Who are women actually dating and how do they find them?

[Pandora]

Something you may find interesting:

I did some online dating a few years ago. Got a few dates with average women in their late 20s. Didn't end up dating any of them, but friended many of them on facebook at the time. I considered myself to be way out of their league, but obviously they didn't see it the same way - they basically all rejected me, but remained on my facebook to this date.

Now, years later, a quick survey shows every one of them is still single (at least according to facebook). Their photos also indicate that they are still single.

I'm convinced that most of the older women (above age 25) on online dating sites are permanently single. Especially the older dating sites are often the last resort for women to find a guy - they typically try all other methods first. This means that none of their orbiters was good enough for them. Which usually implies that no one is good enough.

100%

 

[Pandora]

Pride.
Humble people will always give an arm and a leg, prideful people will not.
View attachment 6614

yes exactly....perpetually single women have a pride issue. Or in spiritual woo woo terms and unbalanced ego. This quote is great. Identifying when we are in pride consciousness ( ego) is something we can all work on.

 

[Pandora]

You ever done a cold approach that led somewhere?

yes....alot. Cold approaching is the most brutal yet most reliable method. It is also dangerous in todays gynocentric society. If she doesn't think you are cute be careful. The biggest risk is her bf being around so make sure she is not with a male. Cold approaching is scary but there is a thin line between fear and fun.

 

[MatureDJ]

Something you may find interesting:

I did some online dating a few years ago. Got a few dates with average women in their late 20s. Didn't end up dating any of them, but friended many of them on facebook at the time. I considered myself to be way out of their league, but obviously they didn't see it the same way - they basically all rejected me, but remained on my facebook to this date.

Now, years later, a quick survey shows every one of them is still single (at least according to facebook). Their photos also indicate that they are still single.

I'm convinced that most of the older women (above age 25) on online dating sites are permanently single. Especially the older dating sites are often the last resort for women to find a guy - they typically try all other methods first. This means that none of their orbiters was good enough for them. Which usually implies that no one is good enough.

I think they have the "break in case of biological clock" sperm bank contingency plan, where they at least will be able to recombine DNA with a Chad. They will then begin accepting dates with the Betas they had long been rejecting, and then complaining that the Betas aren't "manning up".

True Forced Loneliness prophet "Roller" Steve Hoca calls this "dating limbo".

 

[MatureDJ]

I feel im at a breaking point if i cant start meeting women soon. It feels bizarre that it should be this impossible,

I recommend EscortMaxxing to keep your sanity.

 

[MatureDJ]

I identify. Due to numerous childhood relocations, I could never develop a social circle. Since turning 18, I've also had numerous moves. Even though I'm 38 and have been in the same city 10 years, my social circle is not all that strong.

Since I've not had a social circle since hitting puberty, my 20+ years in the dating/relationships has been about cold approaching and swipe app/websites in the pre-swipe app era.

Both are tough roads.

I went to all-boys Catholic high school, and then majored in STEM, so not having women around is the story of my life. My social circle has always seemed to be fellow bachelor AFCs that would get lucky every once in a while and get some decent women in their circles (that always seemed to slip away), and fat chicks that somehow had glommed into the circle. I've basically had to earn every PU I've done.

One of my friends in this circle took the attitude that as he aged, he would consider women in his age cohort, and it got to the point that he was dating grannies. He didn't have to work much for these dates as he is akin to Norm from Cheers (not fat like that though), and he always seemed to have an acquaintance that had an available 40-something wanting to set him up with.

 

[MatureDJ]

And who can forget the guy who took a photo of a girl without her knowledge and posted that he jerked off to it when he got home.

Did he jerk off ON the photo? This is a meme at porno sites.

What the fvck is wrong with some of you?

What the fvck is wrong? Women are not interesting in sexing normies, and the social meme no longer forces them to accept one.

 

[derby1]

How many times have you seen a man approach a woman in a grocery store? I've literally never once seen it in my life. And if you think about how many times you've gone to the grocery store in your lifetime, you'd think you'd see it right? I'm sure it happens but my point is that I think it's extremely rare. All I know is that when I strike up conversation with a woman in a grocery store, it's like someone scratched a record on a record player - everyone freezes with their avocado or lettuce in hand and stares because the matrix has been broken and they've never seen such a thing before. This to me is more evidence of the rarity of it. I think the real reason you see more headphones is due to the invention of wireless earbuds which just makes it very easy to listen to music, or podcasts (which are big now) on the go.

I did it the other day, totally out the blue I went full on rico suave on the cashier, all the other men in the queue were mesmerised, the women intrigued.

it was a joyful moment, I agree they havent seen it before

 

[derby1]

I say that to give the proper perspective for my next question which is, if none of them think im good enough, who the fvck are they dating? and how do they meet them?

OP I dont know if you realise how tragically messed up women under 40 are? every woman I know goes out with a guy 3 points below her SMV so her self esteem doesnt get crushed.

They are narcs on steroid. if you have a DJ mindset and god forbid you have a life, she will just bail on you.

Everything was going great the other week with a plate, then I told her i was just heading to a houseparty that night , she instantly ghosted me. They need puppets to sooth their self esteem

theyve been radicalised since birth, that they are prize, hence theyre all dying alone

if you go on social media now, you will realise its always the man told "hes knocking", or does he realise "how lucky he is"

shes never told how lucky she is

 

[Bingo-Player]

I agree with this. So then we have to explain: if most women are not on OLD whereas far more men are, implying those men are not meeting enough women IRL, and the few women who are there think just about no man is good enough, how are women today actually meeting men? I feel im at a breaking point if i cant start meeting women soon. It feels bizarre that it should be this impossible, so i hope im just not doing it right.

Work , social circles and recommendations

I keep saying OLD is a waste of time delete them all ..... the algorithms are rigged so that if your not paying heavily for it your going to get screwed badly not only that it's a terrible environment for dating

Its highly disposable by both parties , conversation is incredibly difficult because often you have next to nothing worthwhile to converse about

Also you have to ask yourself with all the options quality women have to meet men......swipe apps have got to be bottom of the barrel so why would she be on there ?

Because no high value guy wants her
Because she wants more attention than she's currently getting
Because her expectations are unrealistically high for her market value
Because she is toxic
Because she is a Wh0re

Whatever way you want too look at it , it's not good i don't believe you are going to be able to build a quality relationship off a swipe app i could be wrong but i am yet to be proven wrong

Social media perhaps not quite so bad but again you only really have a chance if you actually KNOW her in real life

 

[characternote]

How many times have you seen a man approach a woman in a grocery store? I've literally never once seen it in my life. And if you think about how many times you've gone to the grocery store in your lifetime, you'd think you'd see it right? I'm sure it happens but my point is that I think it's extremely rare. All I know is that when I strike up conversation with a woman in a grocery store, it's like someone scratched a record on a record player - everyone freezes with their avocado or lettuce in hand and stares because the matrix has been broken and they've never seen such a thing before. This to me is more evidence of the rarity of it. I think the real reason you see more headphones is due to the invention of wireless earbuds which just makes it very easy to listen to music, or podcasts (which are big now) on the go.

I'm not a woman though so I don't have first-hand experience, but when I have asked women I have dated how often they get approached by guys, it's far less than you would think. Really almost rare. Most guys just don't have the balls.

I agree with this.

I don't think i've ever seen a cold approach in my whole life in person here in the UK in the day.

What's even weirder to me is that even at night, in bars and stuff, it's so rare so see guys hit on strangers. Super rare! I often feel like it's just me lol

I DID see it way more at night when I was travelling around the US and even in Hungary, but it always shocks me at how even in bars and stuff here, you just don't tend to see cold approach. A guy walking up too a girl, or a group of girls, and trying to start a convo and flirt.

Closest you get is in actual night clubs where the 'approach' is waiting for a girl to give you a signal she thinks you're hot, and then walk up behind her and grind

 

[corrector]

Gotta have thick skin for that.



Getting IOIs is not easy for most men, either in non-bar or bar/nightclub cold approaching. I prefer to have them to approach. Yes, you'll do fewer approaches with them, but you are more likely to have better approaches. A lot of approaches without IOIs will stall out or lead to a flat out rejection. It's not playing the percentages well.

I didnt know you get approaches.

 

[Hollywood4life]

I feel like I could have wrote this. You're not alone man. It's very frustrating for sure. Like you I too am not having luck with OLD. I just deleted my tinder account yesterday. I will try hinge and bumble at some point, but not in the immediate future. I wish I could go back in time to account for the dumpster fire that is todays dating reality.

join the club lol,I’m above average looking and have good pic/good profile ect and I get next to nothing on tinder .

I’m yet to meet someone that has had success with OLD

Cold approach /day game is so much more gratifying because I can actually my spark attraction with my semi good looks and most importantly my personality..... even though all’s I’m getting is rejections so far lol, but I actually have faith in this method

 

[AttackFormation]

Ill reply to all of your posts later guys, going out soon to wander around.

But i do have an update. I got contacted online.... by a 35 year old single mom, who is allegedly wondering what brought me to the muslim dating app since im not muslim. I guess it beats getting contacted by a gay man like yesterday

 

[allergictobs]

But i do have an update. I got contacted online.... by a 35 year old single mom, who is allegedly wondering what brought me to the muslim dating app since im not muslim. I guess it beats getting contacted by a gay man like yesterday

I get hit on by gay guys every now and then. It actually feels nice because it's the only kind of appreciation or compliment I get these days. And I value it more than I would value interest from a 35-yo single mom.

 

[BadBoy89]

There's about 10 members of this forum worth conversing with.

Who are the 10?

 

[SW15]

I know many of these women in person. They are deeply promiscuous and have attachment issues.

Who do they bang? Mimicking those men could be a strategy for men looking for hit it and quit it types. That could reduce the one date, no sex, no second date type failed efforts for some men.

 

[Robert28]

Women seem to have impossible standards that I have to meet but much lower standards for guys they date.lol

 

[f283000]

I sense a lot of complaining in this thread. I think we should just keep things simple by understanding the following (for those complaining).

1. dating apps are dead: most accounts are inactive and for you to get seen by any girl there remotely attractive that’s active you’re going to have to pay. And even if you pay there’s 100 simps in her inbox competing with you telling her how beautiful she is.
2. IG is the biggest dating app in the world right now: but you will have to work on your page by getting professional pics, followers etc. And then you will be competing with guys with more clout than you. What we do know is that getting a blue check on IG makes you into a celebrity in girls eyes and very easy to hook up.

So knowing the above leaves 2 other options. Cold approaching and activities where you can meet women easily (like salsa dancing, volunteering, meetup groups etc).

We really shouldn’t complain when we understand the above. We can’t change the dating market place. We either adapt by using other options but there should be no complaints.

 

[fastlife]

The biggest risk is her bf being around so make sure she is not with a male. Cold approaching is scary but there is a thin line between fear and fun.

This is pure keyboard jockeying. I've approached 100s (probs 1000s?) of mixed sets--including couples on dates. When I was starting out, my motto was: Any girl, any situation (I've gotten a lot lazier the past few years unfortunately). I've never had a guy swing on me once--and I've been in cities where there's plenty of violence. Usually he'll just 1.) Grab her or 2.) Say that's my gf. You just apologize, empathize, befriend. Easy.

I've had guys step to me exactly twice. One was years ago in a college bar where this guy started talking **** so I started macking on the girl he was with to prove a point (didn't even like her--it was just my ego at the time and I kinda provoked him). Last night I approached a girl who was in a group with like 7 other guys and 1 other girl. She opened and hooked. Turned out one of the guys was her bf and got heated and stepped to me. I just raised my hand, said, "Look, man. I had no idea. Props dude. Take it as a compliment." Calmed him down a little and then dapped him up (when you reach out your hand, people's instincts are to grab it, pulled him in for a shoulder hug). His friends ended up apologizing to me on his behalf and I befriended one of them.

@AttackFormation We've both been here a long time. And we've had 2 very different experiences. Just cold approach. Find RSD Julien's PIMP (it's floating around the internet somewhere) and read YaReally's archives starting with the Scray FRs. No excuses. Rejection is good for you and I'd rather be rejected a million times than play the victim. Stop looking for IOIs. They're just about meaningless and they're not necessary. If you get blown out off the open, it's an easy fix 1.) Eye contact--Relaxed, direct, hold it 2.) Tonality--Loud, breaking rapport (downward inflection). That'll at least get girls to open, even if they're unavailable or not attracted. And accept that at the end of the day, no matter how good you are it's still a number's game (but I'd take my %s and quality from cold approach over OLD any day--I only lasted about a week on Tinder lol).