SILENCE and DISTANCE

[guru1000]

"SILENCE and DISTANCE"

Because 'communicaton and closeness' is for non-dysfunctional relationships.

Allow me to assist in your illiteracy:

Silence and distance are not to be confused with avoiding clear communication but rather to be used only when a girl commits an act that is unmistakably tasteless or disrespectful to any observer.

Let us know how communicating and closeness with women who blatantly disrespect you works out for you.

 

[wifehunter]

Allow me to assist in your illiteracy:


Let us know how communicating and closeness with women who blatantly disrespect you works out for you.

Hey, Mr. Smart E. Pants:

I doesn't work, it's dysfunctional.

BROKEN

When things end up with barriers and walls...You'd be better off alone.

If there's no communication, we're done.

 

[guru1000]

Hey, Mr. Smart E. Pants:

I doesn't work, it's dysfunctional.

BROKEN

When things end up with barriers and walls...You'd be better off alone.

If there's no communication, we're done.

I see. So communicating and staying with women who blatantly disrespect you is unbroken and functional. Gotcha.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The point of all this, is why be interested in someone who is not interested in you? Why bother talking to someone who doesn't want to talk to you? Why do things for people who won't do them for you? Pretty simple.

 

[RedScorpion]

Kind of curious on a specific thing. If a girl is being disrespectful (silent treatment), I try reaching out to see what's up, and it still seems like an apparent 'move' on her part... is being silent and distant, + eventually silently removing them from social media (after some time) fit this idea? I always get stuck on what level of 'disappear' is appropriate.

Feels obvious in some respect... but I rather have someone slap me silly with it on here to be sure.

 

[guru1000]

The point of all this, is why be interested in someone who is not interested in you? Why bother talking to someone who doesn't want to talk to you? Why do things for people who won't do them for you? Pretty simple.

Exactly.

S&D simply removes your "two most valuable assets"--time and attention ("T & A")--from an individual who is undeserving of them.

S&D is not:

Game playing;
Employed with the intent to get back at her, "show" her, or bring her around; or
Employed with any other intent other than investing your T & A elsewhere.

S&D is a form of "walking away" but differs to the extent that not only are you removing a disrespectful person from your life, but you are also removing or attempting to remove them from your awareness. Of course, I understand this is easier said than done with people whom you've had longer relations. I notice the greater I train my consciousness ("IT") in how/where to direct its focus, the greater control I have over IT. Directing your consciousness is a similar to working a muscle whereas the more you actively try to work IT, the greater control YOU have over IT.

S&D also differs from "walking away" in that the disrespect committed by the woman may not be groundbreaking that merits an irrevocable hard NEXT, but enough whereas if the person in question returns to redress, you are not violating your self-respect by investing more of your T&A into them. Naturally, I understand the type of disrespect one allows her to redress is entirely subjective and thus S&D should not be employed with the guise of allowing of a woman back into your life who commits toxic behavior. Such a woman deserves a permanent NEXT, not S&D.

S&D differs from Soft Nexting as IT is not a strategy to deliberately "train" or manipulate women with the intent they return "corrected," but rather an exercise of removing your T & A altogether for YOU, not for them and certainly not under the guise to train them, though the ancillary side effect is covert boundary implementation.

Finally S&D is not for a woman to whom you are married, cohabitate with or will see often due to work or personal reasons as removing T&A is no longer possible in such contexts. In these cases, variations of S&D (but not S&D) can be employed which is beyond the scope of this thread.

Kind of curious on a specific thing. If a girl is being disrespectful (silent treatment), I try reaching out to see what's up, and it still seems like an apparent 'move' on her part... is being silent and distant, + eventually silently removing them from social media (after some time) fit this idea? I always get stuck on what level of 'disappear' is appropriate.

Feels obvious in some respect... but I rather have someone slap me silly with it on here to be sure.

Whenever you have a question in how to best employ S&D, ask yourself one simple question: Will doing XYZ invest or withdraw my T & A from them. In this case, removing them from your social media withdraws your T&A from them, and thus is warranted.

 

[Spaz]

S&D and T&A.

Some of you might not realise this but EVERYONE does it in real life.

You apply this in variations throughout your daily lives.

You apply this when interacting with people through your business/working life, social life, personal life etc.

It's a tool that you ARE subconsciously using in variations.

Like all tools, all you need to do is train yourself until u r effective with it - dealings with women.

 

[guru1000]

S&D and T&A.

Some of you might not realise this but EVERYONE does it in real life.

You apply this in variations throughout your daily lives.

You apply this when interacting with people through your business/working life, social life, personal life etc.

It's a tool that you ARE subconsciously using in variations.

Like all tools, all you need to do is train yourself until u r effective with it - dealings with women.

This is true. Whatever you apply your T & A to becomes your life. Guard these two assets carefully. And don't dole them out unnecessarily.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

S&D and T&A.

Some of you might not realise this but EVERYONE does it in real life.

You apply this in variations throughout your daily lives.

You apply this when interacting with people through your business/working life, social life, personal life etc.

It's a tool that you ARE subconsciously using in variations.

Like all tools, all you need to do is train yourself until u r effective with it - dealings with women.

Men have no problem handling this correct when it's another man. But when it's a woman they allow this boundaries to be overrun and deal with a great deal of disrespect.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is true. Whatever you apply your T & A to becomes your life. Guard these two assets carefully. And don't dole them out unnecessarily.

When you give your T&A to low interest or low respect female. It lowers your attractiveness and self respect.

 

[wifehunter]

Men have no problem handling this correct when it's another man. But when it's a woman they allow this boundaries to be overrun and deal with a great deal of disrespect.

"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls."

 

[TheProspect]

Had a situation the other day which reminded me of this thread and so I searched it up and re-read it. Thought it was worth a bump and would provide some useful information for some of the newer members.

Good contributions to the topic by @guru1000, @Spaz, @Glassguy, @BeExcellent, and @fastlife.

This is one of the few threads that has stuck with me, not only in my dealings with women, but with people in general.

S&D should be part of every man's arsenal.

 

[soulforge]

The strongest weapon in your artillery is knowing when and how to apply silence and distance (and in some cases disappearance).

Girl flakes on a date. Silence and disappearance.

Girl declines with no counteroffer or changes the subject in response to your date offer. Silence and disappearance.

Girl accuses you of using her as a FB or pushes for exclusivity. Silence and distance.

Girl gives you an inappropriate attitude, a snide or disrespectful remark. Silence and distance.

I cannot tell you how the number of instances I have experienced of women backpedaling in the above contexts following my employing silence and distance/disappearance.

In any social situation you find yourself in, when a girl oversteps her bounds, silence and distance/disappearance, if employed correctly, will tip the frame into your favor assuming there is just enough interest on her end.

You will not lose frame by employing silence and distance/disappearance, but you can lose frame by reacting or by responding incorrectly.

Silence and distance create room for her imagination to ignite, engage her fight or flight response, and incite her second-guessing and backpedaling.

Silence and distance forge “the” frame in your favor and set the precedence that you WILL walk away if you are not content with her behavior.

Silence and distance send the message that you are accepting of only her best behavior and if she has a grievance to raise the issue overtly for discussion as opposed to undermining you.

Silence and distance amplify attraction, as attraction is built not in the time spent together, but in time spent apart.

Silence and distance allow you to gauge her emotional investment because if she doesn’t reach out to you, she merits no further engagement.

Silence and distance set boundaries covertly, so that she doesn’t feel ordered and resentful that you are controlling/commanding her as she might by overt boundaries.

Silence and distance are not game playing. You are responding covertly to behavior you deem unfitting which sends the message louder and clearer than any possible overt response.

Silence and distance are not to be confused with avoiding clear communication but rather to be used only when a girl commits an act that is unmistakably tasteless or disrespectful to any observer.

Silence and distance, in the right context, are the single most powerful act you can commit in your relations with women.

This is brilliant.. However I am having to apply silence & distance to a girl from my work place, who sees me around daily & on the odd occasion will ask me a question or two.

All that being said, all non work related attention has been removed & I give her no more of my time.

She is already noticing my distance & seems to be getting angry lol

The rejection is getting to her, as she did reach out & send me a text message, however the message was a lame attempt to suck me back into communicating with her..

I am certain upto 85% that this girl will drop off for good, as she is the proud type who rather play games & never make a genuine effort, which is a good result for me, as I get rid of the low quality woman from my life

 

[Glassguy]

Had a situation the other day which reminded me of this thread and so I searched it up and re-read it. Thought it was worth a bump and would provide some useful information for some of the newer members.

Good contributions to the topic by @guru1000, @Spaz, @Glassguy, @BeExcellent, and @fastlife.

This is one of the few threads that has stuck with me, not only in my dealings with women, but with people in general.

S&D should be part of every man's arsenal.

I would go as far as saying that S&D shouldnt just be a part of every man's aresenal, it should BE the arsenal.

Men should not waste time arguing with a woman. There is no respect in doing that. Just more respect lost.
Men should not "negotiate" a woman deciding to see him, there is no respect in that either. More respect lost.
Men should not try to talk to a woman who has been disrespectful (cheating, embarrassing him in front of other people, etc). There is no respect in that. All respect is gone.

Simply. Walk. Away.

Nothing NEEDS to be said as your ACTIONS say everything the chick needs to hear from you. You are a man with high standards and when someone crosses the line (relationships, friendships, partnerships, business, etc) you walk away.

Its OK to leave people wondering. Most of the time the person didnt respect the man to begin with when things like this happens.

In life, you should be surrounding yourself with people who CARE about you as a person and people who RESPECT you and do not act disrespectful towards you because of that MUTUAL respect.

Too many men want to cry around, fix the relationship, talk sense into a woman.....these things NEVER work because you are giving even more power to the woman in the relationship that is doomed anyways.

To top it off, nearly EVERY woman I have just walked away from, as in dust in the wind/vanishing in thin air, has reached back out to me at some point in time wanting to get together.

The few times I have ever negotiated or tried to work out a semi serious issue, they were gone for good when it ended.

Agreed that this is a good thread. One of the better ones over the past several years. Kudos to the others that chimed in this thread and brought good information to it.

 

[Machine10033]

The strongest weapon in your artillery is knowing when and how to apply silence and distance (and in some cases disappearance).

Girl flakes on a date. Silence and disappearance.

Girl declines with no counteroffer or changes the subject in response to your date offer. Silence and disappearance.

Girl accuses you of using her as a FB or pushes for exclusivity. Silence and distance.

Girl gives you an inappropriate attitude, a snide or disrespectful remark. Silence and distance.

I cannot tell you how the number of instances I have experienced of women backpedaling in the above contexts following my employing silence and distance/disappearance.

In any social situation you find yourself in, when a girl oversteps her bounds, silence and distance/disappearance, if employed correctly, will tip the frame into your favor assuming there is just enough interest on her end.

You will not lose frame by employing silence and distance/disappearance, but you can lose frame by reacting or by responding incorrectly.

Silence and distance create room for her imagination to ignite, engage her fight or flight response, and incite her second-guessing and backpedaling.

Silence and distance forge “the” frame in your favor and set the precedence that you WILL walk away if you are not content with her behavior.

Silence and distance send the message that you are accepting of only her best behavior and if she has a grievance to raise the issue overtly for discussion as opposed to undermining you.

Silence and distance amplify attraction, as attraction is built not in the time spent together, but in time spent apart.

Silence and distance allow you to gauge her emotional investment because if she doesn’t reach out to you, she merits no further engagement.

Silence and distance set boundaries covertly, so that she doesn’t feel ordered and resentful that you are controlling/commanding her as she might by overt boundaries.

Silence and distance are not game playing. You are responding covertly to behavior you deem unfitting which sends the message louder and clearer than any possible overt response.

Silence and distance are not to be confused with avoiding clear communication but rather to be used only when a girl commits an act that is unmistakably tasteless or disrespectful to any observer.

Silence and distance, in the right context, are the single most powerful act you can commit in your relations with women.

One time I went back to a girls apartment and something wasn’t sitting right in my guts... used her bathroom and the toilet clogged... reached for the plunger... and there was none.... turned on the faucet... creeped out.. and left.... silence and distance! Worked like a charm she wouldn’t stop calling me

 

[soulforge]

Can silence & distance be applied within the work office environment , for example if she sees you every day at work

I suppose it's possible to maintain normal work colleague type relationship, with a simple hello etc when you pass each other...

Other than that. Remove all attention of any kind & the only communication should be work related & nothing beyond that.

 

[Glassguy]

Bottom line- don't give people your attention or space in your head that don't deserve it through their words and actions.

 

[Spaz]

Had a situation the other day which reminded me of this thread and so I searched it up and re-read it. Thought it was worth a bump and would provide some useful information for some of the newer members.

Good contributions to the topic by @guru1000, @Spaz, @Glassguy, @BeExcellent, and @fastlife.

This is one of the few threads that has stuck with me, not only in my dealings with women, but with people in general.

S&D should be part of every man's arsenal.

I thought I was banned, looks like I'm wrong.

As for you young man.

Besides this, a man should 1st and foremost learn how to be a monster.

Well not just a tiny weeny monster but a great one.

Then learn how to and when to apply it, when to put it to sleep and when to awaken it.

You people here have so much rules that chain ur minds.

I don't know whether to pity yall or just leave yall.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is brilliant.. However I am having to apply silence & distance to a girl from my work place, who sees me around daily & on the odd occasion will ask me a question or two.

All that being said, all non work related attention has been removed & I give her no more of my time.

She is already noticing my distance & seems to be getting angry lol

The rejection is getting to her, as she did reach out & send me a text message, however the message was a lame attempt to suck me back into communicating with her..

I am certain upto 85% that this girl will drop off for good, as she is the proud type who rather play games & never make a genuine effort, which is a good result for me, as I get rid of the low quality woman from my life

It all boils down to she isn't interested enough anymore.

 

[Spaz]

They watch too many red-pillers on YouTube.

Haha.

Aside to this, lemme ask you and everyone else a serious question, would u consider urself to be a man who is easily triggered?

If no, what's the benefit?

If yes, what's the benefit?