Social circle vs Cold approach( Post college Age )

[MtmVaott]

@kavi
I really like your take on how to use the social circle.

I've seen what you describe work out perfectly.
One was a guy who hosted parties at his place. He met girls whereever, but he invited them to the party. As did other guys and girls of his circle.
Another guy hosted a party at his place, too. But he invited every kind of person, and people could bring other people. It wasn't a 'hook-up'-party like the one from the first guy, more a social get-together. Still, new people come and go, so new chances.

How did you create yours, or how did you get into your circle?

 

[DreamAgain]

The problem is that men are incapable of creating social circles that benefit women and pull them in.

If a guy can do that then the circle and women may not have problems with serial monogamists or even polygamy becuase the social circle the man created or added value to benefits the woman and other men and the relationships are a choice on both sides.

But men are USING (and hurting) social circles because they just want to get the girl FROM the social circle but they dont care about the social circle.

At the end of the day community/social circle is the bedrock of relationships and life in general.

Most men are simply joining social circles, sports clubs for pssy rather than using Game to nourish the social group with more women.

You dont need a social circle to get women, you need one to put a woman into.

You need a social circle so when you cold approach you have a better proposition than coffee/dinner/sex.

Men need understand this and put the work in.

I am involved in such a circle and I have done a lot to draw women into it via GAME. It seems to be working well but most ppl esp the girls are uprooted adults from other countries who have moved to London.

Hopefully in the coming year i can take this to the next level.

I run Game on a chick. Instead of taking her out and running after her/chasing I simply put her into the group where she meets other guys and girls and makes friendships etc. Then she is always there and i dont have to worry about losing her or spending too much one2one time. She can't really play me or make drama or have power over me.

A woman can easily play and make drama or issues with ONE GUY. But when you make your relationship with her VIA a social group then she is just one girl in a group with multiple men and women so she cannot have the same power. Your status in her eyes in your Game level AND status according to the group that she values.

You are correct, but not that it is the bedrock of life at all.

In fact, many of the most rewarding aspects of life, self growth, improvement, are all done through individual labor and effort.

It is simply too difficult and up to chance to build a good social circle, making friends is a somewhat random endeavor, when you consider you are most likely to befriend people who are most similar to you.

If your IQ, for instance, is several standard deviations to the right of center, you may in your lifetime meet only a few people who are compatible with you to be considered true friends.

 

[Don of the north]

Numbers don't mean shyt...it's having a meaningful connection with a girl that counts. Seeing genuine satisfaction on the girl's face that she's found you and now you're together. If you use that as a yardstick to measure the success of cold approaching then you get to the 99.5% failure rate alluded before.

The highest demonstration of SMV in my view is when a guy receives IOIs left right and center and women want to be with him because he has just the right mix of looks, money, status.

"Connection" just means she's attracted to you. That's woman speak. Guys confuse that with long deep conversations with her. You need at least 10 numbers to get something generally. Lots of flakiness. Nightgame numbers are even worse. But you said 1 number so I went with that.

 

[MtmVaott]

You have to miss a few before you get good at seeing them. I'm no Greek God, Not even a God of War (but I play one) . But through my interactions WITH my Social circle, I DO get approached by women BECAUSE I demonstrate my approachability and invite it through eye contact, smiles and sincere greetings.
When women open you it is an approach invitation and you have to strike while the iron is hot. You miss that window and it expires. You still have to lead and a strong woman will not tolerate a weak leader.

Could you describe this in more detail? I don't really understand how your social circle is part of the approaches, and who approaches who. And it's interesting for me what your general vibe is. The behaviour about the greeting seems to be very validating to me.

 

[2Rocky]

Could you describe this in more detail? I don't really understand how your social circle is part of the approaches, and who approaches who. And it's interesting for me what your general vibe is. The behaviour about the greeting seems to be very validating to me.

Heres one Example...

I had a crappy day yesterday. Woke up sore and tired, and had a disagreement with my boss. Held it together but wanted to take it out physically. Coffee and Ibuprofen took the edge off but I still needed to go sweat and burn some calories. Arrived at the Pub run early and ordered a beer and surveyed the crowd that was there already, a number of attractive women circulating. As my group arrived, I went and socialized with them. We were about 40 in total and the rest of the patrons noticed. As I was talking with a number of them male and female alike I'm pretty sure I established my social proof.

So we go out for 30 minutes or so and I return drenched in sweat. I've got my street clothes there and I change into them and use the bathroom. I'm sweating so much I left puddles in the bathroom, and I'm flushed. 30 seconds out of the bathroom, a young attractive female is calling to me. "Sir...Sir...". I turn and she is holding my phone. I'd left it in the bathroom. My mind momentarily goes to what that bathroom must look and smell like and I mentally shudder. Oh well she doesn't know me, **** IT....I thank her and smile and go order my beer and talk with my group for 20 -30 minutes. I drain my beer and I'm walking out to my car when the woman who had my phone is following me out into the parking lot...Calling after me....Looking closer she's wearing cute leggings and a tank top.

I'm standing by my car and I jokingly ask "Did I leave my phone again?"
She smiles and says "NOOOO....I wanted to ask you a question." (UH OH)


"Are you married?"

I grin.

I responded. "No I'm not married. But I am going home to a beautiful woman I love very much."

She nervously smiles and says "That is too bad. My friend thinks you are very attractive."

I reply "Well, thank you for coming up and saying something. My name is Rocky. What's your's?

"Sabrina"

"Well Sabrina it was really nice meeting you and thank you for the compliment."

"OK BYYYEEE"

So I left feeling better about my prospects in life.

Am I gonna tell my girlfriend about that? Probably not. Unless she specifically asks.

It is really nice being on this side of the Chase Equation.

So Here I Am SWEATY, FLUSHED, PROBABLY SMELLY in the Middle of the week.... And women I don't know are approaching me, and engaging me. MUST be pheromones mixed with endorphins. I do think the social proof played a role though. This has happened to me once before when a woman ahead of me in line called me "beautiful" as I was waiting for a post run beer.

So try to work out before you head out to the bar and see if it affects the way women respond to you. I'd recommend showering first, but if you have a little post shower sweat going...don't "Sweat it" heh heh...

 

[2Rocky]

It had been a rough week. My child had been difficult while she was with me the previous 2 days, work was stressful with short staff and a boss who was micromanaging because he was shortsighted in his actions earlier. When Friday came I needed to blow off some steam. Despite the scattered rain, I laced up my running shoes, and pulled up the running playlist on my phone. 3 miles later I had a good sweat going, and I felt invigorated due to the exercise endorphins, and the post exercise shower. I decided to head down to the local roadhouse for a steak dinner and a quiet nightcap.

It's a party
I arrived to cars jamming the parking lot, and parked down the road on both sides. My sociability skyrocketed as I heard the band on the second floor playing and the hum of the crowd. I walked past the line of people waiting to be admitted to the second floor, and took a seat at the bar. On my left were a couple of Mexican 20 somethings and on my right, one of my customers. I ordered a drink, and soon after ordered a steak dinner. The next 30 minutes to an hour consisted of eating my dinner, chatting with customers, and neighbors and making eye contact with the cute bartender. One of my employees showed up, and a few more customers rolled through when the band took a break upstairs. One of my colleagues sons came by and invited me upstairs and even offered to pay my cover charge. I grabbed my drink and followed him upstairs. The lady taking the cover charge met my eye and said "you look familiar...". I introduced myself and mentioned my company and she reciprocated with her name and mentioned she was a client. My buddy then said "Dude, I already paid your cover, you don't have to flirt with the ticket lady!"

Maybe I'll just watch the band a bit
As we entered the second floor I scanned the crowd. I noticed a woman who I had met at the last place I'd seen this band. She had given me her number but I'd never called her. Tonight she never met my glance the whole night. She did not look happy the whole time. I chatted briefly with one of her 6 ft tall female friends but she didn't hook. I went on socializing with males and females alike, just people watching. The age range was from 75-21 with majority 21-30. There was maybe 50 people in the small room

Meeting and Seducing Blondie
An older female acquaintance came up with a younger slender blonde who was giving me quite direct eye contact. I introduced myself, and got the "You look familiar" line again. She followed with "Are you on Match?" I answered in the negative. So we began talking about our family names and she explained who her ex husband was. Turns out he is both a former neighbor and former company client. I danced with my two female friends (yes 2 on 1) when the band started back up, then the older one deftly abandoned Blondie in my care. At this point she volunteered "I think you better take my number." Throughout the rest of the evening I had my hand on the small of Blondie's back, and after a slow dance she met my lips with a kiss. My hand found it's way under her shirt, and I could NOT find any sign of underwear as I gently massaged her lower back and waistline, discreetly hidden under her jacket. I asked her at that point what her plans were after, and she said "I have to drive my friends home tonight" I pressed her to meet up after and she countered with, "No, but let's hang out tomorrow."

 

[2Rocky]

So I have an annual work conference I attend. I've probably been to it 15 times. In conjunction with it is our professional society meeting, so I always arrive the night before, and hang out at the hotel lobby bar. I've developed a pretty good network and a number of the sales reps who work for my suppliers are there, and they always like this conference as an opportunity to schmooze with their clients. Since I'd been so involved in our professional society, they know who I am, and are more than happy to greet me by name, and buy me a drink.

This time, I checked into my room, and got freshened up to head down for a beer and a bite at about 8:00 pm. As I was coming down the elevator, I spied a lone woman in a dress sitting at the same high top I'd met the woman from the previous report. I also spied an empty spot at the bar across from her.

I walked around the corner, and immediately made eye contact with her. Upon which she smiled, returned the eye contact and sat up straight, while smiling and maintaining eye contact. It was then I knew I was in.

As I neared her and turned to the bar, her phone rang and she answered it in a voice I could hear clearly "Hello Beautiful!" So I turned back around, made eye contact once more and said with a smile "Hello Beautiful." She fluttered her eyelashes, smiled and waved.

She beamed and said to her phone conversation partner, who had heard me "I just had this tall good looking guy walk by me as I answered you . He was the one who said "Hello Beautiful back to me!" I turned and ordered my beer and a menu while she had her phone conversation. As I sat there a salesman from Atlanta Georgia struck up a conversation, and I replied sparingly and let him prattle on. Meanwhile I was listening to Ms. Hi Top as she talked to her girlfriend.

When my first beer was about finished, industry colleagues started rolling in including one who is a former Division 1 Football linebacker. He sidled up to me, shook my hand and bought my next beer. One by one more colleagues start rolling in greeting me in front of Ms. Hi Top. I was turned with my back to the bar keeping an eye on her as I was having about 3 conversations at a time. She was listening to my conversations as well just waiting for an opportunity or a break in the conversation. By this time she had stepped off her seat, and I broke from my conversation and addressed her directly. "Hello Beautiful, please don't just stand out there, come join us." All my buddies eyes went from me to her, as my linebacker buddy followed with "and what are you drinking miss?"

At this point she became the center of attention as she explained where "Hello Beautiful" came from, and then turned to me and said "You are quite popular" All the while with LASER eye contact. The whole time, I was sitting at the bar, sideways, talking between bites of my dinner as all the middle aged male colleagues of mine circled around and acted like lovestruck orbiters, but with a little more professional panache. She positioned herself close to me and in the crowded bar it was quite close and kino was nearly automatic as we brushed arms and her legs straddled my knee on occasion. She would field a question from one of the guys, then give her reply while looking at me. Eventually, the gaggle spread out as they came to know who the "New Hot Chick" was and I offered her the seat next to me. All the while I remained seated. This time frame was about as long as the second half of the basketball game on the television...

One funny incident was when one of the technical consultants I work with started telling her about a problem he had she reached into her purse, pulled out a business card, told him she didn't have an answer for him but she would be happy to refer him to the right person, and handed ME the card. "You can ask FT for my email...." I was laughing maniacally on the inside....

So we talked alone at the the bar one on one for about another 30 minutes. Being a hotel bar, it shut down at 11 or 11:30, so the bartender gave us one more drink before last call. We finished the drink, and most of my crew had left so I walked her to the elevator. In the elevator, I enveloped her in a kiss as we rode to her floor. She said "I'd take you to my room but I don't want you to think I'm that kind of girl." I kissed her, shrugged and said ""OK". then hit the button to my floor and watched the door close....


.....So I went back to my room and fished out the business card she had handed me. It had only one phone number on it , so I sent a short text:

"Yes, but I am that kind of guy."

She replied
"My room #XXX"

In 5 minutes, I was there, and I left just in time for my morning meeting....


On this experience, I had everything in my favor. Her interest, my social proof, a sense of Outcome Independence (demonstrated by letting her off the elevator after the emotional spike of the kiss.), and Logistics of a hotel room right there

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

There seems to be this line of thinking that women are more likely to date you if they are in your social circle so you should concentrate on social circle game. I couldn't disagree more.

The 80/20 rule applies whether it's college, social circle, or Tinder.

Most guys are having trouble getting women in college. Most people will never have a bigger social circle than when you are in college unless you become a celebrity or a rich nightclub owner later in life.

There's this myth that "women don't go out with guys they don't know". Yeah, ask the chads on tinder about that or the dudes they met on springbreak! The number one way most couples meet is online dating, which are strangers. This idea that "women don't go out with guys they don't know" is a misleading lie women use to dissuade cold approaching because they don't like what they consider unattractive men hitting on them. Just Entitled princesses.

The reason many people "meet through friends" is pure easiness/laziness/convenience. If you're a good looking guy at say an 7/8, her friends will hook you up with their friend who is a 6. If falls in your lap. You don't have to put yourself out there and face rejection. Cold approaching is brutal out there and most men don't want to face it.

If you're below a 5 as a guy, the likelihood of you finding a hot chick or even average chick through social circle is insanely low. Out of 1000 women who are 7+ in looks, how many will have a odd sexual attraction to you if you are below a 5? Maybe a FEW. How are you going to get 1000+ women who are 7+ and single in your social circle? The numbers are simply not there for the vast majority of men. You need a ton of women to find one that has an ODD attraction to you if you're not that good looking. The better looking you are, the higher the number of women that will find you attractive out of the 1000 will be. That's how looks work. Cold approach gives you the numbers advantage.

I think really the best bet a man at 5 or below has to get a woman he's really attracted to is to do a cold approach and hope you get lucky. Our anti-male feminist society is really trying hard to repress men who are average or below by trying to take away the cold approach from us by making it a social stigma and even calling the police. The repression is real. And for great looking men, the cold approach opens up your world to a caliber and quality of women you could only dream of otherwise.

Also, I couldn't think of anything shadier and more underhanded than making friends with people mostly just in case they might know some women. Really beta, thirsty, and phony.

Finally, I think that people have a complete misunderstanding of how attraction works. This is of course from the Blue pill nonsense. And PUA's outright lying to men telling them stupid crap that looks don't matter and black pilling an entire swath of men and that you can make a woman attracted to you with fancy gimmicky crap. Now they falsely believe you can get a woman attracted to you by letting her "get to know you" through social circle. What does that sound like? It sounds like someone in the friendzone playing the long game. We know how that story ends.

The woman doesn't "need to get to know you" by being friends first in a social circle. In fact, this is what leads people to the friendzone. If she's attracted to you; the minute you say hello, she feels a spark. NOW is when "game" comes into play. She'll barely be able to control herself if the attraction is strong. I think some people who are really bad with women have never experienced this. It's why I don't think a woman is a ho when she gives it up quickly to you. She's called "easy". I call that compliance and you want it. Men make the mistake of going after women that have low interest in them and then run game on them by making them wait and having them think they're getting a prize meanwhile they give it up to other guys right away, just NOT YOU! You end up with a woman who doesn't have burning desire for you.

Cold approaching women is the single most efficient way to get women who meets YOUR attraction level.

 

[Velasco]

Cold approaching women is the single most efficient way to get women who meets YOUR attraction level

Not really. Cold approach (clubs and bars. Not daygame) is the most efficient way to rack up a bunch of one night stands with girls. Quality can be all over the place, depending on where you go, how you look.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Not really. Cold approach (clubs and bars. Not daygame) is the most efficient way to rack up a bunch of one night stands with girls.

Well, I've had success with both day and night game.

Either way, the concept is the same....you walk up and approach the bytch.

No need to make unnecessary distinctions between day and night (split hairs).

Mostly all of my cold approaches over the past year have been daygame, since I do not do the night thing any more.

However, if I returned to the night game, my success rate (percentage) would probably be in the mid-high 40%, as opposed to where it is currently (mid 30%).

Based on where I am in my life now, daygame is not only suits me better, but it is just gives me the better results overall.

 

[MtmVaott]

@2Rocky
Thank you.
Were there moments you felt angered about the fact others were more aggressive, less appreciating, but successful with it?
I remember I felt frustrated because I appreciated others and showed affection for both men and women, but I wasn't able to go after what I wanted.

 

[2Rocky]

@2Rocky
Thank you.
Were there moments you felt angered about the fact others were more aggressive, less appreciating, but successful with it?
I remember I felt frustrated because I appreciated others and showed affection for both men and women, but I wasn't able to go after what I wanted.

Sure, In college especially. Probably was the biggest reason I married the woman I met in my Sophomore year. She was the type who that approach (more aggressive, less appreciating,) did not work on. Looking back there was a number of women attracted to me who wanted me to be more of a leader and approach them, but I was too passive due to my upbringing. The funny thing was, once I had a girlfriend I felt more able to be a leader. I was appointed to a leadership position at my part-time job, and I found my words carried more weight with my schoolmates.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If I had taken a job in a city which was not my own, I would first make sure that I was displaying value to my coworkers, either by being a source of their financial success or being an outstanding source of operational support, whatever it may be. Be outstanding and be receptive to compliments and then you leverage that praise into saying, hey I’m new here, when you have time can you guys show me around a little bit? You always want to sell in your best light, and looking for an introduction to someone’s group is by extension a reflection of their name themselves. So you need to put out the bait and then be ready to capitalize without looking obvious. Secondly, and really primarily, you’ll get a lot of good feedback from the office and your leverage in whatever way exists with management will improve also.

 

[MtmVaott]

Sure, In college especially. Probably was the biggest reason I married the woman I met in my Sophomore year. She was the type who that approach (more aggressive, less appreciating,) did not work on. Looking back there was a number of women attracted to me who wanted me to be more of a leader and approach them, but I was too passive due to my upbringing. The funny thing was, once I had a girlfriend I felt more able to be a leader. I was appointed to a leadership position at my part-time job, and I found my words carried more weight with my schoolmates.

So since you were off the market very early, did you feel like you missed out on what others experienced?

 

[2Rocky]

It was a tradeoff. The fact I wasn't chasing pu$$y improved my grades, limited my alcohol consumption because I wasn't out at the bars trying to meet women, and made me focus on my career. It set my mindset to one of long term relationships in business, career, and relationships. I'll admit 10 years in after 2 kids, I definitely felt like I'd missed the chance to sow my oats, and that the relationship had held me back from some sense of adventure. But I'd always been mature for my age, and I thought that was what the goal was..
So if I were to give advice to a soon to graduate, college man, it would be:

Have a dream about where you want to be in 1, 5 and 10 years. Be able to verbalize this, . Have it written down.
Address these areas:

How to Use the Life Balance Wheel to Set Meaningful Goals

The Life Balance Wheel is a simple, yet powerful personal development tool that you can use to help you set meaningful goals. Download the Life Balance Wheel pdf and take the first step to creating your most balanced life.

www.morningcoffeewithdee.com

MindTools | Home

Essential skills for an excellent career

www.mindtools.com

Social Circle as a catalyst to meeting your goals:
Meet women. Have varying depths of relationships. Befriend people (male and female) who share similar visions as yourself, and encourage you to go towards your goals. Recognize people and situations that hold you back from those goals.

Promote relationships that help your goals. You will find women will drop out of your life when they aren't compatible with the life you want. This is normal. Don't become rootbound.

As you achieve in the directions of your goals women will be attracted to you because you are happy and genuine. I experienced this while married. After time I realized I'd outgrown some of those people and some grew with me.

You are a different person with different perspectives in different parts of your life.
16-18
18-21
21-23
25 and over.

Don't make a life altering decision in one age bracket that will limit you in the next one and one after. Also recognize when you have "levelled up". This is when you need to reevaluate your goals and progress towards them.

Quality women will be a byproduct of a life well lived. As I look back i've befriended a number of women who could have been LTR material because of going after life goals. The best ones you marry.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

There seems to be this line of thinking that women are more likely to date you if they are in your social circle so you should concentrate on social circle game. I couldn't disagree more.

The 80/20 rule applies whether it's college, social circle, or Tinder.

Most guys are having trouble getting women in college. Most people will never have a bigger social circle than when you are in college unless you become a celebrity or a rich nightclub owner later in life.

There's this myth that "women don't go out with guys they don't know". Yeah, ask the chads on tinder about that or the dudes they met on springbreak! The number one way most couples meet is online dating, which are strangers. This idea that "women don't go out with guys they don't know" is a misleading lie women use to dissuade cold approaching because they don't like what they consider unattractive men hitting on them. Just Entitled princesses.

The reason many people "meet through friends" is pure easiness/laziness/convenience. If you're a good looking guy at say an 7/8, her friends will hook you up with their friend who is a 6. If falls in your lap. You don't have to put yourself out there and face rejection. Cold approaching is brutal out there and most men don't want to face it.

If you're below a 5 as a guy, the likelihood of you finding a hot chick or even average chick through social circle is insanely low. Out of 1000 women who are 7+ in looks, how many will have a odd sexual attraction to you if you are below a 5? Maybe a FEW. How are you going to get 1000+ women who are 7+ and single in your social circle? The numbers are simply not there for the vast majority of men. You need a ton of women to find one that has an ODD attraction to you if you're not that good looking. The better looking you are, the higher the number of women that will find you attractive out of the 1000 will be. That's how looks work. Cold approach gives you the numbers advantage.

I think really the best bet a man at 5 or below has to get a woman he's really attracted to is to do a cold approach and hope you get lucky. Our anti-male feminist society is really trying hard to repress men who are average or below by trying to take away the cold approach from us by making it a social stigma and even calling the police. The repression is real. And for great looking men, the cold approach opens up your world to a caliber and quality of women you could only dream of otherwise.

Also, I couldn't think of anything shadier and more underhanded than making friends with people mostly just in case they might know some women. Really beta, thirsty, and phony.

Finally, I think that people have a complete misunderstanding of how attraction works. This is of course from the Blue pill nonsense. And PUA's outright lying to men telling them stupid crap that looks don't matter and black pilling an entire swath of men and that you can make a woman attracted to you with fancy gimmicky crap. Now they falsely believe you can get a woman attracted to you by letting her "get to know you" through social circle. What does that sound like? It sounds like someone in the friendzone playing the long game. We know how that story ends.

The woman doesn't "need to get to know you" by being friends first in a social circle. In fact, this is what leads people to the friendzone. If she's attracted to you; the minute you say hello, she feels a spark. NOW is when "game" comes into play. She'll barely be able to control herself if the attraction is strong. I think some people who are really bad with women have never experienced this. It's why I don't think a woman is a ho when she gives it up quickly to you. She's called "easy". I call that compliance and you want it. Men make the mistake of going after women that have low interest in them and then run game on them by making them wait and having them think they're getting a prize meanwhile they give it up to other guys right away, just NOT YOU! You end up with a woman who doesn't have burning desire for you.

There's a lot of fake gurus shilling rubbish. They knock growing a pair and approaching by hiding behind club promoter. Say you club promoter Xs in Vegas. Say you have approach niche job and you pander to women. There's tons of these cucks online shilling rubbish. Say a footballer starting lineup for Man u saying how easy Game is.

The point of game, it's not because your a front line defender for the Rangers or starting QB for the Cowboys.

These social circle gurus usually are male feminists. They simp and pander. It's all optics but they aren't shooting their shot.

Chad or Tyrone up. Looks max. Shoot your shot.

 

[devilkingx2]

I've made my position on cold approach pretty clear which is not to spam approach.

But its funny cos you will notice literally no marriages or ltrs from cold approach in all the stats its not even a category. Weird.

Maybe women are really ashamed to admit it or it just very rarely leads to anything long term.

According to the statistics I've seen, cold approaching is the second most common way couples form in the modern day, online is the first. It's also one of the only two on an upward trend. In this case I'm referring to bar/restaurant as cold approaching.

I would also count coworkers dating as cold approaching depending on the circumstances. (If you've been working at the same office together for years obviously not; but if it's a retail place where the entire staff is replaced every 3 months then yes.)

But let's say you only count street daygame, here's another graph:




According to this dataset, meeting your partner while out and about is the third most common at 15%

 

[devilkingx2]

This comparison doesn't hold water. Firstly, the type of women who actually go on dates with guys from Tinder is a fraction of the women who make accounts on Tinder and that is a fraction of the female population. So basically you're comparing maybe 10% of females in 20-35 age range that go out with 'strangers' from Tinder and expect 100% of females being cold approached to go out? Secondly, with a 'stranger' from Tinder a woman had the chance to look at his pictures in the privacy of her home and on her time schedule, built some rapport over text/calling ... which is totally different from a stranger who just appears in front of her when she's at the mall or out on the street and asks for her number.


Cold approach signals low value no matter if the guy is 5 or 10...if he's 5 it screams desperation, if he's 10 it screams fvckboy. Best bet IMO once a man gets his shyt together is to put himself out there in situations/places he has a genuine interest in. Then just let the universe/God/luck whatever, do its thing and connect him with a woman ... if it doesn't happen, at least he enjoyed his time there doing what he likes doing anyway.

When I asked my female friends where I should go meet women after me and my ex broke up, like 50% of them said Tinder/Bumble/Hinge first and then Bars/Coffee Shops second. So OLD is the first thing on their mind when it comes to meeting people.

As for cold approaching signaling low value, I disagree because the reason most men don't approach women is because they're scared, not because they're too high value.

 

[pipeman84]

As for cold approaching signaling low value, I disagree because the reason most men don't approach women is because they're scared, not because they're too high value.

That scared feeling is their subconscious telling them it's not the right thing to do. Cold approach signals to any woman with at least 2 brain-cells that the man is low value because basically he's willing to engage with her based on nothing but her looks alone (and a very short time, 1-2min or less, to assess those).

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

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According to the statistics I've seen, cold approaching is the second most common way couples form in the modern day, online is the first. It's also one of the only two on an upward trend. In this case I'm referring to bar/restaurant as cold approaching.

I would also count coworkers dating as cold approaching depending on the circumstances. (If you've been working at the same office together for years obviously not; but if it's a retail place where the entire staff is replaced every 3 months then yes.)

But let's say you only count street daygame, here's another graph:

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According to this dataset, meeting your partner while out and about is the third most common at 15%

Beautiful post and insight.

Cold approaching at clubs/bars are still cold approaching, although I do not view it in the same regard as I do for day game.

Guys suddenly become alpha lions when they are intoxicated, but are afraid puzzy cats when it comes to going beyond that element....so I view club/bar approaches as lower tier.

Like you said, depending on the circumstances, work environments are indeed warm approaches.

Again, great post.