Should I text her first or wait it out?

[HaleyBaron]

Why do you need to make her think you got things to do, if you don't got things to do?

To pretend you are someone more important?

Women see through that **** quicker than anyone.

Better advice: Work to become someone that has **** to do, so that you don't have to pretend and be pathetic.

I give that phrase to most people on here because they are coming here learning how to be independent. A starter is making them walk the walk. Even if it's pretending, it's still training wheels. I also tell men to pick up actual purposes in life so that they can no longer pretend.

 

[L16]

Decided I am going to shoot her a text. If she's down she'll respond favorably and it's good. If she's not, she either rejects me or doesn't answer and it's whatever. We have friends in common and just because she doesn't respond now doesn't mean it's off the table to **** another time. I have nothing to lose.

She just got back into town on Monday.

I'm debating whether I shoot her a text her some time this week or wait to see if she hits me up this week and if not send her a text next week.

Waiting till next week maybe means less of a "desperate" vibe by not texting her this week and letting a little more time pass. On the flip side also further away from our fun at the wedding so likely lowered interest.

What do you all think

 

[Bingo-Player]

If she hasn't messaged after saying she would , you can assume the interest or attention has faded

Shoot your shot but you need to be VERY careful with how you go about it because she's already holding all the aces

I would probably try and aim for a tease or a witty quip to warm the interaction back up , probably easier to do this on social meida

But again I would proceed with extreme caution this broad seems flaky

 

[L16]

If she hasn't messaged after saying she would , you can assume the interest or attention has faded

Shoot your shot but you need to be VERY careful with how you go about it because she's already holding all the aces

I would probably try and aim for a tease or a witty quip to warm the interaction back up , probably easier to do this on social meida

But again I would proceed with extreme caution this broad seems flaky

Yea a lot of time has passed.

She did say she'd text me when she's back in town and she just got back some time Monday I think, so not that much time, but definitely could have sent a text while she was with family for the week.

Still feel like saying **** it and shooting a shot.

Got any inspiration you can share for a witty/teasing way to reinitiate that you would use?

Btw, she is flaky, I'm not looking to date this girl or anything like that. More a friends with benefits that aren't close friends, or **** buddy situation.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Send her a meme.

 

[HaleyBaron]

If she hasn't messaged after saying she would , you can assume the interest or attention has faded

Shoot your shot but you need to be VERY careful with how you go about it because she's already holding all the aces

I would probably try and aim for a tease or a witty quip to warm the interaction back up , probably easier to do this on social meida

But again I would proceed with extreme caution this broad seems flaky

I would not even do a tease.

Just a "sup." That is just me. Not worth my time, personally.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Few months ago I asked a girl for a drink. She said " maybe ". I told her straight up "Thanks, but I'm not doing " Maybe girl". I moved on , and now with a much better one.

^^In your case Diver, you did the right thing but generally speaking are you (and others) familiar with nuance?

There's a big difference between "Maybe, I'll be in touch next week" which you're right, would have indicated low interest ... and what she did text...

I'll be home in a week", "I'll text you when I'm back, maybe ".

Can you see the difference? Her text was playful and teasing as evidenced by the tone and smiley face. It would have been better if she posted a wink emoji but the smiley face was good enough.

Why take it so seriously? IME it wasn't meant to be serious it was playful banter which can be fun and a great segue into getting what you want with a girl you like (and hope to bang again).

OP how did you respond? Or did you ignore it?

A shame really cause if you had played this differently without all the overthinking and interpreting it as some sort of rejection and simply replied with something equally playful and teasing (displaying confidence) and had fun with it, you could be f***ing her right now.

Now, a week later I dunno, gotta strike while the iron is hot.

And going forward learn to recognize and appreciate nuance and not take everything so darn seriously or interpret everything as some sort of manipulation.

P.S. Agree with what @New_Journey posted, spot on.

 

[L16]

^^Lol, sorry don't mean to laugh Diver but are you (and others) familiar with nuance?

There's a big difference between "Maybe, I'll be in touch next week" which you're right, does indicate low interest ... and what she did text...



How do you not see the difference? Her text was playful and teasing as evidenced by the tone and smiley face. It would have been better if she posted a wink emoji but the smiley face was good enough.

Why take it so seriously? IME it wasn't meant to be serious it was playful banter which can be fun and a great segue into getting what you want with a girl you like (and hope to bang again).

OP how did you respond? Or did you ignore it?

A shame really cause if you had played this differently without all the overthinking and interpreting it as some sort of rejection and simply replied with something equally playful and teasing (displaying confidence) and had fun with it, you could be f***ing her right now.

Now, a week later I dunno, gotta strike while the iron is hot.

And going forward learn to recognize and appreciate nuance and not take everything so darn seriously or interpret everything as some sort of manipulation.

P.S. Agree with what @New_Journey posted, spot on.

I didn't take it as any sort of rejection, I actually read it as playful/flirtatious which was encouraging.

Unfortunately, at the time, my response sucked. Since she told me I couldn't come to her place because her mother was staying with her for their flight early in the morning, I offered to get her a car to mine.

Logistics on her side were 100% true. My response 100% sucked. I was drunk, it was 2am, we had just been making out, whatever.

This would be a **** buddy/friends with benefits type situation.

No she didn't text me while she was home with family. Not the best sign but not necessarily the worst thing here.

She said she'd text me when she's back, she just got back late Monday, so she's basically been back in town 2 days now.

I think I may text her Saturday afternoon if I don't hear from her after Friday night and just say something along the lines of rather than waiting till next time (she said "next time" in one of her responses) why don't we just grab drinks and hang out today/tonight?

Will add a little humor to it but **** it.

If she's interested, we'll make a plan or there will be conversation that leads to plans.

If she's not, she'll say no or blow me off and my response will be ok all good see you next time.

Under the right circumstances, I have no doubt, when we run into each other again, I'll have a very good chance to **** her.