If you're in a social circle, and the women there don't give you a hug when they leave, it's OVER

[Divorced w 3]

Eject for a year or more? You mean you would quit your job over that? You would leave a social group if a lady refused to hig you?

I don’t specifically know what your dynamics are, I would not ever give up employment over this, ever. If you can change jobs and advance your career definitely do it though.

What I did mean, however, is simply just get out of this clique immediately. This is not a good look for you whatsoever. For one, it’s an incredibly negative, compounding, feedback loop. It’s clearly getting into your heads in a major way. The idea that you’re online collecting feedback on this is sad and unfortunate. It need not be this way.

Secondly, this group that holds you in such low regard can only serve to spread out the word about your lowliness and amplify to others your low status. Whether that’s someone new integrating and seeing you treated this way, whether that’s someone talking about you behind your back as the joke of the group which is definitely happening, this is a really bad situation to be in.

Lastly, time is fleeting and there is opportunity to go recreate yourself and work out new relationships, practice skills and then level up on self confidence while being smooth enough not to burn bridges so that one day you can return. If done properly, while everyone now does probably think you’re okay enough to keep around and not a bad guy, they don’t respect you but if you come back in say 12-24 months with confidence, travel stories, job improvement, hobbies, maybe a girlfriend, you know, what constitutes a typically well rounded life / you will absolutely shock them.

A social group can be a massive amplifier for life, career and support. One way or the other.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I've mentioned on this forum that I was in a sausage-heavy clique my freshman year of college (6 sausages, 2 clams)

You may have more success pursuing schlong rather than beaver

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

They were good solid hugs, but it didn't seem playful. I got triggered because when it came time for my hug, all I got a hand-wave "bye".

No pokies for the immature...

 

[TheGambino]

Fvck a hugg man Id rather get a Bl0wjob

 

[Vanderdonck]

I'm in a social circle - international folks in an Eastern-European folks (yes, far too much sausage, but it is what it is ). So there was a semi-harridan chick (definitely bangable) that I had talked to earlier, and we talked, with a few others around. Then this little agglomeration of people just kind of moved on to other agglomerations. This chick was talking with some taller, Chaddish men, and when it came time that she was leaving, every one of those guys got a hug, while she seemed to avoid me, so as to not have to give me a hug.

There is something else going on with you. Women will hug men they find friendly and non threatening as well as those they find attractive.

 

[Clockwerk50]

They were good solid hugs, but it didn't seem playful. I got triggered because when it came time for my hug, all I got a hand-wave "bye".

If that triggers you, I can’t imagine how you would handle a relationship or manage stressful, time-sensitive situations as an adult.

 

[GoodMan32]

You may have more success pursuing schlong rather than beaver

Real mature, making a gay joke based on the gender makeup of my friend group 15 years ago (none of which I've seen or spoken to in over a decade)

On a serious note, yeah I'd have better luck pursuing men. Most men, even ones who have good luck with the ladies, would have better luck pursuing men. Simply because of what dogs men are. There's a reason a lot of gay guys have had a quadruple digit body count.

The fact I've had multiple gay guys flat out ask me for sex sometimes makes me wish I was gay (because of what easy sex I'd get). But just like gays can't help being gay, I can't help being straight.

 

[corrector]

If that triggers you, I can’t imagine how you would handle a relationship or manage stressful, time-sensitive situations as an adult.

What is triggering is that they were not FZ hugs, but full-body hugs. If they were FZ hugs, I don't think we would be having a thread or discussion about it.

 

[corrector]

There is something else going on with you. Women will hug men they find friendly and non threatening as well as those they find attractive.

She was giving "solid hugs" not FZ hugs to the other guys (ie based on what he was saying). That means there is an attractive/sexual component to the hugs. If it were straight FZ hugs, chances are, he would have been hugged too. You don't get triggered by FZ hugs as they are a joke.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Simply because of what dogs men are

Too much time on MGTOW forums has poisoned your mind with the delusion "I'm nothing like other guys". I remain astounded that you fellas persist in asserting that you're not eerily similar to

 

[Clockwerk50]

What is triggering is that they were not FZ hugs, but full-body hugs. If they were FZ hugs, I don't think we would be having a thread or discussion about it.

I understand your point, but as other commenters have mentioned, hugs are insignificant. Would you consider OP a high-value man if he gets triggered by such minor issues?

I’d also like to ask OP how much material he’s reading or practicing. On the SoSuave main page, the excerpts I quoted below, it suggests he might be putting these women on a pedestal. Depending on how hard he tried during the conversation, it could explain why he didn’t receive a hug. Again, all non-HVM behaviour.

“Women want a man they feel is just out of their league, who they aren't sure if they can get and lock down, and who they are constantly anxious over because of this feeling.

When you view a woman as above you, and something you need to work to win, it colors EVERYTHING you do and say.

It colors how often you contact her, how fast you reply, the things you say to her, how often you want to see her, the nice things you do for her, how you respond to various things she says.

Each and every action you put forth will confirm this to the woman, and each time this happens, it reduces your value in her eyes and convinces her that you are below her, not deserving of her, and that she could do much better than you.

She dries up and moves on to someone she thinks is higher value.”

Trying Too Hard With Women

The more effort you put into trying to "win" a woman, the LESS likely you are to get her. Your energy and effort will make you seem desperate and undeserving.

www.sosuave.com

 

[corrector]

I understand your point, but as other commenters have mentioned, hugs are insignificant.

I have reviewed the posts from the beginning of the thread to find your "other" commentors. I've only seen one poster that has that view (ie SW15). I don't know what AA is saying since we are ordered by the mods to keep each other on ignore or we would get banned, so I don't know or can't know.

Therefore, in my view, only one other poster has that opinion.

To the other posters on this thread where I have made a case, we have concluded that hugs are significant if they are full-body hugs and not FZ-hugs.

Would you consider OP a high-value man if he gets triggered by such minor issues?

As these were full-body hugs and not FZ hugs, then it is not a minor issue, as is now the concensus direction of this thread. In the specific social situation where he was the only guy left out, he was not treated like a high-value or even social equal by being rejected for a hug compared to the other guys who were there. Therefore, that group has become toxic to him and that is a major issue.

 

[MatureDJ]

Real mature, making a gay joke based on the gender makeup of my friend group 15 years ago (none of which I've seen or spoken to in over a decade)

On a serious note, yeah I'd have better luck pursuing men. Most men, even ones who have good luck with the ladies, would have better luck pursuing men. Simply because of what dogs men are. There's a reason a lot of gay guys have had a quadruple digit body count.

The fact I've had multiple gay guys flat out ask me for sex sometimes makes me wish I was gay (because of what easy sex I'd get). But just like gays can't help being gay, I can't help being straight.

It's OVER for HeteroSexualCels.

 

[MatureDJ]

I have reviewed the posts from the beginning of the thread to find your "other" commentors. I've only seen one poster that has that view (ie SW15). I don't know what AA is saying since we are ordered by the mods to keep each other on ignore or we would get banned, so I don't know or can't know.

Therefore, in my view, only one other poster has that opinion.

To the other posters on this thread where I have made a case, we have concluded that hugs are significant if they are full-body hugs and not FZ-hugs.



As these were full-body hugs and not FZ hugs, then it is not a minor issue, as is now the concensus direction of this thread. In the specific social situation where he was the only guy left out, he was not treated like a high-value or even social equal by being rejected for a hug compared to the other guys who were there. Therefore, that group has become toxic to him and that is a major issue.

I must be L7, as I don't know what an FZ hug is.

BTW, here's an article on hugs:

7 Common Types Of Hugs & The Meaning Behind Each | mindbodygreen

A hug can be a sign of romantic intimacy, security, emotional support, or love. We break down the main types of hugs to help you decipher which is which.

www.mindbodygreen.com

These guys were getting something between a Friend hug and a Hugging around the waist as defined by this article.

 

[MatureDJ]

There is something else going on with you. Women will hug men they find friendly and non threatening as well as those they find attractive.

And I think I'm not getting the hug because I'm short, which is really just a different form of ugly.

 

[MatureDJ]

Ehh, don't slap yourself over missing a possible IOI. A lot of men (myself included) don't want to make fools of ourselves by letting a woman know we think she's into us (but then have it turn out she's not into us)

On the topic of hugs, I have a female coworker who really had a rough year. So I gave her a birthday gift for her birthday back in August. After I gave her the gift, she then asked if she could hug me (I gave her permission). Her hug wasn't an angled friend zone hug...but wasn't quite a boob-jamming hug either (something in between).

In all honesty, I anticipated she'd hug me if I gave her a gift (which is one reason I gave her the gift)

This same female coworker has told me I have a nice smileb before.

This is a solid IOI. I've always considered boob-jamming to be one of the best of IOI (right up there with her calling you).

 

[corrector]

I must be L7, as I don't know what an FZ hug is.

BTW, here's an article on hugs:

7 Common Types Of Hugs & The Meaning Behind Each | mindbodygreen

A hug can be a sign of romantic intimacy, security, emotional support, or love. We break down the main types of hugs to help you decipher which is which.

www.mindbodygreen.com

These guys were getting something between a Friend hug and a Hugging around the waist as defined by this article.

ok, hugging around the waist is a romantic hug based on the article, so it's like a playful flirty ambigious type of hug that could mean something more. This is why you were trggered, it was pure friendship/FZ angled hug, it would not have bothered you.

 

[GoodMan32]

I must be L7, as I don't know what an FZ hug is.

BTW, here's an article on hugs:

7 Common Types Of Hugs & The Meaning Behind Each | mindbodygreen

A hug can be a sign of romantic intimacy, security, emotional support, or love. We break down the main types of hugs to help you decipher which is which.

www.mindbodygreen.com

These guys were getting something between a Friend hug and a Hugging around the waist as defined by this article.

At a store I worked at in the past, one of my shift supervisors transferred to a different branch. When making purchases in my off time, I sometimes popped into the branch she transferred to (as I was in that area a lot at the time)

When I'd pop into the store she got transferred to, she'd give me a hug that went way beyond FZ. She'd jump up on me like an excited dog, prolong the hug, and work her hand down to my lower back.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

And I think I'm not getting the hug because I'm short, which is really just a different form of ugly.

Midgets get hugged. I'm pretty sure this is not about your lack of height.

 

[corrector]

At a store I worked at in the past, one of my shift supervisors transferred to a different branch. When making purchases in my off time, I sometimes popped into the branch she transferred to (as I was in that area a lot at the time)

When I'd pop into the store she got transferred to, she'd give me a hug that went way beyond FZ. She'd jump up on me like an excited dog, prolong the hug, and work her hand down to my lower back.

You see, that is what I am talking about.