Want my ex gf back.

[daproest1]

Agreed.

When OP went into hyper chase beta mode it only confirmed why she dumped him to begin with.

Its OOOO---VVVVVVV-----EEEEEEE-----RRRRRRRR

lmao @ hyper chase beta mode

 

[daproest1]

Not going to lie about something. I love helping other guys here but when I see the arrogance and delusion dripping from the posters like the OP, it's almost funny. Some people can't be helped, I'm convinced.

I’m not arrogant or delusional. Just trying to make sense of it all. I’m open to any and all feedback, criticism (constructive or otherwise). Is just like a solution where there seems to be none I guess. Other than moving on and crossing my fingers.

 

[daproest1]

A man would be best served if he observes what a woman does instead of listening to her, as her truest intention is manifested then.

How many times has a woman said NO to you when she actually means YES ?

Similarly think back to the last weeks before the break off, her words or that of her female friends/family can't be taken at face value.

I was hoping to let this sink in slowly OP.

That your princess is not the princess you created in your mind....it's a delusion of your own making.

And your ego can't accept it yet.

Because a woman that you portrayed would have fought every single step before finally giving up but she didnt...

She dumped you at the side curb for another man she's been seeing on the side for months.

The last weeks before the BU, her friends and family didn’t tell me anything. I found out about all that AFTER the BU. In her mind, according to her of course, she thinks she did fight every single step of the way. I mean she did put up with my ****tiness for a long time. But you’re probably right.

 

[Glassguy]

The last weeks before the BU, her friends and family didn’t tell me anything. I found out about all that AFTER the BU. In her mind, according to her of course, she thinks she did fight every single step of the way. I mean she did put up with my ****tiness for a long time. But you’re probably right.

The faster you realize that she dumped you long before it happened the sooner you will be moving on.

If you did things to cause her to dump you its best to learn from it and not make the same mistakes with the new women that come along (note I didnt say with her because its over bud).

lmao @ hyper chase beta mode

I coined that myself. Patent pending so dont fall too in love with that saying lol

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

No that was me talking to you guys. Like... if she wanted to get married, THAT BAD, to the point where I was on a fvcking timer, she should have had a real conversation with me about it. Instead of dropping little bullshyt hints here and there

That’s what I’m saying. Very rarely will a woman directly say what she wants. Her “little hints” were her female way of delivering the marriage ultimatum bomb.

-Augustus-

 

[daproest1]

I’m pretty sure, now looking back, that if I would have just walked away like it didn’t even matter, she would’ve came back in a few days.

 

[daproest1]

That’s what I’m saying. Very rarely will a woman directly say what she wants. Her “little hints” were her female way of delivering the marriage ultimatum bomb.

-Augustus-

Well good luck to her. She knew me enough to know that hints don’t work all that well on me. She knew me enough to know I don’t like feeling forced to do anything. If I did, id get a 9-5 like everyone else. Not my fault she bottled shyt up for so long

 

[Glassguy]

I’m pretty sure, now looking back, that if I would have just walked away like it didn’t even matter, she would’ve came back in a few days.

You MIGHT be right but I doubt it.

You are still failing to realize 2 things:

1.) She felt like dumping you MONTHS ago. She just recently acted upon it. Lack of attraction became lack of respect which means she dumped you. That didnt start recently. Its started MONTHS ago. You were just a dead man walking in her eyes.

2.) She dumped you AFTER she had dudes lined up. Take that to the bank. I dont care what anyone tells you in her social circle. You just said that they all knew (her family and friends) but didnt say anything to you. They probably dont know who the new dude(s) is/are but him/they will be revealed soon enough.

So what if you did what you were supposed to do and agreed with the break up, moved on, etc and then she came back after a few weeks or month? Would you trust her again? No because she did this once and she is more than capable of doing it again. Would you respect her? No because she didnt care when she dumped you. Would you believe what she said to you? No because her actions already trumped her words.

Why would you want to take that type of chick back? When the water is poisoned you have to stop trying to drink it bro.

 

[daproest1]

You MIGHT be right but I doubt it.

You are still failing to realize 2 things:

1.) She felt like dumping you MONTHS ago. She just recently acted upon it. Lack of attraction became lack of respect which means she dumped you. That didnt start recently. Its started MONTHS ago. You were just a dead man walking in her eyes.

2.) She dumped you AFTER she had dudes lined up. Take that to the bank. I dont care what anyone tells you in her social circle. You just said that they all knew (her family and friends) but didnt say anything to you. They probably dont know who the new dude(s) is/are but him/they will be revealed soon enough.

So what if you did what you were supposed to do and agreed with the break up, moved on, etc and then she came back after a few weeks or month? Would you trust her again? No because she did this once and she is more than capable of doing it again. Would you respect her? No because she didnt care when she dumped you. Would you believe what she said to you? No because her actions already trumped her words.

Why would you want to take that type of chick back? When the water is poisoned you have to stop trying to drink it bro.

Na I said her mom knew she was unhappy and why. I didn’t give her a key to my new place, the marriage thing, called her self centered, etc.

The friends thing is her venting to her friends and crying for a long time. Which is a no no. U don’t shyt talk your partner behind their back. U speak directly to them. The hypocrisy of it all is she said that to ME once when I complained about her to a “buddy” of mine at 2 years in, and he told his gf, who then told her.

As far as taking her back, yeah. Because in a way I deserved it. I needed the wake up call. I was sleep walking thru the last part of the relationship. I was a bit hard on her when I shouldn’t have been. And I was hyper focused on my business. One track mind guy stuff, u know how it is. Some of it was due to health issues on my end which I’ve since addressed. Wasn’t aware at the time.

 

[daproest1]

Also, I came across this thread:

When a Woman Turns 27

I honestly believe that age 27 is a very monumental turning point for a single woman. When they turn 27, they're faced with the reality that age 30 is approaching. For a woman who's married with at least one child, this isn't really an issue. For a woman who has at least one child, it may or may...

www.sosuave.net

which blew my mind because I came up with this theory on my own right after my split based on my experience and others. My mom left her first husband (awesome dude, after 10 years) when she was 27. My older brother’s ex wife left him after 9 years at 27. I have about 5 other examples.

 

[daproest1]

I al

You MIGHT be right but I doubt it.

You are still failing to realize 2 things:

1.) She felt like dumping you MONTHS ago. She just recently acted upon it. Lack of attraction became lack of respect which means she dumped you. That didnt start recently. Its started MONTHS ago. You were just a dead man walking in her eyes.

2.) She dumped you AFTER she had dudes lined up. Take that to the bank. I dont care what anyone tells you in her social circle. You just said that they all knew (her family and friends) but didnt say anything to you. They probably dont know who the new dude(s) is/are but him/they will be revealed soon enough.

So what if you did what you were supposed to do and agreed with the break up, moved on, etc and then she came back after a few weeks or month? Would you trust her again? No because she did this once and she is more than capable of doing it again. Would you respect her? No because she didnt care when she dumped you. Would you believe what she said to you? No because her actions already trumped her words.

Why would you want to take that type of chick back? When the water is poisoned you have to stop trying to drink it bro.

I also forgot to mention in my first reply to this comment, that she wasn’t sure. She said there were things that needed to be worked thru. The more she saw I cared, the more sure she became of her decision. That’s why I say bienin hindsight that if I would’ve just bowed out immediately, her own hamster wheel anxiety would’ve been kicked into overdrive. Thus causing a rapid return, apology, etc.

 

[Glassguy]

I al

I also forgot to mention in my first reply to this comment, that she wasn’t sure. She said there were things that needed to be worked thru. The more she saw I cared, the more sure she became of her decision. That’s why I say bienin hindsight that if I would’ve just bowed out immediately, her own hamster wheel anxiety would’ve been kicked into overdrive. Thus causing a rapid return, apology, etc.

You have a lot to learn bud. Stop focusing on what she told you and start focusing on what she did to you (dumped you).

 

[RickTheToad]

Alright so this is a bit of a taboo topic around the SS forums, but there has to be a way to pull it off.

I want my ex back. Yeah yeah, I know my energy is better spent elsewhere. Attracting new women, etc. But this was supposed to be my wife and I can’t shake this feeling.

Spaz already gave me some good advice. Mostly to just improve myself and wait it out. Which I’m working on currently.

Background info:
-we were together (no break ups) for almost 6 years

-I maintained frame the entire time

-I’m now 31 she’s now 27. I taught her everything she knows.

-I was focused too much on my business and took her for granted for too long.

-I don’t want kids, she doesn’t either

-did a lot of AFC **** post break up. Pleaded, asked for another chance. Wrote a letter. Spoke to her parents, etc. Yes I know I should be slapped. I was devastated and not in my right mind at the time.

-I’m blocked on her phone (no I didn’t go psycho on her. I didn’t blow her phone up or anything like that. I think she did this as a coping mechanism).

-she’s a 10 physically. Not materialistic. Always supportive. Her own career. Great girl. The list goes on. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl. She actually helped me build my business up. I was a bartender at nightclubs when we met.

-she wanted marriage. I’d always tip toe or argue my way around the subject. Just due to immaturity on my part. Didn’t realize how old we were getting.

-friends and family got in her ear unbeknownst to me.

-we don’t share the same social circles. The only ins I have are her mom, dad, and one friend. Or showing up at one of her jobs (which I have not done, nor do I think I should do).

-it has been 5 months since the break up. Last contact was 2 months ago in late February and early March.

-I treated her like **** for a while. Mostly neglect. NOT abuse or anything like that. I didn’t mean to be the way that I was, I was just under a lot of stress.

-this is the girl I want to spend my life with.

-my expectations of her were too high. Now that I’ve come across Rollo’s work I can see what happened. I expected something that women aren’t capable of giving.

If there’s any expert at all that could help me with this, I’d appreciate it. Again, i got some pretty good advice from Spaz but it was mostly just to read the entire DJ bible (which I did), and to just make my life awesome and wait for her.

She’s never been single for very long. She’s gorgeous. I was her 4th. Met her when she was 21.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I’ve solved a lot of problems that seemed impossible to overcome in my life before, but this is by far the most complex since the variable here is another human being.

-Al

Wow. You need a lot of work dude.

1) Read The Rational Male
2) Read The Book of Pook
3) Read The DJ Bible
4) Read The Tactical Guide to Women
5) Read No More Mr. Nice Guy

Watch:
1) The Red Man Group
2) Rollo Tomassi
3) Entrepreneurs In Cars
4) Red Pill Coach
5) Aaron Clarey

Work on yourself. Keep your mind busy with new hobbies and activities. Learn the guitar, take up martial arts, learn golf, work out. Work on your frame. It will take time, but this will get easier. Over time, it will not hurt as much when a relationship breaks down.

 

[Alvafe]

I’m not arrogant or delusional. Just trying to make sense of it all. I’m open to any and all feedback, criticism (constructive or otherwise). Is just like a solution where there seems to be none I guess. Other than moving on and crossing my fingers.

here is the deal there is no sense, no way to prevent, you can predict the outcome based on facts but even so you can be wrong, and to tell the truth the less you can predict easier will be you to be happy

just take a deep breath and move on there is nothing to undertand other then its over and there was nothing to do, only do better next time

just keep in mind to never trust what a woman say, just act and judge based on what she do

 

[daproest1]

Ibe

Wow. You need a lot of work dude.

1) Read The Rational Male
2) Read The Book of Pook
3) Read The DJ Bible
4) Read The Tactical Guide to Women
5) Read No More Mr. Nice Guy

Watch:
1) The Red Man Group
2) Rollo Tomassi
3) Entrepreneurs In Cars
4) Red Pill Coach
5) Aaron Clarey

Work on yourself. Keep your mind busy with new hobbies and activities. Learn the guitar, take up martial arts, learn golf, work out. Work on your frame. It will take time, but this will get easier. Over time, it will not hurt as much when a relationship breaks down.

I’ve done all of this. I wouldn’t have stumbled across this website if it wasn’t for rollo mentioning it. The book of pook I just came across thanks to spaz making me do homework. I regularly watch those YouTube channels as well.... which is part of the reason I fvcuked up the marriage thing up lol although to be honest the laws aren’t that bad in FL... and there’s always a way to separate and funnel assets and such so that they are untouchable. Which of course, I didn’t realize until later.

Please understand that I NEVER made her the center of my world. I NEVER stopped pursuing my own hobbies and interests. I didn’t commit the classic mistakes guys make until I went into “hyper chase beta mode” post BU (best phrase ever btw). She came into MY world happily, willingly, and faithfully for years. She helped me with everything. My word was law to her... until it wasn’t. Hard to find women like that in this day and age. Young with few notches, submissive, etc. She just wanted to be around me. So I did everything right, but too right... to the point where it was wrong and bordering on neglect. There has to be a little give and take. She spent a lot time and a lot of energy proving to me that she was wife material (which she was) and I just didn’t act on it. Partly due to absent mindedness, (lack of examples of married couples in my own life), partly due to beginning stages of RP awareness, and partly due to to my lack of LTR experience.

Blahhhh. Women are weird.

I want you guys To know that I appreciate everyone taking the time to chime in. Whether harshly, or kindly, doesn’t matter. I’m well aware that none of you are obligated to show any concern whatsoever, and yet you do. And for that, I’m grateful.

A lot of this was due to my own shyt which makes it all the more annoying to me. Hence the ruminating. All issues that could be easily overcome if given the opportunity. A lot of which I’ve overcome already. The ones that are in my control at least.

 

[Glassguy]

I didn’t give her a key to my new place, the marriage thing

So you stood by what you wanted and DIDNT change your end game for her. Were you supposed to drop what you wanted out of life to keep her around? Enlighten me please.

Its like the woman who wants kids and the man who is against it. Ticking time bomb no matter how hard you try to remedy it. At the end of the day it will not work over time.

I was hyper focused on my business. One track mind guy stuff, u know how it is. Some of it was due to health issues on my end which I’ve since addressed. Wasn’t aware at the time.

So you were taking care of you, your business, etc. That was her excuse? If thats the case I call BS. Another dude in the chicken coop.

 

[Kotaix]

Yeah. Spaz said the same thing. I agree. But how? She’d just.... pop up magically? The btch wants to be a wife. And I’m sure someone will give her that NOW that she’s grown and not a spoiled kid anymore. She always stays in relationships for YEARS. Guy before me, 5 years. Guy before that, 2. She’s been at it since she was 14.

Ok... Here's the simple answer: Be a fvcking man!

Case in point:
One of my coworkers is one of the cutest, nicest and fairest women I have ever met. Tail like a gorram georgia peach. She had a bf of years and the guy she's marrying in a month just walked up to her and told her to ditch her loser boyfriend because she should be with him. She did just that. He's a green beret and is funny and goofy. He let her believe that he sold cracker jacks as a job for three months before she figured out he was in the army.

Here's the catch: You can't fake that kind of confidence. You have to actually believe you're manly and confident, and I'm not seeing it because of all the

You did something to lose her, and you need to figure out what that was and fix it. And you need to sort yourself out first. Date other women, get your confidence back up and then just go find her and say "I want you back"

Time to scheisse, or get off the crapper, my dude.

 

[speed dawg]

Well good luck to her. She knew me enough to know that hints don’t work all that well on me. She knew me enough to know I don’t like feeling forced to do anything. If I did, id get a 9-5 like everyone else. Not my fault she bottled shyt up for so long

So you are trying to change reality? Women communicate the way they communicate, it is what it is. Pinning a woman down and trying to have a logical conversation with her will never work. No wonder her IL dropped. You were probably failing sh*t tests like a pro too.

 

[daproest1]

So you stood by what you wanted and DIDNT change your end game for her. Were you supposed to drop what you wanted out of life to keep her around? Enlighten me please.

Its like the woman who wants kids and the man who is against it. Ticking time bomb no matter how hard you try to remedy it. At the end of the day it will not work over time.



So you were taking care of you, your business, etc. That was her excuse? If thats the case I call BS. Another dude in the chicken coop.

No no, it’s not that I didn’t want it... it just didn’t even occur to me!! Again, first LTR. I don’t do LTRs.

And no. That wasn’t her excuse. That’s mine. U have to spend time with your chick. I was just fine barely seeing her. I Didn’t notice. She’d chase me for my time. Not the other way around. The thing is when you work from home on a computer all day, with little to no social interaction, days blend together. Days become months. As much as I enjoy my solitude, human beings are social animals. Not good for our mental state to be alone all the time.

 

[daproest1]

Ok... Here's the simple answer: Be a fvcking man!

Case in point:
One of my coworkers is one of the cutest, nicest and fairest women I have ever met. Tail like a gorram georgia peach. She had a bf of years and the guy she's marrying in a month just walked up to her and told her to ditch her loser boyfriend because she should be with him. She did just that. He's a green beret and is funny and goofy. He let her believe that he sold cracker jacks as a job for three months before she figured out he was in the army.

Here's the catch: You can't fake that kind of confidence. You have to actually believe you're manly and confident, and I'm not seeing it because of all the

You did something to lose her, and you need to figure out what that was and fix it. And you need to sort yourself out first. Date other women, get your confidence back up and then just go find her and say "I want you back"

Time to scheisse, or get off the crapper, my dude.

That simple huh?