Met Up With A Married Woman. Thoughts Needed.

[jamesfromhouston]

Hey gents.

Over the weekend I met up with a married woman. We had been talking about meeting up for awhile. But I've been busy so she has been waiting to me to firm a date. (We had connected/met on Facebook because we work in the same industry.)

So I invited her to go to a cool bar with me.

I'm wondering whether she has romantic interest in me over a few things:

- she has been keen to meet up with me (claiming she wants to learn from me and my industry experience)

- she has always been responsive to me in our texts/chats

- when we met up she mentioned she was seeing someone but did not say she was married

- she told me upfront that she doesn't like it when guys are confused with her and chase her because she's "seeing someone". She also passingly mention that doesn't happen to us but it doesn't seem like a stern warning.

- the whole night she was very chatty and teasing, tells me she admires me

- she told me that she had told her girlfriends that she was meeting up with me. They had a little discussion apparently.

- she was giving light touches here and there and she was ok to my touches too. Heavy eye contact. Although no overt flirting.

- she wasn't watching the clock and seemed to enjoy my company and at times was nervous.

- she called me a friend.

- I waved goodbye end of night and she went in for a hug.

So I'm having a hard read whether there's any romantic possibility here. I don't know whether there's any IL. I mean to me going to a bar to network 1 on 1 with a guy, seems bogus to me.

What do you guys think?

Do you guys think I can take this further?

Any similar experiences?

- James

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This happens when you make no moves and listen to what women say instead of how they act.

Remember that next time. Getting shut down because you made a move is a lot better than having these questions after.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Dude. Pick a new target. If she is actually married just abort. It’s not worth it. Find an unmarried woman.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

- she told me upfront that she doesn't like it when guys are confused with her and chase her because she's "seeing someone". She also passingly mention that doesn't happen to us but it doesn't seem like a stern warning.

- she called me a friend.

This ^^

I would keep her as an acquaintance and for networking. Nothing else.

If she makes a move, then be it but don't seriously consider her.

Shift your focus to other potential plates.

Modern Man Advice

 

[2Rocky]

She's AW-ing.

Using you for validation and friend zoning you. She's feeding you enough hope that you keep the attention going.

The married women who have carnal intent won't tell you they are married. Plain and simple.

 

[Dash Riprock]

There aren't enough single women out there?

OP, don't be a fool. It's a BAD idea to pursue married women for so many reasons I'm not going to list them all. Use your (big) head.

I will share a story with you: I know a guy who was doing this in the mid-90's--pursuing a married woman. He was a tall good looking guy from my college. Black belt, athletic, good dude. Things get hot with the married woman and the husband catches on and finds them at a bar. Shows up with a gun. Chases my friend, Rory, out the door. Rory is running around a car and the guy gets off a shot--and paralyzes Rory.

Be smart.

 

[rjc149]

My take: she's holding you at a yellow light. It may turn green, it may not. She's testing your temperature and casting her net out for other exit strategies.

If a woman is married and intends to stay true to her marriage, she would have told you that she's married. She lied to you by omission. "I'm seeing someone" gives her the open door to cheat without you getting hung up about it or thinking she's a sh!tty person. She can always just say "we're not seeing each other anymore" to open that door. Not so easy to say "we're not married anymore, we got divorced last weekend."

Don't believe anything she tells you. Don't believe that she "told her friend" beforehand. She's clearly deceptive and devious.

I've been in your shoes, and went there. And then she did the same thing to me. Women like this are not worth your emotional investment.

 

[joesknows]

A married woman was pursuing me hard at a recent party I went to, on multiple occasions. Strange thing is, someone else introduced both of them to me but did not announce that they were husband wife (I found out later). She approached me several times, but clearly felt guilty about it.

We bounced to several locations and it was clear that she wanted me to join her and at least a couple of other girls for extra curriculars at the end of the night. Something about it just didn't sit right with me and I didn't pursue.

I saw her and the other girls the following morning and they were all PISSED. Social boundaries are very loose and the women now typically dictate what's "appropriate" or not in a relationship (meaning they can do whatever they want and the man can only do what a woman allows).

There aren't enough single women out there?

OP, don't be a fool. It's a BAD idea to pursue married women for so many reasons I'm not going to list them all. Use your (big) head.

I will share a story with you:

Be smart.

How long ago was this? My bad, this was mid 90's. OK, so a quarter century or more has passed. This might as well be a million years as far as dating is concerned.

My experiences recently make it clear that social boundaries are extremely loose, to the point of being almost completely open. Maybe not in the most conservative small towns of the deep south, but the closer you get to densely populated metro areas, the attitude is far more liberal.

This could also happen with a jealous boyfriend or husband that the guy doesn't even know exists when you're dating a girl in which case you couldn't date any girl without a full background check.

I don't advocate trying to date married women either, but dating norms are changing so fast I can't rule it out completely, especially in the future.

As I related in the story above, not only do married woman actively game single men, they do so in front of their husbands, and the husbands just might be ok with it. Not only that, you might be looked down upon by the married woman's social circle for respecting their marriage! These are crazy times we live in.

 

[Kotaix]

I'm sure you could bang her if you made a move. You could have banged her that night because she's giving all the signs of wanting it to happen. You will probably get one more chance and then she'll ditch you for someone that will bang her.

Warning, she is probably using you to live out some kind of slut fantasy and nothing else. Also, you never know what might happen if or when the husband finds out. Just because she tells you that he knows, doesn't mean it's true. If I'm ever going to bang a married woman I insist on it being "approved".

But it's much better to go for unmarried women.

 

[bat soup]

Hey gents.

Over the weekend I met up with a married woman. We had been talking about meeting up for awhile. But I've been busy so she has been waiting to me to firm a date. (We had connected/met on Facebook because we work in the same industry.)

So I invited her to go to a cool bar with me.

I'm wondering whether she has romantic interest in me over a few things:

- she has been keen to meet up with me (claiming she wants to learn from me and my industry experience)

- she has always been responsive to me in our texts/chats

- when we met up she mentioned she was seeing someone but did not say she was married

- she told me upfront that she doesn't like it when guys are confused with her and chase her because she's "seeing someone". She also passingly mention that doesn't happen to us but it doesn't seem like a stern warning.

- the whole night she was very chatty and teasing, tells me she admires me

- she told me that she had told her girlfriends that she was meeting up with me. They had a little discussion apparently.

- she was giving light touches here and there and she was ok to my touches too. Heavy eye contact. Although no overt flirting.

- she wasn't watching the clock and seemed to enjoy my company and at times was nervous.

- she called me a friend.

- I waved goodbye end of night and she went in for a hug.

So I'm having a hard read whether there's any romantic possibility here. I don't know whether there's any IL. I mean to me going to a bar to network 1 on 1 with a guy, seems bogus to me.

What do you guys think?

Do you guys think I can take this further?

Any similar experiences?

- James

Sometimes the only way to find out if the pot is hot is to touch it.

 

[joesknows]

Sometimes the only way to find out if the pot is hot is to touch it.

So naive. She is obviously an "ATTENTION WHOOOOARE!!!!!"

She's AW-ing.

Using you for validation and friend zoning you. She's feeding you enough hope that you keep the attention going.

The married women who have carnal intent won't tell you they are married. Plain and simple.

I've seen no relationship whatsoever between sexual interest and a woman's willingness to disclose her relationship status. Some never mention it, others try to hide it, others tell you immediately.

 

[metalwater]

A married woman was pursuing me hard at a recent party I went to, on multiple occasions. Strange thing is, someone else introduced both of them to me but did not announce that they were husband wife (I found out later). She approached me several times, but clearly felt guilty about it.

We bounced to several locations and it was clear that she wanted me to join her and at least a couple of other girls for extra curriculars at the end of the night. Something about it just didn't sit right with me and I didn't pursue.

I saw her and the other girls the following morning and they were all PISSED. Social boundaries are very loose and the women now typically dictate what's "appropriate" or not in a relationship (meaning they can do whatever they want and the man can only do what a woman allows).



How long ago was this? My bad, this was mid 90's. OK, so a quarter century or more has passed. This might as well be a million years as far as dating is concerned.

My experiences recently make it clear that social boundaries are extremely loose, to the point of being almost completely open. Maybe not in the most conservative small towns of the deep south, but the closer you get to densely populated metro areas, the attitude is far more liberal.

This could also happen with a jealous boyfriend or husband that the guy doesn't even know exists when you're dating a girl in which case you couldn't date any girl without a full background check.

I don't advocate trying to date married women either, but dating norms are changing so fast I can't rule it out completely, especially in the future.

As I related in the story above, not only do married woman actively game single men, they do so in front of their husbands, and the husbands just might be ok with it. Not only that, you might be looked down upon by the married woman's social circle for respecting their marriage! These are crazy times we live in.

If you don't know the girl is married, you don't know. She does, she has the burden to tell. You have no burden to go find out. If you already know then it's on you, if you don't know you don't know.

Women do game men in front of their LTR, shame on that man that allows it. then the woman tells him about trust, insecurity, bla bla bla bla. If he doesn't like it, it is on him to not allow it. He has many choices other than hiding his anger.

Women do not priority to your best interest, they priority to self-interest. It must be clear to them what you want and if they can not or will not then next. If she games a man in front of you and that man allows it, that is a direct challenge, like throwing a glove on the ground. Depending on the context of the situation the response is variable from soft to extremely hard.

It's a huge rush to know you're dominating another man's woman and that HE doesn't like it but is afraid of you or just weak or ignorant. The woman also gets a rush from it. Know that your doing damage to the other man, until it happens to you it will seem cool. The cucked man will never ever forget you if he knows or finds out and one day he may get stronger. That's why in the old times the invader kills the men and boys, because after doing the women its for sure that at least one man would come looking for them or when they grow up.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Incredible responses from my bros here at SS. Moments like this really makes me value the brotherhood we have.

Anyway, yeah I agree, married means trouble, there are simpler chases out there but DAMN that girl is seriously hot. I really wouldn't mind banging and enjoying her at least once.

I know it might cause hurt to the husband but if she was down for this sort of thing in the first place then she will always find another person to bang with. Its not really my obligation to keep her in check. Its her own and her husband's.

(Short story: I once hooked up with a taken girl in Detroit in my last job. It was mind-blowing sex. We did the freakiest things. It eventually blew up because the boyfriend found out. I felt bad about it. She broke up with the guy and ended up with me. Then she cheated on me with her ex. So we broke up. Eventually she cheated on him with another new guy.)

At this point, because there aren't any overt displays of interest from her besides what I just mentioned (which I can't really tell), I might play it on the low key and go more passive until she throws some signs my way.

One thing I really picked up on from some of your responses is the attention. She might just be fishing for attention from me. I am a bit well known that could be the reason.

-James

 

[DonJuanjr]

She's putting herself in situations for men to vibe with her so she can be seduced. This shows she is enacting her dualistic sexual strategy. One has to know what this involves.
She only sees you as a lover, not a replacement. Being the lover, she needs you to be judgement free. Once she sees that you will not judge her, she will be open to your advances. This is important for her for a couple reasons. She can get those desire chemicals shes seeking, and she needs you for redemption. She needs to be able to service your needs as a way of redeeming herself for all her past indiscretions.
She needs you to see her wild side, and validate her for it. This is a side of her the husband will not see. Don't be stupid about it, and be seen with her in public places, meet at a motel or something, and you can avoid a situation like dash's friend.

 

[manfrombelow]

OP, she called you a friend.

Women who are romantically and sexually interested in you (a.k.a wanting to svck your dvck) don't call you a friend.

If I were you, I would stop investing any more time, energy, and money into this broad. Sure I would still keep her in my contact list just in case, but I would not cross my fingers but rather go date & bang other women. Come on man!

 

[jamesfromhouston]

OP, just for your benefit, married dudes on this forum are going to freak out at your redpill about married women being cheating Ho's.

Gentleman, marriage is a terrible deal and it is No Protection from the Sexual Marketplace.

Well I am sorry my married bros. No offence intended but truth is not all women are marriage material.

If a married woman decides to come out with a guy 1 on 1 or even decides to do more based on her own decision, there's not much I or anyone can do about it.

If it's not me, it's someone else because the problem isn't the RP guys, its the married women who decide to put out.

 

[bat soup]

Incredible responses from my bros here at SS. Moments like this really makes me value the brotherhood we have.

Anyway, yeah I agree, married means trouble, there are simpler chases out there but DAMN that girl is seriously hot. I really wouldn't mind banging and enjoying her at least once.

I know it might cause hurt to the husband but if she was down for this sort of thing in the first place then she will always find another person to bang with. Its not really my obligation to keep her in check. Its her own and her husband's.

(Short story: I once hooked up with a taken girl in Detroit in my last job. It was mind-blowing sex. We did the freakiest things. It eventually blew up because the boyfriend found out. I felt bad about it. She broke up with the guy and ended up with me. Then she cheated on me with her ex. So we broke up. Eventually she cheated on him with another new guy.)

At this point, because there aren't any overt displays of interest from her besides what I just mentioned (which I can't really tell), I might play it on the low key and go more passive until she throws some signs my way.

One thing I really picked up on from some of your responses is the attention. She might just be fishing for attention from me. I am a bit well known that could be the reason.

-James

Try getting close to her and see if she moves away.

 

[DonJuanjr]

the problem isn't the RP guys, its the married women who decide to put out.

You can't blame a female for not realizing her nature, and entering into a union/contract that she cannot live up to. Just like you can't blame a dog for taking a steak off your plate if you leave the plate on the floor. Marriage is a two way street. If ignorant men didn't marry females and put them in that position, none would be married, and no vows would be broke. That's why I say it's the husbands fault for entering into a union to begin with. Just like it's someone's own fault if they entered a contract with a drug addict, and then gets burned by the drug addict not honoring their side of the contract.

 

[metalwater]

Well I am sorry my married bros. No offence intended but truth is not all women are marriage material.

If a married woman decides to come out with a guy 1 on 1 or even decides to do more based on her own decision, there's not much I or anyone can do about it.

If it's not me, it's someone else because the problem isn't the RP guys, it's the married women who decide to put out.

all women are like that. the problem is two, the man that doesn't manage the woman and or environment and the man that decides to take advantage of it. AWALT, we know this.

if you don't know the woman is married, it's on her. if you know then it's on you.

one of the things women are famous for is to rationalize what THEY want to do. making it the fault of others. women do this all the time. nowadays men do the same, rationalize what THEY want to do, and make it the fault of another.

 

[metalwater]

And why are men still entering into these arrangements in 2021? Because they are lonely and they are governed by their desire to be pair-bonded to a woman. This is otherwise known as "simping".

one of the side effects of low T.