Zion
Senior Don Juan
You start with
The interaction. Before you can text her you need her number. Makes sense? Good. Not just that, but you gotta get it with a hint of style, because if your initial interaction is sh!t your text game will suffer. The content of your message will be altered, to your advantage or not, by the personality you've portrayed.
If you're a cheeky fun loving bastard, pretty much anything you text will be taken with a hint of humor. Which is more often than not a good thing.
On the other side of the spectrum, if you're acting all serious while getting those digits, don't be surprised if she doesn't get the racist joke you just attempted.
This is why the first impression has such resonance. Plus it's easier to create a bond or make some sort of an inside joke based on your initial conversation.
Approach her
So you're on you way to the market to buy some oranges. And pineapples. Because you've heard people on the internet say that they make your sperm taste good. That’s not just me right?
Anyway, you see what you could swear is Scarlett Johansons' twin sister - or Moby D!ck, whatever you're into - passing you by. Surely you can't just walk up to her and start saying words, right? Yes, that's exactly what you're gonna do. Because for once in her life she should have the privilege of being properly approached by an artist. Or something.
Now you have sex
Kidding. But you've stopped her. What are you gonna ask?
You don't ask. You tell her exactly why you're there, how she looks half-cute and you how you wanna know her name. You're not there for directions, the time or the weather. That's what your smartphone is for. And you can't fvck your smartphone. I think.
What to say
This really isn't rocket science. Forget about scripted routines or magic lines you read about after violently masturbating 5 minutes ago. If you're anywhere over the mental age of 15, you should have some sort of idea about who you are, what you love and the things you stand for. So polarize. Show her that retarded sense of humor, your cheeky conversation skills or superb sarcasm. Everyone has their own style & strengths. Don't try to be something you're not, be the best version of yourself. And have fun with it.
Drop small teases during the conversation. Example:
Oh I can see already see you're a princess. You probably sleep in pink furry pijamas don't you?
Don't say sh!t like that unless it's congruent with who you are. But hey, now she has a pet name you can use in that initial text. Congrats, "who is this?" is now something you'll never have to come across ever again.
During the conversation, don't ask questions like you're interviewing her. Instead, make statements.
"What's your major?" should sound more like "You look like a doctor. I bet you have horrible handwritting".
Again, no gimmicks or routines. The reasons behind this are psychological. First off, 95% of dudes will just ask about the weather whenever they run out of things to say. Secondly, when you're making a statement you're implying some sort of assumption. If your guess is correct, she'll be intrigued as to how you figured it out. If you're wrong she'll still wanna know why you though she'll be sticking her finger up mens' asses for a living. Win-win.
Tonality is important but we won't go into details. Basically try speaking from your chest, not your throat/head. The latter is usually a sign of nervousness. That's not sexy. Also, take your time. Don't talk like Busta Rhymes raps.
Closing
Never ever in your life give her your number. Not even at gunpoint. Die like a man with your dignity intact. Unless it's an exchange. "Why don't you just give me your number?" is a female encryption for "I will never fvck you. Ever".
Examples of getting her number:
"A'right, (hand her your phone)"
"Ok, what's your number? I'll text you when we're hanging out"
"Give me your number"
If she objects to any of these, offers her facebook/email/fax instead, there's only one valid response. You say:
"Ok how's this. You give me your number, I'll text you something very (stupid/romantic/funny/gay) and you can either reply to that ridiculously handsome guy you've met on the street and have beautiful children together, or you can just delete the text and we won't meet ever again"
That's it. Whatever she says after that, take it at face value and leave.
Oh, by the way. Whenever she says she has a boyfriend, please stop taking it as a personal ego boost challenge. Unless it's blatantly obvious she's trying to be cheeky, there's absolutely no reason to pursue her further. I don't, and neither should you, care if that's true or not. The words themselves are meaningless, the intention behind them are what counts. She either has a boyfriend and told you straight up, or she outright lied to your face. Either way, intentions are the same. She isn't interested.
How long do I wait to send the first text?
Here's a little secret. Instead of pretending to have an awesome busy life, actually spend that time on building an awesome busy life. Forget about the 1 day 14 hours and 47 minute rule. There are no rules. I send the first text when I have time for a conversation and am not doing something more important. Like masturbating. Or having sex. With myself.
Just keep in mind that the longer you wait, the more that initial impact fades.
Should I take twice as long as her to reply?
No. People practically live on their smartphones these days. Again, forget about ancient rules that surfaced when the art of seduction was making it's first baby steps. We're in 2015, NASA is planning a Mars landing. Act like it.
Plus how the hell are you supposed to have a fun conversation when each party takes 45 minutes to reply?
Don't write a novel. Texts are supposed to be concise, fun and light. Spark up some emotion, send her a funny picture. Whatever, just don't ask her how her days was over text.
She never initiates
Women are less invested in a man before she had sex with him and more invested after. For us it's exactly the other way around. Let that sink in, accept it and move on. The only thing you gotta worry about is if she rarely ever replies, in which case you're probably being boring.
Grammar, spelling, emoji's, haha's
You ever seen an autocorrect joke? that sh!t actually exists. I mean you seriously gotta write 3 letters before your phone suggests what most likely is the word you were looking for. You have absolutely no excuse for poor grammar / improper spelling. Use it right, it makes you look smarter and adds more value to the conversation. That's sexy.
The impact of a joke, innuendo or sarcastic comment will be greatly diminished by the use of emoji's. They're like a failsafe, there only to reduce the riskiness of what you've just said. It also reduces the value. It's not a good tradeoff.
I'm not even gonna get into the subject of "haha's" every other text. Don't do it, you look mentally retarded.
The interaction. Before you can text her you need her number. Makes sense? Good. Not just that, but you gotta get it with a hint of style, because if your initial interaction is sh!t your text game will suffer. The content of your message will be altered, to your advantage or not, by the personality you've portrayed.
If you're a cheeky fun loving bastard, pretty much anything you text will be taken with a hint of humor. Which is more often than not a good thing.
On the other side of the spectrum, if you're acting all serious while getting those digits, don't be surprised if she doesn't get the racist joke you just attempted.
This is why the first impression has such resonance. Plus it's easier to create a bond or make some sort of an inside joke based on your initial conversation.
Approach her
So you're on you way to the market to buy some oranges. And pineapples. Because you've heard people on the internet say that they make your sperm taste good. That’s not just me right?
Anyway, you see what you could swear is Scarlett Johansons' twin sister - or Moby D!ck, whatever you're into - passing you by. Surely you can't just walk up to her and start saying words, right? Yes, that's exactly what you're gonna do. Because for once in her life she should have the privilege of being properly approached by an artist. Or something.
Now you have sex
Kidding. But you've stopped her. What are you gonna ask?
You don't ask. You tell her exactly why you're there, how she looks half-cute and you how you wanna know her name. You're not there for directions, the time or the weather. That's what your smartphone is for. And you can't fvck your smartphone. I think.
What to say
This really isn't rocket science. Forget about scripted routines or magic lines you read about after violently masturbating 5 minutes ago. If you're anywhere over the mental age of 15, you should have some sort of idea about who you are, what you love and the things you stand for. So polarize. Show her that retarded sense of humor, your cheeky conversation skills or superb sarcasm. Everyone has their own style & strengths. Don't try to be something you're not, be the best version of yourself. And have fun with it.
Drop small teases during the conversation. Example:
Oh I can see already see you're a princess. You probably sleep in pink furry pijamas don't you?
Don't say sh!t like that unless it's congruent with who you are. But hey, now she has a pet name you can use in that initial text. Congrats, "who is this?" is now something you'll never have to come across ever again.
During the conversation, don't ask questions like you're interviewing her. Instead, make statements.
"What's your major?" should sound more like "You look like a doctor. I bet you have horrible handwritting".
Again, no gimmicks or routines. The reasons behind this are psychological. First off, 95% of dudes will just ask about the weather whenever they run out of things to say. Secondly, when you're making a statement you're implying some sort of assumption. If your guess is correct, she'll be intrigued as to how you figured it out. If you're wrong she'll still wanna know why you though she'll be sticking her finger up mens' asses for a living. Win-win.
Tonality is important but we won't go into details. Basically try speaking from your chest, not your throat/head. The latter is usually a sign of nervousness. That's not sexy. Also, take your time. Don't talk like Busta Rhymes raps.
Closing
Never ever in your life give her your number. Not even at gunpoint. Die like a man with your dignity intact. Unless it's an exchange. "Why don't you just give me your number?" is a female encryption for "I will never fvck you. Ever".
Examples of getting her number:
"A'right, (hand her your phone)"
"Ok, what's your number? I'll text you when we're hanging out"
"Give me your number"
If she objects to any of these, offers her facebook/email/fax instead, there's only one valid response. You say:
"Ok how's this. You give me your number, I'll text you something very (stupid/romantic/funny/gay) and you can either reply to that ridiculously handsome guy you've met on the street and have beautiful children together, or you can just delete the text and we won't meet ever again"
That's it. Whatever she says after that, take it at face value and leave.
Oh, by the way. Whenever she says she has a boyfriend, please stop taking it as a personal ego boost challenge. Unless it's blatantly obvious she's trying to be cheeky, there's absolutely no reason to pursue her further. I don't, and neither should you, care if that's true or not. The words themselves are meaningless, the intention behind them are what counts. She either has a boyfriend and told you straight up, or she outright lied to your face. Either way, intentions are the same. She isn't interested.
How long do I wait to send the first text?
Here's a little secret. Instead of pretending to have an awesome busy life, actually spend that time on building an awesome busy life. Forget about the 1 day 14 hours and 47 minute rule. There are no rules. I send the first text when I have time for a conversation and am not doing something more important. Like masturbating. Or having sex. With myself.
Just keep in mind that the longer you wait, the more that initial impact fades.
Should I take twice as long as her to reply?
No. People practically live on their smartphones these days. Again, forget about ancient rules that surfaced when the art of seduction was making it's first baby steps. We're in 2015, NASA is planning a Mars landing. Act like it.
Plus how the hell are you supposed to have a fun conversation when each party takes 45 minutes to reply?
Don't write a novel. Texts are supposed to be concise, fun and light. Spark up some emotion, send her a funny picture. Whatever, just don't ask her how her days was over text.
She never initiates
Women are less invested in a man before she had sex with him and more invested after. For us it's exactly the other way around. Let that sink in, accept it and move on. The only thing you gotta worry about is if she rarely ever replies, in which case you're probably being boring.
Grammar, spelling, emoji's, haha's
You ever seen an autocorrect joke? that sh!t actually exists. I mean you seriously gotta write 3 letters before your phone suggests what most likely is the word you were looking for. You have absolutely no excuse for poor grammar / improper spelling. Use it right, it makes you look smarter and adds more value to the conversation. That's sexy.
The impact of a joke, innuendo or sarcastic comment will be greatly diminished by the use of emoji's. They're like a failsafe, there only to reduce the riskiness of what you've just said. It also reduces the value. It's not a good tradeoff.
I'm not even gonna get into the subject of "haha's" every other text. Don't do it, you look mentally retarded.
