you arent quite the catch you think you are then...What I'm telling you is I'm getting blown out immediately
you arent quite the catch you think you are then...What I'm telling you is I'm getting blown out immediately
His could be severe mental illness that he doesn’t know aboutWomen "need" different things hence what women need is an oxymoron. Notwithstanding, there are shared characteristics of what most women need insofar as indoctrinated needs are inculcated by the society we share.
It's clear if you can't attract any women, you are not meeting certain needs. Yes, SMV (looks, status, wealth) are primary for most women, but if you still can't attract despite having high SMV, then you are seriously deficient in her other needs, so much so that your SMV carries no weight. Only you know where the deficiency lies. Further, I bet you are already aware of the deficiency, but have too much ego to name or surrender it.
OK let's start here. These are your standards. No problem here. Perfectly rational normal standards. If what you say about yourself and your looks and accomplishments is in fact true, this shouldn't be a terribly tall order.I'm not going to sacrifice my standards- I want the female equivalent of myself - a good looking, classy, intelligent, professional, in shape woman with no kids who is mid to late 20s
Notice how you have just disqualified yourself from your own standards. Read that again. That's right. You are self-sabotaging and then having a pity party about it. You need to work on this sense of "lack" and unworthiness that you suffer from. Women have radar that pick up that vibe like sharks following a blood trail from miles away. Until you think you are worthy of your own standards...you'll get the same results you have been getting....those women on dating sites are looking for male models and movie stars. They are not looking for me...I never get any signs of interest from anybody close to my league
Naturally. Because water seeks its own level. This is the vibe you are putting out, that these types are what you are worth due to your own self-limiting beliefs (that you are not white enough *read - not good enough*, that you live in the wrong area, etc. etc. etc.) Until you decide you are worth your standards, you won't find anybody who meets that standard....in terms of real life dating, I get signs of interest sometimes from skanks and obese women and cougars.
...and yet you are clearly miserable, having your sh!t together is predominantly an internal thing btw.- great friends and family
- easily top 10% of men in looks - probably more like top 3%. Great physique, handsome face, super sharp fashion sense
- make 200K a year at age 29 (which puts me somewhere in top 0.05% for under 30)
- great lifestyle - travel all over the country
- great hobbies/interests that I really enjoy
Arrogance is a major kill, irrespective of SMV. I too fall victim to blowouts for the same reason at times.The funny thing is, I know a guy from New Jersey (lol) exactly like OP.
H O R R I B L E personality for attracting women(guys don't mind chilling with him but we clown him constantly), pathological arrogant liar, and he too dates older gold digger types only(but they are hot bc he has very high LMS).
But you said you are not 9-10 white face model, which is what you say women want, so that's not the top 10%. If you were really the top 10% you wouldn't have a problem.Women don't automatically come to you because you have your sh*t together. It's absolute nonsense
I've been working obsessively hard at improving myself last 10 years and I have had absolutely horrific dating life...I can't even remember my last date. Go down the list here
- great friends and family
- easily top 10% of men in looks - probably more like top 3%. Great physique, handsome face, super sharp fashion sense
...and you are on here complaining? Why don't you put an ad on the newspaper -- single guy making $ 200K per year and needs a woman to help him spend it, call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx. Problem solved.bigdave17 said:- make 200K a year at age 29 (which puts me somewhere in top 0.05% for under 30)
What about other countries where women would date you to get a green card?bigdave17 said:- great lifestyle - travel all over the country
X-box?bigdave17 said:- great hobbies/interests that I really enjoy
In 10 years you have some rags to riches story, all of a sudden hit the jackpot in looks, wealth, and status and women aren't lining up? FAIL!bigdave17 said:You guys need to stop telling people who are struggling with their lives to take care of themselves and women automatically come. All these things are separate entities. We have got to stop misleading people into thinking that if they fix their lives that dating somehow becomes easier. Dating is not easy until you are in your late 30s and 40s and you're approaching much older women (assuming you're a good looking man in great shape. Older women love me because they can't get super handsome young men anymore so I become a much more rare item. For younger girls, I am a dime a dozen so there is no value there).
High smv can get you laid. They won't care about subtstance on a one night stand.Women "need" different things hence what women need is an oxymoron. Notwithstanding, there are shared characteristics of what most women need insofar as indoctrinated needs are inculcated by the society we share.
It's clear if you can't attract any women, you are not meeting certain needs. Yes, SMV (looks, status, wealth) are primary for most women, but if you still can't attract despite having high SMV, then you are seriously deficient in her other needs, so much so that your SMV carries no weight. Only you know where the deficiency lies. Further, I bet you are already aware of the deficiency, but have too much ego to name or surrender it.
Advice from the old lady:
OK let's start here. These are your standards. No problem here. Perfectly rational normal standards. If what you say about yourself and your looks and accomplishments is in fact true, this shouldn't be a terribly tall order.
Notice how you have just disqualified yourself from your own standards. Read that again. That's right. You are self-sabotaging and then having a pity party about it. You need to work on this sense of "lack" and unworthiness that you suffer from. Women have radar that pick up that vibe like sharks following a blood trail from miles away. Until you think you are worthy of your own standards...you'll get the same results you have been getting.
Notice also how you have pre-emptively decided what some woman is or is not looking for. Completely irrational. You are not the arbiter of the choices any other human being makes. But you know all because you are arrogant that way.
Naturally. Because water seeks its own level. This is the vibe you are putting out, that these types are what you are worth due to your own self-limiting beliefs (that you are not white enough *read - not good enough*, that you live in the wrong area, etc. etc. etc.) Until you decide you are worth your standards, you won't find anybody who meets that standard.
And don't get me started about location. Catch an Uber or get in your car and go where the action is for the market segment you'd like to meet. That's laziness, pure and simple.
You do have an "Arrogant Ass Hole" vibe at least in what you write around here. That translates into a standoffishness that is incongruent with how you feel about yourself inside, and that inconsistency also broadcasts itself to women.
Being an ass hole is not all bad...but you are better off being seen as a "Likeable Ass Hole" with an unapologetic sexual undercurrent. Chances are you aren't terribly far off from that, but you are not going to get there unless and until you deal with your sense of not being good enough.
It's a subtle but enormous difference between killing it and killing time.
I can't let anybody know how lonely and frustrated I amThis sounds very passive-aggressive. Don't bottle that stuff up. Be assertive. If you don't like the way something is going whether it be conversation, a project, a date, whatever...speak up and do something about it. Screw what people think.
Why don't you just go to Thailand or the Dominican Republics or Brazil or the Philippines and find some girls there?
You know what's sad?Arrogance is a major kill, irrespective of SMV. I too fall victim to blowouts for the same reason at times.
I was in a bad mood the other night and went on a first date. I got into an argument with the girl in the first five minutes. After a blowout, we stopped talking for a few minutes and just sat there. I was about to walk out but I found the dynamic quite interesting so I broke the silence with, "Hungry?" We started talking again and I asked her, "What was her problem initially?" She stated I was super-aggressive and overly-c0cky, when I met her, so she fed me like energy.
I was completely unaware of my energy. Reminds me of the OP.
Pretty much.OLD is to a large degree for folks who can't compete IRL
so approach a 100 women in hopes that 1 likes you...for the 1 in 100 chance that the 1 is what I want (a mid to late 20s, cute, classy, mature professional, in shape, no smoking, genuinely great person, mediterranean/ethnic looking woman with no kids)Sure. Hot women get more male attention every day all day than they can begin to manage. Most of that attention is unwanted and to be honest wastes a horrendous amount of time just to sort it.
For that reason you are better off live in real life. If you go somewhere that the types of women you want to meet hang out...and you are friendly and cool, your success rate will increase.
I'm not into marathon runners. I'm into women who have that brazilian fitness model look - thick legs, fat ass, etc... I'm not a skinny guy either - I'm about 5'10 196, look sorta like a pro football fullback or linebacker.For you? Take up running enough to run at least 1 5K per month. Stick around & chat afterwards with other runners.
That's the type environment your archetype girls are going to be in.
explainThe men I meet get into sets in real life too.
that's the thing. The only place I really see a large amount of women I like is the gym, where the difficulty level is impossibly high. Those women at the gym get hit on 2582305823052085802898935820 times a day, what are the odds that they would like me enough to want to go out with me? 1 in 100,000?Get to the venues where your environment is target rich, be cool and chill & unapologetic about your masculine nature & your results will change.
it's not about too easyPretty much.
Like I say, OLD is "too easy", and anything that's too easy in life....usually has no value.