Want my ex gf back.

[daproest1]

^^^
These are wise words. Their biological clock will start hammering at their uterus at some point in life. I got this verbatim from my best friend who doesn't want kids, and was involved with the wrong guy for it at the time even if she had, but she did feel it happen in her early 30s (41 now) and it was very difficult for her to fight. Not wanting children is almost "fashionable" these days, but I'm not sure you can deny the animal brain without a penalty to your psyche.

Pining over the woman you lost will get you absolutely nothing except pity from her, and misery in your own head. I'd know, I've done it.

Do NOT date women your age. Spin multiple plates with women who are young enough not to be jaded/bitter and pick the best one to put in the china cabinet. You're in absolutely prime position to do so, and you need to spin plates to adopt the correct mindset. YOU are the prize, not them. And if you're not, you need to start working towards it.

There is no catch 22, all women are capable of dumping your ass regardless of their age. women in their 30s are usually looking for a provider after riding the c0ck carousel and have even less patience for mistakes because they know they're about to hit the wall; whereas young women are in it for fun, and possibly marriage if you find the right one.

....I don’t want kids. That won’t change.

 

[Spaz]

Perhaps. This is nothing compared to a few months ago.

Nothing makes much sense to you now, as you are experiencing some strong emotions.

Get a grip/control on that emotions buddy if not those emotions can sabotage you from doing what's needed to be done.

 

[daproest1]

Nothing makes much sense to you now, as you are experiencing some strong emotions.

Get a grip/control on that emotions buddy if not those emotions can sabotage you from doing what's needed to be done.

I’m doing the stuff. Since we PMd, I’ve tripled my sales per day. I never stopped lifting, so that’s not an issue. I still have the plates, and although I barely want to see them, I had one over 2 nights ago. But I feel like I’m missing something. Just “waiting” for her to wake up seems retarded.

 

[Spaz]

I’m doing the stuff. Since we PMd, I’ve tripled my sales per day. I never stopped lifting, so that’s not an issue. I still have the plates, and although I barely want to see them, I had one over 2 nights ago. But I feel like I’m missing something. Just “waiting” for her to wake up seems retarded.

You do know that deviation and any further contacts will almost guarantee failure on ur part?

 

[Black Sunshine]

Alright so this is a bit of a taboo topic around the SS forums, but there has to be a way to pull it off.

I want my ex back. Yeah yeah, I know my energy is better spent elsewhere. Attracting new women, etc. But this was supposed to be my wife and I can’t shake this feeling.

Spaz already gave me some good advice. Mostly to just improve myself and wait it out. Which I’m working on currently.

Background info:
-we were together (no break ups) for almost 6 years

-I maintained frame the entire time

-I’m now 31 she’s now 27. I taught her everything she knows.

-I was focused too much on my business and took her for granted for too long.

-I don’t want kids, she doesn’t either

-did a lot of AFC **** post break up. Pleaded, asked for another chance. Wrote a letter. Spoke to her parents, etc. Yes I know I should be slapped. I was devastated and not in my right mind at the time.

-I’m blocked on her phone (no I didn’t go psycho on her. I didn’t blow her phone up or anything like that. I think she did this as a coping mechanism).

-she’s a 10 physically. Not materialistic. Always supportive. Her own career. Great girl. The list goes on. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl. She actually helped me build my business up. I was a bartender at nightclubs when we met.

-she wanted marriage. I’d always tip toe or argue my way around the subject. Just due to immaturity on my part. Didn’t realize how old we were getting.

-friends and family got in her ear unbeknownst to me.

-we don’t share the same social circles. The only ins I have are her mom, dad, and one friend. Or showing up at one of her jobs (which I have not done, nor do I think I should do).

-it has been 5 months since the break up. Last contact was 2 months ago in late February and early March.

-I treated her like **** for a while. Mostly neglect. NOT abuse or anything like that. I didn’t mean to be the way that I was, I was just under a lot of stress.

-this is the girl I want to spend my life with.

-my expectations of her were too high. Now that I’ve come across Rollo’s work I can see what happened. I expected something that women aren’t capable of giving.

If there’s any expert at all that could help me with this, I’d appreciate it. Again, i got some pretty good advice from Spaz but it was mostly just to read the entire DJ bible (which I did), and to just make my life awesome and wait for her.

She’s never been single for very long. She’s gorgeous. I was her 4th. Met her when she was 21.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I’ve solved a lot of problems that seemed impossible to overcome in my life before, but this is by far the most complex since the variable here is another human being.

-Al

may I ask a question/ Are you mad? At her ? Youself. I have the same feelings but end the end i really do see it was my fault. i was a jerk...She says she wants me in her life and to let her know when i am back in town....Some here told me to man up and do that... be direct. But it seems like chasing and i don't want to do that...I realize3d that i was a moron and became angry at mysekf...She put it out there and I dropped the ball.
Sadly i have learned there is NOTHING you can do just leave her alone. She made the UNILATERAL decision to leave...
You have to become a better man and may have to chalk it up to experience... At this point do nothing at all but live life...
I know it's hard with talk of marriage and all and it just goes "poof' but SHE has to come back...

 

[sosousage]

why do you want to deal with girl who along with her family and friends see you as beta? just drop. new girls wont know u a beta

 

[daproest1]

may I ask a question/ Are you mad? At her ? Youself. I have the same feelings but end the end i really do see it was my fault. i was a jerk...She says she wants me in her life and to let her know when i am back in town....Some here told me to man up and do that... be direct. But it seems like chasing and i don't want to do that...I realize3d that i was a moron and became angry at mysekf...She put it out there and I dropped the ball.
Sadly i have learned there is NOTHING you can do just leave her alone. She made the UNILATERAL decision to leave...
You have to become a better man and may have to chalk it up to experience... At this point do nothing at all but live life...
I know it's hard with talk of marriage and all and it just goes "poof' but SHE has to come back...

Mad at myself

 

[daproest1]

why do you want to deal with girl who along with her family and friends see you as beta? just drop. new girls wont know u a beta

On the contrary. They see me as a POS. She cried over me for a year while still being with me. I had no idea. She pretended everything was fine with me. But later her mom told me.

 

[Black Sunshine]

Mad at myself

I know how hard it is...wish I had this website years ago...But you understand that all you can do is improve yourself, and let things mellow out. I got the "my friends" thing too... all you can do is be better...Immerse yourself in your life...learn from your mistakes. Be so good that you make her friends look stupid...

 

[daproest1]

I know how hard it is...wish I had this website years ago...But you understand that all you can do is improve yourself, and let things mellow out. I got the "my friends" thing too... all you can do is be better...Immerse yourself in your life...learn from your mistakes. Be so good that you make her friends look stupid...
[/

I guess

 

[Kotaix]

She was the right one.

If you can truly learn from what this has taught you and improve yourself for your own self's sake and not just to make her jealous so she wants you back, you might actually get a chance to get her back. You need to let her go. Can you dig it?

 

[Spaz]

If you can truly learn from what this has taught you and improve yourself for your own self's sake and not just to make her jealous so she wants you back, you might actually get a chance to get her back. You need to let her go. Can you dig it?

Ironically letting an ex go is exactly what could potentially bring her around provided he has improved by leaps and bounds.

The improvements must cover physicality, intellectualism and spiritualism in a harmonious balance - only then a superior man is born.

 

[Glassguy]

On the contrary. They see me as a POS. She cried over me for a year while still being with me. I had no idea. She pretended everything was fine with me. But later her mom told me.

Wake up dude. She didnt "just" break up with you. She dumped you long ago.

She has been planning this for a long time. You bet she dumped you after she had new guys in the works.

Move on. This one is over. Anything you do now also damages your reputation in the eyes of other women that know her which will impact you with chicks down the road.

 

[Focal core]

Wake up dude. She didnt "just" break up with you. She dumped you long ago.

She has been planning this for a long time. You bet she dumped you after she had new guys in the works.

Move on. This one is over. Anything you do now also damages your reputation in the eyes of other women that know her which will impact you with chicks down the road.

There's a lot of denials in op still believing that shes can't take the pressure from the relationship.. No, what I and @Glassguy telling you that it's was all an acts to dumps you.. Another explanations of why her actions and her mothers words to you doesn't match. That's no brainer to figure out this, it's a simple emotional equation, girls always do this kind of shlt when they wants to dumps a man, it's effective and most of the time the guy always left in confusion wondering what the hell just happened. It's simple as that she doesn't have desire for you anymore.

 

[lamath]

-she wanted marriage. I’d always tip toe or argue my way around the subject. Just due to immaturity on my part. Didn’t realize how old we were getting.

-I treated her like **** for a while. Mostly neglect. NOT abuse or anything like that. I didn’t mean to be the way that I was, I was just under a lot of stress.

-my expectations of her were too high. Now that I’ve come across Rollo’s work I can see what happened. I expected something that women aren’t capable of giving.

Thats AFC minset.

Dont blame yourself, look forward not backward.

Right now only tuing you can do is work o yourself and try to improve your state of mind.

 

[daproest1]

There's a lot of denials in op still believing that shes can't take the pressure from the relationship.. No, what I and @Glassguy telling you that it's was all an acts to dumps you.. Another explanations of why her actions and her mothers words to you doesn't match. That's no brainer to figure out this, it's a simple emotional equation, girls always do this kind of shlt when they wants to dumps a man, it's effective and most of the time the guy always left in confusion wondering what the hell just happened. It's simple as that she doesn't have desire for you anymore.

Oh yeah that part I figured out on my own. The attraction dwindled. What a girl says doesn’t really matter. I know that much. I was just presenting the reasons outlined to me. Again... I had zero relationship game. Always been a pump and dumper FWB kinda guy until her. But with women, attraction is like a volume knob. With us, it’s more like a light switch.

 

[daproest1]

Thats AFC minset.

Dont blame yourself, look forward not backward.

Right now only tuing you can do is work o yourself and try to improve your state of mind.

Working on it. And will continue to do so. Still want her to come back though. She’s not dead. Or married. So it’s not impossible. I’ve overcome and accomplished a lot of shyt in my life that seemed unreasonable and undoable. I don’t believe in impossible.

 

[daproest1]

Wake up dude. She didnt "just" break up with you. She dumped you long ago.

She has been planning this for a long time. You bet she dumped you after she had new guys in the works.

Move on. This one is over. Anything you do now also damages your reputation in the eyes of other women that know her which will impact you with chicks down the road.

I know I can’t “do” anything directly like that. So.... don’t worry about me “doing” anything. I’m moving on physically, but struggling to do so mentally. It was a combination of things. None of which are insurmountable. But again, women don’t “logic”. They just feel.

 

[daproest1]

Ironically letting an ex go is exactly what could potentially bring her around provided he has improved by leaps and bounds.

The improvements must cover physicality, intellectualism and spiritualism in a harmonious balance - only then a superior man is born.

Agreed. Working on it. But is it just magic? Like how would she just “know”?

 

[daproest1]

If you can truly learn from what this has taught you and improve yourself for your own self's sake and not just to make her jealous so she wants you back, you might actually get a chance to get her back. You need to let her go. Can you dig it?

Yeah. Spaz said the same thing. I agree. But how? She’d just.... pop up magically? The btch wants to be a wife. And I’m sure someone will give her that NOW that she’s grown and not a spoiled kid anymore. She always stays in relationships for YEARS. Guy before me, 5 years. Guy before that, 2. She’s been at it since she was 14.