zekko said:
With all the emphasis on self improvement around here, why not aim high? The guys who are taking care of their body and working on their careers are turning themselves into good catches. I see no downside to being a good catch. To me, being a good provider type doesn't mean you're going to be spending all your money on a girl. It just means you can afford to pay the bills. Which is a good thing.
It also means that you can operate with women successfully both short term and long term, you have the option. The whole "girls fvck the bad boy and marry the chump" idea is nonsense.
This is
exactly right. You guys have all forgotten Pook (or maybe you just never agreed with him in the first place... shame on you).
It is very true that looks matter. Let's take away all of the social value Brad Pitt has by virtue of his profession. If he was just some guy that walked in to a bar and as competing against another man who is over weight, poorly dressed, has poor hygiene habits, and bad posture/body language, forgetting
everything else, who has more barriers to overcome from the beginning? The fat guy.
Now, it could turn out that Brad Pitt actually has an awful sense of self confidence, masculinity, and his personal worth.... basically has zero "game". And the fat guy is the polar opposite. Will it matter? I don't know, find a fat guy like that and go out and try it, if you're really good looking
The point is that I've been getting the impression on this website that guys want to shift the focus of their pursuit of women from things they can control (like Pook's hybrid jerk/nice guy, the "measured man" and expressing positive masculinity per Rollo's theories) to things they can't control as much like looks. Even plastic surgery can only do so much and at the end of the day, we have what we have to work with. You're not going to get any taller... you may be able to lose weight and put on muscle, but if you don't have the discipline to become a better man, you probably don't have the discipline to do those things either. You can improve your hygiene, but no amount of special body wash, moisturizing cream, or anything else is going to give you a sculpted chin and perfectly symmetrical face.
It's laziness guys. Stop being lazy. No one wants to hear this because it's not a magic bullet and isn't something that's going to immediately garner orders of magnitude greater levels of success. It requires personal investment, taking risks, making yourself feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. It really all comes down to what you want though. Are you happy with the status quo? Like, for real? When you go about your life, have you ever seen a dude who is not very attractive with a highly attractive women? I have. If everyone always paired up in an equitable manner according to their physical appearance, then that sort of phenomena should not occur. But it does!
Again, it's not that looks don't matter, but physical appearance seems to be heavily overemphasized right now on these boards. If you aren't keeping yourself well groomed and dressing at least half way acceptably, you probably aren't even at a game level sufficient to be involved in this conversation. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing guys need to debate about looks are the components they can change. Anything else is a waste of time and energy, and sets up for limiting beliefs that will do nothing to enhance your success.
And by the way, I agree with the idea of having a sense of style and direction, but I disagree that wearing a suit, blazer, golf shirt, ect will make you a DAD rather than a CAD. I dress nice, but I don't dress generically, and maybe that's what the OP was referring to. I get compliments all the time about my ties and the color combinations between my slacks, shirt, and sports coat. There's a big difference between walking around in a suit and wearing a suit, and perhaps the problem is that most guys don't know how to
wear a suit. I mean, look at Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother. The dude is a freaking homosexual off camera, but he dresses in a very non-generic way. His attitude in the TV show is ridiculous and I doubt he would be able to pull 1/10th that well in real life if no one knew who he was and he stayed in that character, but that isn't the point.
The point is that you can't generalize certain articles of clothing or styles of clothing as making a man sex worthy and not sex worthy. A guy could try and go for the "tough guy" look and screw it up and end up being worse than a DAD because he was trying too hard to be a CAD. Like you said, the CAD doesn't care. He's got more important things to worry about than trying to integrate "peacocking" or some other PUA dress strategy in to his life. However, a man expressing positive masculinity, a measured man, will understand the importance of external appearance in a way that transcends his experiences with women. Do you think physical appearance has any relevant application outside of sex? The guy who looks better is going to have an easier road with everything he does, from job promotions, getting bank loans, finding clients and customers, and yes, also from securing the affections of women. But a real man has all of that stuff put in its proper perspective and hasn't lost sight of HIS mission.
And it sounds to me like a lot you have!
If you're sincerely working on yourself, working on your life, God forbid, actually developing life experiences and LIVING, the whole thing with women will all fall together. Focusing on women is a big mistake because it ignores everything higher and more important on the totem poll... and the thing with the totem poll of life is that everything below the level you have reached comes naturally. If you aim above women and succeed, they will not be a problem.
Stop worrying about all of this petty CRAP, stop complaining and get some work done. The message behind what the OP said may be true, but your value and masculinity obscure these contingencies and make them trivial, if you actually have value and masculinity. So go out and get it. Now.
