Getting girls when on the spectrum

DarkForU

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Do u think someone who is on the spectrum can get girls ?
I am personally diagnosed with Asperger's and am 20 years old and i do put some effort, I'm working out and i work at programming but i don't find myself finding girls or getting attraction from girls really, I have read some books as well.
I do quite a bit of times struggle with social interaction as i don't know how to continue it and i keep "hitting a wall" and i do struggle.
 

kavi

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It depends on how good looking and masculine you are. That is your 'potential' and then after that social skills and Game will develop over time as you get older. Most 20 year olds actually wouldnt get girls if there was no social expectations of couples being similar in age. Very few 20 yr olds can outcompete 30+ men for women in reality. So you may be seeing other 20yr old guys getting girls but that is not reality it is just due to an inbalance in society where 30+ men and younger women are discouraged from forming relationships so younger boys are getting more attention from which most of them wouldnt otherwise get.
 

Murk

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I know for a fact they can because a girl I used to smash but remained friends with, just recently broke up with her abusive Aspergers bf. He is the druggy/artist type, she's damaged, a match made in hell.

I don't know if you can secure a level-headed high quality woman, but I've seen proof an autistic man can land a decently attractive woman, but ultimately repel her. That's just my anecdotal evidence on this subject.
 

eli77

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Can someone define asperger's or post a video about it?
 

sangheilios

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I can personally cite someone who is full blown autistic and had a low IQ that somehow was able to meet a woman off of an online dating site, get her pregnant and have a child lol. If a subhuman individual like that can do it anyone can haha.

With that out of the way,

This whole "on the spectrum" thing really doesn't mean much in my honest opinion. Autism and Asperger's are very real things for sure, there is no debate on that. However, I personally believe that over the last decade or so many children and teens, primarily boys, growing up that may have been socially awkward or mis calibrated were automatically lumped into this category. I believe the issue is that by putting a label on these individuals you place them in a bubble where they are expected to behave within this realm of existence. I also get the feeling that it creates a scenario where instead of encouraging these individuals to develop their social skills they just use this label as an excuse instead of working on self improvement. I personally believe that the whole autistic thing is far too readily thrown around in today's world.

With this also out of the way.

There are tons of young men today that honestly have sub par social skills, particularly when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex, which is naturally much more difficult. The reasons for this are simple, this generation spent a substantial amount of time on the internet, social media, playing video games, etc. but at the expense of real world social interactions. With those that are legitimately Asperger's, such as yourself, a lot of this would come down to your degree of functioning. There are quite severe cases but more often than not these individuals are honestly quite high functioning and otherwise normal. They may come across as a little quirky, odd or even awkward but they get by. Some really good examples that immediately come to mind are engineers and hard science types, like those into physics, etc. I guarantee that if you went to a university and surveyed the upperclassmen in these majors you'd find that they'd overall score much more on the "spectrum" than the average person.

The fact that you are even posting this shows that you are aware of your behavior to some degree, which to me shows you are most likely high functioning. DO NOT use Asperger's as an excuse, you have the ability to work on social skills and become much more comfortable during interactions with others. There are many ways to do this, one could be getting a part time job in a setting that literally forces you to interact with a lot of people, working at a restaurant is a fantastic example. This is a good stepping stone to begin with, next would be putting yourself in an environment where you interact with women in a non courting manner, again you could do this working at a restaurant, bar, etc.
 
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You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

CaptFinnBad

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Do u think someone who is on the spectrum can get girls ?
I am personally diagnosed with Asperger's and am 20 years old and i do put some effort, I'm working out and i work at programming but i don't find myself finding girls or getting attraction from girls really, I have read some books as well.
I do quite a bit of times struggle with social interaction as i don't know how to continue it and i keep "hitting a wall" and i do struggle.

Do you mask? I know some people with autism do this.

I'm on the fence about if I have it, regardless I have a natural ability to mask.

I will become whoever I'm conversing with are looking for. Business, dating, any encounter really, I'll mask like a mother ****er to get what I want.

It's not even a conscious thing. Hard to explain, I kinda lock in on the person I'm conversing with then I'll become the person I need to be to get exactly what I want from the encounter.

Served me ridiculously well in life.


Large groups. I'm ****ed and go quite though. As I'm unable to do this.
 
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GoodMan32

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I'm on the spectrum.

I first became sexually active in my early 20s. I'm currently in my 30s. I've been with 26 women.

Of the 26 partners, 17 have been escorts.

Of the 9 free women I've been with, I met 7 online.

This means if it weren't for hookup websites and escorts, I only would have had 2 partners (both of which were one and dones).

Let that sink in. I, a man in my 30s, only would have had sex a grand total of 2 times if it weren't for escorts and hookup websites.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, unfortunately the odds are really stacked against you when you're on the spectrum. And I'm a good-looking guy with a high-functioning case. Guys with worse looks and/or a more severe case of autism spectrum disorder have it even worse than me when it comes to getting cooch.
 

BergischerLöwe

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I first became sexually active in my early 20s. I'm currently in my 30s. I've been with 26 women.

Of the 26 partners, 17 have been escorts.

Of the 9 free women I've been with, I met 7 online.

This means if it weren't for hookup websites and escorts, I only would have had 2 partners (both of which were one and dones).

Let that sink in. I, a man in my 30s, only would have had sex a grand total of 2 times if it weren't for escorts and hookup websites.
I don't have autism but I have ADHD, and I feel this so hard. To this very day I've never been with a girl I first met irl. All my previous encounters have come from apps and if it wasn't for apps I'd still be a virgin. Like yours most of those were one and dones. But now apps give me diminishing returns :(
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Do u think someone who is on the spectrum can get girls ?
Yes, you can.
You do have some disadvantages, but if you can identify them, you can strengthen them. It will take more work, but if you want something badly enough, you will put forth the effort.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

GoodMan32

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I don't have autism but I have ADHD, and I feel this so hard. To this very day I've never been with a girl I first met irl. All my previous encounters have come from apps and if it wasn't for apps I'd still be a virgin. Like yours most of those were one and dones. But now apps give me diminishing returns :(
I don't know if it's an age thing or what. The last time I got with a woman from a hookup website, I was 23. I've mainly been with escorts since then. I have at least made some attempts on hookup websites since then (I got nowhere).

I see you're 27. I'm in my 30s. As much as I hate to say it, our looks are no longer at their peak (Granted, I'm still a good-looking guy, but I certainly show signs of aging compared to 10 years ago). Which probably explains our diminishing returns.
 

BergischerLöwe

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I don't know if it's an age thing or what. The last time I got with a woman from a hookup website, I was 23. I've mainly been with escorts since then. I have at least made some attempts on hookup websites since then (I got nowhere).

I see you're 27. I'm in my 30s. As much as I hate to say it, our looks are no longer at their peak (Granted, I'm still a good-looking guy, but I certainly show signs of aging compared to 10 years ago). Which probably explains our diminishing returns.
Personally I'd say I look better than I ever have in the past. I think the diminishing returns have to do with the business practices of these apps becoming progressively worse
 

RazorRambo24

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Yeah I mean theres autistic guys and guys with Asperger's who have girlfriends that I know of, not personally but otherwise. There's also guys who are midgets who have girlfriends, guys who are missing limbs, guys who are in wheelchairs, guys who are blind or deaf...

Idk why people think getting women is this mystical thing.. The thing is that these dating forums and social dynamic forums just fill with dudes who built years of frustration to the point they created a huge wall between them and women mentally and emotionally.
 

I_have_BDE

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What about the opposite? When I was in high school there was this HB9 super hot chick. Yet she seemed on the spectrum. I mean didn't talk to very many people. Not odd acting but just very quiet. Like had no friends like HB9 normally had. Just kept to herself a lot and only talked to a few people and didn't have a boyfriend, at least at that school. I never approached her cause I wasn't chad.

You know what I'm saying? Looked nothing out of the ordinary the way she dressed or anything or talked. Just something seemed a tad off with no friends or anything. For some reason didn't talk to hardly anyone. Wasn't nerdy or anything. Maybe I should have pounced on it lol.
 

BeExcellent

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ASD is under diagnosed. It still carries a stigma. At its core it is a social and often executive functioning difference that comes off as a deficit compared to neurotypical individuals.

The thing it is most often misdiagnosed as is in fact ADHD. One of my closest girlfriends is a therapist working with spectrum folks and she sees this often.

I think the below website is very informative:

 

sangheilios

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What about the opposite? When I was in high school there was this HB9 super hot chick. Yet she seemed on the spectrum. I mean didn't talk to very many people. Not odd acting but just very quiet. Like had no friends like HB9 normally had. Just kept to herself a lot and only talked to a few people and didn't have a boyfriend, at least at that school. I never approached her cause I wasn't chad.

You know what I'm saying? Looked nothing out of the ordinary the way she dressed or anything or talked. Just something seemed a tad off with no friends or anything. For some reason didn't talk to hardly anyone. Wasn't nerdy or anything. Maybe I should have pounced on it lol.
It's far more common of a trait in men than it is with women. Shyness and things like social anxiety, avoidant behaviors, etc. are not necessarily something you find in just "spectrum' individuals.
 

BergischerLöwe

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What about the opposite? When I was in high school there was this HB9 super hot chick. Yet she seemed on the spectrum. I mean didn't talk to very many people. Not odd acting but just very quiet. Like had no friends like HB9 normally had. Just kept to herself a lot and only talked to a few people and didn't have a boyfriend, at least at that school. I never approached her cause I wasn't chad.

You know what I'm saying? Looked nothing out of the ordinary the way she dressed or anything or talked. Just something seemed a tad off with no friends or anything. For some reason didn't talk to hardly anyone. Wasn't nerdy or anything. Maybe I should have pounced on it lol.
From what I've heard about the experiences of women on the spectrum is that it's easier for them to get into relationships or be sexually active compared to men with the same condition, but the flip side is that they're far more likely to be manipulated or abused in relationships
 

sangheilios

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From what I've heard about the experiences of women on the spectrum is that it's easier for them to get into relationships or be sexually active compared to men with the same condition, but the flip side is that they're far more likely to be manipulated or abused in relationships
That's not something that should surprise you at all. A woman could be borderline mentally retarded, have severe cross eyes, be incredibly overweight, be in a wheelchair or possess just about any issues you could possibly imagine and she'd still have plenty of potential suitors that would be interested. However, for men to have these issues it honestly could be impossible for them to even get a date, let alone an actual gf/relationship.
 

BergischerLöwe

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That's not something that should surprise you at all. A woman could be borderline mentally retarded, have severe cross eyes, be incredibly overweight, be in a wheelchair or possess just about any issues you could possibly imagine and she'd still have plenty of potential suitors that would be interested. However, for men to have these issues it honestly could be impossible for them to even get a date, let alone an actual gf/relationship.
Yeah it really doesn't surprise me
 

GoodMan32

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That's not something that should surprise you at all. A woman could be borderline mentally retarded, have severe cross eyes, be incredibly overweight, be in a wheelchair or possess just about any issues you could possibly imagine and she'd still have plenty of potential suitors that would be interested. However, for men to have these issues it honestly could be impossible for them to even get a date, let alone an actual gf/relationship.
Which is why I hate it when ultra feminists accuse such guys of feeling entitled when the guy vents.

No, the guy isn't saying anyone is obligated to give him a chance. All he's saying is he wants equal opportunity. I guarantee each and every ultra feminist who calls such guys entitled couldn't make it one day in his position without committing suicide.
 
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