mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
You've become a narcissistic supply. Her balance and Norm is a place where she can treat you like dirt. I'm not sure I've heard of that type of balance being changed to a mutually beneficial one long term?
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BPD's can control their behavior…they choose not to
- Thread starter Pandora
- Start date
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Nope it can never change, hence their illness.
I have myself split from a BPD recently.
Despite being aware of this site and Rollos site for around three years I thought she was normal and tried to use 'normal' game to revive the relationship, e.g. dread etc.
Until about a month after the split I didn't join the dots and now it seems like a textbook case of BPD with the following:
Accidental pregnancy
Mood swings and circular arguments
Focus on money
Mad driving
Alcohol - she goes crazy on it and drinks too much
Charming to others - very
Attracted to powerful men
Emotional vampire
Victim mentality
Emotionally abusive
Tries to isolate from family and friends
The funny thing is - I've no evidence of cheating. But I always had this terrible feeling of her doing things, especially when drunk. In later years I had dreams I was being cuckolded. Maybe I'm paranoid or maybe I should trust my gut. I sent her packing after she lied about going to work abroad for a few days alone. A male colleague actually went. There was no evidence of an affair and she denies anything happened stating that she didn't tell me because I would have prevented her dream work trip by being jealous.
What I didn't realise till last week is that she seems to have a complete lack of empathy and I'm not actually sure if she is, or ever was, capable of love. All she will say is how bad I was and "where is her money" (share of house).
Anyway after around three months I'm now beginning to miss her (or the fantasy of her, or perhaps the odd glimpse of the early love bomb stage).
I can relate totally to the poster above regarding getting emotional over her if I've had alcohol. Without alcohol or being tired I'm fairly clear minded that I need to stay the hell away - unless there is a miracle cure (I know likelihood of successful treatment is stupidly low).
Anyway I hate to admit I'd love to have another go if she will get help from a psychologist - and I want this to hopefully help my children not be too f***** up by her.
Apart from any views on the above that anyone could offer, I wonder what thoughts are out there regarding the people who get involved with BPD sufferers?
From what I've read on the web from Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam, there is probably something wrong with me for putting up with her **** for so long*. I think perhaps I've got some needy issues. I can't quite understand this yet. I also wonder if I've got BPD or NPD but repeated online tests suggest not.
*One excuse is that I did actually leave her before the accidental pregnancy and then stayed for the children
Despite being aware of this site and Rollos site for around three years I thought she was normal and tried to use 'normal' game to revive the relationship, e.g. dread etc.
Until about a month after the split I didn't join the dots and now it seems like a textbook case of BPD with the following:
Accidental pregnancy
Mood swings and circular arguments
Focus on money
Mad driving
Alcohol - she goes crazy on it and drinks too much
Charming to others - very
Attracted to powerful men
Emotional vampire
Victim mentality
Emotionally abusive
Tries to isolate from family and friends
The funny thing is - I've no evidence of cheating. But I always had this terrible feeling of her doing things, especially when drunk. In later years I had dreams I was being cuckolded. Maybe I'm paranoid or maybe I should trust my gut. I sent her packing after she lied about going to work abroad for a few days alone. A male colleague actually went. There was no evidence of an affair and she denies anything happened stating that she didn't tell me because I would have prevented her dream work trip by being jealous.
What I didn't realise till last week is that she seems to have a complete lack of empathy and I'm not actually sure if she is, or ever was, capable of love. All she will say is how bad I was and "where is her money" (share of house).
Anyway after around three months I'm now beginning to miss her (or the fantasy of her, or perhaps the odd glimpse of the early love bomb stage).
I can relate totally to the poster above regarding getting emotional over her if I've had alcohol. Without alcohol or being tired I'm fairly clear minded that I need to stay the hell away - unless there is a miracle cure (I know likelihood of successful treatment is stupidly low).
Anyway I hate to admit I'd love to have another go if she will get help from a psychologist - and I want this to hopefully help my children not be too f***** up by her.
Apart from any views on the above that anyone could offer, I wonder what thoughts are out there regarding the people who get involved with BPD sufferers?
From what I've read on the web from Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam, there is probably something wrong with me for putting up with her **** for so long*. I think perhaps I've got some needy issues. I can't quite understand this yet. I also wonder if I've got BPD or NPD but repeated online tests suggest not.
*One excuse is that I did actually leave her before the accidental pregnancy and then stayed for the children
Sounds npd as well which goes with the cluster b
Dont be so hard on yourself, lying is not acceptable and lying about having a man with her away even for work is unnacceptable.
Mine lied a few times but could never comprehend why it was a problem even tho the lies where little or came of nothing it's like she didn't get the idea that someone else has feelings and she was ****ing them up along w my head for nothing.
stovepipe
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2017
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There is a member from another forum whom I've been trying to help get over his ex BPD. He is 4 months out and beyond brainwashed. I'm worried about the kid as he cries everyday since she left him and constantly tells me he wants to die. He knows she has BPD, but some how is so out of it, he is plotting to try and get her back. The girl has 2 kids from a previous relationship and that guy is trying to get her back as well. She has a fan club of brainwashed ex's begging to get her back.
He thinks all the things in his mind that he's fabricated will come true, then a min later knows it wont, but is still driving to her house today to drop some love book off with a note on her front step.
Even still, he can't seem to break the tether no matter what anyone tells him. He even tried a therapist, is on depression meds, online therapy and nothing is helping him. His therapist said there is nothing more he can do for him.
It truly is scary, sad, eye opening and evil what they can do to ones mind. Hell, I'm still a complete wreck 9 months out from my 2 year roller coaster ride from heaven/hell.
He thinks all the things in his mind that he's fabricated will come true, then a min later knows it wont, but is still driving to her house today to drop some love book off with a note on her front step.
Even still, he can't seem to break the tether no matter what anyone tells him. He even tried a therapist, is on depression meds, online therapy and nothing is helping him. His therapist said there is nothing more he can do for him.
It truly is scary, sad, eye opening and evil what they can do to ones mind. Hell, I'm still a complete wreck 9 months out from my 2 year roller coaster ride from heaven/hell.
Good God poor guy.
Hope u are doing better as time goes on as well.
I'm months out and still have trouble, i feel bad, ya i know dumb, but she didn't cheat or anything just a npd who struggles. Jekyll/ hyde and i talk to her occasionally which just ****s me up.
Its rough to lose a best friend of 3 years but no contact is the only way to get past it all.
What's hard is when they have kids as well because u get attached to them too.
Why do you think npd as well please?
Victim mentality.
Charming to others, which means she treats you less. Mine at work is a model sweetheart to everyone, tho terrible to me, and used as a punching bag too.
Emotional vampire, emotionally abusive
Those are the best kind...
Oh ya, they are a blast.
Oh ya, they are a blast.
Screams NPD to me. Possibly Co - morbid with bpd.. maybe..
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Can you flip it?
Yeah it's unfair that her female friends think I'm the abusive one.
I argued back when she demeaned me in public and could be quite nasty in response to her - but, especially in the early days, she got me in a ****ty mood.
She then went on to charm everyone and have a great time while I was stewing and was made out to be anti social.
I argued back when she demeaned me in public and could be quite nasty in response to her - but, especially in the early days, she got me in a ****ty mood.
She then went on to charm everyone and have a great time while I was stewing and was made out to be anti social.
Another sign of npd is making a scene in public. Mine did this 2 summers in a row at a water park with her kid and mine both there both times. Literally over nothing, finding anything to go off about and act a damn fool. These npds have NO shame or humility. Of course we didnt know anyone there but hell have some self respect. Absolutley disturbing in every way.
We rode rides for hours for her and her kid and my son wanted to go down one that was super fast and they couldn't go as she was too little, i asked if my ex wanted to go with my son and I'd stay w her daughter she said no so i went with him and man did i get in trouble, for ONE ****ing ride, gone 15 mins no line to wait in.
Ignored, smarted off, then freaked out on me in front of my kid and hers saying that my son and i were "up each other's asses" like what the FUHK!!!!!! For going on one slide together the whole day??
The girl clearly is a psycho. Acting a fool amd ignored me for 3 hours at the park after that and on the way home broke things off, 4 hour ride, then when we got home kissed me bye like all was fine. What a pos psycho.
Then refuses to admit any wrong doing, EVER
Npds are truly evil and soul killing vampires.
They are heartless irrational cvnts.
Be happy u are free
stovepipe
Master Don Juan
- Joined
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- 974
- Reaction score
- 1,087
That kid I mentioned went and dropped off a book at her front door with a love note inside to call him. He drove by the next day to notice she hasn't been home. Dude called me crying non stop, wants her back, his mind is tricking him in thinking he can not only get her back, but get the "love bombing" version of her back. No matter how many times I tell him not to make contact, he doesn't listen. He wants her to destroy him, he wants to have a heart attack and die as he said he cannot live in the mental prison he is in anymore.
I get it, I almost committed suicide twice since my ex moved, had a panic attack so severe it almost took my life. I've come to except the fact she will haunt me forever and no relationship will ever compare to what her and I had. To the point I dont even want to deal with women anymore. On top of her giving me an STI, makes moving on seem impossible. It's like im programmed to not really be attracted nor want any other girl but her. Its crazy once that switch in their mind shuts off, you are now their enemy more than likely forever, they paint you black.
Seems like he's fighting two personalities. One, where he thinks in his mind he can and will be back with her, the other, he knows she's sick and not worth pursuing. But either way he loves her with all his heart and he will not accept trying to get her back even if it destroys him. He's been having a lot of medical problems too as a result from all the pain, crying, overthinking, nightmares, sleepless nights.
He admitted he fell in love with her kids too and they became a huge part of his life. Whats crazy about his situation is that his relationship was 1.5 years on the phone/video chat and two months physical and 2 months pysical. Weird seeing she lived 20 mins away and took over a year to meet in person. They met on POF, but he had fake pics of a good looking guy not his own. Took him 4 months of being loved bombed to admit the pics weren't even him. She still accepted him and forgave him. So he was loved bombed that entire time on the phone. In person, it only lasted two months. She broke up with him and left like nothing happened when just a day before she was begging him to get her pregnant. He kept calling her out on her disrespectful and rude behavior. He was smart in the fact he didn't fall for her games. She begged him not to use a condom and to also get her pregnant, but he wouldn't cave in. I know she left him cause he couldn't be controlled and was on to her BS mind games. We all know Npd's Bpd's and Hpd's need to be in control, once you start calling them out on their BS behavior, they usually bail.
I know what you mean man, I lost my BF of two years. Im Cluster B myself and look back to see how similar her and I were. I have some psychopath traits and also lack empathy at times, but I would never intentionally break someones heart ,knowingly give them an STD like she did to me, cheat or manipulate a person. Like you said, no contact is and always will be the only way to heal. Even looking at pics of them is considered breaking NC.
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Shiiiiit this is rough to read with all the hurt you both endured.
He needs to constantly tell himself and trick his mind into believing no sane woman wants to get pregnant like that. She wouldnt meet him in person for that long??? CRAZY
And u need to do the same.
One thing that i keep coming back to myself is thinking thay i just dont understand why she would ruin things.
Well duh, no one can understand illogical and irrational selfish acts that these crazy npds do.
And yes you are abdolutely right about controlling.
When i look back the only trouble we ever had was when she didnt control something.
Meaning she had to control everything and in fact it was insane. If not there were rages, screaming fits, she would just up and bail and leave right in the middle of a composed conversation. Like wtf whereare u going?
She wanted to control money yet had NONE and was in debt.
She wanted to control the church we went to yet NEVER has gone.
She wanted to control me to move out of my home to get one with her yet she had no money to contribute.
She also wanted me to leave my city where i work and make better money. I would be losing 400$ a month. She didnt care all about her. F that
Like how did she not know she was being a dumbass?
Didn't matter as a npd is a mental illness.
Just keep telling yourself you are better off in every way.
More than anything i miss good times tog but there were more bad and she is a selfish mean cvnt when not getting what she wanted.
None of us need a vampire like that.
NEVER give your life up for someone who is worthless like that, dont even think about it!!!
noBSgames
Senior Don Juan
Wow this whole thing makes me feel like I've been down this road. My ex she would fit over text over and over.. so if I did not respond within 5 min she would be like oh your ignoring me like always then you will get the paragraph long texts about how I mistreat her and all that bs. It went on and on I stopped responding because it would just keep the cycle going and I had to be up at 1 am she got mad for me kicking her off the phone it was like she was rambling and talking about nothing so I said I have to go to bed. So she was like you know what **** you and she hung up first but text me saying I hung up before she did.. went to sleep never even thought about it
It was ridiculous the fights she would instigate,over NOTHING.
I used to get mad when i was younger, now i am in disbelief of such difficulties
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
It was something, power. She was likely trying to shrink and diminishes some of your strength so she could be more prominent.
