Social circle vs Cold approach( Post college Age )

[Don of the north]

There seems to be this line of thinking that women are more likely to date you if they are in your social circle so you should concentrate on social circle game. I couldn't disagree more.

The 80/20 rule applies whether it's college, social circle, or Tinder.

Most guys are having trouble getting women in college. Most people will never have a bigger social circle than when you are in college unless you become a celebrity or a rich nightclub owner later in life.

There's this myth that "women don't go out with guys they don't know". Yeah, ask the chads on tinder about that or the dudes they met on springbreak! The number one way most couples meet is online dating, which are strangers. This idea that "women don't go out with guys they don't know" is a misleading lie women use to dissuade cold approaching because they don't like what they consider unattractive men hitting on them. Just Entitled princesses.

The reason many people "meet through friends" is pure easiness/laziness/convenience. If you're a good looking guy at say an 7/8, her friends will hook you up with their friend who is a 6. If falls in your lap. You don't have to put yourself out there and face rejection. Cold approaching is brutal out there and most men don't want to face it.

If you're below a 5 as a guy, the likelihood of you finding a hot chick or even average chick through social circle is insanely low. Out of 1000 women who are 7+ in looks, how many will have a odd sexual attraction to you if you are below a 5? Maybe a FEW. How are you going to get 1000+ women who are 7+ and single in your social circle? The numbers are simply not there for the vast majority of men. You need a ton of women to find one that has an ODD attraction to you if you're not that good looking. The better looking you are, the higher the number of women that will find you attractive out of the 1000 will be. That's how looks work. Cold approach gives you the numbers advantage.

I think really the best bet a man at 5 or below has to get a woman he's really attracted to is to do a cold approach and hope you get lucky. Our anti-male feminist society is really trying hard to repress men who are average or below by trying to take away the cold approach from us by making it a social stigma and even calling the police. The repression is real. And for great looking men, the cold approach opens up your world to a caliber and quality of women you could only dream of otherwise.

Also, I couldn't think of anything shadier and more underhanded than making friends with people mostly just in case they might know some women. Really beta, thirsty, and phony.

Finally, I think that people have a complete misunderstanding of how attraction works. This is of course from the Blue pill nonsense. And PUA's outright lying to men telling them stupid crap that looks don't matter and black pilling an entire swath of men and that you can make a woman attracted to you with fancy gimmicky crap. Now they falsely believe you can get a woman attracted to you by letting her "get to know you" through social circle. What does that sound like? It sounds like someone in the friendzone playing the long game. We know how that story ends.

The woman doesn't "need to get to know you" by being friends first in a social circle. In fact, this is what leads people to the friendzone. If she's attracted to you; the minute you say hello, she feels a spark. NOW is when "game" comes into play. She'll barely be able to control herself if the attraction is strong. I think some people who are really bad with women have never experienced this. It's why I don't think a woman is a ho when she gives it up quickly to you. She's called "easy". I call that compliance and you want it. Men make the mistake of going after women that have low interest in them and then run game on them by making them wait and having them think they're getting a prize meanwhile they give it up to other guys right away, just NOT YOU! You end up with a woman who doesn't have burning desire for you.

 

[Stanley]

 

[Zimbabwe]

How do you even plan to create a social circle outside of college?

 

[kavi]

You cannot usurp social status by cold approaching.

The highest Smv man has a social group that he can place a woman into.

@Zimbabwe you work with other men of higher and lower smv to build a social group that benefits women.

The social group benefits women. The highest smv guys create and run the group pulling in the highest quality women and men and holding the group together.

Lower smv males ally with the higher value males and bring value to the group.

When a lower smv man meets a women he brings her into the group. The women will respect the group and esp the higher smv men who lead it and women who the girl can be friends with.

The lower smv guy who brought the new women into the group will be shown respect by the leaders and rest of the group thereby enhancing his status in her eyes. The women values the social circle and he brought her in. The higher smv guys out of respect will not make moves on that girl and so not compete with him for her as they have their own girls.

 

[mikedee]

You cannot usurp social status by cold approaching.

The highest Smv man has a social group that he can place a woman into.

@Zimbabwe you work with other men of higher and lower smv to build a social group that benefits women.

The social group benefits women. The highest smv guys create and run the group pulling in the highest quality women and men and holding the group together.

Lower smv males ally with the higher value males and bring value to the group.

When a lower smv man meets a women he brings her into the group. The women will respect the group and esp the higher smv men who lead it and women who the girl can be friends with.

The lower smv guy who brought the new women into the group will be shown respect by the leaders and rest of the group thereby enhancing his status in her eyes. The women values the social circle and he brought her in. The higher smv guys out of respect will not make moves on that girl and so not compete with him for her as they have their own girls.

not really

 

[Don of the north]

You cannot usurp social status by cold approaching.

The highest Smv man has a social group that he can place a woman into.

@Zimbabwe you work with other men of higher and lower smv to build a social group that benefits women.

The social group benefits women. The highest smv guys create and run the group pulling in the highest quality women and men and holding the group together.

Lower smv males ally with the higher value males and bring value to the group.

When a lower smv man meets a women he brings her into the group. The women will respect the group and esp the higher smv men who lead it and women who the girl can be friends with.

The lower smv guy who brought the new women into the group will be shown respect by the leaders and rest of the group thereby enhancing his status in her eyes. The women values the social circle and he brought her in. The higher smv guys out of respect will not make moves on that girl and so not compete with him for her as they have their own girls.

Sorry, but your status in adulthood is determined by your Job and the amount of money you make, not your social group. This isn't high school where status is determined by the amount of friends you have.

Everything else being equal looks wise, A bartender who has a ton of friends will have lower status in the eyes of woman than an MD with one friend and no social circle. Every single time.

The only time status will pull off miracles for you is if you're in a microcosm like HS or college and are the quarterback for the football team and are treated like a god by everyone in the school. Or you become a celebrity/rockstar. You could be the ugliest most unattractive man in the world, but if you're in the rolling stones you're getting women. No woman cares deeply about your social circle friend group as an adult.

Also, Having a high status job like an doctor helps, but it won't pull off miracles. It gives you a bump up in smv for sure, but I know plenty of md's that still struggle with women because their looks were so low to begin with. If you're a 7 in looks and get an md, that will bump you to 9/10 and you'll be slaying. But if you are a 2 or 3 in looks, then you'll likely still struggle

 

[Velasco]

Everything else being equal looks wise, A bartender who has a ton of friends will have lower status in the eyes of woman than an MD with one friend and no social circle. Every single time.

Lmao

 

[kavi]

Sorry, but your status in adulthood is determined by your Job and the amount of money you make, not your social group. This isn't high school where status is determined by the amount of friends you have.

Everything else being equal looks wise, A bartender who has a ton of friends will have lower status in the eyes of woman than an MD with one friend and no social circle. Every single time.

The only time status will pull off miracles for you is if you're in a microcosm like HS or college and are the quarterback for the football team and are treated like a god by everyone in the school. Or you become a celebrity/rockstar. You could be the ugliest most unattractive man in the world, but if you're in the rolling stones you're getting women. No woman cares deeply about your social circle friend group as an adult.

Also, Having a high status job like an doctor helps, but it won't pull off miracles. It gives you a bump up in smv for sure, but I know plenty of md's that still struggle with women because their looks were so low to begin with. If you're a 7 in looks and get an md, that will bump you to 9/10 and you'll be slaying. But if you are a 2 or 3 in looks, then you'll likely still struggle

Im sorry your clueless.

Being High Status in, or just having access to a VALUEABLE social group trumps almost every form of Game there is.

You think women want to just go home everyday with their MD husband and not have any social life, support group, networking etc.

I am building such a social group and 'worker men' who dont understand this whether CEO, MD or whatever, they are just there to be tricks in my Game. All their money is just there for the woman to bring into my group. Just like a trick gives his money to a hoe who gives it to her pimp.

I have a social group and Game, another guy has a good job, for 90% of women who socially deprived I will simply dominate over the guy with the job and money. But the social group is not easy to make.

Do you not see that women are just takng money and resources from rich working men and spreading it around to their social group, social and political 'causes'. Then whoever is running that group is above whichever money/work guy is providing those resources. Example Bill Gate's wife using all his money to further her own social, political, charity causes. I build that group that helps her achieve that then Bill Gates is just a trick in my pimp Game.

 

[kavi]

I am not talking about a 'friend group' lol.

I am talking about a social circle that brings value to women. The most important aspect of that is fostering strong connections with other similar women. Also, access to high smv guys even if they are not romantically involved with her.

This is not the same as the 5 loser friends and a flat social heirarchy most men hang around with.

To clarify and answer @Zimbabwe question, this is a complex social group that requires a bit of work and knowledge to build up. You need to work with high smv (Game, not money/job) to attract quality ppl and maintain the group. Then when that core is created and stable, everyone benefits from more ppl joining. Average men in the group can cold-approach and bring girls into the group where the girls get to meet other girls and then that group becomes central to their social life and they can lose you but not the group so by allying with the leaders a man can be granted exclusive Game access to that woman without competion from the top guys.

 

[Barrister]

Sorry, but your status in adulthood is determined by your Job and the amount of money you make, not your social group. This isn't high school where status is determined by the amount of friends you have.

Everything else being equal looks wise, A bartender who has a ton of friends will have lower status in the eyes of woman than an MD with one friend and no social circle. Every single time.

The only time status will pull off miracles for you is if you're in a microcosm like HS or college and are the quarterback for the football team and are treated like a god by everyone in the school. Or you become a celebrity/rockstar. You could be the ugliest most unattractive man in the world, but if you're in the rolling stones you're getting women. No woman cares deeply about your social circle friend group as an adult.

Also, Having a high status job like an doctor helps, but it won't pull off miracles. It gives you a bump up in smv for sure, but I know plenty of md's that still struggle with women because their looks were so low to begin with. If you're a 7 in looks and get an md, that will bump you to 9/10 and you'll be slaying. But if you are a 2 or 3 in looks, then you'll likely still struggle

I agree that most people's social circles shrink after college, but think that otherwise this is a very black and white way you are putting this. When we talk about "social proof," job and money are strong elements of that but are definitely not all there is to it. You are overstating the importance of job/money. The MD hypothetical you reference - if he has one friend and no game at all is not going to trump the bartender who has a huge social circle and tight game. The MD may attract a gold digger perhaps, but this is not the same as being truly attractive to women. More he is just prone to attract the wrong type of woman.

Women want a man with social proof. They want one who is able to sway others and has a sphere of influence. It is not so much about "how many friends he has" as it is about how much power he has to influence others. This is an attractive quality to women. Money can certainly be a part of that equation, but it isn't the end all be all. The more people a man knows and knows well, the more he can sway people even if it is just through friendship. Hence why a bartender who is completely equal to an MD in all things except money and friends is likely going to be perceived as higher value. The MD will be seen as a loner without a connection to others (aka no social proof) which, contrary to romanticized movies, is generally not an attractive quality to women.

 

[Don of the north]

I am not talking about a 'friend group' lol.

I am talking about a social circle that brings value to women. The most important aspect of that is fostering strong connections with other similar women. Also, access to high smv guys even if they are not romantically involved with her.

This is not the same as the 5 loser friends and a flat social heirarchy most men hang around with.

To clarify and answer @Zimbabwe question, this is a complex social group that requires a bit of work and knowledge to build up. You need to work with high smv (Game, not money/job) to attract quality ppl and maintain the group. Then when that core is created and stable, everyone benefits from more ppl joining. Average men in the group can cold-approach and bring girls into the group where the girls get to meet other girls and then that group becomes central to their social life and they can lose you but not the group so by allying with the leaders a man can be granted exclusive Game access to that woman without competion from the top guys.

Yeah I'm sure chad does all of this before he emails a woman he just matched with at 2am "wahtch ya doin, wanna come over....and bring some food!" LOL

I've had a few g/fs. I never needed any of that. They are either into you or not. If you need some kind of strange dynamic like this just to get/keep a girl, find a new woman!

 

[Don of the north]

Hence why a bartender who is completely equal to an MD in all things except money and friends is likely going to be perceived as higher value.

I can't believe someone would actually believe that. No offense to bartenders, but I'm just keeping it real. lol

 

[Barrister]

I can't believe someone would actually believe that. No offense to bartenders, but I'm just keeping it real. lol

It is really not a difficult conclusion to make at all given the very black and white scenario you presented. But you believe what you want to believe.

 

[Don of the north]

Women want a man with social proof.

I've seen plenty of men with no "social proof" get women. I'm not telling you or kavi what to do. Whatever works for you.

 

[Barrister]

I've seen plenty of men with no "social proof" get women. I'm not telling you or kavi what to do. If it works for you, then cool

Sure - I have seen it too. I have also seen ugly men get women. I have seen men with no money get women. I have seen fat men get women.

What exactly is your point? It is about maximizing your chances to get as many women as possible. If that is your goal, having strong social proof is a very strong factor in that goal. Yes, a blind squirrel finds a nut from time to time. It doesn't invalidate anything I said before.

 

[pipeman84]

There's this myth that "women don't go out with guys they don't know". Yeah, ask the chads on tinder about that or the dudes they met on springbreak! The number one way most couples meet is online dating, which are strangers. This idea that "women don't go out with guys they don't know" is a misleading lie women use to dissuade cold approaching because they don't like what they consider unattractive men hitting on them.

This comparison doesn't hold water. Firstly, the type of women who actually go on dates with guys from Tinder is a fraction of the women who make accounts on Tinder and that is a fraction of the female population. So basically you're comparing maybe 10% of females in 20-35 age range that go out with 'strangers' from Tinder and expect 100% of females being cold approached to go out? Secondly, with a 'stranger' from Tinder a woman had the chance to look at his pictures in the privacy of her home and on her time schedule, built some rapport over text/calling ... which is totally different from a stranger who just appears in front of her when she's at the mall or out on the street and asks for her number.

I think really the best bet a man at 5 or below has to get a woman he's really attracted to is to do a cold approach and hope you get lucky. Our anti-male feminist society is really trying hard to repress men who are average or below by trying to take away the cold approach from us by making it a social stigma and even calling the police. The repression is real. And for great looking men, the cold approach opens up your world to a caliber and quality of women you could only dream of otherwise.

Cold approach signals low value no matter if the guy is 5 or 10...if he's 5 it screams desperation, if he's 10 it screams fvckboy. Best bet IMO once a man gets his shyt together is to put himself out there in situations/places he has a genuine interest in. Then just let the universe/God/luck whatever, do its thing and connect him with a woman ... if it doesn't happen, at least he enjoyed his time there doing what he likes doing anyway.

 

[KingTurbo]

How do you even plan to create a social circle outside of college?

Befriend people.

Ex, a married woman may have a brother. She my introduce the both of you. Then you go meet friends together. Maybe she has a friend who is single and you get invited out.

You need to spider web yourself out.

 

[Don of the north]

This comparison doesn't hold water. Firstly, the type of women who actually go on dates with guys from Tinder is a fraction of the women who make accounts on Tinder and that is a fraction of the female population. So basically you're comparing maybe 10% of females in 20-35 age range that go out with 'strangers' from Tinder and expect 100% of females being cold approached to go out? Secondly, with a 'stranger' from Tinder a woman had the chance to look at his pictures in the privacy of her home and on her time schedule, built some rapport over text/calling ... which is totally different from a stranger who just appears in front of her when she's at the mall or out on the street and asks for her number.


Cold approach signals low value no matter if the guy is 5 or 10...if he's 5 it screams desperation, if he's 10 it screams fvckboy. Best bet IMO once a man gets his shyt together is to put himself out there in situations/places he has a genuine interest in. Then just let the universe/God/luck whatever, do its thing and connect him with a woman ... if it doesn't happen, at least he enjoyed his time there doing what he likes doing anyway.

This is honestly one of the worst pieces of advice I've seen on this forum. I mean no disrespect. I just vehemently respectfully disagree.

The number one-way couples now meet is online dating, which are strangers. Just because a woman "says" she never met anyone on tinder, doesn't make it true. She might be trying to cover up her ho phase.

If you don't like cold approaching, then that's fine. But don't make is sound bad just because you don't want to do it. Honestly, building up an entire social network just to access women sounds more low value than simply asking a woman out who you fancy in the street. It takes up very little time to do that.

I've never built any rapport with people on online dating. Totally unnecessary. Just ask them out at public place within the first few messages. If they're interested, they will go out. You can do a video chat first of course to avoid catfishing and to get a vibe. Don't spend any money on that first meeting. All you'll do with building rapport through online dating is get people that are using you for attention, people that flake at the last second, or go out with you and say there's no chemistry anyway. Cut to the chase. It's a sign of low value to give free attention like that.

And if you're actually looking to build rapport and get to know someone texting or even calling is terrible compared to a face to face interaction. The woman doesn't even know if she likes you until she can get your vibe in person. And if she is "looking to get to know you more", then she could always take your number from the cold approach and you can become texting buddies.

Anytime I ask a woman out online and she says "I want to get to know you more on here", I delete and block her immediately. She's an attention seeker. You see these obvious red flags when you've been doing online dating as long as I have.

There's nothing desperate about cold approaching in of itself. I'd say it's a matter of letting your balls drop and going over and saying hi to a woman you like. Sounds a lot more normal, honest, and straightforward than making friends with people who have "influence" just to access women.

I'm not judging you for any strategy. Do as you want, but this idea that cold approach is somehow bad and through friends is the only way to meet someone is absurd and imo will yield low results.

 

[kavi]

I've made my position on cold approach pretty clear which is not to spam approach.

But its funny cos you will notice literally no marriages or ltrs from cold approach in all the stats its not even a category. Weird.

Maybe women are really ashamed to admit it or it just very rarely leads to anything long term.

 

[pipeman84]

I've never built any rapport with people on online dating. Totally unnecessary. Just ask them out at public place within the first few messages. If they're interested, they will go out. You can do a video chat first of course to avoid catfishing and to get a vibe.

Anytime I ask a woman out online and she says "I want to get to know you more on here", I delete and block her immediately. She's an attention seeker. You see these obvious red flags when you've been doing online dating as long as I have.

Yeah man, totally agree with the above. But can't you understand that a woman who took the time to make an account on Tinder, looked at then swiped on your profile then exchanged a few messages/had a short videocall is in a totally different place compared to a woman minding her own business at the mall or on the street and being approached by a stranger?

Honestly, building up an entire social network just to access women sounds more low value than simply asking a woman out who you fancy in the street.

Sounds a lot more normal, honest, and straightforward than making friends with people who have "influence" just to access women.

I'm not judging you for any strategy. Do as you want, but this idea that cold approach is somehow bad and through friends is the only way to meet someone is absurd and imo will yield low results.

Where did I say to kiss people's ass or be an inauthentic person just to connect with women? I said a guy should get his shyt together and follow his passions/interests and he'll get to meet women. And even if he doesn't for a while, nothing lost, because he's doing something he enjoys anyways. This also means that the very rare guy who finds cold approaching a pleasant thing to do should go ahead and keep doing it.