Social circle vs Cold approach( Post college Age )

[SW15]

The reason why man dont approach is more of a male problem . Although movies and books are ofcourse not "real", why do you always see the pretty woman gets approached somehow? She could be sitting at a bar alone and a man offers her a drink. She could be buying a book and a man next to her says something about the book. Countless examples. Book sales are at least somewhat a representation of what the fantasies of women.

Let's call a spade a spade; most men simply dont have the balls to approach women due different reasons .

Yes, this is all true. There are some women out there that act like men aren't approaching. Plenty of men are still approaching. If a woman isn't getting approached in real life, there's something about her causing that. Men are thirstier than ever.

Also, a lot of women don't even need to get approached in-person. Look at their Instagram DMs, LinkedIn DMs, and swipe app queues/inboxes. They have full penis pipelines.

 

[Barrister]

That scared feeling is their subconscious telling them it's not the right thing to do. Cold approach signals to any woman with at least 2 brain-cells that the man is low value because basically he's willing to engage with her based on nothing but her looks alone (and a very short time, 1-2min or less, to assess those).

Have you ever picked a woman up from cold approach? The fact you hold this belief (which is a complete fallacy) makes me believe you haven't.

You will pull a good 1-2 SMV points BELOW your own through OLD. With cold approach, you will be batting at your SMV. It is also your chance to show women you have a set of balls and stand out from the rest of the blue pill sheep floating around. If you are good looking and charismatic, you can absolutely slay it with cold approach with hot women. It isn't even up for debate because it has been proven time and time again.

 

[pipeman84]

Have you ever picked a woman up from cold approach? The fact you hold this belief (which is a complete fallacy) makes me believe you haven't.

You will pull a good 1-2 SMV points BELOW your own through OLD. With cold approach, you will be batting at your SMV. It is also your chance to show women you have a set of balls and stand out from the rest of the blue pill sheep floating around. If you are good looking and charismatic, you can absolutely slay it with cold approach with hot women. It isn't even up for debate because it has been proven time and time again.

No man, if I want to fvck a hoe I just call an escort, I ain't got time to waste cold approaching and dating hoes hoping to eventually get some pvssy. I think the Gordon Gekko quote from Wall Street movie applies very well to this situation ''The public's out there throwing darts at a board, sport. l don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things''
Re OLD (swipe apps specifically), I made a thread on it, it's demeaning and a waste of time for a man to be on swipe apps IMO.

 

[Barrister]

No man, if I want to fvck a hoe I just call an escort, I ain't got time to waste cold approaching and dating hoes hoping to eventually get some pvssy. I think the Gordon Gekko quote from Wall Street movie applies very well to this situation ''The public's out there throwing darts at a board, sport. l don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things''
Re OLD (swipe apps specifically), I made a thread on it, it's demeaning and a waste of time for a man to be on swipe apps IMO.

In reality you are just limiting yourself with this outlook. You don't need to be the guy who goes out cruising the mall looking for chicks to take advantage of cold approach. You can do it as you go about your day and have results. Of course you must exert SOME effort to meet women - but considering you are here on a dating/seduction forum I would say you wouldn't be against some diligence being required. Maybe I am wrong.

 

[pipeman84]

In reality you are just limiting yourself with this outlook. You don't need to be the guy who goes out cruising the mall looking for chicks to take advantage of cold approach. You can do it as you go about your day and have results. Of course you must exert SOME effort to meet women - but considering you are here on a dating/seduction forum I would say you wouldn't be against some diligence being required. Maybe I am wrong.

My goal is to find a girl to be in a LTR with.....being on this forum has helped me a lot to clarify in my mind what exactly I'm looking for. So my goal is incompatible with cold approaching or OLD, not just because it sets the frame wrong from the start, but the kind of girl I'm interested in isn't on OLD and wouldn't respond to cold approaching (meaning, 'hey you're cute, can I have your number' at the mall or on the street).

 

[Barrister]

My goal is to find a girl to be in a LTR with.....being on this forum has helped me a lot to clarify in my mind what exactly I'm looking for. So my goal is incompatible with cold approaching or OLD, not just because it sets the frame wrong from the start, but the kind of girl I'm interested in isn't on OLD and wouldn't respond to cold approaching (meaning, 'hey you're cute, can I have your number' at the mall or on the street).

I am not sure what kind of girl you are describing. You can meet good women through cold approaching - women who respond positively to cold approach. Again, I maintain you are limiting yourself, but I am glad the forum has helped you.

 

[BadBoy89]

If a man finds the rare woman worth committing to, what's he supposed to do? Not commit and continue to waste time with hoes?

There is no women worth committing to. He can BE with her. But he should not COMMIT to her.

Women can have very sexy bodies in their late 40s, 50s...Kate Beckinsale and Elizabeth Hurley come to mind. And it's not just the body, the fact that you're with a quality person with whom you've built memories, knowing that she's your woman and you two are on the same wavelength is extremely sexy.

Why are you DEFENDING older women?

Older women are good for companionship, have lunches, wash clothes, cook dinner, clean house. But to have SEX with? A man should go as young as LEGALLY possible.

 

[SW15]

You can meet good women through cold approaching - women who respond positively to cold approach.

I agree with this.

You don't need to be the guy who goes out cruising the mall looking for chicks to take advantage of cold approach. You can do it as you go about your day and have results. Of course you must exert SOME effort to meet women - but considering you are here on a dating/seduction forum I would say you wouldn't be against some diligence being required.

I disagree with this. Most men are likely to need to do some sort of dedicated approach session in order to find dates. It's quite difficult to find women as you go about your day. Most men don't have a good enough daily routine to meet enough women to find dates.

A dedicated approach session can take on many forms. They include...

1. Going to a bar and doing approaches. A lot of men go to bars when they need to find prospects.
2. A dedicated, outdoor approach session. This is something like 2 hours on a walking path, on the street, or in a park doing approaches, often on a weekend during daylight hours.
3. A dedicated, indoor approach session. This could be 1-2 hours in 1-2 grocery stores or 1-3 hours in a mall or bookstore.
4. Going to fitness classes at a gym to meet women. Many men belong to a gym already that offers classes. Big box gyms like 24 Hour Fitness and LA Fitness offer classes. Classes are the best way around the earbud problem of the general gym floor. Some men might even do something like ClassPass or joining a new secondary/class based gym to meet women.
5. Joining a co-ed sports league. Some men might be really into that sport. A lot of men do co-ed sports league to try to get dates.

 

[pipeman84]

Why are you DEFENDING older women?

Older women are good for companionship, have lunches, wash clothes, cook dinner, clean house. But to have SEX with? A man should go as young as LEGALLY possible.

I'm not saying go pick an older woman for an LTR, I'm saying if you get a quality younger woman and you grow old together, then it's no problem she reaches 50 (and you're 55, 60, 65 yrs old). What you're proposing is that a man who's been with a woman for 10, 15yrs should dump her for some 20yrs old hoe...that's not my mentality.

 

[Barrister]

I disagree with this. Most men are likely to need to do some sort of dedicated approach session in order to find dates. It's quite difficult to find women as you go about your day. Most men don't have a good enough daily routine to meet enough women to find dates.

A dedicated approach session can take on many forms. They include...

1. Going to a bar and doing approaches. A lot of men go to bars when they need to find prospects.
2. A dedicated, outdoor approach session. This is something like 2 hours on a walking path, on the street, or in a park doing approaches, often on a weekend during daylight hours.
3. A dedicated, indoor approach session. This could be 1-2 hours in 1-2 grocery stores or 1-3 hours in a mall or bookstore.
4. Going to fitness classes at a gym to meet women. Many men belong to a gym already that offers classes. Big box gyms like 24 Hour Fitness and LA Fitness offer classes. Classes are the best way around the earbud problem of the general gym floor. Some men might even do something like ClassPass or joining a new secondary/class based gym to meet women.
5. Joining a co-ed sports league. Some men might be really into that sport. A lot of men do co-ed sports league to try to get dates.

Brother, we will have to agree to disagree then.

I am not saying that you are going to meet women going about your day at the workplace. What I am saying is you can meet women going about your day if you are out in a retail store, grocery store, etc. or if you have dinner somewhere and begin chatting up a woman who is sitting at the restaurant bar.

I also never made it a point to go out cold approaching for the sole sake of cold approaching. I know a lot of men, including other members on SS, do just that. However, I like to have another purpose for the trip whether that is I am out shopping or I am at the bar we are at with some buddies. It always makes the conversation much more free flowing.

I have tried come cold approaching at the gym - but I generally stick to just getting my workout done there.

 

[pipeman84]

I am not sure what kind of girl you are describing. You can meet good women through cold approaching - women who respond positively to cold approach.

Early-mid 20s, feminine, demure, virgin...not only is cold approaching unnatural, the age gap would make it downright sleazy.

 

[devilkingx2]

Re OLD (swipe apps specifically), I made a thread on it, it's demeaning and a waste of time for a man to be on swipe apps IMO.

This is an area I agree with you on; with one exception OLD is only good for chads to bang slvts. Anyone other than chads and slvts won't get much out of it.

The one exception is if you pay for the advanced complex filters some apps like Hinge, Bumble and OKC have that allow you to search for a compatible woman in a way you normally can't. (For example, Christian women who don't drink or smoke.)

My goal is to find a girl to be in a LTR with.....being on this forum has helped me a lot to clarify in my mind what exactly I'm looking for. So my goal is incompatible with cold approaching or OLD, not just because it sets the frame wrong from the start, but the kind of girl I'm interested in isn't on OLD and wouldn't respond to cold approaching (meaning, 'hey you're cute, can I have your number' at the mall or on the street).

The only point that I think you have on Cold Approaching is that it's probably more likely to attract slvts. But almost any method of meeting women is more likely to attract slvts.

A woman who will date you after 5 minutes of looking decent/good and spitting smooth game is more likely to be easy than a woman who wouldn't. But this applies to any random stranger meeting: tourists, vacations, bars/clubs, OLD, mall approaches, etc.

meeting a woman who is less receptive to meeting new people seems contradictory and difficult though.

 

[pipeman84]

The only point that I think you have on Cold Approaching is that it's probably more likely to attract slvts. But almost any method of meeting women is more likely to attract slvts.

A woman who will date you after 5 minutes of looking decent/good and spitting smooth game is more likely to be easy than a woman who wouldn't. But this applies to any random stranger meeting: tourists, vacations, bars/clubs, OLD, mall approaches, etc.

I don't think you can lump them all together...for instance a group vacation can be a good opportunity to meet a fellow tourist organically.

meeting a woman who is less receptive to meeting new people seems contradictory and difficult though.

It isn't a matter of her being less receptive to meeting new people, in fact she must be looking for someone, just like I am. But that has to happen under certain conditions and the process unfolds step by step. For example, let's say you meet at the gym... she has plenty of time to observe you and warm up to you, she give IOIs, you pick up on those, start chatting, develop rapport, ask her out, start dating...that's natural, organic. Compare this to the situation where the first time you see her at the gym you go for number close...you'll just scare her away.

 

[BadBoy89]

What you're proposing is that a man who's been with a woman for 10, 15yrs should dump her for some 20yrs old hoe...that's not my mentality.

No I would agree.

Just as long as the man has a 20 - 27 year mistress on the side.

 

[SW15]

I am not saying that you are going to meet women going about your day at the workplace. What I am saying is you can meet women going about your day if you are out in a retail store, grocery store, etc. or if you have dinner somewhere and begin chatting up a woman who is sitting at the restaurant bar.

It's possible for this to happen. It's not that likely. Most men don't have a good enough daily routine for it to happen.

For men that work in large buildings with multiple tenants, it's possible to find a woman working in the same building for a different company and set up a date with her/get her number. I did this multiple times in the 2010s. With more white collar work being shifted to work at home, it's more challenging to do this now but not impossible. Blue collar men will have a more difficult time with this because blue collar/manual labor workplaces have fewer women.

The grocery store is a different place in pickup mode vs. non-pickup mode. If I just want to grocery shop, I can complete a visit to a typical grocery store in about 25-30 minutes. In those 25-30 minutes, I might not see a viable target. If I am doing an approach session in a grocery store, I will intentionally slow my time in the store. I might spend 60-75 minutes getting what I need. I will need to linger longer in order to find viable approach targets. Roosh even mentioned in "Day Bang" that it wouldn't be abnormal to spend 3 hours in a grocery store doing an approach session in order to get enough prospects to talk for a few minutes and agree to a date. No one normally is spending 3 hours in a grocery store.

Because cold approach is inefficient, numerous women who get approached and actually agree to a date/give out their number will also flake prior to the date. Most women won't actually engage beyond 30 seconds in most indoor approach settings, which is an insufficient amount of time to determine if a date is worthwhile. Most men need more volume of approaches, which is where dedicated approach sessions become a reality.

Men do not tend to go to dinner as much with friends and would have fewer opportunities to do the approach you describe. Men tend to spend time with their friends in activities such as hunting, fishing, auto repair, tennis, or golf. Good luck meeting women with those hobbies. Tennis and golf are the least of the sausage fests there but even those two activities don't lend themselves to meeting a lot of women.

I also never made it a point to go out cold approaching for the sole sake of cold approaching. I know a lot of men, including other members on SS, do just that. However, I like to have another purpose for the trip whether that is I am out shopping or I am at the bar we are at with some buddies. It always makes the conversation much more free flowing.

A slower grocery store approach session does result in me collecting groceries.

I have done sessions in the mall where I didn't buy anything in any mall stores.

I have tried come cold approaching at the gym - but I generally stick to just getting my workout done there.

The gym is a tough venue mainly because of the earbud factor. Fitness classes are the big workaround to the earbud factor and offer great ratios but result in fewer dates than most men would expect from a female majority setting.

In thinking about the general gym floor, most men are in the weight lifting section, which is more male than female. The few females there are wearing earbuds and are looking for men with @sangheilios type physiques. 6'0"+ and muscular. Those men will have an easier time of getting women's attention and getting them to remove their earbuds. Most men aren't hanging around the ellipticals or treadmills either and trying to get the attention of earbud wearing women in that part of the gym.

 

[corrector]

The grocery store is a different place in pickup mode vs. non-pickup mode. If I just want to grocery shop, I can complete a visit to a typical grocery store in about 25-30 minutes. In those 25-30 minutes, I might not see a viable target. If I am doing an approach session in a grocery store, I will intentionally slow my time in the store. I might spend 60-75 minutes getting what I need. I will need to linger longer in order to find viable approach targets. Roosh even mentioned in "Day Bang" that it wouldn't be abnormal to spend 3 hours in a grocery store doing an approach session in order to get enough prospects to talk for a few minutes and agree to a date. No one normally is spending 3 hours in a grocery store.

Normal people who have work/duties will not be able to afford to spend 3 hours in a grocery store, let alone 60-75 minutes. In other words, cold approach only works if you have allot of time on your hands.

 

[SW15]

Normal people who have work/duties will not be able to afford to spend 3 hours in a grocery store, let alone 60-75 minutes. In other words, cold approach only works if you have allot of time on your hands.

You underestimate what a man with an intense sexual need will do. I never did a Roosh style 3 hour grocery store session. However, there have been weekends where I did 1 hour in one grocery store on a Saturday and 1 hour in another grocery store on a Sunday. Think about the men who waste 3-3.5 hours watching a sportsball game on a weekend. Instead of watching basketball/football/baseball and wasting 3-3.5 hours on a spectator sports game, I did approach sessions. Approach sessions are a better use of time than watching a sportsball game.

I've also done outdoor approach sessions for 2 hours on walking paths.

I agree with the idea that cold approach requires a lot of time. What's the alternative though? Swiping on an app? Swiping on an app is also a time sink for most men. The only so-called advantage that swipe apps can offer is that you can do your digital pickups while sitting at home. Both approaching strangers and app swiping are both inefficient and not the best uses of time. Approaching strangers in person is likely the better choice. The urgency of a sexual need is a big motivator.

No porn and no fap pushed the urgency. If you're doing a no porn/no fap lifestyle, you'll be so motivated to get vagina that you'll lose the approach anxiety.

 

[devilkingx2]

Normal people who have work/duties will not be able to afford to spend 3 hours in a grocery store, let alone 60-75 minutes. In other words, cold approach only works if you have allot of time on your hands.

This is true. AlphaMaleStrategies said that he got more women when he was broke and living in a Basement in his 20s. He had no hobbies or side hustles and a ton of free time so he could do countless approaches.

But instead he pushes being a high value man, since he's wealthy and in good shape he doesn't have to spend 10 hours a week cold approaching 100 females to get laid. (More choosing signals sent to him, a much higher percentage of his approaches will be closes, higher quality females, etc.)

 

[SW15]

This is true. AlphaMaleStrategies said that he got more women when he was broke and living in a Basement in his 20s because he had no hobbies or side hustles and a ton of free time so he could do countless approaches.

But he pushes being a high value man because now that he's wealthy and in good shape he doesn't have to spend 10 hours a week cold approaching 100 females to get laid. (More choosing signals sent to him, a much higher percentage of his approaches will be closes, higher quality females, etc.)

https://web.archive.org/web/20120823061229/http://www.rooshv.com/getting-laid-while-unemployed-and-living-in-your-dads-basement\

There was a time when Roosh was in his early 30s, unemployed, and living in his dad's basement. He was still getting laid. He had a lot of free time to approach then.

 

[corrector]

You underestimate what a man with an intense sexual need will do. I never did a Roosh style 3 hour grocery store session. However, there have been weekends where I did 1 hour in one grocery store on a Saturday and 1 hour in another grocery store on a Sunday. Think about the men who waste 3-3.5 hours watching a sportsball game on a weekend. Instead of watching basketball/football/baseball and wasting 3-3.5 hours on a spectator sports game, I did approach sessions. Approach sessions are a better use of time than watching a sportsball game.

I don't watch sportsgame or have the time to look at that either. It can be argued just about anything else is a better use of time than something one is not interested in looking at.

I've also done outdoor approach sessions for 2 hours on walking paths.

You did mention that outdoor approaches are more logistically difficult if you are riding a bike and the lady is walking with earbuds on.
Obviously you walk rather than using a bike.

I agree with the idea that cold approach requires a lot of time. What's the alternative though?

I never said there was an alternative but other posters have made other suggestions. I just said if you can not afford the time to do cold approaches then you won't be able to do cold approaches.

Swiping on an app? Swiping on an app is also a time sink for most men.

You will never hear any post I've mentioned swipe apps with any positive reference or alternative.

No porn and no fap pushed the urgency. If you're doing a no porn/no fap lifestyle, you'll be so motivated to get vagina that you'll lose the approach anxiety.

This is something that may work for 20 year olds or people who are 6-7 Normie-tiers, however, for sub-5s (ie which you admitted you are not and therefore can't possibily have an experience of a sub-5), no porn/fap urgency means having the police called on you, or worst, ending up in jail with a rape (likely false one) allegation from a lady who got creeped out that you approached her and wants to make trouble for you. Therefore, anyone going on photoreeler and doesn't at least have a 7 score, should see cold approach as dangerous because you might get a crazy Karen that calls the police on you because you are not good looking enough.

Therefore, to the sub-5s and Chads/Chadlites, explain how more "motivation" would make any difference? One end of the spectrum would just invite legal trouble or worst, and the other end of the spectrum have women going all over them anyway whether they are into that or not.