I had a flirt session the other day. Ran into her again today. What to make of her behavior?

[Hamurabimbi]

I've never mentioned the Starbucks flirter from when I was 26 before.

 

[GoodMan32]

I think waitresses, tellers, and other customer service workers often show interest in you during the first 2-3 interactions. After that, if you continue returning, you become just another regular customer.

When I was younger, I used to go to this bank where an Eastern European woman would flirt with me every time I went in to make a deposit. I even earned some extra brownie points with her because one of my friends worked with her at a shoe store. Unfortunately, I never had the nerve to ask her out for various reasons.

More recently, in the past couple of months, I started picking up pizza from this hole in the wall spot instead of ordering through UberEats. One of the cashiers was a mid-sized woman who wore a push-up bra that noticeably increased the size of her breasts and made them bigger than what they were. During the first few visits, she seemed genuinely happy to see me, and there was one instance where I could have asked her out and she would have said yes right away. I didn’t, though, because I have a lot going on in my life. Now, she completely ignores me whenever I go in. It’s clear to me that the change in her behavior is her way of signaling disinterest, and I’ve subtly conveyed that I’m not interested either.

In the end, it’s clear that customer-service interactions are often fleeting, and the initial interest can quickly fade once you settle into the role of a regular customer. Whether it’s due to busy lives or changing dynamics, sometimes what seems like a potential connection just doesn’t develop the way you might hope.

What you're saying totally makes sense. I should point out, however, that the girl this thread is about has had many cafe transactions with me before.

As for the general topic of broads in service jobs, I have a story (and the ending of the story shows signs of me making progress in coming out of my shell).

I was at the bank yesterday morning. I got a female teller. I had never been served by her before. She complimented my vest/shirt.

I did nothing.

Later when I was at home, however, I got an idea: From now on, when a woman (and not just a woman at a service job; this strategy applies to the female population in general too) compliments anything about my appearance (whether it be my attire, hair, etc), I'm going to (if I find her attractive) tell her she looks good (one glaring exception: if a female coworker compliments me)

I'm aware that, in many cases, just because a woman likes my hair/attire/etc doesn't mean she's into me. It's still worth a try to escalate, however.

Had I told the bank teller she looks good, maybe something would have come from it, maybe not. We'll never know.

So in the long run, telling the cafe girl she looks good ended up helping me a ton. It got me to realize how easy it is to tell a woman she looks good...after she breaks the initial ice of course.

Since I have a hard time (for a number of reasons) finding the strength to cold approach a woman out of the blue, this strategy of only trying to escalate after the woman breaks the ice is perhaps the best course of action for this autist.

 

[GoodMan32]

This is all likely much more foreboding than you recognize, if she's Latina from The Carribean

I don't know the exact branch of Latina she belongs to. I'd guess Mexican, as that's what most Latinas where I live are.

Caribbean Latinas are often mixed with African. I will say this much: She doesn't look like she has any African admixture.

 

[GoodMan32]

I'll take the bait

A woman peeing is part of having a woman who feels comfortable around you. She won't care to do that with the door open. Another reason to cut out this bs and follow the principles. You read my thread about the basics. Shows again you know absolutely nothing about women...

You fecking freak.

When I was 20, a woman cheated on her boyfriend with me. After I gave her an orgasm-fueled romp, she let me watch her pee.

A promising sign that I am capable of getting a woman to let me watch.

Other non-escorts have let me watch too for that matter.

 

[GoodMan32]

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With all due respect, a Starbucks employee who used to flirt with me circa 2017 is totally relevant on a thread about cafe flirting.

If you don't want to hear about a female Starbucks employee flirting with me, maybe don't read a thread about cafe flirting?

 

[Gamisch]

When I was 20, a woman cheated on her boyfriend with me. After I gave her an orgasm-fueled romp, she let me watch her pee.

A promising sign that I am capable of getting a woman to let me watch.

Other non-escorts have let me watch too for that matter.

You don't get it. A woman peeing in front of you is normal if she feels comfortable around you. Its not my fetish so I never really got exited about it, but it did stand out to me how women DGAF and don't even bother to close the door.

But yeah you are weird like that. Behind your weirdness is are TONS of issues that prevent you from forming meaningful relationships with women.

 

[GoodMan32]

You don't get it. A woman peeing in front of you is normal if she feels comfortable around you. Its not my fetish so I never really got exited about it, but it did stand out to me how women DGAF and don't even bother to close the door.

But yeah you are weird like that. Behind your weirdness is are TONS of issues that prevent you from forming meaningful relationships with women.

I have lots of issues that prevent me from having more luck with the ladies (whether it be dates, sex, witnessed urination, etc). I totally admit that.

My post was meant to be encouraging. The fact even I've gotten broads to let me watch while they pee is impressive (and shows I am capable of succeeding with the ladies, no matter how many naysayers tell me I should give up on account of being an autist)

And yeah, even in my limited success, I've noticed the same thing about a woman (in some cases at least) not giving enough of a damn to even close the door. I guess that's a good sign that I was able to make a woman feel comfortable enough to leave the door open.

 

[SW15]

I think waitresses, tellers, and other customer service workers often show interest in you during the first 2-3 interactions. After that, if you continue returning, you become just another regular customer.

When I was younger, I used to go to this bank where an Eastern European woman would flirt with me every time I went in to make a deposit. I even earned some extra brownie points with her because one of my friends worked with her at a shoe store. Unfortunately, I never had the nerve to ask her out for various reasons.

More recently, in the past couple of months, I started picking up pizza from this hole in the wall spot instead of ordering through UberEats. One of the cashiers was a mid-sized woman who wore a push-up bra that noticeably increased the size of her breasts and made them bigger than what they were. During the first few visits, she seemed genuinely happy to see me, and there was one instance where I could have asked her out and she would have said yes right away. I didn’t, though, because I have a lot going on in my life. Now, she completely ignores me whenever I go in. It’s clear to me that the change in her behavior is her way of signaling disinterest, and I’ve subtly conveyed that I’m not interested either.

In the end, it’s clear that customer-service interactions are often fleeting, and the initial interest can quickly fade once you settle into the role of a regular customer. Whether it’s due to busy lives or changing dynamics, sometimes what seems like a potential connection just doesn’t develop the way you might hope.

If a waitress, bank teller, or other customer service worker is interested in you and she's meeting you while she's in her workplace, the interest would be immediate. I think you're correct.

The situations of interest are much rarer than most men think that they are.

I've read that women who work in mall stores are more opened to being approached for romantic purposes during slower times. Weekends in general are not a good time for sparking romantic interest from a woman working in a mall store. In general, all of November and December are bad for that since that is peak season in the malls.

If a man goes to Dillard's at 2 PM on a Wednesday in March, he's best positioned to hit on a Dillard's store employee in the mall.

 

[GoodMan32]

If a waitress, bank teller, or other customer service worker is interested in you and she's meeting you while she's in her workplace, the interest would be immediate. I think you're correct.

The situations of interest are much rarer than most men think that they are.

I've read that women who work in mall stores are more opened to being approached for romantic purposes during slower times. Weekends in general are not a good time for sparking romantic interest from a woman working in a mall store. In general, all of November and December are bad for that since that is peak season in the malls.

If a man goes to Dillard's at 2 PM on a Wednesday in March, he's best positioned to hit on a Dillard's store employee in the mall.

What about the girl the thread is about?

Is it possible she's into me, yet it took a while for her to work up the courage to admit it (and perhaps the fact I was wearing more hair gel than usual the other day gave her an in to finally comment on my appearance)?

 

[SW15]

What about the girl the thread is about?

Is it possible she's into me, yet it took a while for her to work up the courage to admit it (and perhaps the fact I was wearing more hair gel than usual the other day gave her an in to finally comment on my appearance)?

The scenario you describe is highly unlikely.

The most probable scenario is that she wasn't hot for you at all but just simply liked your hair that day. I said that on Page 1.

@AmsterdamAssassin identified a realistic scenario that she was horny that day. It's possible that she is not a birth control user and was ovulating that day. You said that she is a Latina. I think birth control use rates are lower among Latinas. If she was hot for you that day due to ovulation, the attraction window passed.

 

[GoodMan32]

It is possible she was taking the piss and seeing if you'd think she's flirting with you while mocking the huge amount of gel in your hair.
It is possible she noticed you drooling after her before and was simply curious how easily she could manipulate you.

We simply don't know, since from your autistic perspective it's very easy to exaggerate the usual service banter into 'she wants me'.

I suppose it is possible she's noticed me checking out her big melons before

 

[GoodMan32]

The scenario you describe is highly unlikely.

The most probable scenario is that she wasn't hot for you at all but just simply liked your hair that day. I said that on Page 1.

@AmsterdamAssassin identified a realistic scenario that she was horny that day. It's possible that she is not a birth control user and was ovulating that day. You said that she is a Latina. I think birth control use rates are lower among Latinas. If she was hot for you that day due to ovulation, the attraction window passed.

Interesting hypothesis (she was only selectively horny for me during a brief window of ovulation)

The thought of having intercourse with a woman who's

-young
-ovulating
-not on birth control

is terrifying for me

That's the trifecta of terrifying sex.

 

[SW15]

Interesting hypothesis (she was only selectively horny for me during a brief window of ovulation)

Ovulation is when women are horniest and most interested in sex.

A large percentage of women are on birth control and not ovulating.

The thought of having intercourse with a woman who's

-young
-ovulating
-not on birth control

is terrifying for me

That's the trifecta of terrifying sex.

This sounds like a common point of view for an autistic person but far less common for a neurotypical.

There are many neurotypicals who are seeking to avoid pregnancy.

This is why condoms exist. When a man uses a condom, he is able to have sex with young women who are fertile, ovulating in that moment of sex, and not on birth control. He doesn't have to worry about pregnancy even if he ejaculates inside of her vagina.

I have ejaculated inside a woman's vagina while using a condom during her ovulation while she wasn't on birth control multiple times. It never resulted in a pregnancy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah I forgot about that phobia. Like, why wouldn't you make your already difficult situation more impossible?

Are you afraid that giving birth gonna hurt you Vgg?

What
Do
You
Want

The ability to cry and whine and tell everyone why their advice won't work for him and then bemoan his lot in life, which is 100% under his control to change if he actually wanted to.

Unsure why he even bothers posting on this forum since he refuses to accept any advice and then will shoot down any potential things he could differently because he "tried them once" and they didn't work or he did them before...

Needless to say OP has not spent enough time on task to have any expectations of getting better at it and as such continues to try and come up with some nonsensical ideas about how to avoid failing when he should be looking to fail more so he could actually improve his abilities in this domain.

 

[GoodMan32]

The ability to cry and whine and tell everyone why their advice won't work for him and then bemoan his lot in life, which is 100% under his control to change if he actually wanted to.

Unsure why he even bothers posting on this forum since he refuses to accept any advice and then will shoot down any potential things he could differently because he "tried them once" and they didn't work or he did them before...

Needless to say OP has not spent enough time on task to have any expectations of getting better at it and as such continues to try and come up with some nonsensical ideas about how to avoid failing when he should be looking to fail more so he could actually improve his abilities in this domain.

Umm, I'm learning (slowly but surely)

I attended the 2 recent speed dating events.

I told the cafe girl she looks good.

Then on a post this morning, I mentioned another strategy I thought of to tell broads they look good more often.

My trajectory might not look the same as most men, yet I'm making progress.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Umm, I'm learning (slowly but surely)

I attended the 2 recent speed dating events.

I told the cafe girl she looks good.

Then on a post this morning, I mentioned another strategy I thought of to tell broads they look good more often.

My trajectory might not look the same as most men, yet I'm making progress.

SMFH...continuing to use the word broad...you think it doesn't matter in your interactions with women but you assuredly subconsciously project that word to them while you are talking with them and they sense it.

 

[GoodMan32]

SMFH...continuing to use the word broad...you think it doesn't matter in your interactions with women but you assuredly subconsciously project that word to them while you are talking with them and they sense it.

Even though I learned the term broad in high school (circa 2007), I didn't start commonly using the term until 2023. My struggles with the ladies go much further back than 2023.

 

[Clockwerk50]

If a waitress, bank teller, or other customer service worker is interested in you and she's meeting you while she's in her workplace, the interest would be immediate. I think you're correct.

The situations of interest are much rarer than most men think that they are.

I've read that women who work in mall stores are more opened to being approached for romantic purposes during slower times. Weekends in general are not a good time for sparking romantic interest from a woman working in a mall store. In general, all of November and December are bad for that since that is peak season in the malls.

If a man goes to Dillard's at 2 PM on a Wednesday in March, he's best positioned to hit on a Dillard's store employee in the mall.

Right. It basically operates on the premise that it's easier to influence someone who is bored or dissatisfied with their current situation. Such individuals are more prone to fantasize and develop 'oneitis,' fixating on a person or ideal as a way to escape their dissatisfaction.

It will be harder to get the attention of an inside sales associate if they are preoccupied with customers, orders, and the stress of their daily life like exams or something. However, if the boss is not around, it is summer time, and they are bored working at Banana Republic or Guess, and then you come in smelling like Louis Voutton and a fresh haircut, you can give her the impression that you can provide excitement into their boring life while you try out some jeans.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Even though I learned the term broad in high school (circa 2007), I didn't start commonly using the term until 2023. My struggles with the ladies go much further back than 2023.

Irrelevant. Stop using it.

 

[GoodMan32]

Right. It basically operates on the premise that it's easier to influence someone who is bored or dissatisfied with their current situation. Such individuals are more prone to fantasize and develop 'oneitis,' fixating on a person or ideal as a way to escape their dissatisfaction.

It will be harder to get the attention of an inside sales associate if they are preoccupied with customers, orders, and the stress of their daily life like exams or something. However, if the boss is not around, it is summer time, and they are bored working at Banana Republic or Guess, and then you come in smelling like Louis Voutton and a fresh haircut, you can give her the impression that you can provide excitement into their boring life while you try out some jeans.

Back when I was 27, I recall a time at American Eagle when I missed a potential opportunity. The story took place in mid-October (in other words, before the Christmas rush). The store was pretty quiet. Would have been the perfect time.