YouTuber does 100 ask outs to overcome fear of rejection

[Clockwerk50]

You're right that we're prone to being too direct too early.

Unfortunately (which you touched upon), we're also prone to overcorrecting in the opposite direction.

I myself was too direct in my younger days, then ended up becoming the type of overcorrecter I just mentioned as I've gotten older.

All in all, we have a hard time finding the happy medium.

Nice! Now you know what to do when you go back to those speed dating events or when you're talking to a woman you're interested in. Just find that happy medium.

 

[GoodMan32]

Interesting. 2012 was also the best year I had romantically. Dealt with a girl I met online for the greater part of the year, and I really liked her, and went allot of places together with her and spent ALLOT of time together. But, over 12 years ago for both of us right? While I got married in 2014, I still remember 2012 as one of the best years of the last decade.

Interesting how 2012 was the best year for both of us (and surprising, seeing as we were in totally different stages of life)

I have some ideas of why 2012 was such a good year for me.

I was in college.

I was 20-21 (which meant I had aged out of the unfortunate position @SW15 has mentioned on the forum, where 18-19 year old college males are largely viewed as too young, except for maybe freshman girls)

Craigslist still allowed you to post ads looking for casual sex (that's how I nailed 5 of my 6 partners in 2012)

I also went on dates with a decent amount of broads in 2012 (some from Craigslist, some from other online methods, one from meeting organically in real life)

2015 was my best year in terms of continuous free sex with the same woman (I had free sex with the same woman 6 times in 2015, a record for me). I'd be reluctant to say 2015 was my best year sexually, however, as I only had free sex with 2 partners in 2015)

 

[GoodMan32]

Amazing the extent some posters twist logic to slag the OP. Almost like they're looking for someone to beat down and lack the impulse control for restraint.

There's always kicking stuffed animals if the urge can't be controlled, just sayin'

I'm gonna choke when it really counts
I'm gonna get kicked when I'm down

(Those lines from the song If I Surrender by The Color Fred totally describe my dating/sex life)

 

[GoodMan32]

If a chicken had lips it could whistle. I don't film my daily interactions...

Whether you personally film is irrelevant. We have no control over who in the vicinity might film us.

 

[GoodMan32]

Feel free to edit your original post with this "friend link" that bypasses the paywall:

Youtuber Asks Out 100 Girls to Overcome Fear of Rejection

An incredible social experiment that proves incels wrong…again!

medium.com

Thanks for posting my Medium article!

I'm pretty sure it's too late to edit my OP (unfortunately).

That being said, I'm glad you shared the full article with me. I read the whole thing. How awesome that you're the author. I never would have guessed the author belonged to this very forum.

I must ask: What are your thoughts on the comments (in the comment section of the article) that point out the fact Medium hosts a lot of articles written by feminists who tell us to never approach a woman?

 

[GoodMan32]

The thing is, even in the age of smartphones you can easily ask if they're locals and do they know a good restaurant nearby or which café might have the best coffee or is there a vintage shop nearby or... Only socially awkward nerds trust google to advise them.

One time when I was outside on break at work, a beautiful woman (she seriously looked like one of those models in mail order bride catalogues) asked me for directions to a cafe in my office complex. I gave her directions (and this is a different beautiful woman than the one from the directions story I shared on a recent post)

What a shame I was on the work premises. Even if I technically wasn't working at the moment (as I was on break), I was still sort of on-the-job. So it wouldn't have been appropriate to shoot my shot on her.

 

[GoodMan32]

Nice! Now you know what to do when you go back to those speed dating events or when you're talking to a woman you're interested in. Just find that happy medium.

Easier said than done.

I don't even know what the happy medium entails. All I know is that it exists (and I have a hard time finding it)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What a shame I was on the work premises. Even if I technically wasn't working at the moment (as I was on break), I was still sort of on-the-job. So it wouldn't have been appropriate to shoot my shot on her.

Like I said before, you can shoot your shot, but you have to be socially calibrated to do so without consequences. There's a thread on subtle flirting. If you are an experienced flirt, you can easily check if there is mutual attraction without creeping her out and having to report to HR.

That's why you should stop making all these excuses, venture outside your comfort zone and get experienced at interacting with women without creeping them out.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Too many people have no idea that you often learn more from your failures than your successes.

Yeah, and too many folks don't recognize that "success" and "failure" are little more than labels we put on events, rather than indirect ways of saying what we REALLY mean: "In (insert situation), I didn't get exactly what I would've preferred"

Getting specific allows us to ask questions like: "Was what I desired especially practical to begin with? If so, what tactics and strategies can I employ next time around, in order to increase the liklihood of getting my needs and desires met?"

 

[GoodMan32]

Feel free to edit your original post with this "friend link" that bypasses the paywall:

Youtuber Asks Out 100 Girls to Overcome Fear of Rejection

An incredible social experiment that proves incels wrong…again!

medium.com

Thanks for posting my Medium article!

Another thing I meant to address: The part where you said a man with a 16% success rate in the real world might get zero matches on Tinder.

Brilliant point. It's been said before on this forum how Tinder is oversaturated, you need to be a Chad to succeed on Tinder, etc.

On the other hand, there are some benefits that come with real world approaches. The woman has to make the decision in real-time (and isn't able to hide behind a screen). Furthermore, even if the woman might get approached by 10 other men in-person same day, that's still not the same as Tinder, where the woman can swipe through thousands of men.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Getting specific allows us to ask questions like: "Was what I desired especially practical to begin with? If so, what tactics and strategies can I employ next time around, in order to increase the liklihood of getting my needs and desires met?"

Yes, it's amusing to me how many guys desire women that are 'hot' but detrimental to their health, wellbeing and sanity. The painful part is that those guys in turn don't qualify for the suitable women.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Brilliant point. It's been said before on this forum how Tinder is oversaturated, you need to be a Chad to succeed on Tinder, etc.

You still so naive to think that's a dating app.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

On the other hand, there are some benefits that come with real world approaches. The woman has to make the decision in real-time (and isn't able to hide behind a screen). Furthermore, even if the woman might get approached by 10 other men in-person same day, that's still not the same as Tinder, where the woman can swipe through thousands of men.

You're talking from experience, hmmm?

 

[GoodMan32]

You still so naive to think that's a dating app.

I'm aware Tinder is for sex.

Let's be honest though. A lot of times, when a man asks a woman out, he's really looking to get between her legs (but asking her out is more socially acceptable than asking her for sex)

 

[GoodMan32]

You're talking from experience, hmmm?

Somewhat. I had a short-lived relationship with a female classmate I approached in college. I dumped her after a week because she was too strange for me (which is saying a lot)

I exchanged numbers with a broad at a mini mart back when I was 23 (and had a meet-up a few days later, even if she brought a male chaperone, and even if she compared me to Jeffrey Dahmer)

I got my last date (not counting the speed dating events) from cold approaching a woman in which some other man wanted me to serve as his wingman (and I got a date from her)

Had I messaged any of these broads on a website/app, it's likely I never would have gotten a response.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yes, it's amusing to me how many guys desire women that are 'hot' but detrimental to their health, wellbeing and sanity

The conventional wisdom around The Manosphere is that men in The Post-Industrial West have been feminized, but this couldn't be further from the truth: Most of us have been juvenalized, and this is apparent in the behavior you're describing: Being led around by your d-ck and libido, rather than evidence and one's values

 

[GoodMan32]

I remembered another comment that stood out (either on the YouTube vid or the article; I forget which one).

The commenter said something along the lines of "I have a pretty easy time talking to a woman platonically. As a result, anyone who knows me doesn't get why I struggle to get a woman. Here's why I struggle: Because when talking to a woman more-than-platonically, I fall apart"

The comment sounds like it could have been written by me.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The conventional wisdom around The Manosphere is that men in The Post-Industrial West have been feminized, but this couldn't be further from the truth: Most of us have been juvenalized, and this is apparent in the behavior you're describing: Being led around by your d-ck and libido, rather than evidence and one's values

And they scoff at the idea of maturity and emotional self-control, preferring to be emotionally volatile wrecks looking for a safe harbour.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I remembered another comment that stood out (either on the YouTube vid or the article; I forget which one).

The commenter said something along the lines of "I have a pretty easy time talking to a woman platonically. As a result, anyone who knows me doesn't get why I struggle to get a woman. Here's why I struggle: Because when talking to a woman more-than-platonically, I fall apart"

The comment sounds like it could have been written by me.

That's because you, like the dildo you're quoting, don't have enough blood to feed both your brain and your penis, so once you get an erection your mind goes blank.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Easier said than done.

I don't even know what the happy medium entails. All I know is that it exists (and I have a hard time finding it)

It is a mixture of re-reading the theory that I wrote and trial and error. Another technique you can use is shadowboxing since, after all, your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a ‘real’ experience.

Our mistakes, failures, and even moments of humiliation are essential parts of the learning process. They are intended to be stepping stones and not permanent destinations. Once they've fulfilled their purpose, they should be let go. If we continue to dwell on them or feel guilty, constantly berating ourselves, we unintentionally make the mistake or failure the focus of our thoughts and memories, rather than moving past it.