BPD's can control their behavior…they choose not to

[exhausted]

Can confirm. 2 years seems to be the magic marker. It doenst matter how many relatively sound minded women you smash in those 2 years it just seems they will always be at the forefront of your mind for that duration.

It's like serving a 2 year prison sentence for all the bad **** you did in your life and all the times you treated girlfriends badly. Karma turns full circle and this becomes your penance. Take it and use it to make yourself stronger and more aware. Share your experiences with others 'selectively' and you will never have to deal with one of these women again!

Remember that they came into our lives to deliver a message and if we fail to receive that message then a worse version of her will be waiting for us further down the line.

It's painful. It's Hell! But is essential in order to free us of our childhood wounds and to set Karma at balance.

I'm tired of messages and hurt and pain and misery.
This last npd has been a mind fuxk. How in the world can someone you give so much to have NO ability to aknowledge or take responsibility in any way?
The girl would decline things then complain of things shes not getting by declining.
The girl gave NOTHING i mean NOTHING juat took and took yet complained of not getting more. Silence when i brought it up.


These people just torture you for no reason.

 

[btownbuck2012]

These people just torture you for no reason.

Differnece between a mammal brain and reptile brain. Mammals feel for others. They apologize, they right wrongs. They are considerate of others. A reptile's response to hurting someone? "Well, get out of the way next time".

Think about that sentence, "well get out of the way next time". I'll bet it is the closest way to describing your exes attitude towards the hurt she caused you, correct?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm tired of messages and hurt and pain and misery.
This last npd has been a mind fuxk. How in the world can someone you give so much to have NO ability to aknowledge or take responsibility in any way?
The girl would decline things then complain of things shes not getting by declining.
The girl gave NOTHING i mean NOTHING juat took and took yet complained of not getting more. Silence when i brought it up.


These people just torture you for no reason.

Did she leave any positive memories? Sounds like you were being fed chit sandwiches.

 

[exhausted]

Differnece between a mammal brain and reptile brain. Mammals feel for others. They apologize, they right wrongs. They are considerate of others. A reptile's response to hurting someone? "Well, get out of the way next time".

Think about that sentence, "well get out of the way next time". I'll bet it is the closest way to describing your exes attitude towards the hurt she caused you, correct?

Bingo. My favorite of hers "that's not my problem".
Um it's your fault u dumb mean **** that's why I responded such a way.

 

[exhausted]

Did she leave any positive memories? Sounds like you were being fed chit sandwiches.

No lots of great memories. That's the thing NPD is split personality. One is fun and loving and the other mean and heartless and cruel. For so long I are so confused and shocked u aren't even mad about the mistreatment.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No lots of great memories. That's the thing NPD is split personality. One is fun and loving and the other mean and heartless and cruel. For so long I are so confused and shocked u aren't even mad about the mistreatment.

Over time the mistreatment supersedes the good times

 

[exhausted]

Over time the mistreatment supersedes the good times

Exactly my friend.
Eventually you get mad and furious about the cruelty they give you.
When they hoover back they treat u like the best friends u are when they aren't theor evil self.
Sad thing is they know they have this problem and aknowledge it until they are in their rage cruel personality then they are unreachable for days and days.
Then when u eventually bail they come back wothat the normal personality and make u think they have it under control. Which they do for a few weeks then bam the littlest thing and they are nuts again. U actually feel sorry for them to an extent.

Advice is the first time this happens bail. Dont stick around becauae when u care its hard to let go.

Npd is actually denounced in the bible. Its evil. No joke

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly my friend.
Eventually you get mad and furious about the cruelty they give you.
When they hoover back they treat u like the best friends u are when they aren't theor evil self.
Sad thing is they know they have this problem and aknowledge it until they are in their rage cruel personality then they are unreachable for days and days.
Then when u eventually bail they come back wothat the normal personality and make u think they have it under control. Which they do for a few weeks then bam the littlest thing and they are nuts again. U actually feel sorry for them to an extent.

Advice is the first time this happens bail. Dont stick around becauae when u care its hard to let go.

Npd is actually denounced in the bible. Its evil. No joke

You've become a narcissistic supply. Her balance and Norm is a place where she can treat you like dirt. I'm not sure I've heard of that type of balance being changed to a mutually beneficial one long term?

 

[exhausted]

You've become a narcissistic supply. Her balance and Norm is a place where she can treat you like dirt. I'm not sure I've heard of that type of balance being changed to a mutually beneficial one long term?

Nope it can never change, hence their illness.

 

[uk41]

I have myself split from a BPD recently.

Despite being aware of this site and Rollos site for around three years I thought she was normal and tried to use 'normal' game to revive the relationship, e.g. dread etc.

Until about a month after the split I didn't join the dots and now it seems like a textbook case of BPD with the following:

Accidental pregnancy
Mood swings and circular arguments
Focus on money
Mad driving
Alcohol - she goes crazy on it and drinks too much
Charming to others - very
Attracted to powerful men
Emotional vampire
Victim mentality
Emotionally abusive
Tries to isolate from family and friends


The funny thing is - I've no evidence of cheating. But I always had this terrible feeling of her doing things, especially when drunk. In later years I had dreams I was being cuckolded. Maybe I'm paranoid or maybe I should trust my gut. I sent her packing after she lied about going to work abroad for a few days alone. A male colleague actually went. There was no evidence of an affair and she denies anything happened stating that she didn't tell me because I would have prevented her dream work trip by being jealous.

What I didn't realise till last week is that she seems to have a complete lack of empathy and I'm not actually sure if she is, or ever was, capable of love. All she will say is how bad I was and "where is her money" (share of house).

Anyway after around three months I'm now beginning to miss her (or the fantasy of her, or perhaps the odd glimpse of the early love bomb stage).

I can relate totally to the poster above regarding getting emotional over her if I've had alcohol. Without alcohol or being tired I'm fairly clear minded that I need to stay the hell away - unless there is a miracle cure (I know likelihood of successful treatment is stupidly low).

Anyway I hate to admit I'd love to have another go if she will get help from a psychologist - and I want this to hopefully help my children not be too f***** up by her.

Apart from any views on the above that anyone could offer, I wonder what thoughts are out there regarding the people who get involved with BPD sufferers?

From what I've read on the web from Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam, there is probably something wrong with me for putting up with her **** for so long*. I think perhaps I've got some needy issues. I can't quite understand this yet. I also wonder if I've got BPD or NPD but repeated online tests suggest not.




*One excuse is that I did actually leave her before the accidental pregnancy and then stayed for the children

 

[exhausted]

I have myself split from a BPD recently.

Despite being aware of this site and Rollos site for around three years I thought she was normal and tried to use 'normal' game to revive the relationship, e.g. dread etc.

Until about a month after the split I didn't join the dots and now it seems like a textbook case of BPD with the following:

Accidental pregnancy
Mood swings and circular arguments
Focus on money
Mad driving
Alcohol - she goes crazy on it and drinks too much
Charming to others - very
Attracted to powerful men
Emotional vampire
Victim mentality
Emotionally abusive
Tries to isolate from family and friends


The funny thing is - I've no evidence of cheating. But I always had this terrible feeling of her doing things, especially when drunk. In later years I had dreams I was being cuckolded. Maybe I'm paranoid or maybe I should trust my gut. I sent her packing after she lied about going to work abroad for a few days alone. A male colleague actually went. There was no evidence of an affair and she denies anything happened stating that she didn't tell me because I would have prevented her dream work trip by being jealous.

What I didn't realise till last week is that she seems to have a complete lack of empathy and I'm not actually sure if she is, or ever was, capable of love. All she will say is how bad I was and "where is her money" (share of house).

Anyway after around three months I'm now beginning to miss her (or the fantasy of her, or perhaps the odd glimpse of the early love bomb stage).

I can relate totally to the poster above regarding getting emotional over her if I've had alcohol. Without alcohol or being tired I'm fairly clear minded that I need to stay the hell away - unless there is a miracle cure (I know likelihood of successful treatment is stupidly low).

Anyway I hate to admit I'd love to have another go if she will get help from a psychologist - and I want this to hopefully help my children not be too f***** up by her.

Apart from any views on the above that anyone could offer, I wonder what thoughts are out there regarding the people who get involved with BPD sufferers?

From what I've read on the web from Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam, there is probably something wrong with me for putting up with her **** for so long*. I think perhaps I've got some needy issues. I can't quite understand this yet. I also wonder if I've got BPD or NPD but repeated online tests suggest not.




*One excuse is that I did actually leave her before the accidental pregnancy and then stayed for the children

Sounds npd as well which goes with the cluster b

Dont be so hard on yourself, lying is not acceptable and lying about having a man with her away even for work is unnacceptable.

Mine lied a few times but could never comprehend why it was a problem even tho the lies where little or came of nothing it's like she didn't get the idea that someone else has feelings and she was ****ing them up along w my head for nothing.

 

[stovepipe]

There is a member from another forum whom I've been trying to help get over his ex BPD. He is 4 months out and beyond brainwashed. I'm worried about the kid as he cries everyday since she left him and constantly tells me he wants to die. He knows she has BPD, but some how is so out of it, he is plotting to try and get her back. The girl has 2 kids from a previous relationship and that guy is trying to get her back as well. She has a fan club of brainwashed ex's begging to get her back.

He thinks all the things in his mind that he's fabricated will come true, then a min later knows it wont, but is still driving to her house today to drop some love book off with a note on her front step.

Even still, he can't seem to break the tether no matter what anyone tells him. He even tried a therapist, is on depression meds, online therapy and nothing is helping him. His therapist said there is nothing more he can do for him.

It truly is scary, sad, eye opening and evil what they can do to ones mind. Hell, I'm still a complete wreck 9 months out from my 2 year roller coaster ride from heaven/hell.

 

[exhausted]

There is a member from another forum whom I've been trying to help get over his ex BPD. He is 4 months out and beyond brainwashed. I'm worried about the kid as he cries everyday since she left him and constantly tells me he wants to die. He knows she has BPD, but some how is so out of it, he is plotting to try and get her back. The girl has 2 kids from a previous relationship and that guy is trying to get her back as well. She has a fan club of brainwashed ex's begging to get her back.

He thinks all the things in his mind that he's fabricated will come true, then a min later knows it wont, but is still driving to her house today to drop some love book off with a note on her front step.

Even still, he can't seem to break the tether no matter what anyone tells him. He even tried a therapist, is on depression meds, online therapy and nothing is helping him. His therapist said there is nothing more he can do for him.

It truly is scary, sad, eye opening and evil what they can do to ones mind. Hell, I'm still a complete wreck 9 months out from my 2 year roller coaster ride from heaven/hell.

Good God poor guy.
Hope u are doing better as time goes on as well.
I'm months out and still have trouble, i feel bad, ya i know dumb, but she didn't cheat or anything just a npd who struggles. Jekyll/ hyde and i talk to her occasionally which just ****s me up.
Its rough to lose a best friend of 3 years but no contact is the only way to get past it all.

What's hard is when they have kids as well because u get attached to them too.

 

[uk41]

Sounds npd as well which goes with the cluster b

Dont be so hard on yourself, lying is not acceptable and lying about having a man with her away even for work is unnacceptable.

Mine lied a few times but could never comprehend why it was a problem even tho the lies where little or came of nothing it's like she didn't get the idea that someone else has feelings and she was ****ing them up along w my head for nothing.

Why do you think npd as well please?

 

[exhausted]

Why do you think npd as well please?

Victim mentality.
Charming to others, which means she treats you less. Mine at work is a model sweetheart to everyone, tho terrible to me, and used as a punching bag too.
Emotional vampire, emotionally abusive

 

[Red Legg]

Victim mentality.
Charming to others, which means she treats you less. Mine at work is a model sweetheart to everyone, tho terrible to me, and used as a punching bag too.
Emotional vampire, emotionally abusive

Those are the best kind...

 

[exhausted]

Those are the best kind...

Oh ya, they are a blast.

 

[exhausted]

Those are the best kind...

Oh ya, they are a blast.

 

[wolf]

I have myself split from a BPD recently.

Despite being aware of this site and Rollos site for around three years I thought she was normal and tried to use 'normal' game to revive the relationship, e.g. dread etc.

Until about a month after the split I didn't join the dots and now it seems like a textbook case of BPD with the following:

Accidental pregnancy
Mood swings and circular arguments
Focus on money
Mad driving
Alcohol - she goes crazy on it and drinks too much
Charming to others - very
Attracted to powerful men
Emotional vampire
Victim mentality
Emotionally abusive
Tries to isolate from family and friends


The funny thing is - I've no evidence of cheating. But I always had this terrible feeling of her doing things, especially when drunk. In later years I had dreams I was being cuckolded. Maybe I'm paranoid or maybe I should trust my gut. I sent her packing after she lied about going to work abroad for a few days alone. A male colleague actually went. There was no evidence of an affair and she denies anything happened stating that she didn't tell me because I would have prevented her dream work trip by being jealous.

What I didn't realise till last week is that she seems to have a complete lack of empathy and I'm not actually sure if she is, or ever was, capable of love. All she will say is how bad I was and "where is her money" (share of house).

Anyway after around three months I'm now beginning to miss her (or the fantasy of her, or perhaps the odd glimpse of the early love bomb stage).

I can relate totally to the poster above regarding getting emotional over her if I've had alcohol. Without alcohol or being tired I'm fairly clear minded that I need to stay the hell away - unless there is a miracle cure (I know likelihood of successful treatment is stupidly low).

Anyway I hate to admit I'd love to have another go if she will get help from a psychologist - and I want this to hopefully help my children not be too f***** up by her.

Apart from any views on the above that anyone could offer, I wonder what thoughts are out there regarding the people who get involved with BPD sufferers?

From what I've read on the web from Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam, there is probably something wrong with me for putting up with her **** for so long*. I think perhaps I've got some needy issues. I can't quite understand this yet. I also wonder if I've got BPD or NPD but repeated online tests suggest not.




*One excuse is that I did actually leave her before the accidental pregnancy and then stayed for the children

Screams NPD to me. Possibly Co - morbid with bpd.. maybe..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Those are the best kind...

Can you flip it?