Why do some very attractive women go for average guys their entire life?

[MatureDJ]

It could be that they are smart enough to know that they are hot now, but will decay later on, and want to make sure that their man will stick around. Perhaps they've seen pictures of their mother & grandmothers as a hot little thing in their youth, but at a later age would not be able to secure a decent man.

 

[plumber]

When we decide that a man is average, that usually means we think we are above them.

Is he demonstrating fear or lack of fear. Everyone is good or very good at something. Do you know what this average guy is good at?

 

[zekko]

I would venture a guess that there is more than what meets the eye with these guys you are labeling as ugly, broke losers. No guy accidentally snags a hot chick. Nor are there any hot chicks out there who love men with nothing going on for themselves.

Another thing is maybe the guys look better to the girl than they do to you, or even to the OP's sister. You could post the same picture of a girl here, and guys will rate her quite differently. And guys don't tend to find other guys appealing, or really understand what girls might see in some guys. And there's also the possibility that their personalities mesh well, maybe they just click.

 

[GoodMan32]

I think some women just prioritize comfort and trust in a relationship. Some of these men, I am talking the fat neck beards that I generally see with pretty women, most likely come from a stable family, they are probably middle to upper class, and most importantly, have less options in the dating market. Some women just do not want men with the ability to exercise their options in a relationship.

Hmm. Brilliant hypothesis I never even thought of.

I myself have dated/banged some fatties because I wanted to minimize the likelihood she'd find a better option than me.

It never occurred to me that a woman might do the same (pick a man who has fewer options, specifically so he's less likely to leave her)

 

[anonymous12345]

Another theory is what matches their/our self esteem.

For instance, a pretty girl might have poor self-esteem, due to being validated for her looks, while feeling crap inside. Hence she will match against low value, because that's what she feels is what she "deserves". Some ugly girl can have a more IDGAF attitude, she's doomed anyway, and go for high value. You can reason the same about men.

Phrased differently, a bad boy may have has trashy "externals", but might be "gold" on the inside, contributing strongly to attractiveness.

Now, one wants gold on inside and outside, of course. Don't know what stereotypes that is.

 

[itouchyou]

Another theory is what matches their/our self esteem.

For instance, a pretty girl might have poor self-esteem, due to being validated for her looks, while feeling crap inside. Hence she will match against low value, because that's what she feels is what she "deserves". Some ugly girl can have a more IDGAF attitude, she's doomed anyway, and go for high value. You can reason the same about men.

Phrased differently, a bad boy may have has trashy "externals", but might be "gold" on the inside, contributing strongly to attractiveness.

Now, one wants gold on inside and outside, of course. Don't know what stereotypes that is.

Good analysis.

One of my college friends was a "gigachad" basically. I remember one time we were chatting after we graduated and he mentioned how some girl came up to him at work and he was like "you're too hot for me". This guy's selection process was interesting; he'd go after the baddest and hottest women and **** them, but when it came to relationships, he would date down bigtime. The person he married is like a 5/10. Despite being a pretty attractive guy, he saw himself as average.

I do think that how people see themselves physically is a big part of who they settle for. Many women despite being incredibly attractive, don't see that in themselves. They only see their flaws. So they compare themselves to other women and go for guys that they deem are on their own level.

There's a lot of girls out there that simply never get hit on outside of dating apps. Despite being very attractive, guys don't have the courage to talk to them, and these women start to think maybe they're not attractive. I've seen that happen with my sister's friends. They simply have no other option except online dating and on those apps, they quickly find out that the only guys willing to be serious are guys that aren't that good looking.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Hypergamy

 

[Hamurabimbi]

There's this pretty attractive blonde I know who I've only seen in relationships with average to below average looking men. It's a brain teaser to me. When she was in college she dated this pretty average looking asian dude (today he would get called incel based on his looks). In college this blonde was pretty much a 9/10. I get that these guys probably have good personalities. However this woman looks like she could secure a much better looking guy. I mean, a 19 year old blonde blue eyed fit girl at her prime, the best she could do is a below average asian guy? However, she did admit to hooking up with a muscular guy at some point (much later, in her 30s) when she was out of her relationship.

Then there's a friend of my sister, she's an attractive girl in her mid 20s. She's dating an absolutely ugly guy (my sister even said this). My sister doesn't get it. It's weird because my sister is not that attractive (maybe a 4-5/10) but she expects to date a very good looking guy, yet her friend is closer to an 8/10 and is ok with dating an ugly guy. This even happened to two of her other friends who are 8/10 - they're dating ugly guys.

The "redpill" is that women care about looks just as much as men. However in practice it doesn't seem like this is the case.

Is it because these women don't see themselves as beautiful as they really are to everyone else? Is it because they realize that good looking guys don't commit or cheat? Is it because looks don't really matter as much as the manosphere says, and unattractive men use that as cope to shift blame off themselves for not having game?

Some ugly dudes are packin’.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The world is full of anomalies & exceptions.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Being now in my fifties I have a long range view about this. You see being hot in youth is easy. You don't have to watch so much how you eat, you don't think about how smoking ages you; how sun exposure at the beach or in the pool ages you, how stress ages you. You can neglect working out and getting enough sleep. In youth you can be ignorant about all that.

As you get older though, your lifestyle choices come home to roost. Look at photos of Bridget Bardot in 1965 versus 1985. Look at Twiggy. Scary.

Men often loose their hair & get a poochy belly.

It takes something different to keep up your looks as you age. It takes discipline. To exercise, to sleep enough, to avoid the sun, to not smoke, to not over drink, to eat properly. The earlier that discipline develops, the better the long term outcomes.

Many women, myself included, choose men among other things for longevity in relationship. What does that mean? It means is this guy someone who has the attributes that I could see as a long term rellationship partner.

Here is what that thought process looks like (this is mine - but this will vary based on individual women's preferences, which are complex and multifactorial)

1. Is he attractive and sexy where I have desire for him?
2. Is he very intelligent?
3. Does he keep himself in shape?
4. Does he have his life together/is he accomplished & self sufficient?
5. Is he very attracted toward me?
6. Is he funny?
7. Is he masculine? Does he want to lead the relationship?
8. Does he have close relationships with family & friends?
9. Is he aloof/independent/can he be an ******* if needed, but alsobe thoughtful & kind?
10. Does he have a edgyness in his demeanor & style?
11. Does he have a big heart?
12. Is he loyal/honest/trustworthy?

See how specific that is?

Many women want men who desire kids/families.

The more objectively attractive a woman is the more realistic she can find a man who ticks most or all of her boxes.

 

[MatureDJ]

There's a lot of girls out there that simply never get hit on outside of dating apps. Despite being very attractive, guys don't have the courage to talk to them, and these women start to think maybe they're not attractive. I've seen that happen with my sister's friends. They simply have no other option except online dating and on those apps, they quickly find out that the only guys willing to be serious are guys that aren't that good looking.

Yes, these women tire of "emotionally unavailable men".

 

[Solomon]

This is easy to answer. Looks matter for a certainty, but they are far less important than social proof and influence (which can be further split into money and power). If you have those two things in abundance, your looks become far less important.

Now, there are still certain venues or situations where looks will be a major factor, more so than the above, on a limited basis. That being clubs, bars, and certain cold-approach scenarios. But social proof and influence will yield greater results in the long run (both in terms of # of women you can pull and hotter women).

Yup This is something the average Blackpilled dork doesnt understand women aren't a monolith when it comes to looks just like men. Yes there are women that want a convetionally attractive guy but the female gaze is different and 2 social proof is huge, this is why you see a guy who is a 5 with a girl who is a 8. The guy isn't rich but because they are in the same social circle, she got to know him, he was able to eventually bag her.

Guys have to understand what you deem attractive as a man in regards to men isn't always the case for what women deem attractive as a man.

It's really that simple

 

[jhonny9546]

A friend of mine went on a 7-day bachelor party trip a month ago (because a relative of his was getting married and he was invited).

His wife told him she was calm because "she trusts him."
Those words and the way she said them made me think about many things.

In fact, she is definitely 3 points above him in terms of SMV, and from what I could gather, I would translate those words as "no one would want you in that phisical state."



Their marriage is ongoing, even though my instinct and that of my friends tells us that she is cheating on him (she has done so in the past).

 

[RangerMIke]

Different women value different things.

Simple answer and so true. The idea that any man can get any woman is PUA BS. She has to want what you have.

 

[Learning Curve]

There's this pretty attractive blonde I know who I've only seen in relationships with average to below average looking men. It's a brain teaser to me. When she was in college she dated this pretty average looking asian dude (today he would get called incel based on his looks). In college this blonde was pretty much a 9/10. I get that these guys probably have good personalities. However this woman looks like she could secure a much better looking guy. I mean, a 19 year old blonde blue eyed fit girl at her prime, the best she could do is a below average asian guy? However, she did admit to hooking up with a muscular guy at some point (much later, in her 30s) when she was out of her relationship.

Then there's a friend of my sister, she's an attractive girl in her mid 20s. She's dating an absolutely ugly guy (my sister even said this). My sister doesn't get it. It's weird because my sister is not that attractive (maybe a 4-5/10) but she expects to date a very good looking guy, yet her friend is closer to an 8/10 and is ok with dating an ugly guy. This even happened to two of her other friends who are 8/10 - they're dating ugly guys.

The "redpill" is that women care about looks just as much as men. However in practice it doesn't seem like this is the case.

Is it because these women don't see themselves as beautiful as they really are to everyone else? Is it because they realize that good looking guys don't commit or cheat? Is it because looks don't really matter as much as the manosphere says, and unattractive men use that as cope to shift blame off themselves for not having game?

This is what i always say that personality is far superior over looks.

Yes, looks matter, they open the door, but personality is what really builds the foundation.

 

[inquisitor]

This is true. However with societal influence the way it is, what is the truth behind why these attractive women are not trying to settle for the guys that their hypergamy dictates?

For the women I mentioned, their guys have zero looks. Literally bottom of the barrel. These guys are like 3/10.

Doesn't matter if they look ugly to you.
They look awesome to her, and that's what matters.
They are her type, and that's what matters.

 

[Gamisch]

Female beauty is quite easy to create. Even a man can look like a "pretty " woman ( trans people). We've all seen the extreme make overs where a 4 transforms into a an 8 with enough make up, wigs, clothes that put everything in the right shapes ect.

And especially women are aware of this. A woman who you think is a 7 knows she's a 4 on a bad day. And as Coach Greg Adams always says; YOU will mostly see her in her "hb4 state". But when she goes outside she'll look like a 7.

This is a "luxury " that a man does not have. Clothes can do a lot, but next is already (plastic) surgery for teeth, hair, hitting the gym religiously. If a man wants to go from a 4 to a 7 he needs money time and dedication. Hence why men have a longer shelflife. And that's how life has always been.

 

[GoodMan32]

I have a story that ultimately ties into the topic of an attractive woman going for a man below her (in terms of looks).

In middle school, I was into a popular hottie (and she was an early bloomer with a big chest). The girl thought she was too good for me.

She ended up drinking her liver out in high school, dropping out of high school, and then married a man who doesn't even look good.

Goes to show: Just because you're all that at 13 doesn't mean you'll be all that 5/10/20 years later.

This girl peaked at 13. At 33, she's an alcoholic high school dropout with an ugly husband. Even though she still has her good looks, I wouldn't say she's all that.

The most ironic part: She's booksmart. And her dad was a cop (I imagine he's retired by now). She's certainly not the type of girl you'd expect to turn out like this.

 

[itouchyou]

Female beauty is quite easy to create. Even a man can look like a "pretty " woman ( trans people). We've all seen the extreme make overs where a 4 transforms into a an 8 with enough make up, wigs, clothes that put everything in the right shapes ect.

And especially women are aware of this. A woman who you think is a 7 knows she's a 4 on a bad day. And as Coach Greg Adams always says; YOU will mostly see her in her "hb4 state". But when she goes outside she'll look like a 7.

This is a "luxury " that a man does not have. Clothes can do a lot, but next is already (plastic) surgery for teeth, hair, hitting the gym religiously. If a man wants to go from a 4 to a 7 he needs money time and dedication. Hence why men have a longer shelflife. And that's how life has always been.

How do you stop being intimidated by their beauty when you know this? That's one of my issues.

 

[Gamisch]

How do you stop being intimidated by their beauty when you know this? That's one of my issues.

Stop being hyper focused ON female beauty. But more importantly: learn what's underneath the beauty.

One of the reasons why women like badboys is because it's likely that they've dealt with women before and are not as easy to impress. If you get 9,s on a regular ( pipedream) you won't be intimated. But oke getting 9s regularly is not realistic so let's look at this from another pov.

I am inclined to say learn your bracket. Why lust over women that won't even notice you? Are you "intimated" by EVERY luxury car? Every mansion? Every dude walking in a expensive suite? All the time? No ofcourse not. Perhaps it triggers you sometimes but you won't break out in swear due to seeing such things.

If anything you should enjoy female beauty. It's "just" nature and simultaneously a reflection of what God made. But ..God also made tigers and bears and sharks. Fascinating creatures but they still need to be treated with caution...

Again enjoy it instead of being intimated. Let it inspire you to become a better man. Because IF you crack the code and manage to get passed the "threshold " of having plenty of experiences with hb7,5 and up you'll open the floodgates.