Ok let me answer the second question first. After seeing this ****ty behavior I DONT want her back. It’s only when I dwell on MY OWN ****ty behavior (that I can honestly say she did NOT deserve) that I consider it..... fair....ish.
Ok, so consider yourselves even then.
As far as what I think would bring her back, if she would just hang out with me, in my house for like an hour or 2, my own way of being would make her fall right back in. She herself admitted that was part of the reason she was avoiding me first. She knew that if she just came to see me, her emotions would take over her logic.
Check out Coach Craig Kenneth on YouTube. Licesnced psychotherapist, behavior analysist, and relationship coach. He will tell you, thet EVERY man thinks this after a breakup. (including me - you know my sitch.) It doesn't work. What works is space, time and distance. She needs to miss you, not see you, hear from you. She needs time for her imagination to dream up all the nasty scenarios of where you are, who you are with, and what positions you are fukkking them in. Seriously.
And logically, in her mind, it goes a little like this:
He’s not gonna change. He doesn’t wanna marry me. He’s negative. He’s always annoyed by me no matter what I do... and he doesn’t wanna spend time with me.
Little does she know that this break up was needed for me to wake up a bit. I was in a fog. We all have those periods in life where we fall into a funk. I was in a funk for a year or 2. And my rational logical brain can explain it all. But her female emotional brain, cannot. She just “wasn’t happy”. Nobody can make another “happy”. Happiness comes from within. I was not happy. Had nothing to do with her though. Then again I’m never happy. I’m like a grumpy old dude. In a funny way. Always have been. But it got worse due to certain circumstances.
Intuitively I know every couple is gonna have ups and downs. U can’t just give up. But my generation (fvckin millennials) give up right away. And where I live it’s worse. Miami FL.
I still feel your absolute best bet is no contact. Assume it is over, act like it is over and never contact her again. If I were you, and I saw her in person, I wouldn't even speak, nod or look her way. You might be surprised, but a "slap in the face" so to speak, like this, might be exactly what it takes to wake her up (if she ever will).
As far as "giving up"? There is NOTHING you can "do". The only thing you can do, is nothing. Move on. Act as if she is dead to you. Ironically, if anything will bring her back around, it is this.
That's my take. But it is a very interesting story, I will be following one way or the other.