The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[unsycu]

If that would be the case, she was to come to her senses eventhough without your letter. You can not change the emotions of a women by sending a letter where you wallowed all your emotions. What a women cares least is how you feel. She only cares about how you make them feel.
Do not send that letter. It has at all the negative sideeffect that you are waiting desperately for any Kind of reaction, what does only one thing; keep you away from moving on.
And to make sure you will not send that letter. You go out NOW and Burn that letter! Do it.
If you the after a few days still think you should send it, you will have to write it again. And the hope is that at least than you come to mind and realize that it is not worth the effort.

You can do nothing to change her mind. She ended it. She knew it was not your idea. So she knows you would still want to be together with her.

Do not send that letter. Do not break No contact.

Letter is gone. But I know someday soon I'll be weak again.

 

[MrAddiction]

Letter is gone. But I know someday soon I'll be weak again.

Sure you will be. But instead of replying or calling you will come back here again and get your Head set straight - maybe not by me, but trust me, there will be somebody calling you out.
Always remember. You found this site. You are a lucky guy. Most other guys out there have not such kinda supporting "familiy". Make use of it - whenever you need it.

 

[unsycu]

Sure you will be. But instead of replying or calling you will come back here again and get your Head set straight - maybe not by me, but trust me, there will be somebody calling you out.
Always remember. You found this site. You are a lucky guy. Most other guys out there have not such kinda supporting "familiy". Make use of it - whenever you need it.

Day 5

I really appreciate it. The more I think about contacting her or sending her something the worse of an idea it seems. I could have made a huge mistake. I hope anyone reading this follows suit.

EITHER she's not thinking about me at all, in which case she's not the person I thought she was or the kind of person I'd ever want to be with anyway, and I'll get to the point where she's dead to me and I don't think about her any more in a hurry. OR she's thinking about me and she'll be spinning the wheel in her head wondering where the hell I went and why I'm not begging for her back.

In the first case, contacting her won't do a thing, and make me feel like sh*t when she ignores it or rakes me over the coals again. In the second case, contacting her only stops that wheel.

 

[MrAddiction]

In the first case, contacting her won't do a thing, and make me feel like sh*t when she ignores it or rakes me over the coals again. In the second case, contacting her only stops that wheel.

And that is exactly it. Contacting will do you shyt.
3. contacting or hoping for contact hinders you to move on. Get your life back (half Said to you, half to me)

 

[Roober]

Day 5

I really appreciate it. The more I think about contacting her or sending her something the worse of an idea it seems. I could have made a huge mistake. I hope anyone reading this follows suit.

EITHER she's not thinking about me at all, in which case she's not the person I thought she was or the kind of person I'd ever want to be with anyway, and I'll get to the point where she's dead to me and I don't think about her any more in a hurry. OR she's thinking about me and she'll be spinning the wheel in her head wondering where the hell I went and why I'm not begging for her back.

In the first case, contacting her won't do a thing, and make me feel like sh*t when she ignores it or rakes me over the coals again. In the second case, contacting her only stops that wheel.

Agreed! You will feel temporary relief, then sink back down. Just have to go completely no contact. No text, social media, letters, nothing... It really is the best way to heal. Use the time to work on you and you alone. Think of something you have wanted to do for a long time and go do it!

 

[QuadDeuces]

She probably thinks of you a lot, but not really in a way that she misses you, perhaps she feels sadness out of empathy for you, but the biggest thing she feels is that she dropped a burden bag of sand from her shoulders. (Otherwise she wouldnt have dumped you.)

Just look at it from the third person, and think of the girls you dumped yourself, what did you feel? Perhaps you felt some sadness because you hurt the girl, but you didn't really miss her, in fact you were glad she was gone because she was holding you down, perhaps you missed the sex, but her personality flaws didn't outweigh the quality of sex.

It was only if the girl went NC and didn't beg and send awkward humiliating letters, you would be curious after a few months and you looked her up on Facebook to see what she was up to.

But in reality NC is not for her but for you, think of the burden you got rid of, make a list of all the bad things about her, make another list about all the moments she made you feel like sh*t. And make a third list about all the goals you are going to achieve besides girls.
Learn xx language.
Gain xx pound of muscle.
Travel to xx country.
Carreer advancements
Explore cultural interest
Anything

You have no one holding you down anymore.

 

[phil2015]

Day 1

Things weren’t going too well between me and her recently, mainly due to
her contrast insecurity, mistrust and unusual behaviours. We spoke to each other
yesterday in the morning and she said she ‘loved me more than anything, and didn’t
want to lose me’ etc…….Yet when I had gone home I found she had left half a day
early and emptied the house of her things. She didn’t even tell me what she was doing
We lived together and she told me she had been planning what she would do in life for
WHEN we broke up, not IF. She had been planning these things out since November and
I said if that’s how you feel then I want her to go now, I did get mad and got a bit nasty but I
was so incredibly hurt by what she said. Here I am planning Valentine’s day meals, sending
flowers, buying Christmas presents for the last 3 months etc and all the while she’s thinking
of what she wants to do when it ‘all goes wrong’.

I was and am upset and confused as this was a massive shock to me so, I went to her mum’s house where
she had gone and we had a chat. She said she couldn’t get over some of the arguments we had and
things I said and did, so that’s why she left. I begged and cried, and we told each other we still loved
each other.

I feel she took the cowards way out, slipping away and throwing in the towel whilst I was elsewhere.
Such a shame, I offered her a good life, holidays, money, a family etc buy no doubt she’ll be online
dating and getting used and abused again like she did before.

I left and went home, called her a few times and spoke about things briefly. I had a lengthy chat with
her last night and she seemed to be questioning her decision about what had happened, and I hope she
regrets it.

After this I have gone NC and deleted all of her facebook/numbers/mum etc
I’m trying my best but I can’t stop thinking about her and its really hard!

 

[MrAddiction]

was so incredibly hurt by what she said. Here I am planning Valentine’s day meals, sending
flowers, buying Christmas presents for the last 3 months etc and all the while she’s thinking
of what she wants to do when it ‘all goes wrong’.

Women always plan their exist long time before.
You might like to read this
How Can Girls Change Feelings So Abruptly?
( I was searching for another Thread to post, but that one nails it either way - and reading this was a good reminder to me what my ex did and why I should stay no contact!)

Read that too.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...h-t-that-can-ever-happen-in-your-life.212047/

 

[unsycu]

Day 6

After the worst f*cking day yesterday, today has been the best (relatively, of course).

Last night I went on YouTube and looked up how to properly trim a beard and style my hair. For the first time ever I'm a decent looking guy who looks like he gives a sh*t. It's only been 6 days, but I've cooked clean meals every day, haven't had one bite of junk food, and haven't missed a day of working out. I've definitely lost weight and gained a little muscle definition already. I'm motivated as hell.

And then, of course, all I start thinking about is how much I want her to see me now and it all crashes back down. Goddamn it.

Tonight my crew is headed out into the city and going hard (no class/work tomorrow), and I'm going to get drunk and not give a f*ck. Pray for me that I don't drunk dial her...

 

[phil2015]

Pray for me that I don't drunk dial her...[/QUOTE]

Delete every way you have of contacting her....numbers/whattsap/call logs/messages etc

I've had to do the same thing to prevent myself ringing my ex up

 

[QuadDeuces]

Or don't get drunk, prove to yourself you have self control.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Day.... don't remember but guess around 18.
It get's easier and easier, but the mornings waking up alone are still pretty bad, depressed, lonely and anxious waking up an hour before alarm. Thought about texting her but of course I didn't. After a cup of coffee or 2 and 50 pushups all is well.

Cold nexted my 4/10 FB 2 days ago, she started drama and I ignored her, I was bored with her clingy bs anyway. Now back working on my Tinder matches, will go out tonight or tomorrow.

But the thing I wanted most is fvck the shat out of miss BPD. Gotta maintain control.

 

[BadBoy17]

Day 26

Last few days I have been acking for sexual satisfaction, I haven't masturbated since I broke up with my ex, I tried to hook up with 2 girls but found myself lacking the will to put in the effort to chase them and spend money on dates. Last night I went to a strip club, drink a few beers and talk with some of the strippers, found myself enjoying their company, they are very honest with what they want: money for sex, but still I didn't want to buy sex, the funny thing is that I ended up winning the "strip lottery" with the number the doorman gave me (was he the devil in disguise?), so the Madame told me that I could choose any girl I wanted for free, I wanted to choose a girl that looks the opposite from my ex but in the end I choose one whose very similar to her. Not gonna lie, I f#cked her in my ex favorite position and for a while I pretended she was her, and damn she smelled good. After that I realized that every woman is capable to give you the same satisfaction in bed as any other, what I'm missing is the companionship and the familiarity of a person you know, so I plan to pursue new woman but not fall in love with them because that sort of dependency it's retarded.

What do you think about what happened yesterday, was the devil's luck with me? did the "universe" wanted the to get free p#ssy? lol. What would you have done instead?

 

[MrAddiction]

Companionship from a trusted person that is what I do miss too. Today was one of those days. I was down in the morning. For good sake I had forgotten my cellular in the car. When I got it this afternoon. I saw my ClusteB X had again tried to contact me - After one week passed without her calling. She had called and send a mesage asking, ins everything were alright due to the fact that she can not reach me. Then this afternoon she called again on the cellphone and half an hour later my home phone number.
3 and a half month NC and damn hoovering is getting more intense.

 

[BadBoy17]

Companionship from a trusted person that is what I do miss too. Today was one of those days. I was down in the morning. For good sake I had forgotten my cellular in the car. When I got it this afternoon. I saw my ClusteB X had again tried to contact me - After one week passed without her calling. She had called and send a mesage asking, ins everything were alright due to the fact that she can not reach me. Then this afternoon she called again on the cellphone and half an hour later my home phone number.
3 and a half month NC and damn hoovering is getting more intense.

She's desperate for the validation that she didn't do anything wrong by ****ing you up, if you give up and answer she will know she can get you back, then she will feel validated as your superior and put you in a really dark place, and I'm not talking about her vagina.

 

[MrAddiction]

and I'm not talking about her vagina

;-))
I even do not want to go there anymore even if I would get paid - not after knowing my replacement. She is a rotten fruit now.

 

[BadBoy17]

;-))
I even do not want to go there anymore even if I would get paid - not after knowing my replacement. She is a rotten fruit now.

Indeed, if something good came up from that ****ed up interaction you had at her place, it's that you can see her true colors; so my friend, pursue things that make you happy and stay strong.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Companionship from a trusted person that is what I do miss too. Today was one of those days. I was down in the morning. For good sake I had forgotten my cellular in the car. When I got it this afternoon. I saw my ClusteB X had again tried to contact me - After one week passed without her calling. She had called and send a mesage asking, ins everything were alright due to the fact that she can not reach me. Then this afternoon she called again on the cellphone and half an hour later my home phone number.
3 and a half month NC and damn hoovering is getting more intense.

Perfect man, you're now in full control, DONT ANSWER.
Let her sweat, she knows she's lost the upper hand now and the more she calls the more she damages her own narcisistic ego. Remember, she doesn't care about you, she is not calling to ask how you are doing, she is calling because she wants the upper hand back, to validate her ego.
Like a serial killer going back to the crime scene to get off at the damage they did.

 

[BadBoy17]

Perfect man, you're now in full control, DONT ANSWER.
Let her sweat, she knows she's lost the upper hand now and the more calls she makes the more she loses it. Remember, she doesn't care about you, she is not calling to ask how you are doing, she is calling because she wants the upper hand back, to validate her ego.
Like a serial killer going back to the crime scene to get off at the damage they did.

That's a good analogy, to this day it still baffles me, how can women act this way without remorse, do they seriously believe this is the normal way of things? if that's the case then there is no hope, this venomous teaching it's deeply entrenched in our current sociaety normatives.

 

[QuadDeuces]

That's a good analogy, to this day it still baffles me, how can women act this way without remorse, do they seriously believe this is the normal way of things? if that's the case then there is no hope, this venomous teaching it's deeply entrenched in our current sociaety normatives.

I believe MrAddictions ex is a BPDer, they have no remorse and no empathy, they will cheat on you and blame you for it.
They don't call to care how you are doing, after a break up when they first told you you weren't sh*t and btw had been f*cking other guys behind your back and it's all your fault.