I had a flirt session the other day. Ran into her again today. What to make of her behavior?

[GoodMan32]

The scenario you describe is highly unlikely.

The most probable scenario is that she wasn't hot for you at all but just simply liked your hair that day. I said that on Page 1.

@AmsterdamAssassin identified a realistic scenario that she was horny that day. It's possible that she is not a birth control user and was ovulating that day. You said that she is a Latina. I think birth control use rates are lower among Latinas. If she was hot for you that day due to ovulation, the attraction window passed.

Interesting hypothesis (she was only selectively horny for me during a brief window of ovulation)

The thought of having intercourse with a woman who's

-young
-ovulating
-not on birth control

is terrifying for me

That's the trifecta of terrifying sex.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

is terrifying for me

and even non-autistic people can confuse fear and excitement and arousal

 

[SW15]

Interesting hypothesis (she was only selectively horny for me during a brief window of ovulation)

Ovulation is when women are horniest and most interested in sex.

A large percentage of women are on birth control and not ovulating.

The thought of having intercourse with a woman who's

-young
-ovulating
-not on birth control

is terrifying for me

That's the trifecta of terrifying sex.

This sounds like a common point of view for an autistic person but far less common for a neurotypical.

There are many neurotypicals who are seeking to avoid pregnancy.

This is why condoms exist. When a man uses a condom, he is able to have sex with young women who are fertile, ovulating in that moment of sex, and not on birth control. He doesn't have to worry about pregnancy even if he ejaculates inside of her vagina.

I have ejaculated inside a woman's vagina while using a condom during her ovulation while she wasn't on birth control multiple times. It never resulted in a pregnancy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah I forgot about that phobia. Like, why wouldn't you make your already difficult situation more impossible?

Are you afraid that giving birth gonna hurt you Vgg?

What
Do
You
Want

The ability to cry and whine and tell everyone why their advice won't work for him and then bemoan his lot in life, which is 100% under his control to change if he actually wanted to.

Unsure why he even bothers posting on this forum since he refuses to accept any advice and then will shoot down any potential things he could differently because he "tried them once" and they didn't work or he did them before...

Needless to say OP has not spent enough time on task to have any expectations of getting better at it and as such continues to try and come up with some nonsensical ideas about how to avoid failing when he should be looking to fail more so he could actually improve his abilities in this domain.

 

[GoodMan32]

The ability to cry and whine and tell everyone why their advice won't work for him and then bemoan his lot in life, which is 100% under his control to change if he actually wanted to.

Unsure why he even bothers posting on this forum since he refuses to accept any advice and then will shoot down any potential things he could differently because he "tried them once" and they didn't work or he did them before...

Needless to say OP has not spent enough time on task to have any expectations of getting better at it and as such continues to try and come up with some nonsensical ideas about how to avoid failing when he should be looking to fail more so he could actually improve his abilities in this domain.

Umm, I'm learning (slowly but surely)

I attended the 2 recent speed dating events.

I told the cafe girl she looks good.

Then on a post this morning, I mentioned another strategy I thought of to tell broads they look good more often.

My trajectory might not look the same as most men, yet I'm making progress.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Umm, I'm learning (slowly but surely)

I attended the 2 recent speed dating events.

I told the cafe girl she looks good.

Then on a post this morning, I mentioned another strategy I thought of to tell broads they look good more often.

My trajectory might not look the same as most men, yet I'm making progress.

SMFH...continuing to use the word broad...you think it doesn't matter in your interactions with women but you assuredly subconsciously project that word to them while you are talking with them and they sense it.

 

[GoodMan32]

SMFH...continuing to use the word broad...you think it doesn't matter in your interactions with women but you assuredly subconsciously project that word to them while you are talking with them and they sense it.

Even though I learned the term broad in high school (circa 2007), I didn't start commonly using the term until 2023. My struggles with the ladies go much further back than 2023.

 

[Clockwerk50]

If a waitress, bank teller, or other customer service worker is interested in you and she's meeting you while she's in her workplace, the interest would be immediate. I think you're correct.

The situations of interest are much rarer than most men think that they are.

I've read that women who work in mall stores are more opened to being approached for romantic purposes during slower times. Weekends in general are not a good time for sparking romantic interest from a woman working in a mall store. In general, all of November and December are bad for that since that is peak season in the malls.

If a man goes to Dillard's at 2 PM on a Wednesday in March, he's best positioned to hit on a Dillard's store employee in the mall.

Right. It basically operates on the premise that it's easier to influence someone who is bored or dissatisfied with their current situation. Such individuals are more prone to fantasize and develop 'oneitis,' fixating on a person or ideal as a way to escape their dissatisfaction.

It will be harder to get the attention of an inside sales associate if they are preoccupied with customers, orders, and the stress of their daily life like exams or something. However, if the boss is not around, it is summer time, and they are bored working at Banana Republic or Guess, and then you come in smelling like Louis Voutton and a fresh haircut, you can give her the impression that you can provide excitement into their boring life while you try out some jeans.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Even though I learned the term broad in high school (circa 2007), I didn't start commonly using the term until 2023. My struggles with the ladies go much further back than 2023.

Irrelevant. Stop using it.

 

[GoodMan32]

Right. It basically operates on the premise that it's easier to influence someone who is bored or dissatisfied with their current situation. Such individuals are more prone to fantasize and develop 'oneitis,' fixating on a person or ideal as a way to escape their dissatisfaction.

It will be harder to get the attention of an inside sales associate if they are preoccupied with customers, orders, and the stress of their daily life like exams or something. However, if the boss is not around, it is summer time, and they are bored working at Banana Republic or Guess, and then you come in smelling like Louis Voutton and a fresh haircut, you can give her the impression that you can provide excitement into their boring life while you try out some jeans.

Back when I was 27, I recall a time at American Eagle when I missed a potential opportunity. The story took place in mid-October (in other words, before the Christmas rush). The store was pretty quiet. Would have been the perfect time.

 

[GoodMan32]

Irrelevant. Stop using it.

Fine. Every time I want to say the word broads on this forum, I will try to say the word gals.

I hate the term women (and go out of my way to use it as little as possible)

 

[SW15]

Back when I was 27, I recall a time at American Eagle when I missed a potential opportunity. The story took place in mid-October (in other words, before the Christmas rush). The store was pretty quiet. Would have been the perfect time.

The Christmas rush is not a good time at all in malls. Shoppers are too focused on their holiday list to make good pickup targets. No one is in the mood for an extended conversation that might assess compatibility for a first date. The store employees in the malls are also too busy for an extended conversation that might assess compatibility for a first date.

January is a better time in the malls. There are fewer people. Mall customers in January would be more inclined to have a conversation. The same would go for mall employees on a weekday.

Most men don't have the lifestyle to go to the mall on a weekday to hit on store employees. It might be an option on a weekday evening for most men but weekday evenings can be busier for store employees. The best time to hit on store employees is midday on a weekday during the non-holiday rush.

Most venues are going to be below average for finding new prospects during the November 15-December 31 period. The holiday season is brutal for approaching strangers or for using swipe apps to schedule first dates. Private residence holiday parties are the best option during this time of the year for meeting someone who could be a first date option.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Fine. Every time I want to say the word broads on this forum, I will try to say the word gals.

I hate the term women (and go out of my way to use it as little as possible)

And you can use 'molls' for the evil ones.

 

[GoodMan32]

The Christmas rush is not a good time at all in malls. Shoppers are too focused on their holiday list to make good pickup targets. No one is in the mood for an extended conversation that might assess compatibility for a first date. The store employees in the malls are also too busy for an extended conversation that might assess compatibility for a first date.

January is a better time in the malls. There are fewer people. Mall customers in January would be more inclined to have a conversation. The same would go for mall employees on a weekday.

Most men don't have the lifestyle to go to the mall on a weekday to hit on store employees. It might be an option on a weekday evening for most men but weekday evenings can be busier for store employees. The best time to hit on store employees is midday on a weekday during the non-holiday rush.

Most venues are going to be below average for finding new prospects during the November 15-December 31 period. The holiday season is brutal for approaching strangers or for using swipe apps to schedule first dates. Private residence holiday parties are the best option during this time of the year for meeting someone who could be a first date option.

One benefit of the fact I used to work retail was that I'd get days off in the middle of the week (therefore, if I wasn't so shy, I theoretically could have shot my shot on retail employees in other shopping centers during their slow times)

Overall, the drawbacks of working retail (having to work evenings/weekends, difficult customers, as well as not even having a set schedule from week to week) outweighed the one perk I just mentioned.

 

[Solomon]

I just cannot relate to OP, I mean if he was in his teens or early 20s I would understand but this guy is 32 years old., 32 ****ing years old
OP you cooked bro

 

[GoodMan32]

I just cannot relate to OP, I mean if he was in his teens or early 20s I would understand but this guy is 32 years old., 32 ****ing years old
OP you cooked bro

Even worse: I'm thirty-three

After reading your post, it finally occurred to me why I'm this far behind for my age. At 23, I discovered a loophole for getting laid. As a result, I stopped developing at 23 (hence why I sound like I'm in my early 20s)

With how active I've been on the forum in recent months (combined with the baby steps I've been making lately), I think I'm finally finding the motivation to continue developing.

 

[SW15]

One benefit of the fact I used to work retail was that I'd get days off in the middle of the week (therefore, if I wasn't so shy, I theoretically could have shot my shot on retail employees in other shopping centers during their slow times)

Overall, the drawbacks of working retail (having to work evenings/weekends, difficult customers, as well as not even having a set schedule from week to week) outweighed the one perk I just mentioned.

Retail and service sector workers tend to date each other. There's a reason for that.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Caribbean Latinas are often mixed with African. I will say this much: She doesn't look like she has any African admixture.

Given that our species began in what's today Africa, we ALL carry admixture from said continent, hoss

 

[BaronOfHair]

With all due respect, a Starbucks employee who used to flirt with me circa 2017 is totally relevant on a thread about cafe flirting.

If you don't want to hear about a female Starbucks employee flirting with me, maybe don't read a thread about cafe flirting?

Point is that it's gainless to offer you any pointers, when you react by concocting excuses to not take them, rather than saying: "Much appreciated. I'll give it a whirl"

 

[BPH]

There's a cafe in my office building. On Monday, a female cafe employee did what could be viewed as a flirt session with me.

She talked about my hair an awful lot. She asked if I dyed my hair, she said my hair looks good, she said she likes my haircut, she said my hair looks good a 2nd time.

After the 2nd time she said my hair looks good, I said "You look good too."

She said "Thank you."

Then today, I ran into her for the first time since our flirt session. She was back to business as usual today. She only did the basic customer service stuff. No side comments or flirting. And no, it's not that there was a line today. I was the only customer in there.

What should I make of her behavior?

(To give you an idea of her looks, she's a busty Latina. I'd estimate she's early 20s. And even if she's older than early 20s, I'd say the odds are close to 100% she's below 30)

I'm not reading 6 pages of this.

Either:

A. She was flirting and interested, but lost interest when you didn't reciprocate enough for her to feel like you were interested in her too.

B. She's a service-industry worker and it's her job to be nice to customers so they come back and/or tip higher.

In either case, this is why I always advocate for being direct. Saves you a lot of time and guesswork.