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Very well put. I think it is important for those of us who have experienced these women to grasp this. There is some great discussion about BPD women in this and other threads, I'm glad to have added some thoughts.

It seems like I'm going against the grain in this thread... :) but IMO the opposite is true. I believe that their fear and shame define everything they do, and annihilation fear specifically is what makes them refuse help. The shame comes into play from their childhood abandonment issues and...

Die Hard, As long as you are not advocating hating them forever (though I think hating them at ALL is very unhealthy, there is a difference between righteous anger and hate), I don't think we really have much of a disagreement. I am fortunate in that mine did not do many of the things that...

So in other words, use the same childlike defense mechanisms (splitting/devaluation) she does, against her? What does that make us? Men, or children? You see how far that gets them... bury/repress/kill feelings instead of working through. That's their MO and it sounds as if that is what you...

I think the first mistake is giving her your number instead of asking for hers. Second mistake (could be, didn't see the convo so I don't know) asking for the number so quickly and possibly without building any fun/flirty banter. You have to provoke some kind of excitement and emotion if...