BPD's can control their behavior…they choose not to

[btownbuck2012]

I would encourage teaching children about these people so narcicistic abuse is recognised as any other crime. However, they work on unprovable evils and are the original con artists.

How many of our great leaders have a trail of bodies behind them? Having seen full narc, and their success in life, I have no confidence in any authority or historical account. How much of history was a narc twisting it to fit their granduer?

Yeah pal I hear you. I've thought about that a-lot too. The word "unprovable" that you used is spot on. One of the most difficult parts of recovering from this specific type of abuse is moving on and healing without validation or acknowledgement that the abuse has even happened to you.

These people are EXPERTS at making you out to be the crazy one after they have inflicted their damage.

That can be devastating for people because as human beings we have a very basic need to be acknowledged. The pain and the hurt of narcissistic/sociopathic abuse is NOT acknowledged by the abuser and often unrecognized/unseen by outside parties.

Narcissists and sociopaths leave a trail of wreckage behind them that is never apologized for or even acknowledged. An apology is powerful and is usually the last step to truly healing and you will never get that from these people.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

EXACTLY.
They spend time when it benefits them.
If it benefits only you they refuse selfishly and even admit it with no dignity or respect.
Only they matter.

They are the "star" and you are the "fan"...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah pal I hear you. I've thought about that a-lot too. The word "unprovable" that you used is spot on. One of the most difficult parts of recovering from this specific type of abuse is moving on and healing without validation or acknowledgement that the abuse has even happened to you.

These people are EXPERTS at making you out to be the crazy one after they have inflicted their damage.

That can be devastating for people because as human beings we have a very basic need to be acknowledged. The pain and the hurt of narcissistic/sociopathic abuse is NOT acknowledged by the abuser and often unrecognized/unseen by outside parties.

Narcissists and sociopaths leave a trail of wreckage behind them that is never apologized for or even acknowledged. An apology is powerful and is usually the last step to truly healing and you will never get that from these people.

The best thing you can do if you ever loved them is to do to them what they do to you. Maybe then over time they will get it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I'd say that smashing their head in with a large baseball bat is the answer if it didn't sound so borderline

Although I know you're joking, this actually gives way to another point..and that's how these people can often cause well adjusted, level headed people to snap and become unrecognizable to those who have known them.

Careers ruined, criminal records obtained, drug/alcohol addictions acquired, etc. All stuff that a-lot, not all, of people who have been 'discarded' by narcs/sociopaths experience. And the abuser simply says to others "See?! I told you HE/SHE was the problem..not me.."

That's why it is INVALUABLE to guys on this forum to read posts about red flags for these types of women and GTFO the second you recognize them. Yeah, it'll suck dropping someone who is giving up the p*ssy at your beckon call and who strokes your ego to new heights that you never thought were possible, BUT the long term effects are not worth it.

 

[exhausted]

Yeah pal I hear you. I've thought about that a-lot too. The word "unprovable" that you used is spot on. One of the most difficult parts of recovering from this specific type of abuse is moving on and healing without validation or acknowledgement that the abuse has even happened to you.

These people are EXPERTS at making you out to be the crazy one after they have inflicted their damage.

That can be devastating for people because as human beings we have a very basic need to be acknowledged. The pain and the hurt of narcissistic/sociopathic abuse is NOT acknowledged by the abuser and often unrecognized/unseen by outside parties.

Narcissists and sociopaths leave a trail of wreckage behind them that is never apologized for or even acknowledged. An apology is powerful and is usually the last step to truly healing and you will never get that from these people.

Npds NEVER aknowledge their wrongdoing especially if they are abusive.
They twist everything and take NO responsibilty.

They are disturbing vile cvnts

 

[exhausted]

This is true. Borderlines can be cured and helped out alot by therapy. Narcissists and sociopaths are inhuman and incurable.

True. Narcissists have no hope, even psychologists dont want to touch them.

A npd will make u ask yourself if YOU have lost your own mind.

 

[051AV]

The guy my ex latched onto is a NPD, I've known the guy longer than she has the guy is extremely insecure, he would brag about everything, how good he is with women, how much money he makes. He loves flaunting his money, he doesn't hide the fact he loves money, he tries to buy women's attention. I've come close to slugging him he started bad mouthing the women we worked with and being derogatory to women. I told him don't phuck with me or you will be eating dinner through a straw. I was very aware of his temper he would go off his nut in a blink of an eye he had a scary temper. He loves the sight of blood I wouldn't have a doubt in my mind he would shoot a person. Makes me wonder when he will loose it on her and blow her head off.

I've been told BPDs and NPDs are attracted to each other like flies to schit, she claims to love him, one day I will see her obit in the paper because of him he is one sick sick man.

 

[Saltybull]

30% of high functioning BPD woman are also co-diagnosed as NPD. I was involved with one for 5 years, and it's been a year since no contact and I still haven't recovered to the fun loving man I was before Lucifer's daughter entered my life. I thought I knew how to spot someone with a mental illness. I dealt with mentally ill people all the time as a inner-city Medic for 10 years. She wasn't the "waifs" low functioning/suicide threatening attention seeker BPD. She was high functioning, hot and charismatic and wore her mask very well until one day she devalued me and painted me black out of nowhere. One thing that is consistant with them is their paterns and the red flags. She was a student of mine and I knew her for over a year before getting involved with her. I knew she had a lot of past relationships but I ignored that red flag, I also ignored that she branch swung to me when we got involved, claiming her EX was an abusive A-hole (another red flag) as she used incredabile sex to seduce me. Stay away from BPD woman gentalman, They are unable to understand how toxic their behaviour is on others while projecting all their feelings of shame on you!

 

[thedar]

I was in a relationship with a woman who I thought was the most amazing thing I'd ever encountered in my life. Perfect for me in every way... until she got the stomach cancer diagnosis. Well, 10 months later I discovered the cancer and dozens of other horrendous things she told me about her were complete lies, including a fake step father/abuse story, fake brain surgery, a fake stalking ex-fiance, 2 fake miscarriages and 1 miscarriage that was actually a secret abortion. These all happened when she was "on birth control", by the way. I then learned through my own study she was BPD, and probably more.

At first I read 4 books on BPD and tried to help her, and that only made things worse... I decided to no longer be nice and dance around her lies and mistreatment, even though it was the most painful emotional detachment I had ever experienced. Then, this woman that moved across the country to start a life with me and supposedly loved me so dearly for the past 2 years, lied to police to get a restraining order (PPO) on me and had me charged with 2 crimes with zero evidence.

I actually had to endure a jury trial, as I watched her march into court with 5 women from the local domestic abuse shelter. She cried as she lied on the stand. I sat there in astonishment, still not believing she would go to these lengths to hurt a man that did everything for her. Thankfully I had dozens of photos, voicemails and our entire relationship on text, and was easily able to prove her lies and my innocence, and was acquitted on both charges.

Then I learned she had also been cheating on me the last couple months with a guy she had just met... and there were probably more. She still lives here in the city I brought her to, and is carrying on her life that we were supposed to live together as if I never existed.

The relationship and her disordered madness consumed me... easily the worst experience of my 40 plus years by far. It has been difficult to get back on my feet emotionally, but I have done it, thanks greatly to discussion forums like this and few key experts on BPD like Paul Elam.

I spend most of my time bettering myself rather than sacrificing for a woman before she shows her true colors. Talk about PTSD... that is what the victims of BPDs end up with, not the BPDs themselves. You must RUN immediately when you see the BPD red flags...

 

[051AV]

I was in a relationship with a woman who I thought was the most amazing thing I'd ever encountered in my life. Perfect for me in every way... until she got the stomach cancer diagnosis. Well, 10 months later I discovered the cancer and dozens of other horrendous things she told me about her were complete lies, including a fake step father/abuse story, fake brain surgery, a fake stalking ex-fiance, 2 fake miscarriages and 1 miscarriage that was actually a secret abortion. These all happened when she was "on birth control", by the way. I then learned through my own study she was BPD, and probably more.

At first I read 4 books on BPD and tried to help her, and that only made things worse... I decided to no longer be nice and dance around her lies and mistreatment, even though it was the most painful emotional detachment I had ever experienced. Then, this woman that moved across the country to start a life with me and supposedly loved me so dearly for the past 2 years, lied to police to get a restraining order (PPO) on me and had me charged with 2 crimes with zero evidence.

I actually had to endure a jury trial, as I watched her march into court with 5 women from the local domestic abuse shelter. She cried as she lied on the stand. I sat there in astonishment, still not believing she would go to these lengths to hurt a man that did everything for her. Thankfully I had dozens of photos, voicemails and our entire relationship on text, and was easily able to prove her lies and my innocence, and was acquitted on both charges.

Then I learned she had also been cheating on me the last couple months with a guy she had just met... and there were probably more. She still lives here in the city I brought her to, and is carrying on her life that we were supposed to live together as if I never existed.

The relationship and her disordered madness consumed me... easily the worst experience of my 40 plus years by far. It has been difficult to get back on my feet emotionally, but I have done it, thanks greatly to discussion forums like this and few key experts on BPD like Paul Elam.

I spend most of my time bettering myself rather than sacrificing for a woman before she shows her true colors. Talk about PTSD... that is what the victims of BPDs end up with, not the BPDs themselves. You must RUN immediately when you see the BPD red flags...

It takes a while to recover from the damage of a BPD you can do it, taken me couple years, takes a little while to piece things back together and you wonder WTF happened. Not worth it getting involved with a BPD, once you've been with one you have BPD radar, it also makes you a lot more selective and aware of women with issues.

 

[wolf]

It takes a while to recover from the damage of a BPD you can do it, taken me couple years, takes a little while to piece things back together and you wonder WTF happened. Not worth it getting involved with a BPD, once you've been with one you have BPD radar, it also makes you a lot more selective and aware of women with issues.

Can confirm. 2 years seems to be the magic marker. It doenst matter how many relatively sound minded women you smash in those 2 years it just seems they will always be at the forefront of your mind for that duration.

It's like serving a 2 year prison sentence for all the bad **** you did in your life and all the times you treated girlfriends badly. Karma turns full circle and this becomes your penance. Take it and use it to make yourself stronger and more aware. Share your experiences with others 'selectively' and you will never have to deal with one of these women again!

Remember that they came into our lives to deliver a message and if we fail to receive that message then a worse version of her will be waiting for us further down the line.

It's painful. It's Hell! But is essential in order to free us of our childhood wounds and to set Karma at balance.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Remember that they came into our lives to deliver a message and if we fail to receive that message then a worse version of her will be waiting for us further down the line.

It's painful. It's Hell! But is essential in order to free us of our childhood wounds and to set Karma at balance.

Extremely solid wisdom right here. These women change you for the better if you're willing to put the work into the healing process.

 

[thedar]

Thanks for the thoughts and replies on this guys... funny, it has been 1 year, 11 months since this **** went down, and yes I'm feeling 1000% better about it than I ever have these last couple months.

 

[exhausted]

Can confirm. 2 years seems to be the magic marker. It doenst matter how many relatively sound minded women you smash in those 2 years it just seems they will always be at the forefront of your mind for that duration.

It's like serving a 2 year prison sentence for all the bad **** you did in your life and all the times you treated girlfriends badly. Karma turns full circle and this becomes your penance. Take it and use it to make yourself stronger and more aware. Share your experiences with others 'selectively' and you will never have to deal with one of these women again!

Remember that they came into our lives to deliver a message and if we fail to receive that message then a worse version of her will be waiting for us further down the line.

It's painful. It's Hell! But is essential in order to free us of our childhood wounds and to set Karma at balance.

I'm tired of messages and hurt and pain and misery.
This last npd has been a mind fuxk. How in the world can someone you give so much to have NO ability to aknowledge or take responsibility in any way?
The girl would decline things then complain of things shes not getting by declining.
The girl gave NOTHING i mean NOTHING juat took and took yet complained of not getting more. Silence when i brought it up.


These people just torture you for no reason.

 

[btownbuck2012]

These people just torture you for no reason.

Differnece between a mammal brain and reptile brain. Mammals feel for others. They apologize, they right wrongs. They are considerate of others. A reptile's response to hurting someone? "Well, get out of the way next time".

Think about that sentence, "well get out of the way next time". I'll bet it is the closest way to describing your exes attitude towards the hurt she caused you, correct?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm tired of messages and hurt and pain and misery.
This last npd has been a mind fuxk. How in the world can someone you give so much to have NO ability to aknowledge or take responsibility in any way?
The girl would decline things then complain of things shes not getting by declining.
The girl gave NOTHING i mean NOTHING juat took and took yet complained of not getting more. Silence when i brought it up.


These people just torture you for no reason.

Did she leave any positive memories? Sounds like you were being fed chit sandwiches.

 

[exhausted]

Differnece between a mammal brain and reptile brain. Mammals feel for others. They apologize, they right wrongs. They are considerate of others. A reptile's response to hurting someone? "Well, get out of the way next time".

Think about that sentence, "well get out of the way next time". I'll bet it is the closest way to describing your exes attitude towards the hurt she caused you, correct?

Bingo. My favorite of hers "that's not my problem".
Um it's your fault u dumb mean **** that's why I responded such a way.

 

[exhausted]

Did she leave any positive memories? Sounds like you were being fed chit sandwiches.

No lots of great memories. That's the thing NPD is split personality. One is fun and loving and the other mean and heartless and cruel. For so long I are so confused and shocked u aren't even mad about the mistreatment.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No lots of great memories. That's the thing NPD is split personality. One is fun and loving and the other mean and heartless and cruel. For so long I are so confused and shocked u aren't even mad about the mistreatment.

Over time the mistreatment supersedes the good times

 

[exhausted]

Over time the mistreatment supersedes the good times

Exactly my friend.
Eventually you get mad and furious about the cruelty they give you.
When they hoover back they treat u like the best friends u are when they aren't theor evil self.
Sad thing is they know they have this problem and aknowledge it until they are in their rage cruel personality then they are unreachable for days and days.
Then when u eventually bail they come back wothat the normal personality and make u think they have it under control. Which they do for a few weeks then bam the littlest thing and they are nuts again. U actually feel sorry for them to an extent.

Advice is the first time this happens bail. Dont stick around becauae when u care its hard to let go.

Npd is actually denounced in the bible. Its evil. No joke