I was in a relationship with a woman who I thought was the most amazing thing I'd ever encountered in my life. Perfect for me in every way... until she got the stomach cancer diagnosis. Well, 10 months later I discovered the cancer and dozens of other horrendous things she told me about her were complete lies, including a fake step father/abuse story, fake brain surgery, a fake stalking ex-fiance, 2 fake miscarriages and 1 miscarriage that was actually a secret abortion. These all happened when she was "on birth control", by the way. I then learned through my own study she was BPD, and probably more.
At first I read 4 books on BPD and tried to help her, and that only made things worse... I decided to no longer be nice and dance around her lies and mistreatment, even though it was the most painful emotional detachment I had ever experienced. Then, this woman that moved across the country to start a life with me and supposedly loved me so dearly for the past 2 years, lied to police to get a restraining order (PPO) on me and had me charged with 2 crimes with zero evidence.
I actually had to endure a jury trial, as I watched her march into court with 5 women from the local domestic abuse shelter. She cried as she lied on the stand. I sat there in astonishment, still not believing she would go to these lengths to hurt a man that did everything for her. Thankfully I had dozens of photos, voicemails and our entire relationship on text, and was easily able to prove her lies and my innocence, and was acquitted on both charges.
Then I learned she had also been cheating on me the last couple months with a guy she had just met... and there were probably more. She still lives here in the city I brought her to, and is carrying on her life that we were supposed to live together as if I never existed.
The relationship and her disordered madness consumed me... easily the worst experience of my 40 plus years by far. It has been difficult to get back on my feet emotionally, but I have done it, thanks greatly to discussion forums like this and few key experts on BPD like Paul Elam.
I spend most of my time bettering myself rather than sacrificing for a woman before she shows her true colors. Talk about PTSD... that is what the victims of BPDs end up with, not the BPDs themselves. You must RUN immediately when you see the BPD red flags...