyone else this applies to, need to have a real honest talk with yourselves, and if you can do it without sounding pathetic (which i highly doubt by how dishonest you've been with yourself) then you should especially talk to her about this... but i'd be very wary of letting her see the real 'you' at this point after having been dishonest for so long.. it's like telling a dog not to pee on the carpet after two years of just letting the **** slide.. it doesn't work that well... and forget regretting cheating, you probably already regret the marriage, which is worse? regrets are regrets are regrets. This could of all been avoided if you had shown more prudence from the get go about who you were... which is leading to who you are.

I'm sorry to be so crass but there's not much i dislike more than a liar or a cheat... i actually despise them more than thieves. Hopefully you haven't jumped the shark yet...even if you have, hopefully this helps some other dishonest fool. To me it's the ultimate sign of a poser 'alpha' when i hear them have to lie in order to get the girl.

I'm glad to see some people do get it in this thread.. i can practically guarantee that not only is their love life fulfilling, but more importantly the rest of their lives as well. Girls are secondary.. but dignity, integrity, honesty (without being naive), that always comes first.. girls or no girls.. if you want to get anywhere substantial in life and leave a good legacy that is. As far as i'm concerned there are two types of people.. man or women it doesn't matter.. those who waste your time, and those that bring the best out of you. which one do you want to be remembered as?

To some people this simply doesn't matter, they are too caught up 'in the moment' with the girl... as well as other things. Don't get caught up. being in the moment doesn't mean losing complete site of the future...the girl will eventually take control in guys who fake the funk. Might be too late for you O.P.. but to the rest of you men out there, for the love of God, marriage should never be a last recourse.

As atom said, honor is everything. And i can completely relate to the leadership position analogy he used in my own life.. i also deal with the worst kind of sociopaths in my business.. unavoidably i might add if i want to get paid. Most of them are famous.. dealing with girls is a joke compared to the psychology involved in dealing with some of these people... One of the most pathetic things to me is to watch certain celebrities, much like this guy was as a disc jockey, get completely used and abused by girls because their status never allowed them to learn the ultimate truth.

step 1 : hot girl attracted to famous guy.. for being RICH and FAMOUS.. no other reason.

step 2: famous guy gets open on hot girl.. doing every beta thing under the sun.. you'd be shocked at how often this happens.

step 3: girl meets me, no fame and nowhere near the amount of money these famous guys have, and without sounding arrogant, i could take them away without a second thought.. the famous guys practically tee it up with how beta they are.. and the worst part is.. they do it AROUND people like that they have to do business with. absolutely no shame in their *****like behavior. i mean they are famous.. who's going to tell them to stop? the girl just assumes more and more control subconsciously through the power of their *****.. you guys who think with your ****s have already lost the war. forget the battle. i could care less about which girl, future or past, reads what i'm writing here.. you LIARS would never get ***** again if they saw who you were.. you have no game.

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." George Orwell..

DONT GET CAUGHT UP. YOU ARE THE MAN, YOU LEAD. PERIOD. MARRIAGE IS THE ULTIMATE COMPROMISE!!! UNLESS IT CAN BE POLYGAMOUS IT IS NOT FOR ALPHA MALES!! EVERRRRR!!!!

 

[Burroughs]

from this article
http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html


For one thing, the wedding itself has gone from a solemn event attended only by close family and friends, to an extravaganza of conspicuous consumption for the enjoyment of women but financed by the hapless man. The wedding ring itself used to be a family heirloom passed down over generations, but now, the bride thumbs through a catalog that shows her rings that the man is expected to spend two months of his salary to buy. This presumption that somehow the woman is to be indulged for entering marriage is a complete reversal of centuries-old traditions grounded in biological realities (and evidence of how American men have become weak pushovers). In India, for example, it is normal even today for either the bride's father to pay for the wedding, or for the bride's family to give custody of all wedding jewelry to the groom's family. The reason for this was so that the groom's family effectively had a 'security bond' against irresponsible behavior on the part of the bride, such as her leaving the man at the (Indian equivalent of the) altar, or fleeing the marital home at the first sign of distress (also a common female psychological response). For those wondering why Indian culture has such restrictions on women and not men, restrictions on men were tried in some communities, and those communities quickly vanished and were forgotten. There is no avoiding the reality that marriage has to be made attractive to men for the surrounding civilization to survive. Abuse and blackmail of women certainly occurred in some instances, but on balance, these customs existed through centuries of observing the realities of human behavior. Indian civilization has survived for over 5000 years and every challenge imaginable through enforcement of these customs, and, until recently, the Christian world also had comparable mechanisms to steer individual behavior away from destructive manifestations. However, if the wedding has mutated into a carnival of bridezilla narcissism, the mechanics of divorce are far more disastrous.

In an 'at will' employment arrangement between a corporation and an employee, either party can terminate the contract at any time. However, instead of a few weeks of severance, imagine what would happen if the employer was legally required to pay the employee half of his or her paycheck for 20 additional years, irrespective of anything the employee did or did not do, under penalty of imprisonment for the CEO. Suppose, additionally, that it is culturally encouraged for an employee to do this whenever even minor dissatisfaction arises. Would businesses be able to operate? Would anyone want to be a CEO? Would businesses even form, and thus would any wealth be created, given the risks associated with hiring an employee?

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Adding more fuel to the fire (Why marrying for money is not a bad idea):
http://edition.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/06/tf.marrying.for.money/index.html?eref=rss_us

 

[Burroughs]

Seriously lol that CNN chick should just kill herself

she writes "I also would immediately disqualify entering into a sharing-bank-accounts relationship with a man who proved to be irresponsible with his cash. College loan debt is fine (I've got it) and a reasonable balance on the credit card debt is understandable (I've got that, too). But I couldn't wrap up my life or my children's lives around someone who spent or managed money irresponsibly. I don't want to deal with that drama 'cause I know we'd just argue about it all the time"

so she just wants a guy to pay her debt only disguising it as typical 'you go girl' rhetoric...why not just legalize prostitution so these biatches can take it up the azz for cash prizes which is about all they deserve.

THIS BIATCH IS ALREADY MENTALLY ALLOCATING AND SPENDING THE MONEY OF A MAN SHE HASN'T EVEN MET YET!!!!!

 

[Buddha_Mind]

OP --

I have had to work hard for my body. I have never found the subject of women to come naturally, I've always been timid and this whole arena has taken incredible amounts of work and "putting myself out there" and dealing with rejection and going into LTRs and making mistakes and crashing and burning...please understand from your posts that I wish I had a life like yours. This does not mean I would like to be you or would be happy in your shoes--but what you have is rare, you worked to find this woman, you were proud of what you'd acquired and she treats you well.

I know, from having testosterone also, that sexual urges (i have noticed this as I wasn't always jacked and now am decently ripped) are very strong. I know for a fact weight lifting increases those sexual urges and even aggression. It's normal for you to want to fvck other beautiful shapely women. But you have to express self-control, and you have to find a way to pour that energy back into your family. One poster said it well--take ur wife out on dates, setup crazy sexual kinky nights--IDK, man there must be plenty-of-things you could do beyond 3x a day to really kick up the excitement in your sex life with your wife.

You got a great thing going on! Lots of sex! Lots of love in your life! Don't fvck this up by being the fat-kid reaching for too many donuts! Be proud of your life, take your angst and funnel it into something positive to reap more of the good things you have!

Many posters envy your situation! Many of us are quite alone and lacking even companionship (beyond just sex). Be thankful and count your blessings. Muscles and people don't last forever.