Gym & grocery store approaches

[AmsterdamAssassin]

When heterosexual males have gay and lesbian neighbors, they are generally friendly with their neighbors. If they are outgoing enough, they will talk to them. None of this means that a friendship will form between the gay/lesbian person and the heterosexual male. I've rarely observed these friendships. I think these friendships don't form because there's often a lack of common interests.

Probably because you lack interests.

I not only have gay neighbours, I also have gay friends. We share a lot of common interests, except for sexual orientation. We don't discuss sex much, but relationships and other issues are often spoken about. But I guess that kind of thing would be too awkward for someone who divides the world in straight and gay.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Grocery stores, I'm direct all the way. I've had so much success picking up women in grocery stores from direct approaches over the years.

When you go direct, your eyes become fire and you immediately start to grow a beard..and your voice gets deeper.

You are becoming an Apex of a man.

Bro, yesterday (no bullshiit), outside of the gym I went direct on a latina woman.

She interpreted my directness as being "aggressive".

She playfully asked, "Why you gotta be so aggressive, dang?".

Definitely DO NOT go indirect and start talking about food. That's not the way to do it.

Nah, it's not the way to do it.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you think this is best cooked in a slow cooker, or an air fryer"?

Beta shiit!!

 

[SW15]

Definitely DO NOT go indirect and start talking about food. That's not the way to do it.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you think this is best cooked in a slow cooker, or an air fryer"?

Beta shiit!!

I would never use that line that @We_ArE_VeNOM mentioned. That is far too beta.

In "Day Bang", the standard grocery store opener was to ask "is that good?" about something in a woman's grocery basket/cart or to make an observation about a basket/cart item to start a conversation. Then, you'd tell a story to drop some bait, see if she was interested and cycle through GALNUC to ask a woman out on a date.

I have opened women in grocery stores about basket/cart items. I've also made observations about clothes they are wearing to start conversations.

If you get some good IOIs from strong eye contact and smiling, then going indirect or direct will matter less as she's already interested. The only requirement then is to not look socially awkward.

The main advantage about going indirect in a grocery store is plausible deniability in case you are reported to a store employee for harassment on approaches. That's a rare situation because almost no woman will report a man for harassment on an indirect opener.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

In "Day Bang", the standard grocery store opener was to ask "is that good?" about something in a woman's grocery basket/cart or to make an observation about a basket/cart item to start a conversation. Then, you'd tell a story to drop some bait, see if she was interested and cycle through GALNUC to ask a woman out on a date.

Oh, yeah, that was the name. Day Bang. Where the PUA author advised to act like as senile octogenarian. Funniest crap I read in a long time. Most PUA are deluded, but that guy was really lost.

 

[SW15]

Oh, yeah, that was the name. Day Bang. Where the PUA author advised to act like as senile octogenarian. Funniest crap I read in a long time. Most PUA are deluded, but that guy was really lost.

"Day Bang" taught me how to do daygame. I read "Day Bang" not long after it came out in 2011 and it helped me transition from a primarily nightlife venue approacher to a non-bar approacher.

The London Daygame Model is another approach to daygame. Open, Stack, Vibe, Invest, Close.

London Daygame Model was based on trying to apply Mystery Method to non-bar approaching. Mystery himself said that Mystery Method was usable in non-bar settings in that book but never explained how it would be done.

I don't think a typical guy knows much about how to approach women in non-bar settings.

As far back as 2005, I had heard that guys were approaching women in yoga classes. Prior to Day Bang in 2011, I never figured how to create non-bar approaches out of thin air.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Prior to Day Bang in 2011, I never figured how to create non-bar approaches out of thin air.

Yeah, that seems to be a problem for most younger guys. Social skills require interaction, and I guess modern life for many people is bereft of person-to-person interaction.

The London Daygame Model is another approach to daygame. Open, Stack, Vibe, Invest, Close.

Yeah, I read that too. Torero. Still felt forced, but it wasn't as deluded as the Day Bang stuff.

London Daygame Model was based on trying to apply Mystery Method to non-bar approaching. Mystery himself said that Mystery Method was usable in non-bar settings in that book but never explained how it would be done.

Someone told me that I was using 'things from Mystery', but I found that guy incredibly crude with basic psychology. Then again, I got the impression that these PUA guys are all just sex-starved misogynists desperate to dip their wick in a bimbo.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

Good analysis, as usual. @SW15

First off, let me just say; if indirect has/is paying dividends for you, then continue to use it.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

In "Day Bang", the standard grocery store opener was to ask "is that good?" about something in a woman's grocery basket/cart or to make an observation about a basket/cart item to start a conversation. Then, you'd tell a story to drop some bait, see if she was interested and cycle through GALNUC to ask a woman out on a date.

That is a nice, "Cold, Capri Sun on a hot day" approach lol.

I ain't mad at it.

But the reasons I don't care for that approach are as follows..

1. It is dishonest: Yes, it is a light form of dishonesty.

Why?

Because I don't really care about whether the items in her cart is good. So why pretend like I do?

Now, the difference between you and I is, in that same scenario: you will make a comment about something in her cart.

As for me, I will make a comment about her shirt (which you mentioned below ).

"Excuse me miss, I like your shirt"..while signaling to her chest (since I love titties).

This is 100% pure honesty, and the focus of the conversation is right where I want it to be; on her chest.

Then, with adrenaline pumping, I'll anticipate her response and then I'm asking if she is single and can I give her my #.

Her cart items are of no interest to me, but her chest is..so that's where my focus will be.
......

2. Feelings matter: Yes. Feelings matter.

Not her feelings, but my feelings.

With your approach, let's say you spent X amount of time talking about the items in her cart, which leads to subtopics like cooking and food prep.

You think the convo is going well, so you ask her out on a date.

Her: Thank you, but I'm not looking for anyone at the moment.

If this happened to me, I would feel like I wasted time talking to a woman that was never genuinely interested in me (in that manner).

I would walk away disappointed, and upset.

But with the direct approach, even though the rejection still disappointing, I walk away with my head held high and with a sense of pride.

ARC pointed this out, and it's very true.

The feeling(s) you have once you walk away from being rejected, that shiit matters.

Anytime I get rejected and can still walk away with a sense of pride and dignity, despite the disappointment, is the approach that I'd rather go for.

Because the rejections are coming, it is how you feel after the rejections...that is the second element to being an Apex, on the flip side.
......
3. Quick rejections: Piggy backing on #2, I just simply like my rejections quick.

4. Hard to go back: Once you've experienced success with direct approach, it's hard to go back to indirect.

It's like putting your pride & dignity to the side and becoming a lesser man. That's honestly how I feel.

Like going from making $25/hr to $18/hr. Hard to go back.
......

I have opened women in grocery stores about basket/cart items. I've also made observations about clothes they are wearing to start conversations.

There are nuances to the clothes thing, of which we take different angles..but nevertheless, I like.

If you get some good IOIs from strong eye contact and smiling, then going indirect or direct will matter less as she's already interested. The only requirement then is to not look socially awkward.

Mannn, IOIs are cool but they can be so damn misleading.

The main advantage about going indirect in a grocery store is plausible deniability in case you are reported to a store employee for harassment on approaches. That's a rare situation because almost no woman will report a man for harassment on an indirect opener.

I agree. Indirect always leaves you a way out, if need be.

 

[SW15]

Yeah, that seems to be a problem for most younger guys. Social skills require interaction, and I guess modern life for many people is bereft of person-to-person interaction.

The last 2 generations (Gen Y/Millennials and Gen Z/Zoomers) have had poor social skills. Both generations have been known for their increasing reliance upon tech for social interactions.

The oldest Millennials were on the leading edge of this. The oldest Millennials have been turning 40 for the last few years. There are Millennials in their late 30s/early 40s now who never developed good person-to-person interaction skills. Social media and dating website technology came up in the 2000s as they were hitting formative adult years.

London Daygame Model

Yeah, I read that too. Torero. Still felt forced, but it wasn't as deluded as the Day Bang stuff.

Tom Torero and Nick Krauser are most associated with the London Daygame Model. Troy Francis and James Tusk also emerged from that London pickup scene and were associated with daygaming in London.

London has a good scene for street approaching. Other European cities like Paris, Amsterdam, and Prague have sufficient foot traffic and are set up for street approaching. Most USA cities are not well set up for pure street approaching. There are environment similar to pure street approaching in some USA cities. Dallas' Katy Trail is a walking path that could mimic street approaching. Below is a daygame beginner doing Katy Trail approaches in Dallas. I've linked from the point in the video where the Katy Trail approaches start until the end of the video.

The London Daygame Model could be used in environments like the gym and the grocery store. Open Stack Vibe Invest Close is a model that works in all non-bar settings.

 

[SW15]

"Excuse me miss, I like your shirt"..while signaling to her chest (since I love titties).

This is 100% pure honesty, and the focus of the conversation is right where I want it to be; on her chest.

The grocery store is the venue where I have gotten the most dates.

At first after reading "Day Bang", I tended to use the "is that good?" opener followed by GALNUC. I thought it was a good starting point.

As I developed more skill in approaching, I tended to improvise more and use more creative approaches. I tend to more environmental approaches in grocery stores now and talk about a woman's outfit now more than the grocery basket routine.

Sometimes a shirt with words or a picture on it will catch my attention. College alumni t-shirts and sweatshirts are good for this. Shirts from a specific place will do it as well. I can start a conversation based on what she's wearing very easily.

Now, the only time I use the grocery item opener is if something she has in a grocery basket/cart is something that gets my attention for some reason, I am genuinely curious about it, and she's at least somewhat attractive.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

London has a good scene for street approaching. Other European cities like Paris, Amsterdam, and Prague have sufficient foot traffic and are set up for street approaching.

Probably part of why I recognised its usability. I've lived in all those cities and the street game is comparable.

 

[SW15]

Probably part of why I recognised its usability. I've lived in all those cities and the street game is comparable.

New York City is the best USA city for street game. Some older USA cities like Boston, Chicago, and Philadelphia have street game options.

Miami has a couple of neighborhoods where street game is an option, like Brickell and South Beach. Playing with Fire (YouTube content creator) does street approaching in Miami.

In Dallas, there are street approaching options in Deep Ellum and off of McKinney in Uptown. However, Uptown has declined in recent years and gotten less safe. Deep Ellum has always had a bit of a creepy vibe and some sketchy looking people around there. Downtown Dallas has a lot of homeless and sketchy looking people on the street. It somewhat limits foot traffic and women's openness to talking to random men there.

The Katy Trail is the least sketchy place in Dallas to do outdoor approaching. That's a designated walking path and not pure street game. There are a couple of parks in Dallas where approaching could happen. Park game is very hit or miss in Dallas, with more missing.

Gym and grocery store daygame is more viable in Dallas than most of the outdoor options, with the exception of Katy.

Venue selection is critical here as you want to choose a grocery store where your target market woman tends to shop. There's nothing unique about grocery store game in Dallas other than the fact that most women are receptive due to weak social circles.

Gym and grocery store daygame can happen almost anywhere.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

The main advantage about going indirect in a grocery store is plausible deniability in case you are reported to a store employee for harassment on approaches. That's a rare situation because almost no woman will report a man for harassment on an indirect opener.

This is literally almost never going to happen. Such 'fears' usually only exist in the minds of indirect guys who haven't don't many (or any) direct approaches, as an excuse to justify their lack of balls to direct approach. They come up with all these hypothetical scenarios about what they believe MIGHT happen but hasn't actually happened.

And because you're focusing your mind on imaginary negative things happening, it makes you feel fearful, which manifests I your demeanor and vibe and also leads to hesitation or chickening out of doing the approach.

As the late , great Alan Roger Currie often said, 'Jus do this shvt. Only talk about things that have actually happened, not about things that you think will happen'.

It's not a crime to approach a girl directly in a grocery store, nor is it harassment. It can only be considered harassment if the girl says she's not interested or tells you to go away or leave her alone but you don't.

I've approached hundreds of women in supermarkets and not once had any problem like this. I even used to go to the same places multiple times a day, several times a week, on the way to work and again after work, to buy food and hit on girls. I've been pretty hardcore direct too...not once had any problems. So it's mostly in guys' heads really.

 

[GoodMan32]

This is literally almost never going to happen. Such 'fears' usually only exist in the minds of indirect guys who haven't don't many (or any) direct approaches, as an excuse to justify their lack of balls to direct approach. They come up with all these hypothetical scenarios about what they believe MIGHT happen but hasn't actually happened.

And because you're focusing your mind on imaginary negative things happening, it makes you feel fearful, which manifests I your demeanor and vibe and also leads to hesitation or chickening out of doing the approach.

As the late , great Alan Roger Currie often said, 'Jus do this shvt. Only talk about things that have actually happened, not about things that you think will happen'.

It's not a crime to approach a girl directly in a grocery store, nor is it harassment. It can only be considered harassment if the girl says she's not interested or tells you to go away or leave her alone but you don't.

I've approached hundreds of women in supermarkets and not once had any problem like this. I even used to go to the same places multiple times a day, several times a week, on the way to work and again after work, to buy food and hit on girls. I've been pretty hardcore direct too...not once had any problems. So it's mostly in guys' heads really.

Unfortunately, some men are prone to being "creepy" without trying (I was even known as the freaky creep of my high school)

If a man is prone to being "creepy" without trying, it's understandable he'd be hesitant to make a move in a setting where the woman could potentially rat him out to security. It's not called "lacking balls;" it's called damage control.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Unfortunately, some men are prone to being "creepy" without trying (I was even known as the freaky creep of my high school)

If a man is prone to being "creepy" without trying, it's understandable he'd be hesitant to make a move in a setting where the woman could potentially rat him out to security. It's not called "lacking balls;" it's called damage control.

I respectfully disagree. Such men need to get over those fears.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If a man is prone to being "creepy" without trying, it's understandable he'd be hesitant to make a move in a setting where the woman could potentially rat him out to security. It's not called "lacking balls;" it's called damage control.

No, it's called 'using autism excuses to avoid putting in the work to get socially calibrated enough that I don't come off as a creep'.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

It's not a crime to approach a girl directly in a grocery store, nor is it harassment. It can only be considered harassment if the girl says she's not interested or tells you to go away or leave her alone but you don't.

I've approached hundreds of women in supermarkets and not once had any problem like this. I even used to go to the same places multiple times a day, several times a week, on the way to work and again after work, to buy food and hit on girls. I've been pretty hardcore direct too...not once had any problems. So it's mostly in guys' heads really.

Whoaa wait a minute here.

You're saying you've been Mode One Hardcore (MOH) with women at the supermarket?

Aw hell naw...and I say that in a good way.

I was always of the opinion that MOH was best served if you are doing night game.

Would you care to briefly share some of those MOH experiences, because iron sharpens iron and may be able to learn a thing or two.

 

[plumber]

I respectfully disagree. Such men need to get over those fears.

sure, but how? Sometimes it like telling a man "just get taller".

 

[SW15]

Whoaa wait a minute here.

You're saying you've been Mode One Hardcore (MOH) with women at the supermarket?

Aw hell naw...and I say that in a good way.

I was always of the opinion that MOH was best served if you are doing night game.

Would you care to briefly share some of those MOH experiences, because iron sharpens iron and may be able to learn a thing or two.

I have always perceived that a more direct approach (could be called Mode One Hardcore) made more sense in nightlife venue approaching.

It's not a crime to approach a girl directly in a grocery store, nor is it harassment. It can only be considered harassment if the girl says she's not interested or tells you to go away or leave her alone but you don't.

I've approached hundreds of women in supermarkets and not once had any problem like this. I even used to go to the same places multiple times a day, several times a week, on the way to work and again after work, to buy food and hit on girls. I've been pretty hardcore direct too...not once had any problems. So it's mostly in guys' heads really.

When doing approaches in supermarkets, I've never had any complaints or drawn the attention of the staff.

There are approachers who have gotten in trouble for approaching in a shopping location. The Toronto mall PUA guys were a well known case of it in 2013. I think a lot of the approaches were not calibrated and more like spam approaches.

A Swarm of Pickup Artists Tried to Invade a Mall in Toronto

Unfortunately this wasn't the only pick up event scheduled on arguably the worst day ever to hold such an event, December 6, the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women and the 24th anniversary of the l'Ecole Polytechnique...

www.vice.com

Most reasonable approachers will be like us, not catching attention from the outside world.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I have always perceived that a more direct approach (could be called Mode One Hardcore) made more sense in nightlife venue approaching.

I share that perception.

Because of my "bank robbery" method (in & out in as less time as possible) with day game, the risk seems to outweigh the reward on a MOH approach.

But hell, maybe I can learn something.

 

[SW15]

maybe I can learn something.

Maybe I can learn something too.

Because of my "bank robbery" method (in & out in as less time as possible) with day game,

That method has been a good method for you. I have liked how you have done things with day game.