Who are women actually dating and how do they find them?

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

1). Most women are dating average joes that are willing to put with their shvt. These guys are either through mutual friends, dating apps, or etc.

2). The single women are alpha widows banging their heads trying to make the guy 6 tiers above them commit/thotting around bragging about how single they are until they can find a potential Chad or NFL player prospect.

 

[SW15]

So knowing the above leaves 2 other options. Cold approaching and activities where you can meet women easily (like salsa dancing, volunteering, meetup groups etc).

I would not include Meetup in this. Meetup.com has a bad reputation. Social groups are a good recommendation, but they have to be not a part of Meetup.com.

 

[f283000]

I would not include Meetup in this. Meetup.com has a bad reputation. Social groups are a good recommendation, but they have to be not a part of Meetup.com.

Bad reputation for?

 

[SW15]

Bad reputation for?

Horrid gender ratios, subpar female talent, men swarming the mediocre looking women (the best looking of a sad bunch) for dates

How many times have you seen a man approach a woman in a grocery store? I've literally never once seen it in my life. And if you think about how many times you've gone to the grocery store in your lifetime, you'd think you'd see it right? I'm sure it happens but my point is that I think it's extremely rare. All I know is that when I strike up conversation with a woman in a grocery store, it's like someone scratched a record on a record player - everyone freezes with their avocado or lettuce in hand and stares because the matrix has been broken and they've never seen such a thing before. This to me is more evidence of the rarity of it. I think the real reason you see more headphones is due to the invention of wireless earbuds which just makes it very easy to listen to music, or podcasts (which are big now) on the go.

I'm not a woman though so I don't have first-hand experience, but when I have asked women I have dated how often they get approached by guys, it's far less than you would think. Really almost rare. Most guys just don't have the balls.

I don't recall seeing any other guys besides myself approaching women in the grocery store. People do it. Guys on this board do it and guys do it and post the approaches on YouTube.

I've never seen anyone stop and stare at my grocery store approaches.

I went to all-boys Catholic high school, and then majored in STEM, so not having women around is the story of my life. My social circle has always seemed to be fellow bachelor AFCs that would get lucky every once in a while and get some decent women in their circles (that always seemed to slip away), and fat chicks that somehow had glommed into the circle. I've basically had to earn every PU I've done.

Holy smokes that's a lot to unpack.

All-boys high schools are a bad idea for a lot of males. The only boys who should be attending those are boys who have good social networks with girls from the K-8 years. Yes, I'm aware that all-boys schools and all-girls schools sometimes have mixed dance events, but that's every so often. The daily interaction is much, much healthier for a boy's social life.

STEM in college also isn't female friendly. If you want women in classes, major in Communication, Sociology, Psychology, or a liberal arts class. If you're a STEM major guy, you're going to have to cold approach randomly on campus, be active in female friendly extracurricular clubs, or get invited to female friendly house parties with a lot of alcohol and/or drugs and do some semi-warm approaches. Common classes are a good way to form romantic relationships with women of any duration.

 

[AttackFormation]

Counterpoint: went to a party with about 20 ppl there age 30-35. All the same social circle since college. There were only 4 single ppl there, incl me, and one of those is poly and another one was just out of a short term relationship. I have options myself, and I assume the other single person (female) did as well and was single by choice. None of the relationships are terribly ideal per se, and a lot of the men in particular I know have suffered soul-destroying dry spells prior to pairing up, but it's not like people don't pair off. It's important to look at your own complicity.

Youve most certainly done more to maintain social circles than i have, which is my complicity.

As for the meetup groups you guys mentioned, i dont remember if i went to two or only one but i remember it was a dead end. Only a few women, and only some of them were on the younger side. And they seemed the least interested to interact with anyone. Didnt bother me since they werent my type anyway... but i didnt go again. And that was improvisation acting, not something you would think would be that bad.

You guys are of course right that approaching is what you in the end have to do, no matter what you feel about gender relations today. I will continue to go out and now look to approach, today i felt pretty close to being able to do it. I think the first time i do an approach again (havent done one in years), i might create a topic to track them.. we'll see. @characternote, what you write is the same here, I bet the women i talk to wont even understand what's going on at first or why id be doing it haha.

 

[derby1]

I guess it beats getting contacted by a gay man like yesterday

I get hit on by gay men when I take my 12 year old daughter to Birmingham, there is china town there, and right by it is Gay village, we sometimes have a glass of pop in the bars there.

The gay guys are a real good laugh, we play each other up,they have my daughter in hysterics.

In their eyes im like a GOD (bald, 6 foot 2,muscular frame within reason)

its a shame women dont approach in the same manner, instead of us having to figure sh*t out, I would love if women told us they fancied us, or just kept it short and sweet if not

 

[AttackFormation]

I get hit on by gay men when I take my 12 year old daughter to Birmingham, there is china town there, and right by it is Gay village, we sometimes have a glass of pop in the bars there.

The gay guys are a real good laugh, we ply each other up,they have my daughter in hysterics.

In there eyes im like a GOD (bald 6 foot 2)

its a shame women dont approach in the same manner instead of us having to figure sh*t out

I visited my mom some weeks ago and on the way home walking through a forest, this gay guy comes along and wants to suck my d1ck.... im the same height as you and also have a short cut. I remember you posted a pic of you and your daughter.. she seemed to have gotten someone's good genes as far as i could see haha. You know mate, that's the only thing i miss from the girl i was with last summer... meeting her sister's kids. Such a couple of joys, whereas i couldnt wait to stop being with the girl herself. It must be good to have a daughter.

Hell im not even asking to be approached, and women will say they are even too cowardly to send a first message online. Just eye contact so i can smile and initiate would be enough, a slight smile before i smile would be a bonus. However that never happens, they avoid eye contact if they think you can see it, and always pretend like they werent looking at you and you arent there.

But seemingly you are not supposed to expect women to do the least thing anyway, despite them being "empowered", "strong" and "independent". And more than that you are supposed to mind read whether their signs of disinterest are a so called "shyt test" or not, while at the same time feminists campaign that "no means no". Mate, i cant stand the bullshyt. And here's the thing: the more we coddle women like little children, not expecting them to put in any effort or accountability whatsoever at any point, the worse this will become. By picking up the slack we might be improving our atomistic chances in the short run but the culture as a whole would only continue to get worse from it.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

The swipe apps are designed for you to fail. These apps prey on lonely men. The app wants you to fail so it can upsell you to a paying membership. "Paying members get seen by more women" is their whole business model. The apps. purposely shadow ban non-paying members. This is why guys can swipe for weeks straight with no matches. The women you're swiping on dont even see your profile if youre not a paying member.

If there is enough interest I will start a thread on how these algorithms really work.

 

[AttackFormation]

The swipe apps are designed for you to fail. These apps prey on lonely men. The app wants you to fail so it can upsell you to a paying membership. "Paying members get seen by more women" is their whole business model. The apps. purposely shadow ban non-paying members. This is why guys can swipe for weeks straight with no matches. The women you're swiping on dont even see your profile if youre not a paying member.

If there is enough interest I will start a thread on how these algorithms really work.

Sure, but paying doesnt seem to make a difference either. The free premium trial i received runs out tomorrow and hasnt gotten me jackshyt. OLD is just a desert mirage no matter whether you pay. Of course that doesnt contradict what you said, as they simply want you to keep paying anyway.

 

[DonJuanjr]

it's more likely not getting jackshyt because you're low-value and play "nice guy" Game. It probably reflects in the pics you have on your dating app profile too.

Are you smiling in any of your OLD pics?

 

[DonJuanjr]

You should never smile. You should only ever smirk.

Smiling is friendly, agree-able, feminine and submissive. It doesn't turn women on.

I can't control what women are/aren't attracted to. I can only respond to it. If smiling and being nice turns women off then that ain't my problem. I do what's needed to achieve my goals.

That's what I was realizing when you brought up the conveying nice guy in pics comment.

 

[Velasco]

Horrible advice on not smiling. Google "James Franco smiling" or Nick Robinson smiling (who stole it from Franco). It makes you likeable. Likeable is the first step towards manipulating someone.

Edit: from R.B Sparkman's The Art of Manipulation (1976)

Manipulating a person’s thinking

We can only be persuaded by those we like and respect. The first question you should ask yourself when you start a manipulation should be "Does this person like me?" rather than "What should I say?”

We just shot the breeze and socialized. We talked about his job, his family and kids-things that would never help me sell him a car in a hundred years. I quit giving sales pitches on cars. I just befriended people, put human nature on my side, and incidentally sold them a car.

By focusing on befriending your quarry rather than dazzling him with your logic, you save yourself from arguments and failure. Sell yourself before you sell your ideas.

 

[Velasco]

less better-looking guy holding a rifle and smirking, or sitting on a motorbike

To girls who like that guys looks, yes. The girls who don't, will think he's trying too hard.

 

[Velasco]

It's much easier for a guy to improve his physical appearance - hitting the gym, eating healthier, dressing nicer -than for him to learn game

Again I will point to forum member @sangheilios. He and many others like him, already do these things yet don't get girls. More mindset than the outer things you mention

 

[Who Dares Win]

Most women past a certain age are fvcked up in the head, wheter from emotional baggage, failed relationships, alpha widowed or pumped&dumped too much...they still cant get that a mans criteria for sex are much lower than women and that men have double standards for quick lays and relationships unlike them.

Asking who those women are dating is like asking who the basement nerds are banging, some are simply unable to fit in the market.

The rat utopia type degeneration of our society is expediting the process.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I thought the manipulation strategy seemed pretty good.

 

[oc16]

I'm of the opinion that most women (who are not perma-single) meet guys through friends, and usually the guy is one of their many orbiters in that social circle. The girl may dream of an alpha/celebrity/athlete, but gladly accept one of her orbiters.

The attitude you have right now (at a breaking point) is surely not good for meeting women. Women/dating is not worth getting depressed, you have to solve that first in some way.

I agree with you that attractive women usually end up with guys in their social circle even if the guy is average at best looking and/or an orbiter. I wonder if alot of it has to do with a level of trust? You can be a great looking guy but you are most likely NOT going to meet a girl who is relationship material at a bar/club, supermarket or basically anywhere where you are a complete stranger.

I think good places are gyms (mostly classes), volunteer organizations, your social circle, classes and work. What do these things have in common?

When a particular woman sees you over and over it builds comfort and trust , which builds attraction.

I know it's frustrating. I think I'm a 7 or 7.5 in the looks department and look good for 44 especially when so many guys my age are fat.

 

[oc16]

Women don't respect or trust nice guys because they view it as weak. Velasco takes a manipulation strategy, misunderstands it, and gives bluepill advice.

Women like and respect confident, loveable as$holes. It's just the way it is. I didn't design women.

James Franco, if you remove the Fame (which gives a huge automatic boost to his desireability), is not a nice guy. He's extremely narcissistic and self absorbed.

Not a fan of him, not even a good actor.

 

[Velasco]

He was good in Sonny (2002). Anyways Friday night. Good luck to anyone else going out.

Pan, I was you maybe 3-4 years ago. I made this same comment to lorderra (?). I know you ok. With more experience you will reach my level of understanding of all this sht and see all the silliness of your comments (I was the same arrogant know it all, so I sympathize) good luck to you as well.

 

[dasein]

holding a rifle and smirking, or sitting on a motorbike.

Young men reading, do NOT put firearms in your OLD pics unless it's on a gun fan site or similar. Same effect as smoking a cigarette on OLD pics. Don't do it.

As far as smiling goes using OLD? If you are lowish body fat, have an above average masculine face, jaw, chin, hairline, cheekbones, eyes, dimples, facial hair, etc., beam away in one picture. If you are slender, have feminine or more boyish facial features, grin or smirk instead. It's relative and not absolute. I and friends have done it either way depending on baseline looks.

In person, if you have a good smile, use it only for validation when she initiates or escalates touching OR makes it obviously easier and inviting for you to touch her. Otherwise smirk, grin or narrow eyes. If you can do a more "deranged" Joker smile, use it as validation only when she laughs with you and leans or moves closer to you. I do lots of winking with a Mona Lisa smile when negging, but I'm old. No idea whether people wink any more generally, still works for me.

But no guns in OLD pics, please! Well unless you have a totally maxed out SMV... but then you wouldn't be reading this thread or even know of the existence of this forum, would you.