A warning to those considering marriage...

[floydb25]

People telling him to cheat must not know what karma is. It sure does love to go around kicking ass. Cheaters and players always get what's coming to them eventually. Then, they are the ones whining like helpless little girls; playing the victim and throwing a pity-party; and somehow feeling justified in doing what they started doing in the first place (ie, being worthless wastes of space). I just sit back and lolz at them. You get what you deserve. It always finds its way back to you. No one to blame but yourself. Etc, etc.

Don't do anything that you'll regret later. You might want to fool around or whatever, but what happens when you realize its not really what you want - only to find her long gone, off with another man, raising another family, and hating your guts? Hmmm? Gotta think these things through.

It may seem like no big deal now, because you are already involved with her. You can see those greener pastures. But, what happens when she leaves? How would you feel then? You gotta imagine your life without her... You can't do that if she is already there. But, once you find out its not what you want - she could already be gone, and you'll be too late.

Since she is nice as you say, you don't wanna be a selfish jackass, and use her as a safety net while you do your own thing and decide what you want. You don't deserve to be married if you do that, and should jump off a cliff.

 

[Yo'Mama]

People telling him to cheat must not know what karma is. It sure does love to go around kicking ass. Cheaters and players always get what's coming to them eventually. Then, they are the ones whining like helpless little girls; playing the victim and throwing a pity-party; and somehow feeling justified in doing what they started doing in the first place (ie, being worthless wastes of space). I just sit back and lolz at them. You get what you deserve. It always finds its way back to you. No one to blame but yourself. Etc, etc.

Don't do anything that you'll regret later. You might want to fool around or whatever, but what happens when you realize its not really what you want - only to find her long gone, off with another man, raising another family, and hating your guts? Hmmm? Gotta think these things through.

It may seem like no big deal now, because you are already involved with her. You can see those greener pastures. But, what happens when she leaves? How would you feel then? You gotta imagine your life without her... You can't do that if she is already there. But, once you find out its not what you want - she could already be gone, and you'll be too late.

Since she is nice as you say, you don't wanna be a selfish jackass, and use her as a safety net while you do your own thing and decide what you want. You don't deserve to be married if you do that, and should jump off a cliff.

To be clear I do really respect posters like Floyd and 5-String and generally agree with everything they say.

I don't know, for me, as a guy, putting your c*ck in a different hole isn't such a big deal. It doesn't mean I don't love my wife, it's just physical relieve, one step up from masturbation. I think the problem is for women it IS a big deal and as with so many other things in our society men have been brainwashed into sharing women's values then believing that they are our own values.

I don't think this guy should cheat because he will probably end up feeling guilty, telling his wife and wrecking everything. But for guys that do cheat and don't feel bad and treat their wives well otherwise, good luck to them. Jump off a cliff? It's harsh isn't it? It's not murder or theft or some other crime that causes injury. It can cause misery but that's why you owe it to your wife to be very discreet about this. I think probably using a professional is the best thing to do, if you don't mind doing that. No strings, no recriminations, just a simple cash transaction.

I can understand when women get hysterical about cheating but not when guys do the same.

So far nobody can say why cheating is wrong if your wife doesn't find out and there is no risk of her finding out. I can say murder is wrong because the victim and his/her family suffer. Same with theft, arson, whatever. But if a guy sticks his **** in another hole and the wife doesn't find out, please tell me who has been out. Be concrete and specific, don't just rely on abstract concepts like what is honourable or honest.

We live for about 80 years on this planet, one of billions of people on one of an infinite number of planets. Then we are dead forever. Do you really want to live your life conforming to what others expect of you rather than what you want and need? There has to be a balance I agree, but if you can do this without anyone being affected then what's the harm? Of course if you're religious then this doesn't apply but I'm not so am arguing this from a non religious viewpoint.

Please try not to get all emotional (which is women's reaction) and explain to me again why this is so bad.

Ideally women would just be more realistic and realise that their husband needs the occasional fresh piece of ass, give him a bit of a 'Tut-tut, you've been a naughty boy' and just get on with things. But they won't.

 

[Von_S]

Cheat on your club skanks, cheat on your girlfriend, hell, cheat on your fiance; but don't cheat on your wife.

Yeah its tough, but you got married because you were committed to locking this one down. She was different than all the hoes who were on your jock.

If you do cheat one two things will happen:

1) You'll do it once, feel horrible and wear it like an anchor on your neck forever (or until you screw up and say something)
2) You'll justify it and cheat frequently and eventually get found out: Disaster

However you justify it to yourself it won't turn out good, you carry and hide the guilt from her or face her when she knows.

Talk to a therapist, alone. Don't even tell her, just schedule a visit during your normal gym session and get it off your chest to someone in person. Have a candid conversation with someone who won't judge you.

My parents got divorced because my dad cheated on my mom and it eventually ruined my family. I always swore to myself I'd never cheat on my wife.... which is why I'm still single :rockon:

 

[C-quenced]

You've got a lot growing up to do. The effects of what he's contemplating are invisible to you, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. It only means you are blind to them and therefore rail against (and childishly label) someone who points them out. The ONLY thing that will ever to allow you to understand this is life experience, and clearly you don't have enough of that yet.

54 years old and this is the best you can do? I know what the possible consequences are in these kinds of situations. I'm no where near as inexperienced as you attempt to make yourself and others believe.

And to counter one of your silly statements, he will indeed find peace of mind if he finds integrity.

Integrity by whose definition? Yours? I honestly don't think the OP ever asked for the moralists on here to preach to him about what they FEEL is right vs wrong. In the end he'll have to decide for himself on whats best for him regardless of what anyone on this forum says, but for the time being quit using guilt and other negative emotions to hinder his decision making.

 

[Yo'Mama]

54 years old and this is the best you can do? I know what the possible consequences are in these kinds of situations. I'm no where near as inexperienced as you attempt to make yourself and others believe.



Integrity by whose definition? Yours? I honestly don't think the OP ever asked for the moralists on here to preach to him about what they FEEL is right vs wrong. In the end he'll have to decide for himself on whats best for him regardless of what anyone on this forum says, but for the time being quit using guilt and other negative emotions to hinder his decision making.

They won't listen dude. They were told certain things growing up (mostly by women) and now these handed down viewpoints are core moral principles in these guys. Having moral principles is fine but I think it's important to at least understand that morality is relative and not engraved in nature.

Congratulations all you guys - you have bought into the very lie that is absolutely most suited to women's agenda, i.e that a lifetime of servitude and monogamy is what it takes to be a decent guy. They get everything they want and need (children, a provider and regular ****) and you get to tell yourself what good guys you are.

 

[damnsam]

They won't listen dude. They were told certain things growing up (mostly by women) and now these handed down viewpoints are core moral principles in these guys. Having moral principles is fine but I think it's important to at least understand that morality is relative and not engraved in nature.

Congratulations all you guys - you have bought into the very lie that is absolutely most suited to women's agenda, i.e that a lifetime of servitude and monogamy is what it takes to be a decent guy. They get everything they want and need (children, a provider and regular ****) and you get to tell yourself what good guys you are.

Interesting perspectives and I like there are two ends of the spectrum on the whole issue of morality. Although values and morals are relative I think the majority of people wouldn't disagree with treating others they way you would like to be treated? In a pure animalistic point of view acting on your physical desires is simply natural, however humans have a higher capacity of having a conscience and ability to make a choice that goes against their natural desires. The very fact marmel75 created this post shows he has some conscience and some moral compass, ability to think, and ultimately can choose to follow his own conscience or give into his physical desires.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Interesting perspectives and I like there are two ends of the spectrum on the whole issue of morality. Although values and morals are relative I think the majority of people wouldn't disagree with treating others they way you would like to be treated? In a pure animalistic point of view acting on your physical desires is simply natural, however humans have a higher capacity of having a conscience and ability to make a choice that goes against their natural desires. The very fact marmel75 created this post shows he has some conscience and some moral compass, ability to think, and ultimately can choose to follow his own conscience or give into his physical desires.

Right, and I think he shouldn't cheat because he probably will end up feeling guilty. I just find it funny that the reaction to cheating is so over the top, even on this site when the guys here are supposed to have taken the red pill.

I maintain that it's different for women because they cheat for different reasons and because during sex the man goes inside the women, he penetrates her and may even deposit a load into her. Every new guy a woman sleeps with she gives up a little piece of her soul. Sex is a big deal for the vast majority of women whereas guys are just looking for some release.

Women will also usually lose the desire for sex after a couple of kids. How about guys that are married to women that don't want to have sex? Surely it's ok to cheat then? To those of you who say even in that circumstance it's better to break up the marriage I would say it's amazing that you claim to be concerned with doing what is right but would still actively encourage someone to break up a whole family rather than have a bit of discreet and meaningless sex outside of the marriage.

 

[Slickster]

In my experience, every time you cheat it's like tiny little daggers stabbing you in the heart. At first it doesn't bother you much. There might be a little twinge of pain here and there, but you justify it to yourself as "worth it". You move on and continue to cheat. It gets easier and easier and you get used to those little twinges of pain until it doesn't bother you at all. You haven't been caught so nobody is getting hurt, so you think. Then somewhere down the road you look at yourself in the mirror and all you see are the scars. All the good stuff you thought you had is gone. It's been tainted and there is no way you can get it back. You traded it all for a some brief moments of fun. You realize that all this time you've been cheating yourself.


The OP has something that so many people wish for. A great wife and a great family to go with it. He even has the experience (good and bad) to know what he has and appreciate it. A sexual history that most guys would kill for and be happy with. It's sad to see someone with a seemingly great life fall victim to his penis. Even worse to see others pulling him down.


Marmel, don't look at your marriage in a negative light and glamorize the idea of screwing other women. Instead remember how you felt in the morning kicking those skanks out of your house way back when. Think of all the good times you've had with your family. The birthdays, the family get togethers, the Xmas's, etc. Now picture your life without all that great family stuff. Picture your life stuck hanging with those stupid skanks. Cuz even if you don't get caught, that is where your life is headed.....

 

[blackwolf]

In my experience, every time you cheat it's like tiny little daggers stabbing you in the heart. At first it doesn't bother you much. There might be a little twinge of pain here and there, but you justify it to yourself as "worth it". You move on and continue to cheat. It gets easier and easier and you get used to those little twinges of pain until it doesn't bother you at all. You haven't been caught so nobody is getting hurt, so you think. Then somewhere down the road you look at yourself in the mirror and all you see are the scars. All the good stuff you thought you had is gone. It's been tainted and there is no way you can get it back. You traded it all for a some brief moments of fun. You realize that all this time you've been cheating yourself.


The OP has something that so many people wish for. A great wife and a great family to go with it. He even has the experience (good and bad) to know what he has and appreciate it. A sexual history that most guys would kill for and be happy with. It's sad to see someone with a seemingly great life fall victim to his penis. Even worse to see others pulling him down.


Marmel, don't look at your marriage in a negative light and glamorize the idea of screwing other women. Instead remember how you felt in the morning kicking those skanks out of your house way back when. Think of all the good times you've had with your family. The birthdays, the family get togethers, the Xmas's, etc. Now picture your life without all that great family stuff. Picture your life stuck hanging with those stupid skanks. Cuz even if you don't get caught, that is where your life is headed.....

Best post in this thread. Hope the OP reads it well.

 

[sighsigh]

The OP lusts because he has nothing better to do. He was a player in his youth, but at age 37 he apparently still has nothing important going on in his life to top scoring fresh girls. So he still goes to nightclubs and parties and most likely spends the rest of his free time in the gym for multiple hours 5-6 days a week. Probably has no real career to focus on, lets the wife raise the children (in addition to the cooking, cleaning...) etc. etc. etc.

OP, this is less of a solution and more an abstract statement: GIVE YOUR LIFE SOME MEANING. You lust like a 20-year-old because you still live life like a 20-year-old.

Start with your children.

 

[GoodForm]

Mate, surely you know how the story goes? You will regret it badly when you cheat and come crawling back to her. Things will then get from bad to worse blah blah blah... Long story short, kharma will get you. You have got something good here, is it really worth screwing things up?

Like all these posters above me have said, make a better scenario out of this situation. Spice things up with your wife, focus on the kids, pick up a hobby; make your life meaningful.

 

[C-quenced]

They won't listen dude. They were told certain things growing up (mostly by women) and now these handed down viewpoints are core moral principles in these guys. Having moral principles is fine but I think it's important to at least understand that morality is relative and not engraved in nature.

Congratulations all you guys - you have bought into the very lie that is absolutely most suited to women's agenda, i.e that a lifetime of servitude and monogamy is what it takes to be a decent guy. They get everything they want and need (children, a provider and regular ****) and you get to tell yourself what good guys you are.

I hear you man. I hate to say it but we're wasting our time. There's just no hope for so many of these guys. The most you and I can come to expect out of this is to analyze the content they're constantly regurgitating and come to a better understanding of the inner workings of their minds. Nothing more, nothing less. Just be glad it's not us and best of luck to the OP.

 

[Yo'Mama]

I hear you man. I hate to say it but we're wasting our time. There's just no hope for so many of these guys. The most you and I can come to expect out of this is to analyze the content they're constantly regurgitating and come to a better understanding of the inner workings of their minds. Nothing more, nothing less. Just be glad it's not us and best of luck to the OP.

Yep I'm with you all the way. It's interesting to see that when it comes down to it the supposedly liberated guys (always talking about freeing themselves from the Matrix) on here are basically conservative moralists at heart and have embraced values handed down to them without really questioning what those values are based on.

To everyone else - I wouldn't ever tell a guy to go cheat on his wife. I'm just saying that you're all getting it way out of proportion and reacting like a bunch of hysterical girls (this doesn't apply to a few posters who have responded calmly and rationally to the view C-quenced and I expressed but which they nonetheless disagree with).

Also what I am saying is that cheating is ok even if the wife is totally pure, loving and faithful. In reality how likely is that? Even if she has been a good wife the chances are she had a bunch of alpha c*cks up her and just chose a good Beta provider to settle down with. Like I said before just because a woman is your life mate it doesn't mean you share agendas. And believe me she DOES have an agenda and by marrying her and impregnated her, have no doubt you have helped her realise that agenda.

If you don't have a strong urge to cheat then fine don't do it. Better not to. But if you feel tormented by the desire to sleep with other women and can do so without feeling guilty then go ahead. If you do feel guilty it's because you have been programmed that way, not because you have done anything inherently wrong. If you had been brought up in a culture where it was considered fine to sleep around then you wouldn't feel guilty at all.

It's also funny when guys come out with the bull**** statement 'A real man doesn't cheat'. Who the hell are you to define what a real man is? Muhammad Ali wasn't a real man? He's more of a real man than any of the posters on here, me included. It's the same kind of shaming you hate chicks doing.

 

[Atom Smasher]

54 years old and this is the best you can do? I know what the possible consequences are in these kinds of situations. I'm no where near as inexperienced as you attempt to make yourself and others believe.



Integrity by whose definition? Yours? I honestly don't think the OP ever asked for the moralists on here to preach to him about what they FEEL is right vs wrong. In the end he'll have to decide for himself on whats best for him regardless of what anyone on this forum says, but for the time being quit using guilt and other negative emotions to hinder his decision making.

No, not the best I can do. I greatly limit my investments when there is no possibilty of positive yield.

But for the sake of some others, some of you guys have grown up with a sense of relative morality, and that is really sad. It can't be wrong if nobody finds out about it, right? That seems to be the consensus of a select few here. Just take a look around you. Look at the shape the world is in. Male/female relationships are in the toilet.

I don't accept your scarlet letter label of "moralist". You yourself adhere to a code of morals (albeit not my code) and you would be the first to come crying here if some woman cheated on you and you found out about it. You would call her every name in the book, each of which would question her moral character.

And your buddy here talks about embracing values that were handed down, without really questioning what those values are based on... Actually, most men who live by integrity have questioned their values with a lot more depth than you could ever muster (this is made clear by the nature of your adolescent ranting), and have decided that fulfilling vows, abiding by contracts, keeping promises, and generally living a life of integrity is the only way to be a man of self-respect and who can garner the respect of others.

Since I live and breathe that philosophy, literally everywhere I go I rise to a leadership position. That is because people innately understand that they want their top dog to be reliable, resourceful and trustworthy. Those are the only people I ever want to deal with, myself. The rest, the relativists, live and die in a little slice of the world where they eak out an existence by lving for themselves and grabbing whatever they can whenever they can. In case you don't get it, I'm talking about a life of lack and dumpster diving.

Life has become a banquet for me, and that is because I have honed my character to be a man worthy of respect and worthy of leadership.

Hmmm... Perhaps I should change because a couple of kids here on an Internet forum are displeased with my thoughts on integrity and keeping vows...

 

[5string]

As far as my perspective goes, morality has nothing to do with this. The OP wants some strange poon in spite of a really good marriage and a wife that fvcks him silly. His wife has stepped up and honored her vows. Plus, from what he said, she's making a real effort to make it work by cooking, cleaning, fvcking and taking care of the kids. Under these circumstances, his wife should be the only one who rides his d!ck.

She earned that right. OP should honor his commitment to her. Does not everyone on here say to judge a woman by her actions?

You be the judge.

 

[5string]

No, not the best I can do. I greatly limit my investments when there is no possibilty of positive yield.

But for the sake of some others, some of you guys have grown up with a sense of relative morality, and that is really sad. It can't be wrong if nobody finds out about it, right? That seems to be the consensus of a select few here. Just take a look around you. Look at the shape the world is in. Male/female relationships are in the toilet.

I don't accept your scarlet letter label of "moralist". You yourself adhere to a code of morals (albeit not my code) and you would be the first to come crying here if some woman cheated on you and you found out about it. You would call her every name in the book, each of which would question her moral character.

And your buddy here talks about embracing values that were handed down, without really questioning what those values are based on... Actually, most men who live by integrity have questioned their values with a lot more depth than you could ever muster (this is made clear by the nature of your adolescent ranting), and have decided that fulfilling vows, abiding by contracts, keeping promises, and generally living a life of integrity is the only way to be a man of self-respect and who can garner the respect of others.

Since I live and breathe that philosophy, literally everywhere I go I rise to a leadership position. That is because people innately understand that they want their top dog to be reliable, resourceful and trustworthy. Those are the only people I ever want to deal with, myself. The rest, the relativists, live and die in a little slice of the world where they eak out an existence by lving for themselves and grabbing whatever they can whenever they can. In case you don't get it, I'm talking about a life of lack and dumpster diving.

Life has become a banquet for me, and that is because I have honed my character to be a man worthy of respect and worthy of leadership.

Hmmm... Perhaps I should change because a couple of kids here on an Internet forum are displeased with my thoughts on integrity and keeping vows...

I'd rep you if I could Atom. Very well said. I hope the children listen to your wise words.

 

[zekko]

Congratulations all you guys - you have bought into the very lie that is absolutely most suited to women's agenda, i.e that a lifetime of servitude and monogamy is what it takes to be a decent guy. They get everything they want and need (children, a provider and regular ****) and you get to tell yourself what good guys you are.

No one has put a gun to anybody's head and told them to get married. If a man wants to spend his entire life screwing multiple women, why get married?

Anyway, the whole feminine shaming idea doesn't hold water. By cheating you are deceiving your life partner (that you chose to have). Who the heck thinks that is a good idea? Why do you think it's called cheating?

 

[PokerStar]

you truly dont know what you got until its gone.

 

[Yo'Mama]

No, not the best I can do. I greatly limit my investments when there is no possibilty of positive yield.

But for the sake of some others, some of you guys have grown up with a sense of relative morality, and that is really sad. It can't be wrong if nobody finds out about it, right? That seems to be the consensus of a select few here. Just take a look around you. Look at the shape the world is in. Male/female relationships are in the toilet.

I don't accept your scarlet letter label of "moralist". You yourself adhere to a code of morals (albeit not my code) and you would be the first to come crying here if some woman cheated on you and you found out about it. You would call her every name in the book, each of which would question her moral character.

And your buddy here talks about embracing values that were handed down, without really questioning what those values are based on... Actually, most men who live by integrity have questioned their values with a lot more depth than you could ever muster (this is made clear by the nature of your adolescent ranting), and have decided that fulfilling vows, abiding by contracts, keeping promises, and generally living a life of integrity is the only way to be a man of self-respect and who can garner the respect of others.

Since I live and breathe that philosophy, literally everywhere I go I rise to a leadership position. That is because people innately understand that they want their top dog to be reliable, resourceful and trustworthy. Those are the only people I ever want to deal with, myself. The rest, the relativists, live and die in a little slice of the world where they eak out an existence by lving for themselves and grabbing whatever they can whenever they can. In case you don't get it, I'm talking about a life of lack and dumpster diving.

Life has become a banquet for me, and that is because I have honed my character to be a man worthy of respect and worthy of leadership.

Hmmm... Perhaps I should change because a couple of kids here on an Internet forum are displeased with my thoughts on integrity and keeping vows...

More sanctimonious, 'Look at what a great and virtuous guy I am' drivel. No-one is telling you to cheat on your wife. You keep at that pvssy, no matter how old and dry it gets. Banquet? Seems more like prison food.

 

[The_411]

Interesting thread. I don't quite get the concept of chastizing guys for not being pro-cheating. Nobody puts a gun to your head and forces you to marry. You yourself make that choice. So if you elect to make that choice man up and own your ****.

Guess what if it isn't working for you then man up and leave.

I'm not sure why this is such a difficult concept for people to grasp.

"But wait what about the kids ..."

Don't people constantly espouse the concept of owning your ****, and taking responsibility. If it ain't working you end it. That's keeping the power. By staying in soemthing that isn't working then you've lost the power.

Why enter a contract with the perception that the contract is unfair and then elect to ignore its terms.

Why even bother with marriage to begin with?

Nobody is saying that it's wrong to sleep with as many women you like I'm just questioning the why people make a decision inconsistent with their moral compass and then elect to say f it all.