YouTuber does 100 ask outs to overcome fear of rejection

[zekko]

I remember reading a comment on Quora once that said something along the lines of "There are many cases where a woman thinks she's being obvious, the man thinks she's only being nice, so then he never makes a move on her (even though he is into her).

One problem is all the attention hos out there. They openly flirt with guys just to get attention, but have no actual interest in them. These girls are very skilled at flirting too, so it's often difficult to tell the difference from that and a woman genuinely expressing some interest in you.

 

[SW15]

his experience doesn't necessarily give us an idea of how American men would fare if we were to do this experiment right here in our home country.

I would want to know how American men would do in America doing this.

I think I recall @SW15 (who admittedly only watched part of the vid) said he'd be curious as to what exactly the YouTuber did as far as conversation with her. After watching the whole vid, it appeared he largely just blurted out "Would you like to go on a date with me?" (with no lead-up)

Lastly, all in all, I'd say his 16% success rate is impressive.

Getting 16% yes answers with no lead ups on pure street game (the hardest form of game) is good. He might have only minimally tried to qualify prospects by going to a part of that city that is more unmarrieds.

Tom Torero provided estimates about success rates with daygame. Tom Torero's info would be more reliable that this YouTube video you shared.

The Art of Daygame Seduction – Tom Torero - Alpha Male 2.0

Today’s article is written by my favorite daygame guy, Tom Torero. There is also a FREE audio component to this article, available for everyone. Tom will also be replying in the comments. Take it away, Tom!

alphamale20.com

What kind of realistic expectations should you have? Well, depending on your starting point, your mileage will vary. But a solid daygamer should be able to get a number from 25% of the girls he approaches. Out of those numbers, 25% should come out on dates. And from those dates, 25% should end up in his bed. If you think those statistics are depressing then look at your ratios for Tinder or dating sites.

Based on this, a daygamer would need to approach 75 women to get 19 phone numbers, 4-5 dates, and 1 new sexual partner. That's using a strong systematic approach like the London Daygame Model. I think a lot of daygamers need to approach more than 75 women to find a new sexual partner.

I think that most daygamers will need to do over 100 approaches to get a sexual partner and it will take a lot of time to do that. I don't think most men can 'spam' daygame to shorten that time and I don't think there's a desire on the part of most men to 'spam' daygame.

 

[Clockwerk50]

This thread is about certain cultural phenomena that might have led to the current status quo (where there are a lot of struggling men in 2024)

On a forum about helping men become better with the ladies, a discussion about what led a lot of men to become failures (and how to overcome it) is relevant.

As an analogy, in order for an alcoholic at an AA meeting to overcome his alcoholism, they'd first need to discuss/solve whatever made him become an alcoholic.

On the contrary, while analyzing past societal factors can be intellectually stimulating, it is ultimately less productive than focusing on practical, present-day solutions to improve individual dating skills. Dwelling on the past can signal a lack of confidence and ownership of one's actions. It's more effective to focus on personal growth and improvement, rather than external factors.

Unlike alcoholism, which often requires addressing deep-rooted psychological and physiological dependencies, improving dating skills is primarily a matter of learning and practicing specific behaviors. While understanding past experiences can provide context, it's not a prerequisite for making positive changes in the present. The primary focus should be on developing practical skills and strategies for success in the present.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I admit I have a problem when it comes to approaching a woman.

I've even taken remedies to fix it, seeing as I've attended 2 speed dating events lately.

Doing anything before you work on fixing your mindset which is the REAL problem is an effort in futility.

You know, the hard work...

 

[GoodMan32]

One problem is all the attention hos out there. They openly flirt with guys just to get attention, but have no actual interest in them. These girls are very skilled at flirting too, so it's often difficult to tell the difference from that and a woman genuinely expressing some interest in you.

Good point.

Between broads who really are genuinely into you (but only give subtle clues), combined with broads who aren't into you whatsoever (but give obvious clues simply because they're attention hos), deciphering interest becomes challenging even for a neurotypical.

Then there's a 3rd category (along the same lines as the attention hos, only more evil): Broads who will flat out prank you (In 8th grade, a popular girl at school spent an entire Friday pretending to be into me. She even gave me a fake number. Come Monday, my whole grade found out she was only pranking me. How humiliating. A kid down the street from me growing up, who was 6 years younger than me, fell victim to the same prank when he was in middle school. And he's neurotypical)

 

[zekko]

Then there's a 3rd category (along the same lines as the attention hos, only more evil): Broads who will flat out prank you (In 8th grade, a popular girl at school spent an entire Friday pretending to be into me. She even gave me a fake number. Come Monday, my whole grade found out she was only pranking me. How humiliating. A kid down the street from me growing up, who was 6 years younger than me, fell victim to the same prank when he was in middle school. And he's neurotypical)

Sounds like it should be a movie.

 

[GoodMan32]

I would want to know how American men would do in America doing this.



Getting 16% yes answers with no lead ups on pure street game (the hardest form of game) is good. He might have only minimally tried to qualify prospects by going to a part of that city that is more unmarrieds.

Tom Torero provided estimates about success rates with daygame. Tom Torero's info would be more reliable that this YouTube video you shared.

The Art of Daygame Seduction – Tom Torero - Alpha Male 2.0

Today’s article is written by my favorite daygame guy, Tom Torero. There is also a FREE audio component to this article, available for everyone. Tom will also be replying in the comments. Take it away, Tom!

alphamale20.com

Based on this, a daygamer would need to approach 75 women to get 19 phone numbers, 4-5 dates, and 1 new sexual partner. That's using a strong systematic approach like the London Daygame Model. I think a lot of daygamers need to approach more than 75 women to find a new sexual partner.

I think that most daygamers will need to do over 100 approaches to get a sexual partner and it will take a lot of time to do that. I don't think most men can 'spam' daygame to shorten that time and I don't think there's a desire on the part of most men to 'spam' daygame.

I suppose it's possible he had more in-depth opening lines that he cut out when posting the vid (to prevent the vid from getting too long for the viewers). I guess we'll never know. Since the purpose of his social experiment was to spam approach, however, I'd venture to guess he probably didn't have time for much of a lead-up.

A lot of the scenes looked like they took place in a highly built up urban setting (which would suggest a lot of unmarrieds). The fact everyone he approached was young would also skew his sample pool (in the sense that they'd be more likely to be unmarried)

Will certainly check out Tom Torero. Even taking sex out of the equation, if I could so much as get a date, I'd view that as a success.

After watching the YouTube vid, I'm almost tempted to do a similar experiment (only I won't film mine). That type of experiment (for me at least) might be better to do (on the first try at least) when I'm visiting an unfamiliar city (so that way if the experiment goes sour, it's not like I have to stick around in that city for long)

 

[GoodMan32]

On the contrary, while analyzing past societal factors can be intellectually stimulating, it is ultimately less productive than focusing on practical, present-day solutions to improve individual dating skills. Dwelling on the past can signal a lack of confidence and ownership of one's actions. It's more effective to focus on personal growth and improvement, rather than external factors.

Unlike alcoholism, which often requires addressing deep-rooted psychological and physiological dependencies, improving dating skills is primarily a matter of learning and practicing specific behaviors. While understanding past experiences can provide context, it's not a prerequisite for making positive changes in the present. The primary focus should be on developing practical skills and strategies for success in the present.

It could certainly help if feminists were told to stfu and stop spreading the "never approach a woman" nonsense (because if feminists stopped spreading their nonsense, society could prevent additional men from becoming incels/borderline incels in the future)

 

[GoodMan32]

Doing anything before you work on fixing your mindset which is the REAL problem is an effort in futility.

You know, the hard work...

First you said it's foolish how I complain about the fact broads hardly ever approach me (which would suggest you're implying I should approach broads myself).

Then when I point out the fact that I've made major strides in approaching (by recently attending 2 speed dating events), you tell me my mindset is what I really need to fix.

(And yeah, even though the approaches I do at speed dating events are in a controlled environment, they're still approaches)

 

[GoodMan32]

Sounds like it should be a movie.

There's probably a movie with that premise (even though I don't know of any off the top of my head)

I know there's an episode of Young Sheldon where Sheldon's neighbor gets pranked by a girl.

 

[GoodMan32]

I would want to know how American men would do in America doing this.



Getting 16% yes answers with no lead ups on pure street game (the hardest form of game) is good. He might have only minimally tried to qualify prospects by going to a part of that city that is more unmarrieds.

Tom Torero provided estimates about success rates with daygame. Tom Torero's info would be more reliable that this YouTube video you shared.

The Art of Daygame Seduction – Tom Torero - Alpha Male 2.0

Today’s article is written by my favorite daygame guy, Tom Torero. There is also a FREE audio component to this article, available for everyone. Tom will also be replying in the comments. Take it away, Tom!

alphamale20.com

Based on this, a daygamer would need to approach 75 women to get 19 phone numbers, 4-5 dates, and 1 new sexual partner. That's using a strong systematic approach like the London Daygame Model. I think a lot of daygamers need to approach more than 75 women to find a new sexual partner.

I think that most daygamers will need to do over 100 approaches to get a sexual partner and it will take a lot of time to do that. I don't think most men can 'spam' daygame to shorten that time and I don't think there's a desire on the part of most men to 'spam' daygame.

I've started reading the Tom Torero link.

Good information.

One observation so far: He recommends you cut to the chase and tell her right off the bat you find her attractive. On the other hand, I think I recall you saying you like to ease into escalating.

Not saying either approach is right/wrong; merely pointing out the fact you and him have different approaches.

 

[SW15]

One observation so far: He recommends you cut to the chase and tell her right off the bat you find her attractive. On the other hand, I think I recall you saying you like to ease into escalating.

Not saying either approach is right/wrong; merely pointing out the fact you and him have different approaches.

That's the ever famous direct vs. indirect game debate. A lot of threads have led to that discussion before.

London Daygame Model is a good model. In the book "Mystery Method", legendary PUA Mystery says that his method can be used in non-bar venues on one page in a roughly 200 page book. He never explains how the method is applicable in daygame. Guys like Torero and Nick Krauser started trying to flesh out Mystery Method in a non-bar setting.

Torero was most known for street game. European cities are better suited for pure street game than almost every USA city. New York City is the best USA city for street game. Miami has some street game options in Brickell and South Beach. Boston or Chicago might get enough foot traffic to warrant using it. Dallas doesn't have much pure street game. The closest thing to street game in Dallas is the Katy Trail, a walking path near Uptown. Phoenix has hiking paths that are options for approaching (but many are better suited as an early stage activity date option) and it might be possible to do some street approaching around Old Town Scottsdale. In Old Town Scottsdale, nightlife venues are better than the street. The grocery stores near Old Town and Scottsdale Fashion Square are also better daygame options than the street.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

First you said it's foolish how I complain about the fact broads hardly ever approach me (which would suggest you're implying I should approach broads myself).

Then when I point out the fact that I've made major strides in approaching (by recently attending 2 speed dating events), you tell me my mindset is what I really need to fix.

(And yeah, even though the approaches I do at speed dating events are in a controlled environment, they're still approaches)

Your level of success will be low to non-existent until you fix your poisoned mindset towards women and relationships in general.

That comes first.

Essentially you are a giant walking red flag to women.

 

[corrector]

Your level of success will be low to non-existent until you fix your poisoned mindset towards women and relationships in general.

That comes first.

Essentially you are a giant walking red flag to women.

How is he a giant walking red flag at a speed dating event? Is that because he got amogged by the other guys there before he had a chance to get his bearings?

He has already seen a therapist and has made baby step strides and it sounds you want to play the big expert in understanding his mind. How do you expect him to fix his "poisoned mindset"? Getting another useless therapist?

I await to hear the OP's response to this.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"Feminism"(Whatever the hell THAT word means anymore)has played a role in the less than complimentary way men, as a class, are viewed, in the same way organized religion has played a role in creating stigmas around homosexuals, this is true

The only way such prejudices are reduced*... A large percentage of those within whichever demographic the public currently has unkind thoughts about have to go out into our neighborhoods, and defy the stereotypes about themselves. So it's going to be with modern men, when it comes to fighting back against the aftermath of MeToo


*Yes, I said "reduced", not "defeated". Prejudices, biases, and outright hate never vanish entirely

 

[Clockwerk50]

It could certainly help if feminists were told to stfu and stop spreading the "never approach a woman" nonsense (because if feminists stopped spreading their nonsense, society could prevent additional men from becoming incels/borderline incels in the future)

I know you might be venting, but again, blaming external factors like feminist views is an excuse that avoids taking responsibility for personal growth. Instead of focusing on societal influences, it’s more productive to develop your own confidence and dating skills.

I don't want to go off on a tangent, but I've mentioned multiple times that I've rarely encountered feminists in real life. It feels like a myth people complain about— or maybe my sense of purpose and strong frame make me indifferent to such petty things.

 

[Scaramouche]

I know you might be venting, but again, blaming external factors like feminist views is an excuse that avoids taking responsibility for personal growth. Instead of focusing on societal influences, it’s more productive to develop your own confidence and dating skills.

I don't want to go off on a tangent, but I've mentioned multiple times that I've rarely encountered feminists in real life. It feels like a myth people complain about— or maybe my sense of purpose and strong frame make me indifferent to such petty things.

Hi Clockwerk,
Well aint you lucky!....I have worked on and off in Academia,where Feminism is dominant amongst the Female Staff...And dont they make a Mazooma on it?...Before I jumped Ship,they had instituted a new policy that all appointments must be considered tentative until HR had approached all potentially likely lasses even vaguely in the area,the basis being that if they wanted the position,they didn't have to prove suitabilty,rather that the School involved had show that they were incapable of carrying out the Duty Statement...Resultrofound deterioration in Standards and paradoxically,"burn out" and nervous breakdowns amongst the anointed few!

 

[GoodMan32]

That's the ever famous direct vs. indirect game debate. A lot of threads have led to that discussion before.

London Daygame Model is a good model. In the book "Mystery Method", legendary PUA Mystery says that his method can be used in non-bar venues on one page in a roughly 200 page book. He never explains how the method is applicable in daygame. Guys like Torero and Nick Krauser started trying to flesh out Mystery Method in a non-bar setting.

Torero was most known for street game. European cities are better suited for pure street game than almost every USA city. New York City is the best USA city for street game. Miami has some street game options in Brickell and South Beach. Boston or Chicago might get enough foot traffic to warrant using it. Dallas doesn't have much pure street game. The closest thing to street game in Dallas is the Katy Trail, a walking path near Uptown. Phoenix has hiking paths that are options for approaching (but many are better suited as an early stage activity date option) and it might be possible to do some street approaching around Old Town Scottsdale. In Old Town Scottsdale, nightlife venues are better than the street. The grocery stores near Old Town and Scottsdale Fashion Square are also better daygame options than the street.

As a guy who's been to New York City many times, I'm going to chime in on the New York City thing.

On the surface, it would appear New York City is ideal for street approaches.

That being said, a lot of New Yorkers have the "don't talk to me" attitude.

For a number of reasons: Always in a hurry. Plus, the sheer amount of foot traffic in many sections of Manhattan means you're in a sea of pedestrians; it isn't really practical to stop and chat with anyone.

My time in New York City has mainly been in Manhattan. It's possible Brooklyn and Queens might be the happy medium: Enough foot traffic for cold approaches, without there being so much foot traffic you run into the problem I just mentioned.

 

[GoodMan32]

Your level of success will be low to non-existent until you fix your poisoned mindset towards women and relationships in general.

That comes first.

Essentially you are a giant walking red flag to women.

When you say I have a poisoned mindset, I'm going to guess (based on what you/other posters have said to me before) you mean:

-The fact I use the term broads
-The fact I want the woman to make the first move
-The fact I want casual sex; not a girlfriend/wife

In which case:

-I've already explained that I know better than to tell a woman I'm interested in she's a broad

-I've already explained that, as much as I'd like the woman to make the first move, I'm aware they won't make the first move in the vast majority of cases (which is why I've started doing stuff like going to speed dating events)

-As for the fact I want casual sex, so do a lot of men on here. Hell, the whole point of this forum is how to find casual sex

 

[GoodMan32]

How is he a giant walking red flag at a speed dating event? Is that because he got amogged by the other guys there before he had a chance to get his bearings?

He has already seen a therapist and has made baby step strides and it sounds you want to play the big expert in understanding his mind. How do you expect him to fix his "poisoned mindset"? Getting another useless therapist?

I await to hear the OP's response to this.

My last post addresses what he said.

As for the speed dating thing, I'm so glad I brought my cards this time (and handed out my cards during speed dates). Even though no one has reached out to me, at least my approach this time circumvented the problem I ran into last time.