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I agree that he needs to become aware of the part that he played and why he feels the way he does. But it is also very important to understand her behaviour - which is why he is asking if anyone has had similar experiences - hence my response. We all accept flaws in other people, it's not his...

No one is diagnosing her. They are simply acknowledging warning signs that are extremely common with these type of women. Most women, to my experience, do not discuss very intimate details such as abuse/self-harm and especially not at such an early stage and so freely. And your comparison to...

Yeah, some of what you said resounded with my own experiences, even down to her telling you she was abused very quickly and the getting upset after sex. It was likely not going to get much easier. If you had stayed and invested in her by trying to fix and help her, when she would have dropped...

That's very nice of her, but I wouldn't feel comfortable letting a girlfriend buy me a car or anything that expensive, especially after just 9 months. I wouldn't even feel comfortable letting a family member do it. But fair enough.

This, very much so. I'm 26 too and I've always been a pretty quiet guy but socially able when necessary. The industry I work in thrives on filler conversation, people talking for the sake of it, women chatting, constant 'banter'. When I joined, I found this to be a struggle - my team (who are...

The thing I find funny on this site, is that people rarely questions the behavior of the guy in the relationship. Everyone is quite quick to jump to the guys aid and soothe him, not all the time but most times. There's always two sides to the story. The other thing that ****ed with my head...

I often wish I were a bit more psychopathic. Must be nice to be able to just move on and not be burdened and held back by sadness, loss or remorse. Watch closely for early warning signs.

The fact that she still has sex with you whilst she is/was still with her boyfriend, should tell you enough about her character. Is her boyfriend still around and in the same city? Could explain why she often loses interest.

Thanks chaps, I'm glad it's somewhat 'normal'. But I guess it's not normal to have it happen more than once with the same girl. I thought I'd learn the first time it happened, but I once again became unappreciative and it happened again. Maybe it was just an unhealthy relationship.

This has been a big issue for me, repeating itself multiple times throughout my last relationship. I only seemed to realise the extent of my feelings for her when I could no longer have her or when she was with someone else. It is incredibly frustrating to say the very least - it caused me to...

And how will I know that unless I reach out to her in some way? As far as she is concerned, I didn't prioritise her and let her slip away, that she was just a toy. She has always wanted to be chased. I'm finding it very hard to let her go. I don't know why or how I didn't realise all this...

I know. But I hate that she went away thinking I didn't really give a **** and was just jealous. She felt I didn't want to fight for her, and that she was the one who'd always been chasing me, 'coming back like some fiend.' And by blame I mean taking responsibility for what happened, which I'm...

Guys, forgive me for keeping on at this but as some of you know, it's a long process. And I've appreciated the advice and opinion so far. I've begun seeing a psychologist, as suggested, about it all and the depression it (amongst other things) has caused, which seems to help at the time...

Yeah, you're right.

I have written it. I am in two minds as to whether to send it. I likely won't. I am not blaming her for anything. I have even asked that she not respond to it. I don't want anything from her. I know we can never be together again. I just want her to know the effect this has had one me. To know...

She never left for real before this. Our first breakup I initiated because of all the drama and lies during the first 6 months (we also lived together during this time). This is the first time she ended it and really carried through with it, went NC etc. I always felt the future would be...

I feel like sending her an email. I want her to know what I've been going through recently, how much it all affected me. How much blame and regret I have shouldered because of it all. Not to make her feel guilty, but so she knows how much it all meant to me and how much it all affected me. She...

Damn. How do you know everything that happened between them? They can be so good at assigning blame. A similar kind of thing happened after mine got engaged to a much older guy around 4 months after our first breakup. He moved her in straight away (her parents were glad to have someone to palm...

That's crazy that you just said that. I was just considering the same thing. That maybe the new guy won't get an 'improved version' of her, but rather a version of her that is now more adept at lying, more behaved and poised, a more advanced routine as you say. She is very intelligent. If she...

Some people yeah, but she may have and it does look that way. Can a 3 year relationship with someone you love be classed as oneitis? I have other potential options, I just have no interest in becoming involved with anyone else right now. It has crossed my mind that she set my standards too high...