No sex yet after 5 dates

[BPH]

This follows a post I made a few weeks ago:

Advice after second date

First time poster. Recently discovered the Rational Male and Rollo's content has really resonated with me. After living the oneitis life I've recently begun plate spinning and changing my mindset is working wonders for me. Anyway the reason for this post is to get opinions/confirm my...

www.sosuave.net

So I've been continuing to see her and we've been making out but when I try escalate further she gets awkward and doesn't seem to want to take it further.

I think she's the slow burner type but I know she is interested. On the fourth date she asked if we were exclusive which is very early in my opinion to be mentioning that especially before sex. I deflected. She is also catholic and goes to church so maybe that's a factor, I'm not religious myself but I know being catholic can mean different things depending on the person.

I feel that sex should've happened by now and don't know how much longer it will take and if I want to wait for that long.

Any advice on what to do? It seems she is in it for the long haul which I am open to but would like more benefits along the way.

I haven't read any replies after this, but I'll add my 2 cents.

Stop seeing this girl. Go bang somebody else.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Stop seeing this girl. Go bang somebody else.

He can do both. It’s how I ended up with a good girl. Let it progress slowly, while still banging plates.

 

[BPH]

He can do both. It’s how I ended up with a good girl. Let it progress slowly, while still banging plates.

I didn't read the other replies, is he looking for a relationship? Because otherwise I wouldn't bother with this.

 

[jaymbrs]

She doesn’t know what she’s doing. You’re essentially dating a child. You’re gonna have to hold her hand throughout this entire process.

 

[threeforfree]

Yeah but it looks like a girl who's withholding s3x after 5 dates, have had ltr before so no virgin and gets weird when the guy tries to escate, is wifey material... This forum is a jungle.

It's not a black or white 'V-seal is broken' type of thing. At her age, it's a huge difference if she's been in 1 or 2 LTRs and has a body count that is consistent with that, or if she has hopped in and out of beds between LTRs and has a body count in the double digits.

It all comes down to trying to figure out which one she is. You can assume all you want, but that doesn't mean you're right... either way you guess.

 

[bat soup]

She probably read The Rules but isn't very good at maths.

 

[Bigrig]

Cheers for the replies everyone, interesting to see some mixed responses. Admittedly I'm not 100% sure what I want either. I am potentially interested in her for ltr but definitely will take a while to be convinced, not in any rush to be in ltr but open to it if things go really well with someone. I'll keep her on the backburner for now and focus on others and just see how it plays out. @BadBoy89 genius line btw that I will use a version of if the same scenario happens again

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The girl is 26 and not a virgin.

Once she is not a virgin, she loses all leverage. Even if she wants a LTR, which is fine, she has give it up to keep him. 4th date she asks if they were exclusive and no sex? Come on.

I took this 37 year divorced women out for several times. After maybe the 4th date she asked “where are we?” I said ”what? You want a ring?” She said “I don’t know, I don’t know.” I said “honey, we havent DONE anything yet.” She dropped it.

Cant be a feminist Monday Wednesday Friday and a traditional girl Tuesday Thursday,

Did you end up doing something with her?

And what type of whack job wants a ring after 4 dates?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Cheers for the replies everyone, interesting to see some mixed responses. Admittedly I'm not 100% sure what I want either. I am potentially interested in her for ltr but definitely will take a while to be convinced, not in any rush to be in ltr but open to it if things go really well with someone. I'll keep her on the backburner for now and focus on others and just see how it plays out. @BadBoy89 genius line btw that I will use a version of if the same scenario happens again

Her asking about exclusivity was a simp check, IMO. Only a simp would agree to that before sex has happened.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Alternative view:

She is a “good girl”. Asking for commitment before the deed is something that only someone who is inexperienced would do. She doesn’t want to get pumped and dumped. Remember, like you many have come before and she may have had some experience with guys saying “absolutely, I’m interested in an LTR” then tap a few times and ghost.

IMO you need to decide if you want this to go the distance - do you want a monogamous LTR? If not bro catch and release, it’s not worth the trouble. She could also be a diamond in the rough, IF you want to LTR her. If you’re not sure just move along.

Sounds like you really like her, and you guys get along well. Next time you see her say before you meet that there’s something you’d like to discuss. This will get her very curious and the hamster will go rabid building multiple possible scenarios, this is good. The when you meet after a drink or whatever to relax a bit maybe some kissing and such, say: “<name>, I really like you a lot and I’d like to go back to my apartment and have you spend the night, but every time we kiss and snog you reject my advances, why is this?”

Run it up the flagpole, see if she salutes it. You’ve got nothing to lose.

 

[SargeMaximus]

She’s stringing you along. Dump

 

[BadBoy89]

D@mn, bro. That was a great answer. Did she eventually opened her legs?

Did you end up doing something with her?

And what type of whack job wants a ring after 4 dates?

She has been in my home alot of times. Everytime I tried to make a move she resisted. One time I got frustrated and pushed as hard as I could. We are talking aggressive aggressive moves. She still resisted.

So no I didnt end up doing anything with her. She sees me as a friend.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I told the OP in the other thread that this girl was bad news after the 2nd date, and now it's 3 dates later and still no sex. And for some odd reason I got hammered by people for calling this girl a tease.

Looks like I was right. Peeps, careful who you argue with.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

@Bigrig is this girl of Italian descent by any chance?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Lol at @threeforfree for assuming this girl isn't being deliberately vague or masking her intentions. Even if she's genuinely conflicted or unsure, she's a B for stringing him along thus far.

 

[devilkingx2]

Cheers for the replies everyone, interesting to see some mixed responses. Admittedly I'm not 100% sure what I want either. I am potentially interested in her for ltr but definitely will take a while to be convinced, not in any rush to be in ltr but open to it if things go really well with someone. I'll keep her on the backburner for now and focus on others and just see how it plays out. @BadBoy89 genius line btw that I will use a version of if the same scenario happens again

There's two ways of looking at it.



1. She's going to be good for the long haul, whether just a steady plate or a serious relationship because she doesn't just impulsively bang every half decent dude.

2. She's not very into you, perhaps she already has a boyfriend and that's why she's so reluctant to have sex with you. Or perhaps she likes free dinners and talking about herself more than she likes you.

You need to use context clues to figure out if she's #1 or #2.

 

[Gamisch]

I wonder how the actual sexual build up between you guys is. Do you only kiss her? No touching up , grabbing her whatever body part ect?? Because even if she withholds sex for 5 dates , it should be pure torture for her as well. She shouldn't be able to date you, kiss you ect and not get wet like a swimming pool. Doesn't matter if she is a so called "good girl" or not.

Its a tricky situation to be in . Imo a lot of problems we men have with women is due chasing the wrong type of women / lukewarm uninterested women. You gotta be willing to eject when thing ain't going your way. If a woman would do this to me all my red flags alarms would start screaming. Something ain't right.

Perhaps the problem is you, and your lack of game. Ask the right questions and perhaps you'll get your answer. Tons of stuff matters and when you are oblivious to game you might be missing clues she's giving you. I'm talking about how she dressed ,looked at you ,tone of voice , ect.How far you took it. Honesty about red flags...could ask tons of questions about it and 5 dates will give you plenty of material to pick from...

Do you guys even talk about sex?

 

[sosualadies]

this girl has her head on straight

 

[jimwho]

I only read the first post. If a dingbat wants to tie you down before you can see the vagina. She's Cray cray.
Of the highest order.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

There's two ways of looking at it.



1. She's going to be good for the long haul, whether just a steady plate or a serious relationship because she doesn't just impulsively bang every half decent dude.

2. She's not very into you, perhaps she already has a boyfriend and that's why she's so reluctant to have sex with you. Or perhaps she likes free dinners and talking about herself more than she likes you.

You need to use context clues to figure out if she's #1 or #2.

The fact that she's making him guess suggests an option 3) which is she's not good for the long haul even if she's into him because she's too manipulative/self centered/pain in the @ss. (Which is typical of Catholicism due to the sect pedestalizing the Virgin Mary).