Cringe Lunch or personal Social Experiment?

[corrector]

Per your request, I checked out your thread. Here's what I have to add:

Pursuing a woman at work is risky.

Back in 2021, I flirted with a new girl at work (even though I generally make it a rule to refrain from flirting at work, I was mesmerized by her excellent backside).

Long story short, the new girl acted mildly receptive at first, yet we eventually had a falling out (and ended up hating each other). For the rest of the time she worked here, I was terrified she'd rat me out to HR. I was relieved when she left the company a few months later.

As for the woman from your OP, I'm still not clear if she's a coworker or if she works for a different company in your office building?

The subject lady is the same company, but say different division, within the same office building.

Could you explain what the nature of your falling out was and how you ended up hating her?

I do not hate the subject lady and she's not behaving in a way that she's going out of her way to avoid physical proximity with me. Its just that there is no social contact (ie Quiet Place vibe?) with her. There has been no eye-contact or even looking at her. However, that is starting to be relaxed and she is now being observed (ie at least what she is doing - on smartphone, or whatever else she's doing if she's on a table by herself) in terms of a quick look. (ie she was quickly observed inside the elevator as opposed to outrightly looked away from the whole time). The last intentional "near" interaction with her was I saw three seats away from her in a cafeteria and looked at a couple of selected music videos (ie I guess drawing from whatever energy/feelings to enhance the experience of the music videos that were watched). There has not been any arrangement where there is three seats apart since that time (ie normally two seats or some other configeration).

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Long story short, the new girl acted mildly receptive at first, yet we eventually had a falling out (and ended up hating each other). For the rest of the time she worked here, I was terrified she'd rat me out to HR. I was relieved when she left the company a few months later.

Really, you're going to give him advice now? Truly the ignorant leading the ignorant. Both of you should stop giving people advice and start following the advice of other members.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I do not hate the subject lady and she's not behaving in a way that she's going out of her way to avoid physical proximity with me

She doesn't notice or think much about you... Nothing's changed since you began thread back in May. Which, quite frankly, is very sad

 

[BaronOfHair]

Really, you're going to give him advice now? Truly the ignorant leading the ignorant. Both of you should stop giving people advice and start following the advice of other members.

This pretty much encapsulates what the entire f-cking Manosphere devolved into, after the first year of it's existence. Mostly guys who

-Have been married to the same broad for decades

-Prowled nightclubs and dive bars during their brief stints trying to be PUAs, ended up with nothing but garbage

Encouraging their fellow men to retreat from reality into overthought, while yearning for the return of a white washed view of The 1950s, where presumably they too could've had their own June Cleaver

Over for the Whataboutism 1950s Nostalgiacels

www.sosuave.net

Note the third post on that thread, and who wrote it

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Over for the Whataboutism 1950s Nostalgiacels

www.sosuave.net

Note the third post on that thread, and who wrote it

I think that's part of the incel disease, a nostalgic view on history when it was so much easier to find a woman.

 

[corrector]

She doesn't notice or think much about you... Nothing's changed since you began thread back in May. Which, quite frankly, is very sad

The thread began in March. I thought relations had got worsened with her since there is no longer any polite social interactions with her. It's like I avoided her once or refused eye-contact with her or whatever and she's not the same like before. She didn't even say thank-you when I held the door open for her. No...to say NOTHING has changed is wrong. The fact that any intearction with her continues to have this wierd vibe enough for a thread to get updated means something is off. You don't write about normal interactions.

Based on the way she is, and how I am, yes, I did feel I took a risk going into an elevator alone with her. If interactions were normal, then no feeling of risk.

I hope for the sake of my job that she continues not to notice me or think anything much of me. Just going to work to play my bills not for drama. We like to leave drama for the movies / TV-show.

It's crazy how people are ignoring the downside potential in terms of worksplace issues. These days, a no, rejection, or nothing is better than getting an HR complaint or losing your job. It means that there is not as bad as a risk/outcome as the MGTOWers are making it out to be. Given the current climate, that is a win in and of itself.

 

[GoodMan32]

The subject lady is the same company, but say different division, within the same office building.

Could you explain what the nature of your falling out was and how you ended up hating her?

I do not hate the subject lady and she's not behaving in a way that she's going out of her way to avoid physical proximity with me. Its just that there is no social contact (ie Quiet Place vibe?) with her. There has been no eye-contact or even looking at her. However, that is starting to be relaxed and she is now being observed (ie at least what she is doing - on smartphone, or whatever else she's doing if she's on a table by herself) in terms of a quick look. (ie she was quickly observed inside the elevator as opposed to outrightly looked away from the whole time). The last intentional "near" interaction with her was I saw three seats away from her in a cafeteria and looked at a couple of selected music videos (ie I guess drawing from whatever energy/feelings to enhance the experience of the music videos that were watched). There has not been any arrangement where there is three seats apart since that time (ie normally two seats or some other configeration).

This thread isn't the place to get into her exact comment. Let's just say I heard her make a comment about a hot button political topic (and the nature of her comment made me never want to speak to her again).

So I stopped speaking to her cold turkey. She didn't take it well.

My psychology 101 guess on her is: She never intended to give me any action, yet at least liked the attention from me. So she was upset when the attention went away.

Furthermore, she also ended up acting standoffish with this female coworker I have a close relationship with.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This pretty much encapsulates what the entire f-cking Manosphere devolved into, after the first year of it's existence. Mostly guys who

-Have been married to the same broad for decades

-Prowled nightclubs and dive bars during their brief stints trying to be PUAs, ended up with nothing but garbage

Encouraging their fellow men to retreat from reality into overthought, while yearning for the return of a white washed view of The 1950s, where presumably they too could've had their own June Cleaver

Over for the Whataboutism 1950s Nostalgiacels

www.sosuave.net

Note the third post on that thread, and who wrote it

More like encourage you to stop making excuses and erecting self-imposed barriers for yourself that don't actually exist in reality but do in your own mind.

In life, you can either get results or make excuses. Never both. You can never get results while making excuses. It doesn't work like that.

You seem to prefer making excuses. I prefer getting results. I'm not ever going to be on board with excuse making, so if that's what you want here...someone to sympathize with you and enable you to continue making excuses for yourself, it won't be from me.

There is an old saying "Advice is seldom welcome and those who need it the most like it the least." that applies here.

And yeah...I realize things may be more challenging for you. So fvcking what? Challenge yourself then. It's the only way to ever improve at anything you do.

I didn't get to where I am physically by continuing to lift the same weight as when I first started lifting. I got there by continually pushing and challenging myself to get better, lift more, do more reps, take shorter rest periods, etc.

And you best believe it was hard fvcking work. Physically exhausting work. Sore for an entire week to the point I could barely move and by the time I recovered by my final off day, it was time to do it all over again.

But that's what made it so rewarding...I put the work in, I put the time in, I dealt with the pain and soreness and then I reaped the results from it. And I don't regret a single second of it and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat if I had to.

 

[BaronOfHair]

In life, you can either get results or make excuses. Never both. You can never get results while making excuses. It doesn't work like that.

You seem to prefer making excuses...

We're in agreement. You've mistaken me for The OP

 

[BaronOfHair]

....a nostalgic view on history when it was so much easier to find a woman.

Many of the problems we mistake as modern

37:40-39:30

Were already rampant

, even back then

 

[BaronOfHair]

I did feel I took a risk going into an elevator alone with her

Given the facts then, consider yourself fortunate that she's apparently human

 

[gwoppin]

OP, was the subject of this video you, by chance?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

OP, was the subject of this video you, by chance?

I skipped through 90% of that vid, but from what I hear that person is similar, but probably more proactive.

 

[gwoppin]

I skipped through 90% of that vid, but from what I hear that person is similar, but probably more proactive.

Its been an entertaining thread, kinda thought he was parodying this video

 

[BaronOfHair]

I think that's part of the incel disease, a nostalgic view on history when it was so much easier to find a woman.

In fairness, there's half a grain of truth to Red Pillers's whitewashed view of The Good Ol' Days https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/why-i-hate-online-dating.282217/page-2#post-3119554

 

[BaronOfHair]

The fact that any intearction with her continues to have this wierd vibe enough for a thread to get updated means something is off

I'm not being in the least bit flippant with the following observation, C: The only things off here are your thought process and, quite possibly, your neurological functioning. Describing your interpretation of everyday events as "irrational" would be a monumental understatement

 

[gwoppin]

Describing your interpretation of everyday events as "irrational" would be a monumental understatement

I cant relate to the exact situation, but mentally i HAD been in a similar situation over the past year or so.

Id met a new group of friends and decided to practice my social game.

Problem was i didnt have enough experience to make accurate conclusions of what was actually happening, which made me see through a lense of my own bull**** assumptions.

I thought i was a smart-ass and had the entire group sussed out, turns out i was wrong on practically all of them!!

Lets say you see some type of behaviour and make an assumption about the person from it, dig further (directly or indirectly) until you can CONFIRM said assumption.

So, i understand where youre coming from when you have SOMETHING to say about every single time this woman does anything ever.

 

[corrector]

I was having a coaching session with my boss (who is a guy) yesterday. While we were talking to each other, I think this lady came in the room to get some water (I sensed her, but did not see her). However, she did not come back out and was talking to another guy there (not "envy-triggered"). Once the coaching session was over I left to go to the washroom. When I came out of the washroom, I saw her in an eye-shot of going back to her office area just before closing the door. We briefly had eye contact for like one second with each other as I went to my area and went into hers and closed the door.

Now, one might assume that she is now subconciously trying to avoid bumping into me after that elevatror encounter, but not in a way to make me feel bad to feel like she's really avoiding me. However, that brief eye contact was the first eye-contact with her in over a couple of months. That was a gratifying experience with me to have made eye-contact with her for that millisecond.

It's interesting this thread has become quite active coincidentally when she popped in my proxmity yesterday.

I have literally a draft work email that says "hi" to her that I made a few days ago. (ie we have not said hi to each other now in months). But I can't even really send that for now.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Lets say you see some type of behaviour and make an assumption about the person from it, dig further (directly or indirectly) until you can CONFIRM said assumption

Exactly. This(Becoming aware of one's automatic thoughts, treating them like hypotheses to be tested for falsifiability)also happens to be the manner in which sound psychotherapy works. Sadly, we live in a world where most practicing shrinks are poorly trained, and DO NOT teach their clients to do likewise

 

[BaronOfHair]

I sensed her, but did not see her...

You're not claiming that you can smell her, ala. Multiple Miggs here

2:36-2:39

That's cause for relief, if nothing else