Why do some very attractive women go for average guys their entire life?

[itouchyou]

There's this pretty attractive blonde I know who I've only seen in relationships with average to below average looking men. It's a brain teaser to me. When she was in college she dated this pretty average looking asian dude (today he would get called incel based on his looks). In college this blonde was pretty much a 9/10. I get that these guys probably have good personalities. However this woman looks like she could secure a much better looking guy. I mean, a 19 year old blonde blue eyed fit girl at her prime, the best she could do is a below average asian guy? However, she did admit to hooking up with a muscular guy at some point (much later, in her 30s) when she was out of her relationship.

Then there's a friend of my sister, she's an attractive girl in her mid 20s. She's dating an absolutely ugly guy (my sister even said this). My sister doesn't get it. It's weird because my sister is not that attractive (maybe a 4-5/10) but she expects to date a very good looking guy, yet her friend is closer to an 8/10 and is ok with dating an ugly guy. This even happened to two of her other friends who are 8/10 - they're dating ugly guys.

The "redpill" is that women care about looks just as much as men. However in practice it doesn't seem like this is the case.

Is it because these women don't see themselves as beautiful as they really are to everyone else? Is it because they realize that good looking guys don't commit or cheat? Is it because looks don't really matter as much as the manosphere says, and unattractive men use that as cope to shift blame off themselves for not having game?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Different women value different things.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The "redpill" is that women care about looks just as much as men. However in practice it doesn't seem like this is the case.

Is it because these women don't see themselves as beautiful as they really are to everyone else? Is it because they realize that good looking guys don't commit or cheat? Is it because looks don't really matter as much as the manosphere says, and unattractive men use that as cope to shift blame off themselves for not having game?

Looks matter for women, just in a different way. Take Jeremy Allen White, for example. He's not conventionally handsome, nonetheless he started putting more effort into himself physically, stopped dressing like Lip Gallagher in real life, and he brings swagger and charisma to the table. He thus possesses a grit that "pretty" actors like Timothy Chalamet can't boast

 

[itouchyou]

Different women value different things.

This is true. However with societal influence the way it is, what is the truth behind why these attractive women are not trying to settle for the guys that their hypergamy dictates?

Looks matter for women, just in a different way. Take Jeremy Allen White, for example. He's not conventionally handsome, nonetheless he started putting more effort into himself physically, stopped dressing like Lip Gallagher in real life, and he brings swagger and charisma to the table. He thus possesses a grit that "pretty" actors like Timothy Chalamet can't boast

For the women I mentioned, their guys have zero looks. Literally bottom of the barrel. These guys are like 3/10.

 

[Chow Mein]

and the 2024 Hater of the Year award goes to…..

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You guys need to get past the idea that looks are all that make up a woman.

Yes, it's a large part, but only looks in a lady won't get you very far.

Similarly, looks aren't the only thing going for guys.

You're bound to find seeming mismatches, but under the surface, once you get to know each party, it all makes sense.

Water does find it's own level, but you need to see the whole picture, not just looks.

You should get in the game and experience more people and personalities and stop trying to theorize from the sidelines.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think some women just prioritize comfort and trust in a relationship. Some of these men, I am talking the fat neck beards that I generally see with pretty women, most likely come from a stable family, they are probably middle to upper class, and most importantly, have less options in the dating market. Some women just do not want men with the ability to exercise their options in a relationship.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This is true. However with societal influence the way it is, what is the truth behind why these attractive women are not trying to settle for the guys that their hypergamy dictates?

Has something to do with Hypergamy itself not being all it's cracked up to be

"For the women I mentioned, their guys have zero looks"

To you, a heterosexual man, that may be true. Women are different

 

[itouchyou]

and the 2024 Hater of the Year award goes to…..

In my defense.. when I am chubby, I wouldn't say I am ugly, but I'm basically "invisible" to women unless I make a move.

Recently a woman that I would deem out of my "league" showed strong interest, and it caught me off guard because I perceived that she could do much better. That's partly why I made this thread. That's something that I'm dealing with, that I'm not sure many guys do.

To me it becomes a question of "why me?" I have a hard time brushing it off and just running with it.

I think some women just prioritize comfort and trust in a relationship. Some of these men, I am talking the fat neck beards that I generally see with pretty women, most likely come from a stable family, they are probably middle to upper class, and most importantly, have less options in the dating market. Some women just do not want men with the ability to exercise their options in a relationship.

I could see that.. but I don't understand how these women can be sexually attracted to these men.

 

[Barrister]

This is easy to answer. Looks matter for a certainty, but they are far less important than social proof and influence (which can be further split into money and power). If you have those two things in abundance, your looks become far less important.

Now, there are still certain venues or situations where looks will be a major factor, more so than the above, on a limited basis. That being clubs, bars, and certain cold-approach scenarios. But social proof and influence will yield greater results in the long run (both in terms of # of women you can pull and hotter women).

 

[itouchyou]

This is easy to answer. Looks matter for a certainty, but they are far less important than social proof and influence (which can be further split into money and power). If you have those two things in abundance, your looks become far less important.

Now, there are still certain venues or situations where looks will be a major factor, more so than the above, on a limited basis. That being clubs, bars, and certain cold-approach scenarios. But social proof and influence will yield greater results in the long run (both in terms of # of women you can pull and hotter women).

For the girls I mentioned - these guys have none of that. These are 3-4/10 dudes with no social influence and/or social proof.

 

[Chow Mein]

For the girls I mentioned - these guys have none of that. These are 3-4/10 dudes with no social influence and/or social proof.

How big was their d!ck when you took their pants off?

 

[itouchyou]

How big was their d!ck when you took their pants off?

Maybe you can fantasize about their d!ck just like you fantasized about that scenario. I have no hatred towards ugly people, I'm genuinely curious about what I typed.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You should get in the game and experience more people and personalities and stop trying to theorize from the sidelines.

Yep. We modern men spend an inordinate amount of time ruminating over how f-cked up women are, rather than raising our own standards in very basic ways https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...-taught-you-so-far.282214/page-4#post-3122390 https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/gent-z.282185/ https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/looksmaxxing-goes-mainstream.282162/

All of which was self-explanatory to men who lived in the not too distant past

 

[Barrister]

For the girls I mentioned - these guys have none of that. These are 3-4/10 dudes with no social influence and/or social proof.

I would venture a guess that there is more than what meets the eye with these guys you are labeling as ugly, broke losers. No guy accidentally snags a hot chick. Nor are there any hot chicks out there who love men with nothing going on for themselves.

 

[itouchyou]

I would venture a guess that there is more than what meets the eye with these guys you are labeling as ugly, broke losers. No guy accidentally snags a hot chick. Nor are there any hot chicks out there who love men with nothing going on for themselves.

Hey, not saying they're broke, or that they're losers. These guys are educated and I'm sure are nice people.

It's just that modern day dating goes against these types of relationships completely, and it was something interesting that I wanted to understand.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is true. However with societal influence the way it is, what is the truth behind why these attractive women are not trying to settle for the guys that their hypergamy dictates?



For the women I mentioned, their guys have zero looks. Literally bottom of the barrel. These guys are like 3/10.

You misunderstand how it works is basically where the confusion lies for you.

Women can value attractive FEATURES in men and if they value them enough, it raises their overall attraction level to them.

For instance...some women like great eyes on men...or muscular guys...or great butts...or beards...or personality...or a million other quirky things that all are different for different women.

If she finds a guy that has what she values most, that basically will be used to look at thru a lense of attraction where she will begin to justify in her mind that she likes that you aren't as good looking as other guys she has dated or that you aren't "x,y or z".

Essentially women will make you more attractive than you are in their mind as long as you have at least one feature they are attracted to that stands out to them and they like the way you make them feel when they are around you.

Also you make the mistake of thinking what a woman wants for a long term relationship is the same as what she wants for a one night stand.

Why? Because you are thinking like a man with logic and not like a woman. Trying to apply male logic to things women do is an effort in futility.

 

[characternote]

not read the other replies, but i'd guess it's just that some girls have 'weird'/unsual taste in what 'handsome' is.

IN fact, I even said years ago that my goal was to basically find these girls! lol. As i'm not the best looking guy in the world, but i'm only really interested in very hot 18 year olds way out of my league and half my age! And with the grace of god, i've found my fair share! (through sheer numbers game back in my PUA days of approaching 40 times per night!)

I used to work at a place (UPS type place) where there were all females in the office, and they'd spend all day not working, but ogling over hot guys on insta and messaging them etc. Classic chads that looked lke they stepped out of loveisland

But the hottest girl out of all of them would always choose guys that the other girls would ridicule and tease her for. Like she'd find an insta of someone and say 'he's hot!' and the other girls were lIke: ''him?!!! Look how skinny he is!! He looks nerdy. Look at his long horse face! what's wrong with you? lol' etc etc kind of thing

 

[itouchyou]

But the hottest girl out of all of them would always choose guys that the other girls would ridicule and tease her for/ lIKe' ' him?!!! Look how skinny he is!! and he look nerdy and isn't tall. what's wrong with you? lolo' kind of thing

One thing I have noticed among people in general is that the people who are truly exceptional in looks, don't try to seek people on their level whether it be for friendships or companionship. They don't need the validation. Being above everyone else allows them to pick who they want regardless of what their partner looks like because their status is simply immune from criticism.

I guess it's the idea that their mere existence is validation enough that they feel that regardless of who they're with, their self image can't be bought down.

Unattractive men/women on the other hand feel compelled to find someone better than themselves because not doing so makes their self perceived inferiority evident.

So for example:
9/10 blonde picks a 4/10 short asian guy? People will judge, but ultimately her value in society is unaffected.
6/10 fat overweight blonde picks a 3/10 short asian guy? Her status will go down.

In one way it's almost as if these women that are exceptionally attractive moreso than their peers are able to pick people who they like without fear of judgement. Which lends me to wonder if many women wish they could do this because they really do care about character more than looks.

 

[characternote]

One thing I have noticed among people in general is that the people who are truly exceptional in looks, don't try to seek people on their level whether it be for friendships or companionship. They don't need the validation. Being above everyone else allows them to pick who they want regardless of what their partner looks like because their status is simply immune from criticism.

I guess it's the idea that their mere existence is validation enough that they feel that regardless of who they're with, their self image can't be bought down.

Unattractive men/women on the other hand feel compelled to find someone better than themselves because not doing so makes their self perceived inferiority evident.

So for example:
9/10 blonde picks a 4/10 short asian guy? People will judge, but ultimately her value in society is unaffected.
6/10 fat overweight blonde picks a 3/10 short asian guy? Her status will go down.

In one way it's almost as if these women that are exceptionally attractive moreso than their peers are able to pick people who they like without fear of judgement. Which lends me to wonder if many women wish they could do this because they really do care about character more than looks.

I do'nt necessarily believe that. We've all been rejected by our fair share of stunning young girls!

The fact that in my example it was the hottest girl (imo) who seemed to have the most unconventional taste was merely coincidence in my view. Worth noting that the other girls were mostly pretty hot too (I miss that job!!

Who knows though