No sex yet after 5 dates

Dr.Suave

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Ok I have an update on this. After rescheduling on her a couple times she asked to come to my place for drinks. Whenever I would try to escalate there was some excuse, she even slept in my bed and was having none of it. "I dont feel like making out" "not in the mood" this morning she said i had bad breath from sleeping (told her that was rude). The whole thing has felt confusing. She will give me lots of random affectionate kisses, happy to wrap her legs all over me but whenever I have tried to take things further she pulls away. This isn't normal right? If she really has such low interest why would she even initiate these things? Any other girl that has acted like this will happily escalate. I think she is frigid tbh. This is a learning experience for me, I had succumb to the sunk cost fallacy. I had thought she could be ltr material before but as I get to know her I dont think thats the case as she's quite negative, always complaining.
@BackInTheGame78 already told you what you have to do. At this point, you are just trolling.
 

devilkingx2

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Ok I have an update on this. After rescheduling on her a couple times she asked to come to my place for drinks. Whenever I would try to escalate there was some excuse, she even slept in my bed and was having none of it. "I dont feel like making out" "not in the mood" this morning she said i had bad breath from sleeping (told her that was rude). The whole thing has felt confusing. She will give me lots of random affectionate kisses, happy to wrap her legs all over me but whenever I have tried to take things further she pulls away. This isn't normal right? If she really has such low interest why would she even initiate these things? Any other girl that has acted like this will happily escalate. I think she is frigid tbh. This is a learning experience for me, I had succumb to the sunk cost fallacy. I had thought she could be ltr material before but as I get to know her I dont think thats the case as she's quite negative, always complaining.
I dated a girl like this once. I didn't quite see it in the moment but with years to reflect on it I came to a few conclusions:

1. She wasn't very into me (physically/sexually) She was dating me for non-sexual reasons.

2. She had unresolved mental/psychological issues and I am not a therapist.

3. She was almost certainly getting her sex somewhere else. Most likely someone she was actually attracted to that wouldn't give her as much time or attention.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Ok I have an update on this. After rescheduling on her a couple times she asked to come to my place for drinks. Whenever I would try to escalate there was some excuse, she even slept in my bed and was having none of it. "I dont feel like making out" "not in the mood" this morning she said i had bad breath from sleeping (told her that was rude). The whole thing has felt confusing. She will give me lots of random affectionate kisses, happy to wrap her legs all over me but whenever I have tried to take things further she pulls away. This isn't normal right? If she really has such low interest why would she even initiate these things? Any other girl that has acted like this will happily escalate. I think she is frigid tbh. This is a learning experience for me, I had succumb to the sunk cost fallacy. I had thought she could be ltr material before but as I get to know her I dont think thats the case as she's quite negative, always complaining.
Stop wasting time with her. Why is she doing it? Because it's fun for her since she knows you must be desperate to bang her at this point and she wants to see your reactions when she keeps shutting you down so she can clown you in the group chat she has going with her girlfriends and they can all get a good laugh out of it.

No it's not normal. Be assured someone else is fvcking her in the ass in the first date
 

SmoothHendrixPS2

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Don't ever let a church/religious type fool you. The body overpowers the mind 9 times out of 10. OP you are down bad with this one. You've made her feel like the prize, adhered to her program, compromised with her, etc. If she does like you, it's for non sexual companionship. Unless you want to keep being her play brother,

Here's my three options that will give you more control of the frame, but it might be too late:

-Express your sexual desires with her VERBALLY.

-Set up the sixth date, and CURVE her an hour before "Something came up, I can't make it tonight"

-Eject the whole mission and tell her you have other options.

Stop being nice, stop taking girls out on dates who aren't sexually interested. Making out means nothing. Girls make out with their friends.
 

Bigpapa

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A lot of comments but no one asks what his strategy to get laid was in the first place

From my end, he has no idea what he is doing

To get laid, logistics is ultra important, and by clueless his messages are I would say that his logistics so far were misaligned with his objective of getting laid

Clueless guys get frustrated when things do not go as they want, even though it is in most cases their fault
 

MatureDJ

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Step back, employ silence and distance, go for other girls and live your best life.
It's pretty obvious that the OP cannot get other girls, or he would be banging them, and this thread would not exist. :rolleyes: I know the feeling of being in his shoes. :mad: :mad: :mad:
 

BillyPilgrim

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Bigrig

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@BackInTheGame78 already told you what you have to do. At this point, you are just trolling.
I felt bad if I would've kicked her out as there was no bus at the time and she lives far away. Should I have? Yes, not making any excuse that's on me.

I dated a girl like this once. I didn't quite see it in the moment but with years to reflect on it I came to a few conclusions:

1. She wasn't very into me (physically/sexually) She was dating me for non-sexual reasons.

2. She had unresolved mental/psychological issues and I am not a therapist.

3. She was almost certainly getting her sex somewhere else. Most likely someone she was actually attracted to that wouldn't give her as much time or attention.
I think 1 and 2

Stop wasting time with her. Why is she doing it? Because it's fun for her since she knows you must be desperate to bang her at this point and she wants to see your reactions when she keeps shutting you down so she can clown you in the group chat she has going with her girlfriends and they can all get a good laugh out of it.

No it's not normal. Be assured someone else is fvcking her in the ass in the first date
She's tells me she "has no friends" and shows me stuff in her phone msgs sometimes, don't know if she'd do that if there was some other dudes in there or such a group chat.

Op won’t do it.
This is the tough love I'm here for

Don't ever let a church/religious type fool you. The body overpowers the mind 9 times out of 10. OP you are down bad with this one. You've made her feel like the prize, adhered to her program, compromised with her, etc. If she does like you, it's for non sexual companionship. Unless you want to keep being her play brother,

Here's my three options that will give you more control of the frame, but it might be too late:

-Express your sexual desires with her VERBALLY.

-Set up the sixth date, and CURVE her an hour before "Something came up, I can't make it tonight"

-Eject the whole mission and tell her you have other options.

Stop being nice, stop taking girls out on dates who aren't sexually interested. Making out means nothing. Girls make out with their friends.
You're right, and the frame has been all wrong from the beginning tbh. Have expressed sex verbally once before.

A lot of comments but no one asks what his strategy to get laid was in the first place

From my end, he has no idea what he is doing

To get laid, logistics is ultra important, and by clueless his messages are I would say that his logistics so far were misaligned with his objective of getting laid

Clueless guys get frustrated when things do not go as they want, even though it is in most cases their fault
Logistics could use some work yes, but having her sleep in my bed is pretty good logistics i thought.

It's pretty obvious that the OP cannot get other girls, or he would be banging them, and this thread would not exist. :rolleyes: I know the feeling of being in his shoes. :mad: :mad: :mad:
OP started a thread where he claimed he hurt his D while phucking (another chick)

I told OP to run from this girl 8 weeks ago: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/advice-after-second-date.277333/post-3012460

I think he got mindphucked by the mixed signals the crayfish is emitting.
Have been banging other girls, but yes I've been mindphucked.

I've been ignoring her since she last messaged me, but I wont be surprised if and when she calls me again. Regardless of the reasons she is clearly not interested in sex nearly to the extent I am, which is important to me. If she tries to set up another date I'll tell her this. I expect long term it would be minimal and possibly **** sex anyway.
Iron rule of Tomassi: if a girl makes you wait for sex it's never worth the wait.
I've played myself in this situation, mixed signals from the start and I feel she has no idea what she wants and likely isn't a very sexual person. She has also mentioned she doesn't want to get hurt.
I was considering her for ltr previously but It's become obvious she is not a good match so I'm done now.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP since the girl has been giving mixed signals and now you're informing us that additionally 1) she has no friends, and 2) she's trying to guilt trip you

You need to move on as you say. And I suspect as you do the sex would be lame.
 
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