Social circle vs Cold approach( Post college Age )

[Don of the north]

I've made my position on cold approach pretty clear which is not to spam approach.

But its funny cos you will notice literally no marriages or ltrs from cold approach in all the stats its not even a category. Weird.

Maybe women are really ashamed to admit it or it just very rarely leads to anything long term.

It's 2022. Due to feminism, men aren't cold approaching in the daytime. Just look at that absurd gillete ad. We've been shamed against doing it. I know personally of marriages that resulted from cold approach, but they met before online dating was a thing.

 

[Don of the north]

Where did I say to kiss people's ass or be an inauthentic person just to connect with women? I said a guy should get his shyt together and follow his passions/interests and he'll get to meet women. And even if he doesn't for a while, nothing lost, because he's doing something he enjoys anyways. This also means that the very rare guy who finds cold approaching a pleasant thing to do should go ahead and keep doing it.

You didn't. Other people have chimed in saying you need to build a sphere of influential friends and all this stuff. This isn't just making a few friends. Again, if you're only making a few authentic friends, the social circle will be small and make it difficult to find someone from it. If you do, then that's great. But ruling out cold approach and relying on on a tiny social circle is not the best imo.
Kavi Had said
"This is not the same as the 5 loser friends and a flat social heirarchy most men hang around with.

To clarify and answer @Zimbabwe question, this is a complex social group that requires a bit of work and knowledge to build up.
I am building such a social group and 'worker men' who dont understand this whether CEO, MD or whatever, they are just there to be tricks in my Game. All their money is just there for the woman to bring into my group. Just like a trick gives his money to a hoe who gives it to her pimp.
"

What he's describing is serious work and not what you're saying about following passions and getting a few close friends ect. Oh and what if you're middle age and you want to date women in their 20s?

 

[pipeman84]

Oh and what if you're middle age and you want to date women in their 20s?

One can meet them say at the gym, in the local park while walking the dog. Whatever hobbies and activities the guy has...maybe the daughter or her friends of some guy he met through his social circle. The creepiness factor is through the roof when a 50yrs old cold approaches women in their 20s.

 

[Don of the north]

Yeah man, totally agree with the above. But can't you understand that a woman who took the time to make an account on Tinder, looked at then swiped on your profile then exchanged a few messages/had a short videocall is in a totally different place compared to a woman minding her own business at the mall or on the street and being approached by a stranger?

You're listening to woman's feminist B.S. If she's not interested, she can say no thank you. It's simple. Stop pedestalizing them. She's an adult and you are allowed to make a pass at her anywhere once.

The egotistical nature of the modern woman is out of control. Imagine being so stuck up that you can't stop complaining about a stranger giving you a respectful compliment and asking for your number? WOW. We need to shut this nonsense down. And all this stuff about a stranger asking them out while they're busy goes out the window for most women if she thinks he's hot and she's single. Let's get real. Single women are desperate to find a handsome man to get in a relationship with. They will LOVE it if they think you're handsome. These dumb women don't even realize that they are hurting their own chances at finding a man just to avoid being approached by men they think are unworthy. Because even the good lookings one will be afraid to approach now. Be careful what you wish for ladies. Feminism has killed chivalry and now it's killing dating.

If some overweight chick asks me out, I'd be a decent human and be nice about it. Because I'm a decent human being who has empathy for a females feelings. The modern woman seems to have no empathy for men and her ego is boosted into the stratosophere. We need to "man up", while they are told they DESERVE a 10 and are queens.

 

[Don of the north]

One can meet them say at the gym, in the local park while walking the dog. Whatever hobbies and activities the guy has...maybe the daughter or her friends of some guy he met through his social circle. The creepiness factor is through the roof when a 50yrs old cold approaches women in their 20s.

What's creepy about it? FACTS before FEELINGS. They are both consenting adults. Again listening to the modern feminsts woman and their nonsense.
If I'm 20 and a 50 y/o woman approaches me, I'd just laugh about it and let her down easy because I'm not into older women. Some women are into older men. Just ask george clooney and he's in his 60s. You don't know till you ask. And men age much better than woman. What's the big deal?

The way things are going the age of consent will be raised to 26 or 30 and cold approach will be outlawed(unconstitutional of course due to free speech, but they'll try/harrasment laws). This is where this is going to lead us.

Women do nothing but complain about being approached at the gym, don't you know that? Stop listening to women. If they think you're hot, they'll like when you approach regardless of where it is.

 

[Divorced w 3]

How do you even plan to create a social circle outside of college?

Perhaps professional relationships ?

 

[pipeman84]

What's creepy about it? FACTS before FEELINGS. They are both consenting adults. Again listening to the modern feminsts woman and their nonsense.

Man, you're acting as if you're an ET and just learning about how life on earth works.

And all this stuff about a stranger asking them out while they're busy goes out the window for most women if she thinks he's hot and she's single. Single women are desperate to find a handsome man to get in a relationship with. They will LOVE it if they think you're handsome. These dumb women don't even realize that they are hurting their own chances at finding a man just to avoid being approached by men they think are unworthy.

If they're single and desperate to be in a relationship, they give out IOIs ... so they're being warm approached. Therefore, the odds of her being receptive to a stranger cold approaching her in a setting where she's not thinking about 'relationship stuff' are very low.

 

[Don of the north]

Man, you're acting as if you're an ET and just learning about how life on earth works.


If they're single and desperate to be in a relationship, they give out IOIs ... so they're being warm approached. Therefore, the odds of her being receptive to a stranger cold approaching her in a setting where she's not thinking about 'relationship stuff' are very low.

I'm not ET. I just use logic and I have my own brain. I'm not a sheep that simply conforms and I have a backbone. A 20 something can't figure out how to say no to a coffee date from a man in his 50s in broad daylight or in a mall? She's either a consenting adult or not. Women are not children or mentally handicapped. I could care less if he's in his 90s hitting on a 18-22 year old college chicks at a college campus, although I'd pay to see that scene! Go grandpa! LOL

Is this really where we are? Time for men to stand up against this repression. This is straight up sexual repression. I can't believe men haven't stood up against all this shaming crap yet.

I don't agree about IOI's. You'll miss them most of the time especially if its' in passing. IOI's are useful in the workplace or where you'll continually be seeing someone like at church. They're pretty much useless unless you look lie a male greek god and then you can miss a bunch, but still capitalize on the one's you see. Women simply aren't hardwired to approach men regardless of what feminist crap like bumble tells you. It's not in their nature. This society seems hell bent on turning women into men and men into women.

 

[BoostedArrow]

I think social circle game is more for younger people, where you immediately form sort of a hierarchy with the "cool kids" at the top and the lesser cool or nerdy kids at the bottom. For girls this is convenient, since they can more easily filter out the alphas aka the cool guy.

I'd say social circle game is useful, when you're a) popular and b) people like you enough so that they introduce you to other people, which also introduce you to others and so on creating a self-perpetuating machine that 'produces' you new options automatically. (That's what I observed)

In cold approaching you don't have that, only the perception you give out, so it's not about how other people view you.

Later in life women are more desperate. I met a 27 year old girl in a club, that went alone and talked to guys. Through her insta posts I figured out, that she must be quite lonely and in want of a boyfriend. (which is quite sad tbh. and I don't think she's crazy btw.) So cold approaching might work on women that are older and not in relationships.

 

[2Rocky]

I don't agree about IOI's. You'll miss them most of the time especially if its' in passing. IOI's are useful in the workplace or where you'll continually be seeing someone like at church. They're pretty much useless unless you look lie a male greek god and then you can miss a bunch, but still capitalize on the one's you see. Women simply aren't hardwired to approach men regardless of what feminist crap like bumble tells you. It's not in their nature. This society seems hell bent on turning women into men and men into women.

You have to miss a few before you get good at seeing them. I'm no Greek God, Not even a God of War (but I play one) . But through my interactions WITH my Social circle, I DO get approached by women BECAUSE I demonstrate my approachability and invite it through eye contact, smiles and sincere greetings.
When women open you it is an approach invitation and you have to strike while the iron is hot. You miss that window and it expires. You still have to lead and a strong woman will not tolerate a weak leader.

 

[mikedee]

Cold approach signals low value no matter if the guy is 5 or 10...

Junk, it's the opposite actually.
If only you would see the girls I got laid with through cold approach... You probably never dated such hot girls and probably never will.

 

[SW15]

I agree that most people's social circles shrink after college, but think that otherwise this is a very black and white way you are putting this. When we talk about "social proof," job and money are strong elements of that but are definitely not all there is to it. You are overstating the importance of job/money. The MD hypothetical you reference - if he has one friend and no game at all is not going to trump the bartender who has a huge social circle and tight game. The MD may attract a gold digger perhaps, but this is not the same as being truly attractive to women. More he is just prone to attract the wrong type of woman.

Women want a man with social proof. They want one who is able to sway others and has a sphere of influence. It is not so much about "how many friends he has" as it is about how much power he has to influence others. This is an attractive quality to women. Money can certainly be a part of that equation, but it isn't the end all be all. The more people a man knows and knows well, the more he can sway people even if it is just through friendship. Hence why a bartender who is completely equal to an MD in all things except money and friends is likely going to be perceived as higher value. The MD will be seen as a loner without a connection to others (aka no social proof) which, contrary to romanticized movies, is generally not an attractive quality to women.

This is good analysis. In the hypothetical situation, the bartender will have a more active sex life than the doctor. The doctor's best chance in that situation is a woman with a fetish for doctors. That may also be a gold digger too.

.Most guys are having trouble getting women in college. Most people will never have a bigger social circle than when you are in college unless you become a celebrity or a rich nightclub owner later in life.

The first post of the thread below is what you want to read if you want to know about college sex life, especially at large public universities with a big party scene. A lot of this thread is a good read.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

There's this myth that "women don't go out with guys they don't know". Yeah, ask the chads on tinder about that or the dudes they met on springbreak! The number one way most couples meet is online dating, which are strangers. This idea that "women don't go out with guys they don't know" is a misleading lie women use to dissuade cold approaching because they don't like what they consider unattractive men hitting on them. Just Entitled princesses.

Most of the guys getting laid at Spring Break or typical college parties are top tier guys.

The reason many people "meet through friends" is pure easiness/laziness/convenience. If you're a good looking guy at say an 7/8, her friends will hook you up with their friend who is a 6. If falls in your lap. You don't have to put yourself out there and face rejection. Cold approaching is brutal out there and most men don't want to face it.

This is a good deal for those guys.

I think that people have a complete misunderstanding of how attraction works. This is of course from the Blue pill nonsense.

Yes, the blue pill is misguided.

The woman doesn't "need to get to know you" by being friends first in a social circle. In fact, this is what leads people to the friendzone. If she's attracted to you; the minute you say hello, she feels a spark. NOW is when "game" comes into play. She'll barely be able to control herself if the attraction is strong.

Agree. The social circle path is best for the maybes. On swipe apps and in cold approaching, the maybes tend to get overlooked more.

Beta males with social circles that have decent looks + a decent office job/some money tend to be these maybes that are able to realize gains from social circles.

 

[BadWatermelon]

If some overweight chick asks me out, I'd be a decent human and be nice about it. Because I'm a decent human being who has empathy for a females feelings. The modern woman seems to have no empathy for men and her ego is boosted into the stratosophere. We need to "man up", while they are told they DESERVE a 10 and are queens.

I've said this before, but the worst responses I've received have been from less attractive women.

 

[SW15]

I agree that most people's social circles shrink after college,

Even though that subject is in the title, it isn't referenced directly in the opening post.

A lot of times, people don't stay in the same city/metro area as where they attended college. They take a job in a new city where they didn't spend a part of their childhood and didn't go to college. In those cases, you're a 22-24 year old in a city where you lack any social ties to that region. In those cases, you're going to have to make a new set of friends in this city where you lack social ties. You're going to be making friends with other transplanted adults with generally weaker social circles. I covered this topic in the "Observations on Dallas' Scene" thread. Excerpt from that below.....

"Getting into one of the social circles with Dallas natives with strong roots isn't that easy to do. It's a lot like getting into a top fraternity at a university. Most transplanted adults to Dallas won't get into those or they will be on the fringes of them. Additionally, a lot of the Dallas natives who go to local high schools, then possibly go to some unversity within Texas (maybe even Southern Methodist or Texan Christian locally) and then settle in Dallas as adults tend to get married earlier in life, settle into the suburbs, and have children. Some of those people might be your co-workers but you won't be spending your leisure time with them."

In the parts where I used geographically specific references to Dallas and/or Texas, substitute your own locality and the point still makes sense.

If you arrive in a new city post college and are still close to the age of recent graduates (up until your 30th birthday), you can still find people in your life situation pretty easily. Let's say you're a 32-36 year old unattached man moving to a new city where you lack social ties to the region. Do you think you're finding friends/a social circle easily? No. That guy is going to have to rely exclusively on some combination of swipe apps, social media DMs, or approaching strangers. The under-30 unattached guy arriving in a new city where he lacks social ties has a fighting chance of creating a post-college social circle, but it will be weaker than if he had pre-college graduation ties to that city/region. Many of the guys referenced in the previous sentence will become reliant upon swipe apps, social media DMs, and stranger approaches as well, even with that fighting chance of social circle creation.

Also, it's important to be aware of the medium to longer term (3+ years in a city). The problem with social circles becomes sustainability. Social circles have a way of getting pissed off at men who continually exchange girlfriends without marriage or babies, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years). After 2 or so instances of medium term relationships, the social circle will run dry. Social circle is not likely ideal for serial monogamist who does have extended relationships but doesn't commit in a legal sense or the player type who tends to have relationships of less than 1 year.

 

[pipeman84]

A 20 something can't figure out how to say no to a coffee date from a man in his 50s in broad daylight or in a mall? She's either a consenting adult or not.

Yes she can and she will in 99.5% of the cases. And if the man in his 50s or 40s or 30s for that matter does this enough times he'll get the reputation of a creepy weird guy in that area/town.

It's also a matter of preferences: you might like to get 1 number from a girl who gave it to you because she was too polite/shy and thought this was the quickest way to get rid of you so she can go on with her day. And for that number you go through 9 rejections out of which a few may be rude. Then get flaked on that one coffee date or if it goes through, realize that she really isn't what you imagined her to be during those 1-2 minutes you had the chance of observing her before approaching.
I and many others don't find that an enjoyable way of spending our time.

 

[kavi]

Even though that subject is in the title, it isn't referenced directly in the opening post.

A lot of times, people don't stay in the same city/metro area as where they attended college. They take a job in a new city where they didn't spend a part of their childhood and didn't go to college. In those cases, you're a 22-24 year old in a city where you lack any social ties to that region. In those cases, you're going to have to make a new set of friends in this city where you lack social ties. You're going to be making friends with other transplanted adults with generally weaker social circles. I covered this topic in the "Observations on Dallas' Scene" thread. Excerpt from that below.....

"Getting into one of the social circles with Dallas natives with strong roots isn't that easy to do. It's a lot like getting into a top fraternity at a university. Most transplanted adults to Dallas won't get into those or they will be on the fringes of them. Additionally, a lot of the Dallas natives who go to local high schools, then possibly go to some unversity within Texas (maybe even Southern Methodist or Texan Christian locally) and then settle in Dallas as adults tend to get married earlier in life, settle into the suburbs, and have children. Some of those people might be your co-workers but you won't be spending your leisure time with them."

In the parts where I used geographically specific references to Dallas and/or Texas, substitute your own locality and the point still makes sense.

If you arrive in a new city post college and are still close to the age of recent graduates (up until your 30th birthday), you can still find people in your life situation pretty easily. Let's say you're a 32-36 year old unattached man moving to a new city where you lack social ties to the region. Do you think you're finding friends/a social circle easily? No. That guy is going to have to rely exclusively on some combination of swipe apps, social media DMs, or approaching strangers. The under-30 unattached guy arriving in a new city where he lacks social ties has a fighting chance of creating a post-college social circle, but it will be weaker than if he had pre-college graduation ties to that city/region. Many of the guys referenced in the previous sentence will become reliant upon swipe apps, social media DMs, and stranger approaches as well, even with that fighting chance of social circle creation.

Also, it's important to be aware of the medium to longer term (3+ years in a city). The problem with social circles becomes sustainability. Social circles have a way of getting pissed off at men who continually exchange girlfriends without marriage or babies, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years). After 2 or so instances of medium term relationships, the social circle will run dry. Social circle is not likely ideal for serial monogamist who does have extended relationships but doesn't commit in a legal sense or the player type who tends to have relationships of less than 1 year.

The problem is that men are incapable of creating social circles that benefit women and pull them in.

If a guy can do that then the circle and women may not have problems with serial monogamists or even polygamy becuase the social circle the man created or added value to benefits the woman and other men and the relationships are a choice on both sides.

But men are USING (and hurting) social circles because they just want to get the girl FROM the social circle but they dont care about the social circle.

At the end of the day community/social circle is the bedrock of relationships and life in general.

Most men are simply joining social circles, sports clubs for pssy rather than using Game to nourish the social group with more women.

You dont need a social circle to get women, you need one to put a woman into.

You need a social circle so when you cold approach you have a better proposition than coffee/dinner/sex.

Men need understand this and put the work in.

I am involved in such a circle and I have done a lot to draw women into it via GAME. It seems to be working well but most ppl esp the girls are uprooted adults from other countries who have moved to London.

Hopefully in the coming year i can take this to the next level.

I run Game on a chick. Instead of taking her out and running after her/chasing I simply put her into the group where she meets other guys and girls and makes friendships etc. Then she is always there and i dont have to worry about losing her or spending too much one2one time. She can't really play me or make drama or have power over me.

A woman can easily play and make drama or issues with ONE GUY. But when you make your relationship with her VIA a social group then she is just one girl in a group with multiple men and women so she cannot have the same power. Your status in her eyes in your Game level AND status according to the group that she values.

 

[kavi]

Yes she can and she will in 99.5% of the cases. And if the man in his 50s or 40s or 30s for that matter does this enough times he'll get the reputation of a creepy weird guy in that area/town.

It's also a matter of preferences: you might like to get 1 number from a girl who gave it to you because she was too polite/shy and thought this was the quickest way to get rid of you so she can go on with her day. And for that number you go through 9 rejections out of which a few may be rude. Then get flaked on that one coffee date or if it goes through, realize that she really isn't what you imagined her to be during those 1-2 minutes you had the chance of observing her before approaching.
I and many others don't find that an enjoyable way of spending our time.

These ppl dont understand.

Imagine if a guy was a model scout working for Vogue. Approaches a hot girl.

"Hi. I work for Vogue and I think you could be a model for us. If this is something you may be interested in ..."

Vs average guy cold approach

"Hi. I think your hot. Would you like to have coffee/dinner/sex with me"

Her: "No. F off loser"

"Ok bye. Nice talking to you have a good day"

Hence the cold approach thing is kinda stupid. No woman is calling the police on any guy who brings value.

Men just dont understand that they are bringing 0 value when mass cold approaching randoms just because they get that 1 girl in 100 approachea who is so desperate and lonely she just wants some D and may give you some due to you making the first move.

For men with value rejection is worse than acceptance.

High value men: 100 positive interactions = 1 negative.

Low value men: 100 negative = 1 positive.

This is because a low value guy is used to rejection and humiliation in life so that one win makes him feel good. A high value guy already feels good hence doesnt risk humiliation for a positive reactiom which for him has no value because it is the norm in his life.

 

[Don of the north]

b

Yes she can and she will in 99.5% of the cases. And if the man in his 50s or 40s or 30s for that matter does this enough times he'll get the reputation of a creepy weird guy in that area/town.

It's also a matter of preferences: you might like to get 1 number from a girl who gave it to you because she was too polite/shy and thought this was the quickest way to get rid of you so she can go on with her day. And for that number you go through 9 rejections out of which a few may be rude. Then get flaked on that one coffee date or if it goes through, realize that she really isn't what you imagined her to be during those 1-2 minutes you had the chance of observing her before approaching.
I and many others don't find that an enjoyable way of spending our time.

You might get one number? None of this is true if you're good looking. You'll get a lot. No higher demonstration of your true smv than cold approach. The lower your looks, the higher the rejection rate. Simple.

I understand you don't find it enjoyable. If you're not a great looking guy, you're going to get rejected a ton doing this just like on tinder, but now it's personal and up in your face. No one is forcing you to cold approach or judging you for not doing it.

In smaller towns, yes you can get a "creepy" label just for saying hi regardless of age. It's anti-male feminism at work. In cities, it's simply not going to happen.

Finally, if a woman is willing to leave me or not be with me just because I don't have a large social circle, I'd say don't let the door hit you on the way out. If I'm not enough, peace out.

And I got way more than one number. lol. A 99,5 percent rejection rate means you have to do 100 approaches to get one number. No one is going to do that and will just quit.

I'm done with cold approaching anyway. The police get called nowadays just for saying hi to a woman. Check out that thread. You need to be in a large city with a lot of crime like nyc so the cops won't be bothered with it. This is a seriously sad state of society. Cold approach being taken away from men takes away a ton of options. Keep caving to women and all their anti-male demands. They're the "boss" after all. See how that works out.

 

[DreamAgain]

There seems to be this line of thinking that women are more likely to date you if they are in your social circle so you should concentrate on social circle game. I couldn't disagree more.

The 80/20 rule applies whether it's college, social circle, or Tinder.

Most guys are having trouble getting women in college. Most people will never have a bigger social circle than when you are in college unless you become a celebrity or a rich nightclub owner later in life.

There's this myth that "women don't go out with guys they don't know". Yeah, ask the chads on tinder about that or the dudes they met on springbreak! The number one way most couples meet is online dating, which are strangers. This idea that "women don't go out with guys they don't know" is a misleading lie women use to dissuade cold approaching because they don't like what they consider unattractive men hitting on them. Just Entitled princesses.

The reason many people "meet through friends" is pure easiness/laziness/convenience. If you're a good looking guy at say an 7/8, her friends will hook you up with their friend who is a 6. If falls in your lap. You don't have to put yourself out there and face rejection. Cold approaching is brutal out there and most men don't want to face it.

If you're below a 5 as a guy, the likelihood of you finding a hot chick or even average chick through social circle is insanely low. Out of 1000 women who are 7+ in looks, how many will have a odd sexual attraction to you if you are below a 5? Maybe a FEW. How are you going to get 1000+ women who are 7+ and single in your social circle? The numbers are simply not there for the vast majority of men. You need a ton of women to find one that has an ODD attraction to you if you're not that good looking. The better looking you are, the higher the number of women that will find you attractive out of the 1000 will be. That's how looks work. Cold approach gives you the numbers advantage.

I think really the best bet a man at 5 or below has to get a woman he's really attracted to is to do a cold approach and hope you get lucky. Our anti-male feminist society is really trying hard to repress men who are average or below by trying to take away the cold approach from us by making it a social stigma and even calling the police. The repression is real. And for great looking men, the cold approach opens up your world to a caliber and quality of women you could only dream of otherwise.

Also, I couldn't think of anything shadier and more underhanded than making friends with people mostly just in case they might know some women. Really beta, thirsty, and phony.

Finally, I think that people have a complete misunderstanding of how attraction works. This is of course from the Blue pill nonsense. And PUA's outright lying to men telling them stupid crap that looks don't matter and black pilling an entire swath of men and that you can make a woman attracted to you with fancy gimmicky crap. Now they falsely believe you can get a woman attracted to you by letting her "get to know you" through social circle. What does that sound like? It sounds like someone in the friendzone playing the long game. We know how that story ends.

The woman doesn't "need to get to know you" by being friends first in a social circle. In fact, this is what leads people to the friendzone. If she's attracted to you; the minute you say hello, she feels a spark. NOW is when "game" comes into play. She'll barely be able to control herself if the attraction is strong. I think some people who are really bad with women have never experienced this. It's why I don't think a woman is a ho when she gives it up quickly to you. She's called "easy". I call that compliance and you want it. Men make the mistake of going after women that have low interest in them and then run game on them by making them wait and having them think they're getting a prize meanwhile they give it up to other guys right away, just NOT YOU! You end up with a woman who doesn't have burning desire for you.

You are wrong. A man who has subpar looks definitely needs to focus on social circle game, because he will be brutally demoralized "in the wild" by cold approaching.

I have seen many examples of social circle game work, playing the long game, of guys with subpar looks.

If you are above average in looks, social circle game will likely net you an outcome that is worse than what you could pull by cold approaching, so it is a sub-optimal decision.

Now, you may argue that the subpar looks guys just need to "improve" and they can reach the next tier, but black pill theory says that your looks improvement journey has a glass ceiling and I would largely agree with that.

 

[Don of the north]

You are wrong. A man who has subpar looks definitely needs to focus on social circle game, because he will be brutally demoralized "in the wild" by cold approaching.
Now, you may argue that the subpar looks guys just need to "improve" and they can reach the next tier, but black pill theory says that your looks improvement journey has a glass ceiling and I would largely agree with that.

He will only be brutally demoralized because men caved to feminism and there is now a stigma with cold approaching and some women will be nasty as hell for no reason and even call the cops. You will be shamed for no reason. Our society is messed up. If she simply says, I'm flattered, but no thanks then that's not a really bad rejection. The hottest women are generally the nicest. Go figure. What's the big deal? If you try a ton of approaches and it doesn't work, then at least you tried and then you can try other methods, which may or may not work. Most adult men don't have a large social circle. That's just reality.

I don't think there's much in the way you can do to improve your looks unless you're obese. You can't work out your face at the gym. And putting on clean clothes and a haircut is just common sense. If only it were that easy! Life is unfair unfortunately and some people aren't gifted with good looks. Shaming a man who's not the best looking just for shooting his shot and saying to a woman "hello" is quite frankly disgusting. Our culture is wacked. Maybe it's better in other countries?