I built it, they didn't come

[bat soup]

Is this what you did?

No, because I don't want to date the kind of women that love scumbags.

 

[DonJuanjr]

You're getting it all wrong. To get women you don't have to improve yourself. You have to make yourself worse. You need to become the scumbag that women love. The scumbag that they complain about on their dating profiles and swear they'll never date again... and then do.

No, because I don't want to date the kind of women that love scumbags.

No one reading your original post is going to infer you meant low value women....

 

[pipeman84]

At work, this phenomenon is apparent with an increasing number of divorces and single women in their 30s and 40s. The women don't seem sad about it, quite the opposite, most of them are very motivated by their career. The only logical conclusion is that they want to do this, they want to be single.

You can't take an observation from a tiny sample of women and extrapolate to all women. Leaving aside those truly masculine women who thrive climbing the corporate ladder, the rest of those single ladies self medicate with wine or are on anti depressants, have cats/dogs as surrogates for men and generally are unhappy human beings.
My logical conclusion is that they haven't found a man they truly connect with and that's why they're single, not because they chose to be.

 

[allergictobs]

That is why self improvement can be sick advice. You end up with attention from undesirable women that are 4 points below you and you feel ripped off. The fact that you are escortcelling shows me you have to pay for the company of women (that in a normal and functional society ) that you would otherwise deserve. At least you can afford that hobby. How often are you escortcelling?

I try to see them about once a week, but it doesn't always work out due to schedule conflicts etc. Also, most of them are escorting only a short period of time (often during university studies) and then move on to other things in life.

You can't take an observation from a tiny sample of women and extrapolate to all women. Leaving aside those truly masculine women who thrive climbing the corporate ladder, the rest of those single ladies self medicate with wine or are on anti depressants, have cats/dogs as surrogates for men and generally are unhappy human beings.
My logical conclusion is that they haven't found a man they truly connect with and that's why they're single, not because they chose to be.

I don't know, perhaps single women are not happy, but most of them certainly are not making any effort to attract a man. If they were truly interested in men, the first thing they would do is to get in shape (because all women know that's what attracts men).

Also, if a woman truly likes men and sex, she will stay in shape because it is difficult to have a great sex life if there is no physical attraction. I think Aaron Clarey has talked (not sure if it was him?) about these things a lot and it is very true: getting out of shape tells a lot about a person's mindset, mostly that they have stopped caring.

 

[corrector]

I try to see them about once a week, but it doesn't always work out due to schedule conflicts etc. Also, most of them are escorting only a short period of time (often during university studies) and then move on to other things in life.

Okay, so we have established your tastes of younger University age women. But you are 38 years old. Are you going for like 30 min / incall, or longer periods? What is your monthly budget? Why would you want a civvie women if you are meeting a hot Stacie University woman like that every week? You have made a ceiling with that lifestyle as you are not going to get the same type of women you are seeing through that arrangment and I think you have spoiled yourself out of the dating market. Most people on dating apps have to settle with 3-4 points lower than themselves.

 

[patb]

I'm not a 3 percenter and I do just fine. Social skills and conversational skills are lacking IMHO. OP can paint any picture of himself he wants, this is what makes sense to me.

"Social skills" amount to being a phony, vacuous extrovert. I can't advise anyone not to practice them -- failure to do so will come with consequences. But declining to debase yourself in that way is laudable.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

"Social skills" amount to being a phony, vacuous extrovert. I can't advise anyone not to practice them -- failure to do so will come with consequences. But declining to debase yourself in that way is laudable.

Nope...social skills amount to understanding how to act with other people in public settings. Trust me when I say "being normal" never got you so far as it does today with the amount of weirdos and dudes that have zero social skills in person.

 

[patb]

Nope...social skills amount to understanding how to act with other people in public settings.

That is precisely what I described.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

@patb

You're new here how do you classify yourself? RP, MGTOW, BP?

That is precisely what I described.

 

[allergictobs]

Okay, so we have established your tastes of younger University age women. But you are 38 years old. Are you going for like 30 min / incall, or longer periods? What is your monthly budget?

I think you are a bit too curious/concerned about my lifestyle. I love beautiful women and I love sex. Not all of them are university age, either, some are between 25-35. Also, high quality escorts don't do incall or short visits.

Outside escorting, I get attention from women in their 20s all the time. If you read my first post in this thread, you probably realize that I'm not a typical guy. Many wealthy and fit men even in their 40s date women in their late 20s/early 30s. Why would I try to date women my own age if I aimed for a LTR and possibly starting a family one day?

 

[patb]

@patb

You're new here how do you classify yourself? RP, MGTOW, BP?

Eh, idk. Any/all? Can't say I feel entirely at home in any of those buckets. BP tends to be fixated on looks, which in my experience is just wrong. RP, I subscribe to descriptively more than prescriptively. MGTOW, maybe, probably heading in that direction as life marches towards its dyspeptic conclusion. Tbh, I think the incels are right about most everything, and most everyone is just too egotistical and cowardly to admit it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That is precisely what I described.

That's nothing like you described actually

 

[corsica]

He is talking to escorts.

The problem with talking to escorts is that you might not catch what works and what not during conversation. And continue to be socially awkward (not saying OP is)

Same with beautiful women. Imagine Amber Heard at her prime talking to you.
She goes and says some dumb stuff like:
- I took a crap in my ex’s bed, I hate him. He is a loser.

Most men will say she’s right, brave, etc, in the hope of having sex with her. Instead of telling her she’s a crazy h0e.

 

[patb]

That's nothing like you described actually

You said that social skills amount to conforming to social expectations. Social expectations in North America require you to emulate extroversion, conceal your true opinions and feelings (mandatory positivity), pretend to care more about people than you actually do, and make small talk about things that you likely find uninteresting. Ergo...

 

[patb]

if you're on the spectrum, your only choice is going to be to mimic the lifestyle and behavior of men that are successful with women. This could be self destructive and it will require you to sublimate your desires, but thats what it will take.

And it's incredible to me just how much of a disqualifier any hint of 'neurodivergence' so often is. It can cancel out everything else, even if everything else is solidly above average.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You said that social skills amount to conforming to social expectations. Social expectations in North America require you to emulate extroversion, conceal your true opinions and feelings (mandatory positivity), pretend to care more about people than you actually do, and make small talk about things that you likely find uninteresting. Ergo...

You sound like a person who has no clue how this works. Clearly you have issues with social skills.

Your issue is you likely have strong negative opinions about close to everything and don't respect anyone else's opinion to the contrary.

Who wants to be around someone who acts like that? Nobody, that's who.

Social expectations are that you act like you weren't raised in your room in front of a screen and never went out and played as a child with other kids. I know...hard when you haven't done it before.

 

[allergictobs]

if you're on the spectrum

You mean like autistic? Nah, I function quite well socially and like I mentioned above, never had trouble making friends. Also, I've had relationships in my younger years with normal women.

I'm just introverted and too focused on my career and hobbies and view the ROI on chasing women incredibly low. But I think most successful men (business-wise) are similar in this regard.

 

[patb]

There are plenty of neurodivergent women out there.
We should probably get together as a society and try to figure out why this is happening on such a mass scale.

There are, but they're still greatly outnumbered by their male counterparts. Moreover, they don't face anything approaching the discrimination by the opposite sex that male neurodivergents do. In the latter case, it's pretty much open season from all quarters.

 

[patb]

You sound like a person who has no clue how this works.

I have every clue how this works. What you're trying to do is rationalize the possession of a set of qualities and behaviors that are, at best, morally neutral as something laudable that makes you superior, when by any reasonable moral criteria they are not.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have every clue how this works. What you're trying to do is rationalize the possession of a set of qualities and behaviors that are, at best, morally neutral as something laudable that makes you superior, when by any reasonable moral criteria they are not.

This has nothing to do with morals and every thing to do with mingling well with others in a social setting.

If you want to act like you have never left your room growing up as kid and played computer games all day long by yourself then it's going to be hard to fit in. Not sure how that's surprising.

Also, maybe if you took an interest in anyone other than yourself you wouldn't find it hard to do in a social setting and actually BE interested in others.