I had a flirt session the other day. Ran into her again today. What to make of her behavior?

[BadBoy89]

As for me, I've been told I look like the following celebrities:

• Sheldon from Big Bang Theory
• Steve Carrell's character on The 40 Year Old Virgin and The Office
• Jared Kushner

It's pretty alarming that the famous men I remind a woman of the most are some of the men with the least amount of sex appeal.

Sheldon made out with Penny.
Steve Carrell's character had a good looking woman wanting to sleep with him.
Jared Kushner is married to Ivanka Trump, she is hot.

They all have sex appeal.

 

[GoodMan32]

Given that our species began in what's today Africa, we ALL carry admixture from said continent, hoss

As ironic as this will sound (coming from me), you sound like a pedantic autist.

You know what I meant when I said the cafe girl doesn't look like she has any African admixture.

 

[GoodMan32]

Point is that it's gainless to offer you any pointers, when you react by concocting excuses to not take them, rather than saying: "Much appreciated. I'll give it a whirl"

I've made progress in the past few months.

 

[GoodMan32]

I'm not reading 6 pages of this.

Either:

A. She was flirting and interested, but lost interest when you didn't reciprocate enough for her to feel like you were interested in her too.

B. She's a service-industry worker and it's her job to be nice to customers so they come back and/or tip higher.

In either case, this is why I always advocate for being direct. Saves you a lot of time and guesswork.

Fair enough, I know not everyone has time to read entire threads.

Another poster (on a past post) indicated the possibility she felt I wasn't into her (because I apparently didn't reciprocate enough). I'm going to tell you essentially the same thing I told him: What a strange world we live in where telling a woman she looks good is somehow viewed as a soft rejection.

As for the idea that she simply wanted me to come back more often, while I totally acknowledge that might have been her motive in complimenting me, it backfired on her. Thanks to the lack of a flirt session the next time I went in, I'm going to go back less often than I otherwise would have.

 

[GoodMan32]

Sheldon made out with Penny.
Steve Carrell's character had a good looking woman wanting to sleep with him.
Jared Kushner is married to Ivanka Trump, she is hot.

They all have sex appeal.

With Sheldon and Steve Carrell, the more important question is: How likely is it that a woman in real life would find their characters sexually exciting? (Because I'm trying to pique the interest of a real woman; not a fictional female character)

Rip from Yellowstone is an example of a TV character many a female viewer finds sexually exciting. On the other hand, I've never heard a woman indicate they find Sheldon or Steve Carrell's characters sexually exciting.

Jared Kushner only got that hot wife because of his money. I've never heard a woman express that they find him sexually exciting (I've heard his appearance described as sterile, dull, and even that he looks like there's something wrong with him)

 

[BadBoy89]

With Sheldon and Steve Carrell, the more important question is: How likely is it that a woman in real life would find their characters sexually exciting? (Because I'm trying to pique the interest of a real woman; not a fictional female character)

You are the one who brought the fictional characters.

On the other hand, I've never heard a woman indicate they find Sheldon or Steve Carrell's characters sexually exciting.

You brought up the fictional characters.

They found them sexually exciting enough to make out with them.

Jared Kushner only got that hot wife because of his money.

You don't know that. That's an assumption.

I've never heard a woman express that they find him sexually exciting

You don't know that. That's an assumption.

(I've heard his appearance described as sterile, dull, and even that he looks like there's something wrong with him)

Strange how you always hear the negative things, but you never hear the good things.

 

[BPH]

What a strange world we live in where telling a woman she looks good is somehow viewed as a soft rejection.

She didn't think you rejected her. She DID think you didn't have the balls to ask her out.

There is a difference. You're placing the blame on HER, rather than the part of the interaction YOU were in control of.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What a strange world we live in where telling a woman she looks good is somehow viewed as a soft rejection.

I can easily turn 'you look good' into a brutal rejection. It's the tone of voice.

 

[GoodMan32]

You are the one who brought the fictional characters.



You brought up the fictional characters.

They found them sexually exciting enough to make out with them.



You don't know that. That's an assumption.



You don't know that. That's an assumption.



Strange how you always hear the negative things, but you never hear the good things.

I brought up fictional characters in the context of real life individuals comparing me to said fictional characters.

In which case, the important thing is whether a real live woman finds said characters sexually exciting.

When a real live woman compares you to Sheldon or The 40 Year Old Virgin, she's pretty much saying "You have no sex appeal whatsoever."

Oh yeah, Alan from 2 and a Half Men is another TV character I've been compared to who's lacking in sex appeal.

As for why I've only heard the negatives a woman has said about Jared Kushner's appearance, that's because...drumroll...a woman has never indicated to me that she's attracted to Jared Kushner.

 

[GoodMan32]

She didn't think you rejected her. She DID think you didn't have the balls to ask her out.

There is a difference. You're placing the blame on HER, rather than the part of the interaction YOU were in control of.

As I explained on a past post (but I understand you said you don't have time to read the full thread), I've had the balls (pun intended) to get a full Brazilian wax once.

Other than getting kicked in the crotch, a full Brazilian is probably the most painful thing a man could experience down there.

The waxing technician said a lot of men quit as soon as she pulls the first strip of wax.

My point: My fear of getting rejected by a woman I'm going to cross paths with again doesn't make me cowardly. Every man is simply different in what he does or doesn't dare to do.

A lot of men who dare to possibly get rejected by a woman he's going to run into again wouldn't dare to get a full Brazilian.

 

[BPH]

My point: My fear of getting rejected by a woman I'm going to cross paths with again doesn't make me cowardly. Every man is simply different in what he does or doesn't dare to do.

You're the one who made a 7-page thread about it, not me.

By the way, you know you can quote multiple people in a single post, right? If you didn't respond to each comment with its own post these might be easier to read.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

By the way, you know you can quote multiple people in a single post, right? If you didn't respond to each comment with its own post these might be easier to read.

Come on, he doesn't want his post count to go down. Plus if he can fill a whole page with reply posts, he'll get much sooner to the double digit page count.

 

[GoodMan32]

You're the one who made a 7-page thread about it, not me.

By the way, you know you can quote multiple people in a single post, right? If you didn't respond to each comment with its own post these might be easier to read.

I'm aware I can quote multiple posters in a single post.

I generally don't (to avoid my post becoming too long). I will keep that in mind though.

And yeah, I made this thread about a girl I'm afraid to ask out (because of the possibility I might get rejected, and then have to cross paths with her). That doesn't mean I'm inviting others to call me a coward, however.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

And yeah, I made this thread about a girl I'm afraid to ask out (because of the possibility I might get rejected, and then have to cross paths with her). That doesn't mean I'm inviting others to call me a coward, however.

Then what does it mean?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Then what does it mean?

I would assume, as would most reasonable people, that he's asking for constructive advice rather than AA-ism.

 

[GoodMan32]

Then what does it mean?

It means posters can discuss the topic without resorting to calling me (the man who dared to get his pubes removed in the most painful way possible, and has moved places where he knew no one more than once) a coward just because he's afraid of getting rejected by a woman he'll cross paths with again.

 

[BadBoy89]

I brought up fictional characters in the context of real life individuals comparing me to said fictional characters.

In which case, the important thing is whether a real live woman finds said characters sexually exciting.

It’s either real life real life or fictional fictional, Comparing real life to fictional is apples and oranges.

When a real live woman compares you to Sheldon or The 40 Year Old Virgin, she's pretty much saying "You have no sex appeal whatsoever."

She is saying if you play your cards right you can make out with Penny.

Oh yeah, Alan from 2 and a Half Men is another TV character I've been compared to who's lacking in sex appeal.

He got the hottest girls too. Man you are lucky to be compared to him.

As for why I've only heard the negatives a woman has said about Jared Kushner's appearance, that's because...drumroll...a woman has never indicated to me that she's attracted to Jared Kushner.

Yet Ivanka is hot and she is not only attracted, she married him and had 2 kids with him,

 

[BaronOfHair]

As ironic as this will sound (coming from me), you sound like a pedantic autist.

You know what I meant when I said the cafe girl doesn't look like she has any African admixture.

You not recognizing jocularity is nothing new

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It means posters can discuss the topic without resorting to calling me (the man who dared to get his pubes removed in the most painful way possible, and has moved places where he knew no one more than once) a coward just because he's afraid of getting rejected by a woman he'll cross paths with again.

First of all, the things you mention are not really courageous. Women get Brazilian waxes and electrolysis all the time, I wouldn't call pube removal to be courageous. And moving to new places where you don't know anyone is quite normal and not many people become shut-ins like yourself, so it's not like you make a new social circle wherever you go. Being a shut-in in Pennsylvania doesn't require more courage than being a shut-in in Massachusetts. So, if that is your 'proof' for not being a coward, it's not really working.

Second, cowardice regarding rejection doesn't automatically mean you are a coward. It means you're behaving like a coward in this matter. It would be courageous to overcome your fear and stop being so worried about getting rejected. That's why people are encouraging you to take action. If you were a genuine coward, all this encouragement wouldn't work...

 

[GoodMan32]

First of all, the things you mention are not really courageous. Women get Brazilian waxes and electrolysis all the time, I wouldn't call pube removal to be courageous. And moving to new places where you don't know anyone is quite normal and not many people become shut-ins like yourself, so it's not like you make a new social circle wherever you go. Being a shut-in in Pennsylvania doesn't require more courage than being a shut-in in Massachusetts. So, if that is your 'proof' for not being a coward, it's not really working.

Second, cowardice regarding rejection doesn't automatically mean you are a coward. It means you're behaving like a coward in this matter. It would be courageous to overcome your fear and stop being so worried about getting rejected. That's why people are encouraging you to take action. If you were a genuine coward, all this encouragement wouldn't work...

A Brazilian is way more painful for a man than for a woman.

As for moving to places where you know no one, I've heard others say they wouldn't dare to.

As for the rejection thing, I (a straight man) would rather kiss a man than cross paths with a woman I got rejected by. I really don't think there's any curing a phobia that crippling.