13 Reasons To Avoid Single Mothers

[Wyldfire]

if everyone would just focus on meeting and attracting the ones they want instead of complaining about people they dont want to date then their time would be more useful.

Problem is that what they claim to want is never what they actually look for or go for. On top of that...a lot of them expect perfection when they are far from perfect themselves and such perfection doesn't even exist.

 

[RedPill]

give me some examples so i can answer your question better

as for this thread, I don't see the point in bothering with a single mother when their are plenty of attractive women without kids

like somebody else said every woman has some baggage but why deal with that extra baggage?

Read my post again, it wasn't directed toward you. I'm in complete agreement with you, Silverback.

 

[RedPill]

if everyone would just focus on meeting and attracting the ones they want instead of complaining about people they dont want to date then their time would be more useful.

I like your positivity penkitten. The only reason this "complaining" thread got so long is because there's a strong polarity in viewpoints.

 

[RedPill]

The answer to that question is quite simple, penkitten...

As long as the men on this site continue to focus on complaining about and blaming women they won't have to take an honest and much needed look at their own flaws, baggage and mistakes. This forum has as many damn "victims" as a feminist forum does.

What does this have to do with choosing not to date SMs? You use this rationale to explain every viewpoint you disagree with. You're essentially saying with this argument that every guy who chooses not to date SMs blames women for their problems and ignores their own. You're also generalizing that the majority of us guys on here consistently fall for faulty women. Most of the guys in this thread are not blaming SMs for their problems, they're simply choosing not to date them, and explaining why.

But let's throw all the evolutionary psychology and vitriol aside for a moment...

Let's say I'm buying a car. Let's say in the past I've owned 3 Ford Escorts and 2 of them broke down prematurely. I also have 5 friends who have also owned an Escort at some point in the last 10 years, and 3 of those 5 friends were also highly dissatisfied with the engineering of the Escort for some reason or another. Am I blaming the Ford Motor Company for my life problems if I choose not to not to look at the brand new model of Escort? After all, it looks nice & shiny and it test drives well. Is it hypocritical of me to say that I won't look at the Escorts when, after all, the engineers at Ford can design a car that's a hell of a lot closer to perfection than I could? Perhaps, I should ingore the information I have, and take each one on a case-by-case basis - disassemble all the new Escorts in the lot and use a micrometer to make sure all the parts are true so that I know I'm getting one that won't break down (and give me headaches) like my other ones did.

It's nothing personal against the nice, hard-workin' folks at Ford, but gosh darnit, the four people I know who've owned a Lexus have never had a problem with it breaking down early. I think I'm going to go over to the Lexus dealership today and see what kind of promotions they have going on right now. I hear there's this hot chick that works there

 

[insidious]

Single dads

Hey man, so do you mean to exxonerate the single dads out here? Perhaps you can stereotype and grossly generalize our dilemna as that which is the opposite of everything you listed for single moms.

 

[insidious]

LOL sorry off-topic, but bench-pressing 500 lbs doth not an alpha male make :nervous:

Reminds of this Frech-Canadian flick I saw a few years ago, "Leolo". There was this beaten down wimpy dude who always got his ass kicked by this same bully. Beaten down dude thought he would "change" his life. Proceeded to begin lifting weights, turned into Popeye, but never worked on his psyche. Months later, the nouveau buff dude runs into the bully who proceeds to PhVck him up again! It's a state of mind

I'm not saying your fiancee was NOT an alpha wyldfire, but the thing is dont' use that as a criteria for his alphaness.

This "alpha/beta" male argument is retarded. Sorry guys, but it is. A true alpha male doesn't even think about whether or not he might "appear to be beta". My fiance who died was as alpha as they come. He bench pressed over 500 lbs and even men with authority over him behaved submissively in his presence. He was married before I met him and he married a woman 13 years older than him with 3 kids. She passed away about 4 months before I met him through her children...who he loved as his own even after her death. I had 3 children when we met, was his age and he adored my children and again loved them as his own.

Alpha males pursue who they want and like and don't care about what other people might think or how they may appear to other men or society. Any guy who is afraid of looking "beta" IS beta, period.

 

[RedPill]

Hey man, so do you mean to exxonerate the single dads out here? Perhaps you can stereotype and grossly generalize our dilemna as that which is the opposite of everything you listed for single moms.

Most of the single dads I know don't have full-time/majority custody of their kids. Most of the ones I know want a woman with kids already - would prefer to end up Brady Bunch style instead of having more new ones. When you speak of "our dilemma", what is that?

 

[Maximus Rex]

I'm Not Gay

Hey man, so do you mean to exxonerate the single dads out here? Perhaps you can stereotype and grossly generalize our dilemna as that which is the opposite of everything you listed for single moms.

Being that I'm not gay, I don't have to worry about single dads.:crackup: Seriously to answer your question: 1) Chicks don't have to worry about a single dad getting pregnant 2) Single dads don't have custody most of the time so some of the things I've enumerated don't apply to them.

Being that women are such attention wh*res, I often wonder why they would give a guy with kids the time of day, for lot of the reasons I've stated. Why deal with a guy who has another woman in his life, that's no matter what she says about the guy, is probably still in love with him. Then again chicks get off on the fact that they've taken a man away from another woman. With the exception of the "baby damage," reason, all of my reasons to avoid single mothers are easily applicable to single fathers.

 

[insidious]

Redpill, Maximus Rex -

Being that I'm not gay, I don't have to worry about single dads.:crackup: .....

LOL Good one man, I asked for that-

I think what I'm trying to say is that I'm sure women can find as many reasons, logical reasons, to avoid SD's. I'm an SD and I don't delude myself for a minute by thinking that there are not women out there who wouldn't dig me if it wasn't for my parental status.

In fact, there was this HB7.9 young chick at my dental office, assistant, who was giving me major Q&A and the minute the subject of my son came up, the conversation suddenly turned to her BF. It happens man, I'm not arguing the original argument about SM's, but let's be realistic, SD's are not a walk in the park for most chicks either.

 

[backbreaker]

being the only child for 17 years of a single mom, I have a different prespective.

I am not going to sit here and say I was a mistake.. even though I was not planned, that i know.

However, my mom is/was an attractive woman, graudated college with 3 degrees, made alot of money (over 100k) by herself, had a nice house, no debt, besides school loans, etc.

by the time I was 13, it was just her and I, and we lived in a 1 year old, upper middle class subdivision, she drove a Benz and we had pretty much everything she wanted to have.

She literarly made one mistake, thta ran men after men off. Me.

now, as I am grown, I can look back on my mom in a different prosepective. As far as datable, my mom is extremely independant, likes to things for herself, and can be stubborn when she has her heart set on something and when it is REALLy in her heart, can get irrational at times, but other than that, she wasn't the one that was oging to ask a guy to take care of me, pay for me.. my dad was still in the picture, and if I ever needed anything, which was harley the case, but when I did, all I had to do was pick up the phone.

Even when I was 12-13 years old, my mom had a man she was serious with.. the extent of me "spending time with him" was me saying hi to him when I walked though the door and went to my room, or left the house. Even at an early age I stayed out of my parents, espically my mom's way. It's like even then I knew her having a teenage son would scare some men off, so I did what i could to help out when i could.

I can honeslty say that any guy that didn't date my mom because of me, was a complete dumbass. And I know some didn't. They saw me and ran. My mom and my dad did a good job of teaching me to do **** on my own at an early age.

lol, even as a 7 year old, all my mom had to do was put a sega in my face and I was gone for the night.

My mom got serious with a guy who is now my little sisters dad.. and for the most part him and I got along... I was 16 now, and didn't really talk to my mom that much.. but I let her know, he rubbed me the wrong way.. something about him just seemed "fake". She told me i was too young and didn't know what I was talking about, and that he was a wonderful churchgoing man..

Well, like I said, he is my little sisters dad, and I was right about him. He ended up doing 2 years in prison for Money Laundering, and he tole close to 100k of money from the real estate business that my mom and him co owned, leaving my mom with the debt and filing for Bankrupcy.

For the sake of my sister, they are civil now, and in all honestly, he does a good job of being there for my sister.. that was never really a problem, but he is still him and he is still a con at heart, and doesn't help fianically with my sister little if at all.

My mom eventually got remarried 2 years ago, ironically once i was out of the house. I let them be. Even with that said, my 5 year old sister lives with them now.. but I get the feeling he somehow feels threated by me.. he's always trying to one up me or tell me what to do just because he is my step dad, and I am grown.


anyway, that's my experience.. not all single mom's are like my mom, I understand that, but that's the point. You can't generalize everyone in the same catorogry.

Knowing my dad, knowing how he is now, and i can only imagine how he was at 23 when I was born, my dad is the absoulte worst person a 19 year old woman can settle down with... but she was young and in love.. She made a mistake. My mom never was a "hoe" or a "slut".. In all honestly, I can count the guys she has slept with probably with my fingers. My dad took my mom's virginity. They had me, lived together for a while, got married. Things were working out for awhile, until my dad got "the itch" and went buck wild. I guess he got a little too ****y and went at it with my oldest little brothers mom, and had my little brother, who is 7 years younger than me.

My mom was heartbroken.. I remember her crying her heart out to this day when she found out. I remember her giving me "the talk" on the way to school one day, telling me dad wasn't going to be living with us anymore. Now that i think about it, I can only imagine her being overwelmed with what she had to deal with, knowing she was now a single mom with a 7 year old, going to college and working a job.... she had the preverbal scarlet letter

Luckly my dad was a hoe, not a deadbeat. As much as my dad liked to ****, I can honestly say, I couldn't have had a better dad. Yeah, he didn't live with me, but he kept me from after school until 7:30ish every day while my mom was in school. I never wanted for anything growing up. The best christmas I ever had was the year after they got divorced.. I got 20 Nintendo games on one day and "the glove" with a puppy and a Gameboy! I had a go cart, I would have had a mo pad but my mom was terrifed of them and forbided it. My dad coached my Basketballt eams, I excelled in baseball growing up.. took and watched all my baseball games.. showed me how to play at an early age. Introduced me to what I do now when I was 7-8, horse racing. Once he saw how much I liked horse racing, him and I had a standing date every saturday, he would pick me up at 10 in the morning and get me a haircut, then it was off to oaklawn, and he would give me 20 dollars to "bet".. lol, I won the pick 3, purly off of luck now that I think back, when I was 8. It was a couple of hundred bucks.. of course he kept it, but he took me to blockbuster and let me rent 3 video games!


I say all that to show.. any guy that was coming in my life didn't have to deal with me. At all. I had a dad. I had a mom (I have alwasy been closer to my dad than my mom, even though I lived with her).. if I needed a female opinion on something, I asked my dad's mom.

When I was a little older, there were times when whoever she was dating would spend the night.. I knew what they were doing.. I could care less. I mean, they are grown. I was happy for my mom. I didn't look at him differently because he was "sexing my mom".. ****, she has needs..lol, hell actually it put her in a better mood, so the more the marrier.

In retrospect, I know my mom resents me, simply for being around, even thougH I didn't do anything wrong, because I made her relationship life a living hell with men dropping like flies.. so it's like she knows why we don't talk really anymore, but I also know it as well, and it's really the way it has to be... It's the price you pay for doing your job raising a child the correct way.

 

[backbreaker]

let me to add to what I said.. another prospective.

Last year, actually the end of the year before last. I made a post about a woman that had an affair with me. She was married.

Not going to get into that, because that has nothing to do with this, but what does is she had 2 kids.. a 3 and a 5 year old.

Let me say this.. if at any point she tried to start putting them on me, having me treat them like a dad, when they had one, I was gone.

It was just sex. We still.. "talk" to this day. It's just sex. It's kinda an understanding we have. She is really cool, but for various reasons, we just can't date each other. Even if it weren't for the kids, she doesn't trust me to be faithful (for good reasons), plus i already know what she does when she gets board in a relationship..s he ****s other guys.. like she ****ed me.

So off and on for the last 2 years, we ahve pretty much been ****ing. lots and lots of unattached sex. I have to admit, it was hard at first, just ****ing someone knowing you can't get attached even if you wanted to (different from just not being attached) but over time it gets a hell of alot easier.

And even to this day,s he hasn't asked me for a dime. Well yes she did, she asked me for 500 dollars a year and a half ago to file for a divorce, which I didn't give her, and she didn't expect me to. But never a dime.

On the other hand, I met a woman that lives downstairs (I am in an extended stay hotel right now) that has 2 kids and I can tell she is the type that will try to lock any guy with a pulse down that can stand her two kids.. pretty cute, she's 8 years my senior ,and her kids don't live with her.. but she's been though a lot, which in my opinion, lowers her values for men.

So what I am trying to say is, generalzations are stupid

 

[backbreaker]

For me, it was a non-issue for just having fun and sex. However, the stakes were high for any SMs that I would date

took the words right out of my mouth man. I have no problem "knocking off" a woman with a kid, even "dating" her.. however, anything beyond that is entering a do not enter zone. I only have one life, and I know the woman It would take for me to settle down and get married... nothing against married women, but she would have to be childless. I want to be able to raise my own kids without outside male influences, if I decide to get married at one point.

But just chilling with and having fun with? ****, why not if they are cool?

 

[Wyldfire]

What does this have to do with choosing not to date SMs? You use this rationale to explain every viewpoint you disagree with. You're essentially saying with this argument that every guy who chooses not to date SMs blames women for their problems and ignores their own. You're also generalizing that the majority of us guys on here consistently fall for faulty women. Most of the guys in this thread are not blaming SMs for their problems, they're simply choosing not to date them, and explaining why.

But let's throw all the evolutionary psychology and vitriol aside for a moment...

Let's say I'm buying a car. Let's say in the past I've owned 3 Ford Escorts and 2 of them broke down prematurely. I also have 5 friends who have also owned an Escort at some point in the last 10 years, and 3 of those 5 friends were also highly dissatisfied with the engineering of the Escort for some reason or another. Am I blaming the Ford Motor Company for my life problems if I choose not to not to look at the brand new model of Escort? After all, it looks nice & shiny and it test drives well. Is it hypocritical of me to say that I won't look at the Escorts when, after all, the engineers at Ford can design a car that's a hell of a lot closer to perfection than I could? Perhaps, I should ingore the information I have, and take each one on a case-by-case basis - disassemble all the new Escorts in the lot and use a micrometer to make sure all the parts are true so that I know I'm getting one that won't break down (and give me headaches) like my other ones did.

It's nothing personal against the nice, hard-workin' folks at Ford, but gosh darnit, the four people I know who've owned a Lexus have never had a problem with it breaking down early. I think I'm going to go over to the Lexus dealership today and see what kind of promotions they have going on right now. I hear there's this hot chick that works there

Again...I am NOT telling anyone they should, should not, can't or must date single mothers. My issue is not that some men don't want to date single mothers. To be quite frank, I wouldn't wish MOST of the men on this site onto ANY woman...especially a single mother. The reason I am arguing this issue is because I am damn well sick and tired of the way so many of the men on here bash single mothers. For the past 15 years MOST of my friends have been single mothers. I am a single mother. I'm considerably older than most people on this site and as a result I have seen more, experienced more and have more knowledge about single moms than a bunch of 16-24 year olds who hold these views based on grossly exaggerated stereotypes rather than actually KNOWING any single mothers on a personal level. Yes, I realize that a FEW of you have dated single mothers who were messed up...but each of those cases that have been posted had nothing at all to do with them being a parent and everything to do with them having an issue anyone could have.

The Ford Escort comparison doesn't fly. You can't compare a mechanical object to a human being. All Ford Escorts are built exactly the same inside and out...from one mold. Single mothers are all different...inside and out, just as any other human being is.

Again...the advice I have repeatedly given on this thread is that EVERY ONE OF US should treat those we meet as individuals and if we feel compelled to judge others, at least judge them on a case by case basis...whether you are interested in dating them or not. No one deserves to be pre-judged based on stereotypes that are grossly exaggerated at best and entirely contrived at worst. Thinking for oneself is not a bad thing and is highly advisable IF you value quality over quantity.

 

[Wyldfire]

LOL sorry off-topic, but bench-pressing 500 lbs doth not an alpha male make :nervous:

Reminds of this Frech-Canadian flick I saw a few years ago, "Leolo". There was this beaten down wimpy dude who always got his ass kicked by this same bully. Beaten down dude thought he would "change" his life. Proceeded to begin lifting weights, turned into Popeye, but never worked on his psyche. Months later, the nouveau buff dude runs into the bully who proceeds to PhVck him up again! It's a state of mind

I'm not saying your fiancee was NOT an alpha wyldfire, but the thing is dont' use that as a criteria for his alphaness.

I mentioned the bench press thing to illustrate that he also looked the part. In the past, because he treated me well, the peanut gallery chose to insist that he must be some wimpy dork...which he wasn't.

That being said...size and strength does have much to do with this issue. As I said...I've met plenty of real alpha males and none of them were physically weak. Some have not been all that tall...but all have been pretty buff and had a physically commanding presence.

My fiance had a commanding presence both physically and in his personality, how he carried himself, everything.

Okay...this thread is not about my deceased fiance, so let's get back on topic. I only intended to use him as an example to illustrate that it's not "beta" to date or get involved with single men, but it IS "beta" to actually analyze what is or is not considered to be alpha vs beta behavior. Alphas do what they want to do and don't care about the perceptions of others.

 

[Wyldfire]

Most of the single dads I know don't have full-time/majority custody of their kids. Most of the ones I know want a woman with kids already - would prefer to end up Brady Bunch style instead of having more new ones. When you speak of "our dilemma", what is that?

Ironically, the fact that single fathers don't usually have full-time custody actually makes their situation often far more difficult to contend with...especially if they have a miserable ex. I dated a single father once and his ex was rotten. She tried to use their son to control him and he let her do it. He was terrified of letting her know he was dating anyone because she would have kept their son from him and punished him. Single fathers are more likely to have to deal with an ex who not only tries to, but succeeds in interfering in his life. This isn't true of all single fathers, because each situation is different. That being said...since the father doesn't have primary custody it DOES put him at the mercy of his ex, and if she's miserable, it will be very troublesome to date him for any woman...even for a single mother.

 

[Duffty]

She trying to rebuild her team of teenage drones again?

I cant believe this sh!t is actually being entertained here, what is wrong with yous? Single mothers...dont make me laugh.

Raising some other douches genes, what the hell kind of backward reality are they teaching boys these days to get such a backlash of defence here? disgusting.

And all the future surrogate daddies hanging off some old bar wenches unrealistic chatter.

Listen to the original poster guys, I'm smashing 2 mums now (sex only, they both know I'm anti ANYBODY elses children) and even thats a dicey situation.

The guy comes here to help his brothers out and gets an assortment of social zombies yapping "but 2 + 2 = 5" at him.... Shameful.

Social Zombies try to brain wash AFC. SM is not perfect. I don't want to date SM.

 

[Veracity]

Reminds of this Frech-Canadian flick I saw a few years ago, "Leolo". There was this beaten down wimpy dude who always got his ass kicked by this same bully. Beaten down dude thought he would "change" his life. Proceeded to begin lifting weights, turned into Popeye, but never worked on his psyche. Months later, the nouveau buff dude runs into the bully who proceeds to PhVck him up again! It's a state of mind

Dude, you did say it was a French-Canadian flick! That in itself says enough about why the guy continued to get his butt kicked:crackup:

Anyway, once 50% all the oh so suave DJs have been put through a nasty divorce, they'll be single fathers. As for those don't want to get married and want children, they only way to do so is to have a "baby mama".

If you just don't want children period, cool. Your DNA will end with you:yes:

If you don't want to date single mothers, redheads, high school drop-outs, etc., don't. Why the emphasis on such if you're not interested to begin with??

I think a lot of guys do this because they were turned down by a SM and are still pissed about it, after all she is a SM and should have been happy to have a prospective date/BF; or it's just a way to make themselves feel superior to some portion of the female population.

A genuine DonJuan is too busy enjoying what his skills have gotten him to focus on what he doesn't want.

 

[( . )( . )]

What man boobs fails to mention is that he is one of those douche bags who got some girl pregnant. Can't say I blame his ex for dumping him, either...

Wrong!! baggage train, I met that chick AFTER I found the seduction community, hence me being "dumped" would never have happened. Not possible to "dump" a guy who never wanted a relationship (and made it clear I might add) with you in the first place is it Sherlock?.

And yeah she used me for my awesome genes? So whats your point, doesnt change anything the original poster is warning others about does it? The message of steering clear of single mothers is still valid.
Some jaded granny trying illogically to change young mens minds doesnt seem to be holding much water though.

Give up, pick another topic to shine in.

 

[Wyldfire]

Wrong!! baggage train, I met that chick AFTER I found the seduction community, hence me being "dumped" would never have happened. Not possible to "dump" a guy who never wanted a relationship (and made it clear I might add) with you in the first place is it Sherlock?.

And yeah she used me for my awesome genes? So whats your point, doesnt change anything the original poster is warning others about does it? The message of steering clear of single mothers is still valid.
Some jaded granny trying illogically to change young mens minds doesnt seem to be holding much water though.

Give up, pick another topic to shine in.

Oh looky...I hit a nerve.

If what you claim is true then you are essentially admitting to being both careless and irresponsible.

Really doesn't surprise me in the least, either...

 

[( . )( . )]

Oh looky...I hit a nerve.

Not really, you told a lie and I cleared it up, no offense but I dont thinks its even possible for you to "hit a nerve". Sure I think the AFC endorsing sh!t you babble is absolutely idiotic and has no place here and I call it out whenever I can be assed but thats as far as it goes.

If what you claim is true then you are essentially admitting to being both careless and irresponsible.

Again, whats your point?