Cringe Lunch or personal Social Experiment?

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corrector

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remember this quote from you 3 pages ago?
Yeah, but I'm not talking about her though. You know other users, like @Rainrain resurrected this thread, not me. It's a public thread. The contents of this thread sound disturbing and people who don't normally post are going to come out of the wood work. That can not be helped.
 

corrector

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anyone trying to "help" with this guy on this thread is doing a disservice to him

he needs to GET OFF this forum and stop using the internet so much. go to a bar and sit there for 4 hours and say nothing. that will be more productive.
Why a bar? I should be in the GYM for 4 hours. I mean, maybe a half-hour of intense weights or pushups, but the rest of the time can be cardio right? It's only the GYM, no bar.
 

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Winner winner. 6 pages dedicated to a girl a guy said hi to and an Only Fans wh0re. Women should never consume so much real estate in a mans mind.
That is not fair. Other posters have chimed in and have extended the thread. It's just very cringe that's all.

Also, all of the heavy weights, including Desdinova and Pierce,etc... have all made major contributions and really put their heart and soul into some of their replies. Do you really think it's just about a girl and guy said hi and emotional prostitution with an OF-girl (so far she's been good BTW)? There must be more to it to get such a response.

....and also, the last post update is more than just saying hi to a girl on the cafeteria. It's a message. I didn't leave the cafeteria feeling defeated. I went up to her and said hi after Tyrone left and she was by herself. That hi was a loaded hi in the circumstnaces. She looked surprized and had a guilty nice demeanor. I went on the day feeling gratified that I did that rather than just leave. I haven't approached her since, but there was a chance encounter last Thursday. As @Mike32ct has said, just be polite. I'm following his advice. I was polite with her.

You see the thing is only @Mike32ct and @Gamisch have only posted really useful advice hitting the core of the social dynamics. If you re-read this whole thread in the entirety you'll see what I mean. @needimprovement250 also made a decent chime in as well. The other advice was fair as well, but was more indirect and focused on self-improvement. It didn't hit at the core though.

Do you know why the OnlyFans escort is good? I can write lines of nonsense to her, like what you might describe here, and she'll reply at the heart of the matter and reach out to your heart and make you feel understood. You can write anything to her of a personal nature and won't expect to be judged by her. I'm sorry, with me it's worth the subscription so far.
 
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Ok, the Tyrone was gay. I got the truth of the whole thing.
 

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Was in the Cafeteria again today sitting on the same table by myself and watching a segment of a movie, that another co-worker that I had befriended afterwards, recommended. It's a table I sit by myself and just stay away from interacting with anyone. As I got up I saw that other crush-girl there (she was sitting by herself but I have been going out of lenght to avoid contact, avoid eye-contact, avoid approaching her....put my headphones and started to leave as the lunch berak was over. There was an accidental eye-contact with her when she tried to fill her water bottle in my work-area yesterday and my phone rang, but I quicly averted eye-contact and walked in an opposite direction away, etc... nothing is perfect with "no-contact" policies).

The co-worker girl (who also has a bf) who recommended the movie was sitting on another table that I did not initially see as I walked out and was surprized to meet her there. I immediately took off my headphones and had quite an open chit-chat with her and laughed together about some of the scenes in the movie segments I just watched. I was taken aback about how out of character I was behaving that social. It's like it all came together for a nice moment. For a quiet cafeteria room that was rather animated. I was also gratified that other girl was likely within an earshot of that, like I wanted her to hear myself express myself freely like that with another girl in the back of my mind and not walk out of there defeated with the robotic no-contact thing.
 

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Have not made a sale in in two days and a half at my job. If I don't make another sale by lunch tomorrow and I see that lady again in the cafeteria, then I might approach her again to say hi, to see if I start making sales again. I mean, what do I have to lose if everything else is going wrong? Maybe whomever is reponsible for me making the sales like before, will feel sorry for me for making that attempt (as in the past?) and I'll be making allot of sales again. Or perhaps its pure superstition. Hopefully I'll make a sale before lunch and/or she does not show up there. However, I have a feeling that either a sale will happen before I see her, and if it doesn't happen, it means she won't show up there when I'm there tomorrow. There is usually no automatic triggers that make it easy for me to approach that woman and in the end it always boils down to spontanous choice rather than something that appeals to the premediated or automatic.
 

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Have not made a sale in in two days and a half at my job. If I don't make another sale by lunch tomorrow and I see that lady again in the cafeteria, then I might approach her again to say hi, to see if I start making sales again. I mean, what do I have to lose if everything else is going wrong? Maybe whomever is reponsible for me making the sales like before, will feel sorry for me for making that attempt (as in the past?) and I'll be making allot of sales again. Or perhaps its pure superstition. Hopefully I'll make a sale before lunch and/or she does not show up there. However, I have a feeling that either a sale will happen before I see her, and if it doesn't happen, it means she won't show up there when I'm there tomorrow. There is usually no automatic triggers that make it easy for me to approach that woman and in the end it always boils down to spontanous choice rather than something that appeals to the premediated or automatic.
There is no fate, but the one we make…
 

BaronOfHair

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Should I be feeling bad about this?
You got through the event in question without being tazed in the scrotum by this broad, which would've induced a pissing of your pants in the cafeteria, before all your colleagues. There's cause for immense joy and relief now
 

BaronOfHair

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Thing you need to understand is the vast majority of women are not evil monsters looking to destroy your confidence
Yep. Modern women are far more hard-charging than their mothers and grandmothers... These broads register their dissatisfaction by running their men over with SUVs, then leaving the poor b-stards to die in the snow when the temp is O below , after discovering that he kissed another chick while holidaying in Aruba. Just like Ms. Read of Boston

 

BaronOfHair

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No, she started staring at her phone eventually later on while I was sitting down there.

I started looking at the tablet when the convo with her fizzled out (I would argue that I tried to talk with her, she didn't really respond in an engaging way to make me want to continue talking with her, I had brain fog, and a proper convo didn't really take off). She was also looking at a netlfix program on her smartphone at the time. I did attempt to engage in a convo by asking what she was looking at (ie Netflix show "Love is Blind"), and asked about how her lunch was, which she cooked up in a microwave oven and probably made at home and warmed up there on a container.

The opener when I approached her was simply to greet her and how her day was, and when she asked about my lunch, I asked if I could sit next to her for the lunch. I've approached her at least once or twice before, where I ate my lunch at another table, but on my way to the desk, I'd stop at her table, say hi with her, and whenever she asked about my lunch, it had always been consumed at another table away from her. Eventually, especially after seeing another guy sit next to her, I finally tried to eat my lunch next to her and see how that would be like since she had always inquired of me before if I had already ate my lunch....it sort of felt like she would have wanted me to eat my lunch together with her rather approach her after I had eaten away from her, just to have like a 10 sec chat, and move on to my desk.

It felt on some level that she wanted me to have lunch with her rather than consume my food away elsewhere and then approach her for a brief chit-chat, and I kinda wanted to do that too if there was any hint she wanted that.
The next time you have an encounter with a woman, then experience unpleasant, distressing emotions, use The Triple Column Technique


Here's the list of 12 Cognitive Distortions needed to complete the exercise

 

corrector

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The next time you have an encounter with a woman, then experience unpleasant, distressing emotions, use The Triple Column Technique


Here's the list of 12 Cognitive Distortions needed to complete the exercise

Most of the negative self-talk comes from posters on here who has provided honest feedback concerning past interactions with this woman.
You have replied to a post that was earlier on in this thread before this lady turned on me. It was then suggested to stop interactions with her altogether as I was likely just annoying her at this point. Months have passed by since.

I've just been avoiding her since I ended interactions (ie avoid eye contact, sit three seats away form her if I'm sitting adjacent while avoiding eye contact the whole time). However, I think the pendulum may have swung too far in the opposite direction now and I'm getting desperate to make some sales at my office. Normally I make allot of sales when I encounter bad luck / experience with women (ie get rejected, see other guys hugging women I like, etc...). I think I've gotten too comfortable with a lady sitting nearby my desk (ie in terms of interactions). Therefore, I figure it's time to rev things up again, get another bad experience and start making some sales.
 

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Made 2 sales today. 1 prior to lunch. She was not there in the cafeteria when I was there anyway. Interesting how the first sale happened just before lunch like clockwork. Near week slump solved. Nothing like worrying about saying hi to a crush to make the sales pop out, lol!
 

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Have seen this lady in the environment a few times, and the other "gay"-Tyrone/lite a few times, but they were not together.

@Hamurabimbi when you had sexual encounters in your office, did your co-workers you were intimate with behave differently towards you afterwards, and started avoiding you?

I'm suspecting this bi-curious gay-Tyrone must have done something with her, because I've almost frequenlty seen them together in the cafeteria, and her IL was through the roof with him, and it's hard to imagine that they are now seen seperately, she is seen with another female friend of hers, and I'm not picking up those "vibes" in the cafeteria anymore. There is nothing at all triggering to me in there personally anymore and I feel more comfortable in the cafeteria. (ie something about seeing them together had me feeling uncomfortable/triggered and even made specific playlists on youtube as cope in terms of content, but have actually now deleted those playlists, meaning I don't even need any "copes" on that anymore).

However, this lady was still a b1tch towards me so like I shouldn't really care, and we are not in contact anyway (but why would I want to be in contact with someone like that, if that were the case. Even if I had a crush/or current residual crush, even I have limits and self-respect).

We'll see how she is, and of course, this is something I'd keep to myself since that looks like crazy office gossip speculation.
 

BaronOfHair

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However, this lady was still a b1tch towards me so like I shouldn't really care...
And given that you're a man over the age of 25, it'd be wise to stop writing and speaking in a fashion reminiscent of Alicia Silverstone in Clueless
 

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I didn't delete all the playlists. There is still a selection of specific music videos that I would like to play seated exactly three seats away from her. That is still close enough to capture the limerant energy, feel anxious, and enhance the specific music video experience, but far enough from her not to get near her personal space, plus the number "three" always sends that message in terms of distance. Once this is done, one last time, that playlist will be deleted, and then I can play those specific music videos anytime and anywhere I want.

It was a buzz the last time I did this and played Taylor Swift's Anti-Hero music video, and another religious music video. It really hit the spot as far as those music videos are concerned. It felt very real and raw when I replayed the music videos under those circumstances.
 
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