Harsh Truth: Women pursue the men that they want

H8CourtshipWithAPassion

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Not really, but you want fit females, don't you? Then you will have to be fit.

If you can't be bothered to improve yourself, you can always date women on your own level. Unattractive women need love too.
yeah, sometimes i get filled with anger and rage, it pisses me off, whenever people and society have the mindset that men have it better than women do, why should a guy feel lucky to be born a man?

reminds me, i'll never forget this statement, it is: "
"Boo ****ing hoo. We also don't have to go through child birth and we're strong as ****.
Testosterone
gives us ambition + mental and physical strength that MANY (not all) women are lacking. Being a man has many benefits and with great power comes great responsibility. Stop crying about it and get your ****ing **** together"

One pick up artist guy said that, it pissed me off so damn much, the thought that went through my mind, i feel its not appropriate for me tii disclose.
 

H8CourtshipWithAPassion

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You should feel lucky you were born at all, and being born in a First World Country on top of that.

Your main problem is wallowing in self-pity. Self-pity is unattractive. Keep on whining and you'll never become the company women seek out.
yup, it doesn't help that it only added fuel to fire, that i was involved with a woman that was more of a friend instead of a girlfriend, yeah, i refuse to call her an ex.
 

H8CourtshipWithAPassion

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Care to share more?
i refuse to call her an ex because, our relationship never progressed below the pants, i never even got a handjob from her either. 2 guesses as to why 1. She told me she was a virgin, so its possible she wasn't ready. 2. She is on the autism spectrum like i am, and i did some research, it says that a portion of people on the autism spectrum are asexual.
 

GoodMan32

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OP, your post is a gem.

I've been told I should pursue broads because the vast majority of the female population supposedly won't pursue a man.

I've also been told the same thing you're saying, however. I've been told the fact hardly any woman pursues me means hardly any woman is into me.

Come to think of it, my last instance of free sex just sort of happened (with neither of us necessarily making the move). Same goes for the 2nd to last time I had free sex.

The last date I went on, I also wasn't actively looking (hell, I was trying to help another man get a date). The 2nd to last date I went on, the woman pursued me.
 

Chow Mein

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i refuse to call her an ex because, our relationship never progressed below the pants, i never even got a handjob from her either. 2 guesses as to why 1. She told me she was a virgin, so its possible she wasn't ready. 2. She is on the autism spectrum like i am, and i did some research, it says that a portion of people on the autism spectrum are asexual.
That’s really interesting. Thanks for sharing.

Did you both agree to be monogamous? That would be pretty rough
 

MatureDJ

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If you have a reputation for being highly desirable, you don’t need to chase women—they’ll come to you. Even if your reputation isn’t great, hinting that many others have found you appealing can work in the long run. An empty nightclub with vacant tables is the best way to discourage you from going in.
They way to get a reputation for being highly desirable is to BE highly desirable:
Career in finance,
with a trust find,
6'5",
blue eyes
About the only thing the typical man can do is pursue that degree in finance, and hustle his way to actually getting a job in it., and luck out with the eyes. That height is a 2.5-sigma attribute :rolleyes:, and is much more useful in attraction than being 2.5-sigma in intelligence. :mad:
 

MatureDJ

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OP, your post is a gem.

I've been told I should pursue broads because the vast majority of the female population supposedly won't pursue a man.
I haven't encountered that word since watching this movie:


Oh, and if we were back at that era, there would be no impetus for "game", since the mating system worked. :rolleyes::mad:
 

GoodMan32

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I haven't encountered that word since watching this movie:


Oh, and if we were back at that era, there would be no impetus for "game", since the mating system worked. :rolleyes::mad:
Shockingly, I learned the term broad when I was in high school (circa 2007) from another then-student.

The term was used way more in the Frank Sinatra era though; you're right. You're also right when you say the dating/sex marketplace worked back then.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

H8CourtshipWithAPassion

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That’s really interesting. Thanks for sharing.

Did you both agree to be monogamous? That would be pretty rough
yes, and i will admit, i stayed with her longer than i should have, i was reluctant to break up with her for a while, because 1, i was hoping she would change her mind and eventually become comfortable, and 2, didn't want to become alone or single again, or bigger reason, didn't want to have to go through the drama and burden of having to put myself out there all over again, not want to have to hit on lots of women all over again, do the pursuing all over again.

The only woman i dated in which there was intimacy involved, in which we actually slept with each other, was a 4-month situationship, we were never exclusive as BF/GF, and we never introduced each other to our parents/families. Nevertheless, she was and always will be an important milestone in my dating life, before her, i never got a second date with a woman.
 
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GoodMan32

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yes, and i will admit, i stayed with her longer than i should have, i was reluctant to break up with her for a while, because 1, i was hoping she would change her mind and eventually become comfortable, and 2, didn't want to become alone or single again, or bigger reason, didn't want to have to go through the drama and burden of having to put myself out there all over again, not want to have to hit on lots of women all over again, do the pursuing all over again.

The only woman i dated in which there was intimacy involved, in which we actually slept with each other, was a 4-month situationship, we were never exclusive as BF/GF, and we never introduced each other to our parents/families. Nevertheless, she was and always will be an important milestone in my dating life, before her, i never got a second date with a woman.
I stayed in some relationships in the past simply because I had a hard time finding a woman (and, like you, I was reluctant to put myself in a position where I'd need to start the process all over). If I could go back, I never would have stayed in those relationships.
 

GoodMan32

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Yeah I learned that term from my mom, a boomer. On here, I often use the term “chick” which is also very outdated to be fair lol.
I remember the term chick was commonly used when I was in middle school through college.

Not a whole lot anymore.
 

jhonny9546

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What about those women who are totally invested in a man at the beginning and continue to show that level of investment even 20 years after the LTR with that same man, even if he is nothing special in his SMV?

There's also the phenomenon discussed on the subreddit r/GirlsMirin. Does this resemble Oneitis, but from a woman perspective?

This happened once in my life with a woman whom I unfortunately did not want to be with. The LTR lasted two years, and she still showed interest in me for five years after we broke up. She is a 7 and stayed single for about one year after we broke up, even though she had many requests from other guys.

This would be interesting to look into.
 

Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BaronOfHair

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The romanticized notion of tirelessly pursuing the girl of your dreams, as portrayed in Hollywood and popular culture, often falls short of reality. Instead, men would benefit from prioritizing maintaining attraction.
That, or fork over a chunk of change on a van, stun gun, lifetime supply of flex cuffs, and soundproofing your basement. Hell, if one goes this route it's probably astute to keep a solid defense attorney on retainer also, for the inevitable trial in federal court
 

SW15

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Women really don't 'pursue' men they want... they just don't make things difficult. A quality attractive woman, who is single will have at least three men chasing after her, likely more. They say yes to dates, they show up, and they are pleasant when you are with them. This is as good as it gets with attractive sane women. Rinse and repeat and if she really wants you, she will make herself scarce with the other dudes and focus on the one she really wants.... this takes time and patience.
I think you are describing a woman with medium interest.
@RangerMIke could be describing a woman with medium interest. At a minimum, that's a woman with medium to medium-high interest.

Doc Love used to have a concept that I first read about when I was in college in the early 2000s. He had this idea that women's interest levels operated on percentages from 0% to 100%. Closer to 100% was high interest. 50%+ interest level was something that was workable.

Women don't pursue in the way that men pursue. Women don't initiate interactions. Women are responsive when men initiate and escalate or they are not responsive. Additionally, women raise objections to initiations and escalations (making things more difficult) when they have lower interest levels. The less interest, the more difficult they make it. When women like you, they make things as easy as they possible can.

Women pursue in the way that they are most responsive to the option they like the best.

A woman might be dating three guys... if they all start off at the same time, she will MOST LIKELY have medium interest in all of them. As she dates them, she will eventually start liking one more that the others. If you happen to be the guy she is very interested in, she will make things easier and easier... will go along and do what you want to do... she will even start reaching out to you more. If you are one of the other two dudes, she will make things harder and harder and hope they take the hint and drift off. If they don't, she'll say "We have to talk.", but she will be disappointed that they didn't take the hint, because at that point she knows those dudes are more interested in her than she is in him.

Only when all the other dudes are out of the picture, will she seriously start to pursue that man she wants.
A scenario like this does happen but usually not exactly at the same time. There's usually some difference in the timelines. It might be something like 1-3 weeks. Not everyone is moving around the exact same time.

If there are 3 men a woman has medium interest in, then there will be scenario where she gets most interested in 1 under the condition she is seeking some sort of exclusive relationship.

It is extremely rare to have a woman just fall for a guy at first sight. Men do this all the time: it is unusual for women to do this.
I agree.

Yes, women have multiple men chasing them, but they do not care about most of these men.
Women today have ridiculous abundance.

Let's compare the situation women have had since the de-stigmatization of tech-based options (mid-2000s to present) as compared to the era before then but after the onset of the Sexual Revolution (1970s - mid-2000s).

In the 1970s - mid-2000s, women would generate interest based on their day-to-day routines in the world. Some women had better routines than others. Some women made me effort to meet men by going to bars more. Some women also had better non-bar routines. A woman with a decent routine might get approached in the real world by 7-15 men in a week depending on her age, looks, and effort in the real world. That's a decent quantity of options.

Since dating from tech methods got de-stigmatized in the mid-2000s, women have far more options than comparable women of the 1970s to circa 2005. A woman's day-to-day routine matters much less now. A woman who has taken a few good pictures on a couple days of her life, owns a smartphone, and has downloaded 1-2 apps now has a constant flow of 200+ new options per week in her swipe queue. This happens while she sits at home and watches internet content and streaming video platform content.

However, most women don't think much of their abundance because most women aren't impressed with the 200+ penises in their swipe queue. They can also add some more options from the social media DMs too.

If a woman fails to find this guy she will either settle with the second best option or just continue being emotionally single in her head. This is why I say anything below high interest is low interest because you run the risk of being instantly dropped for the right type of guy to come along.
A well known internet example of this is content creator Courtney Ryan. Courtney eventually settled for a dweeb with money/status named Teddy Baldassarre after failing to get a commitment from Alpha Chad types. Compared to most women, Courtney had more self-awareness and learned faster. She decided to settle around 23-25 with that dweeb with money option.

It's more common for women to be like the fitness class instructor that I overheard after a fitness class once. At the time, she was 30 years old and telling a female fitness class attendee about how using swipe app had been a disaster for her. This was a 30 year old who was better looking than Courtney Ryan. She had been riding the penis carousel and not getting commitment from the likely higher tier men she wanted a commitment from.

Courtney Ryan is a flight risk for Teddy Baldassarre.

The romanticized notion of tirelessly pursuing the girl of your dreams, as portrayed in Hollywood and popular culture, often falls short of reality. Instead, men would benefit from prioritizing maintaining attraction.
This is good advice for mid-tier men. Mid-tier men on looks/money/status could use their personalities to maintain higher level of attraction with the fewer women that they are able to get. Using personality attributes is free.
 

H8CourtshipWithAPassion

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You're too concerned with 'normally', while you yourself are not 'normal'. Like you said, you're more than a little autistic.

And you just want things to adapt to your autism. That's not going to happen, because you're a silent minority. No matter how much of a problem you have with approaching women, women won't start approaching you out of pity for your autism. Hard as it sounds, you just have to overcome your trepidation, grow some cojones, and talk with women without being so focused on yourself and sex.
yeah, because of that, i wonder if its recommend to approach and open women with an opener like this "hey i thought i'd walk up to you and open my mouth because thats what guys do"

I know this is the wrong attitude to have, i have had it in my mindset over the years on and off, but sometimes i have no sympathy for women as they age and their SMV declines, because of how women can get away with their passivity but men can't when it comes to dating, and even bigger reason, women normally never risk having their awkwardness or ineptness in social situations be perceived or dismissed as weird or creepy, uncomfortable, when interacting with the other sex, men don't.
 
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GoodMan32

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yeah, because of that, i wonder if its recommend to approach and open women with an opener like this "hey i thought i'd walk up to you and open my mouth because thats what guys do"

I know this is the wrong attitude to have, i have had it in my mindset over the years on and off, but sometimes i have no sympathy for women as they age and their SMV declines, because of how women can get away with their passivity but men can't when it comes to dating, and even bigger reason, women normally never risk having their awkwardness or ineptness in social situations be perceived or dismissed as weird or creepy, uncomfortable, when interacting with the other sex, men don't.
Well-said. Even if a woman's SMV declines as she ages, a woman 15 years older than me can still get plenty of attention (certainly more attention than I get). She just won't get as much attention as she did at 22. And as you indicated, they can be totally passive yet still get attention.

Also an excellent point that a woman won't get docked for being socially awkward or socially inept.

The fact I'm somehow viewed as dangerous just because I'm socially awkward is unreal. The typical woman could beat me in a fistfight.
 

Solomon

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Well-said. Even if a woman's SMV declines as she ages, a woman 15 years older than me can still get plenty of attention (certainly more attention than I get). She just won't get as much attention as she did at 22. And as you indicated, they can be totally passive yet still get attention.

Also an excellent point that a woman won't get docked for being socially awkward or socially inept.

The fact I'm somehow viewed as dangerous just because I'm socially awkward is unreal. The typical woman could beat me in a fistfight.
Boohoo women and men are different
Stop comparing yourself to women
They are not going to approach you unless you're famous or "clouted up" if not roll up up your selves and get the approaching!
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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